CHAPTER 22

U n f e i g n e d   S e c r e t s

KyungSoo steps out from a convenience store with a small paper bag in hand. He had a big backpack anchored to either of his small shoulders. He stuffs the toiletries he bought carefully inside it and takes out a small bottle of cold soda. He drinks the beverage as he caps it and waits for three people to arrive.

He looks at the distant clear blue sky and is amazed at how the first semester of his sophomore year trickled so quickly. It’s been five months already, and he surprisingly passed all his subjects, better than expected if he were to be honest with himself. He’s saved enough money for his parents’ anniversary which was coming in a few days’ time, and was even able to save some for himself. Emergency money he calls it.

“Annyeong KyungSoo!” A familiar voice catches him off-guard. He turns around and sees SunWoo with his girlfriend DoHee. They too are carrying big bags on their tiny frame. It was a beautiful Saturday morning and they were all given a weekend off to celebrate the school break. This was SooMan’s way of commending his young employees for a job well done. The Bubble Tea Shop is doing well since the triumvirate started manning the weekend shifts.

“Hello SunWoo hyung, hello DoHee noona.” KyungSoo smiles and bows to both of them.

“Hello too KyungSoo, are you excited for our trip?” DoHee chirps as she hands her boyfriend a small bottle of cold water.

“I am! I hope I packed enough for our trip though,” both SunWoo and DoHee laugh as they thought that KyungSoo actually overdid it. It was just a two-day one-night trip and it seems that he packed for an entire week.

“KyungSoo are you sure ChanYeol isn’t inside your bag? Or his stuff at least? ‘Coz it seems like you packed everything including your dorm sink.” SunWoo lightly jokes as he hits the younger one’s shoulders lightly.

“Where is ChanYeol by the way?” DoHee inquires.

“I don’t know, he said just wait for him here.” KyungSoo pulls out his phone to dial ChanYeol’s number. Just then, a small white car pulls up in front of them.

“Yah! Everyone get in!”

“ChanYeol? Whoa, where’d you get this ride?” SunWoo beams as he opens the door at the back to let his girlfriend in. The hood is opened and the rest of their bags were put in it. KyungSoo occupies the front passenger seat.

“I rented it. I figured if we had our own car we can stop anywhere we want. Cool yeah?”

With that, the four college friends start their trip to a famous mountain trail and campsite that SunWoo saw advertised in their University. They’ve been meaning to spend some off-work time together and they all agreed that the beach was to cliché.

Thirty minutes into the trip and the couple at the backseat were already sleeping, hand in hand. The driver glances at them from the mirror and smiles. KyungSoo glimpses at them as well. They look too cute a couple. He chuckles at himself as he meets ChanYeol’s quick gaze.

“Eyes on the road Yeoli.”

“Yessir!”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were renting a car? I could’ve split the bill with you.”

“Nah, don’t worry I got this. I know you’re saving up for your parents’ anniversary right?”

“Yes I am. I can’t wait to buy them a real neat present. Hey you can come to the celebration as my guest.” KyungSoo squeaks excitedly. He doesn’t see ChanYeol change his expression. He’s been avoiding having to come over to KyungSoo’s house everytime the younger invites him, stating lame excuses after the other. He doesn’t know how KyungSoo’s parents will take his sudden appearance back into their only child’s life.

“Yeah, that’d be swell.” He lies through his teeth.

After an hour’s worth of drive, ChanYeol notices that KyungSoo has fallen asleep as well. He sees that the other’s seatbelt was unfastened so he parks the car momentarily to secure the belt around KyungSoo. He reaches for it, and in the process he bumps the younger one and his head falls on his neck. The sleeping boy’s lips slightly brush the skin on his neck as he feels warm breaths. He dare not move for fear of waking the boy up. And maybe, just maybe, he’s enjoying this awkward situation. He then feels KyungSoo’s head lift from his nape and sees that SunWoo pulled the kids head back to the head rest. ChanYeol mouths a thank you as he disappointingly tucks KyungSoo’s seatbelt.

“What’s keeping you?” SunWoo starts as soon as they were on the road again.

