p/s : I love to listen to Monsta X - Broken Heart when I finish this chapter.. https://youtu.be/3_hQcwKnkiE

Life is kind of strange if you ask. For all these years, she tries to run away from life as it only gives her pain and hurt. She was afraid to love again for the reason that she might get hurt once more. But, when her fragile little heart hesitantly opens up for one more time, life runs away from her. For the first time after a long time in her life, she found another purpose to live her short life, but, she is running out of time.

She need more time, that is all she wants. A time to spend more with him, to do the things she wants to do with him, to go wherever she want to go with him and to said the things she want to say to him. She loves him. She really do. Holding his big warm hands, smile and laugh with him, being with him, it is what make her life bearable to hold on. She can never imagine her life without him. And she sometimes wonders if she makes him feel the same way as she felt toward him. Would he be hurt when she is gone after this? Could he possibly continue to live his life without her? All these questions keep repeating inside her head whenever she thinks of him and it’s hurting her even more.

“What could possibly be in your little mind until you decided to ignore a boy these handsome who is sitting right beside you? Luhan voice rings in Chorong ears. Slowly she turns her head toward him. A smile caught on his lips when their eyes meet each other.

“And who is the handsome one might be?” She questioned back teasingly, refuse to admit the statement before.

“Beside the fact that I’m the only person sitting right next to you, I think that we both agree that I’m indeed handsome, isn’t that right?” Luhan smirked playfully while his hands carefully the girl long black hair. She still look beautiful as always from his eyes.

Chorong lips form a small smile with the boy answer. It amuse her how this boy in front of her right now can make her smile even with a simple answer like that.

“Aren’t you ashamed to admit it yourself?”

“So you do agree with me.” 

“I don’t say anything.”

“But you didn’t deny it either. It’s the same thing.” Luhan let out a loud chuckles when Chorong reply his statement with a dead stare. She even cuter with that face, his thought.

“You should feel very honor to have a person this handsome to be your boyfriend.” Luhan continued again still cannot get over with her cute expression.

“I should listen to my dad advice to me before.” Chorong stated suddenly. Luhan eyebrows frown, waiting for Chorong to finish her words.

“Never find someone who think himself is handsome as a boyfriend. It could be a pain in the to keep hearing that from his own mouth.” Chorong finished. Soon after Luhan left out a big laugh, not expecting the sentence from the girl mouth.

“Luhan!” Chorong called out firmly, annoyed with the boy reaction. Luhan one the other hand still trying to catch his own breath after the hearty laugh he let out before.

“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry.” He apologized immediately.

“But, you know what?” Luhan asked suddenly.

Chorong raised her eyebrows in wonder. “What?”

“You just admit it for the second time that I am indeed handsome.” He finished with a smirk. Chorong pouted her lips in annoyance while giving the boy a dead stare to kill his laugh but it is no use. Luhan continue to let out his loud hearty laugh.

Soon after, a smile form on Chorong lips too when her eyes freeze toward the boy reaction. Luhan face. Luhan smile. Luhan laughter. Luhan words that keep annoying her. Would she still be able to hear that after this? What they still be together even after 10 years has passes? Thinking about it make her eyes beamed in sadness.

“Luhan!” Chorong called out suddenly, calming down the boy from his own laugh.

“Hurrmm?” Luhan hummed an answer, noticing the sudden change from the girl expression. He know exactly what she is thinking right now. The same question he keep asking himself quite often lately. The question that even himself is afraid to know the answer. Unknowingly, his hands find its way toward the girl cold hands, holding it tightly as if it is the most precious thing he own.

Both of them stay still without even a single word, staring dearly toward each other eyes. A small tears appear from the corner of Chorong eyes. She can see right through Luhan eyes about his feeling. His sadness. His scared feeling. His uncertainty about what would happen next. His hurting heart. At that moment, with all her heart Chorong finally decide.

“Would you accompany me to some place?” She asked finally.

++*****+++*******++

Both Luhan and Chorong are in the midst of catching their breath after the sudden running they had a few minutes before. Bowing down politely toward the bus driver after paying the bus fare, Chorong pulls his hand lightly while walking toward the end row of the bus seat.

Luhan smile secretly inside his head, remembering on the day they met again after spending a few days together at the hospital. The one particular day when he finally decided to forgot about the girl but fate brought them together again. He wonder to himself what would happen to him today if that ‘fateful’ day wasn’t happening for them. Would he be happy with Seohyun right now? Luhan wouldn’t know the answer for that but one thing for sure, he never regret everything after that day.

“When you ask me to accompany you before, I never expect you to just bring me here.” Luhan started, quite taken aback with the girl choice of place.

Chorong immediately darted her eyes toward the boy beside him with a tight lips, trying hard to utter an answer toward his statement before. Is this the right choice for both of them? She question herself. Her mind said yes but her heart refuse to accept it.

“Why of all places, you choose to ride a bus with me?” Luhan questioned again, trying to read the girl mind. Since before when she ask him to accompany her to somewhere, his heart is telling him something is not right but he try his hard to ignore the suspicious feeling he felt. And now, with the girl silence word, making Luhan getting more anxious with his own feeling. The same feeling he felt before when he receive the call from Chanyeol, telling him the girl she love, the girl in front of him right now is dying.

Luhan pray repeatedly inside his mind, praying that whatever his head is thinking right now is nothing but a bad feeling he felt himself. He keep convincing himself that everything is just going to be fine.

“I’ve been questioning myself so many question these past week.” Chorong started shortly. With just those short sentence, Luhan heart beat faster than before from the sudden rush of feeling. 

Chorong lips curled upward giving Luhan the view of her small smile.

“Is our meeting consider as just a mere coincidence or really a fate?”

Luhan eyebrows frown with Chorong question. He look deeply into the girl eyes trying to find the meaning of her question before.

“What do you mean with that?” Luhan questioned back. Chorong smile still cannot make him getting rid of his anxiety he felt since before.

“I wonder what whould hapen to us if you never leave your room to play basketball with the kids at the hospital before. What if we never run together from the nurses after that? What if I didn’t bother to see you that night? What if I never have the courage to change room to your room? What if you decided not to attend Taeyeon unnie event that day? What if you decided not to forgive me after all that happen?” Chorong continued, pouring her thought.

Involuntarily, Luhan lips form a small smile remembering every single detail about their encounter toward each other. His hand slowly grabbing the cold hands of the girl while the others find it way to her chin, leading her to face him directly into his eyes.

“If you ask me, I can never answer to that question because I don’t know myself whether all that happened is either coincidences or fated. But, what I know for sure is that my feeling for you is real. Because, I choose to love you. Not by coincidence, not by fate.” As soon as he finish voices his heart out, he can see the girl eyes glittering with tears while her hands on his were getting colder.

Chorong expression were unreadable to Luhan. Is she in tears because she is too overwhelmed with his sudden confession or is there something else that bothering her? How he really wish that it would be the first choice but reluctantly, something about her telling him that it was the later.

Chorong finally decided to take one deep breath before her trembling hands slowly reach to Luhan warm face, it gently with all her love to him.

“Do you really love me that much?” Chorong sudden question puzzling the poor boy even more. How he really wish at time like this, he have the ability to read other people mind so he can easily know what is going on right now. He hate the feeling of waiting for someone to say something to him. Something that deep down his heart, he know that he wasn’t going to like it. Luhan answer Chorong question with just a simple nod, feeling his tongue a lot more heavier than usual.

“Then, would you do anything for me?” Chorong asked again.

“Everything.” Luhan answered shortly, telling the truth answer from his heart.

“Please ask me to break up with you.” Luhan could feel his world collapse as soon as the sentence come out from Chorong mouth. His world darken as the tine passes while everything around him felt like moving on slow motion. He can feel his heart stop for a second.

“I can’t break up with you. I really can’t. I love so much you that it hurt me every time I try to break up with you. So, please. Help me this one time. You do it.” Chorong continued. Her face already dwell in tears as she utter every single word to him.

How can he break up with her even when he already know that they can never live without each other?

“Luhan. “ Chorong called out slowly when the boy remain silence for a long time.

“Every time I’m with you, I feel greedy for everything. I want to live longer, I want to spend more time with you. I want to grow old with you beside me. I want to have a baby with you. But, I know I can’t. You know that clearly too.” Chorong continued again.

“Then, let’s do that. Let’s never be apart from now on.” Luhan answered quickly trying to change the girl mind.

“Believe me that I really want to do that too more than anything in the whole world but I know it would never change anything. I’m dying. How can I let you go peacefully when I know how much you love me and you’ll be break apart after I’m gone?”

“I need to know for sure that you’ll live your life fully even after I’m gone. I want you to be happy even if that mean I’m not going to be beside you anymore.” Chorong explained.

“I would never be happy if you’re not beside me.” Luhan protested slowly, feeling he is at the edge of loss with his own argument.

“You still got Seohyun beside you. She is a good girl. Don’t try to argue with me for that because I know her so much and I’m sure you do too. You still got you family. You also have a lot of friends around you. You’ll never be alone.”

Closing both of his eyes, Luhan slowly try to find his courage. He love her with all his heart and leaving her was the last thing he would do. He can never live without her but he know too that it would break her heart if she know that her upcoming leaving they try to deny would tear his life apart. Finally, Luhan decided. This has to come to an end.

“Park Chorong, listen carefully to what I’m going to say to you.” Luhan started his words. His teary eyes looking straight to her glittering eyes.

“Let’s break up.” He did it. He finally said those thorn like words that pierce through both of their heart.

I may regret leaving you but it's becasue I love you. Luhan thought sadly.