“What was that hyung?” ChanYeol responds looking at SunWoo through the mirror. He notices that DoHee was still slumbering.

“KyungSoo.”

“What about KyungSoo, hyung?”

“I see the way you look at him. I’d be a daft not to notice the long stares and meaningful smiles the both of you exchange. So what’s keeping you from asking him out?”

“Hyung you’re embarrassing me. Anyway, we do go out sometimes.”

“Babo! I meant being boyfriends.” SunWoo clenches his fist and jokingly mocks ChanYeol with it.

“Oh, that.”

“Yes ChanYeol, that.”

“Well it’s sorta complicated.”

“Is it because of that BaekHyun boy?” SunWoo forces the conversation forward. ChanYeol remembers BaekHyun visiting him unannounced in the Bubble Tea House once before. It was good timing nonetheless as KyungSoo was out sick.

“What? No of course not. Why’d you even think that?”

“I’m a good observer than you give me credit for ChanYeol. I also saw how affectionate BaekHyun was towards you. Anyone with half an eye can see that.”

“We’re just friends. That’s it.”

“Friends with whom?” It was KyungSoo. He reels self-consciously from his sleep as he rubs his eyes. “Are we there yet?”

All of them laugh at the question as it takes them just a good twenty minutes before they arrive at their destination. All unanswered questions pushed back. Maybe there’s a better time for answers to be uncovered. Definitely a better time.

They finally reach the mountain trail, and all four friends excitedly fetch their things from the trunk as they admire the plush green mountain.

“Kiyah! I can’t wait to climb that and set up camp. Oh this is going to be fun! Campfire, ghost stories, the works!” DoHee was conversing with KyungSoo as they both unload their food ration. The two gentlemen took care of all their bags.

After a good four-hour trek, they finally reach the campsite situated halfway through the mountain and it was a natural plateau-like portion of it. Not a lot of people were interested in climbing the mountain that day so they found themselves having the site all to themselves.

“We guys will set up the tents while you girls get the food read—“

Thud.

KyungSoo threw a small water bottle at SunWoo. “Yah, KyungSoo! Is that anyway to treat your hyung? Anyway, like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, me and ChanYeol will set up the tent while you ladies prep the food.”

Thud.

Another water bottle came flying his direction. Everyone giggles as they merrily begin their tasks. DoHee and KyungSoo props small rocks in a circle as they use it as a make-shift stove. They start a fire and gaily cook the food that they brought while the tents stand looking sturdy and habitable.

It was six thirty in the evening when they finished their meal. They pack the food and tie it securely on a nearby branch. They cleaned themselves on the man-made area of the campsite that provided water and a small cubicle.

“BaekHyun loves campfires. He would normally be the first to sit in front of one holding onto a stick or a long branch with a marshmallow at the other end.” KyungSoo stares at the fire as it dances slowly to the soft wind that was feeding its ember. Something about it prevents him from looking ChanYeol in the eyes, instead he continues with the monologue he’s sharing with the elder, still absorbed with the yellow orange glow in front of them. “He always ended up burning them beyond edibility, I’d usually give him mine.”

“Soo, I know how you miss him so much. I told you several times I can talk to him for you.”

“No. That’s okay Yeoli. I just, I just remembered that,” he looks away at the campfire and stares directly into ChanYeol’s eyes. “I’m sorry, this was supposed to be a fun trip. Don’t mind me please.”

ChanYeol moves closer to KyungSoo. For the first time, he bravely puts his arms around the pale boy’s shoulders. He was initially sure that he will be pushed away, but instead he got no reaction. Being the taller one between the two of them, he used his hand to guide the smaller ones head to rest on his shoulders. Surprisingly again, he gets no protest as KyungSoo gets comfortable with their position. ChanYeol leans his head against the other boy’s as they both watch the campfire.

In the short five months that they’ve shared, they’ve learned a lot about each other. ChanYeol who would show his mega-watt smile at the smallest of things that would get his attention. This gangly person who would dance facetiously at any random song that would come from KyungSoo’s playlist.

And KyungSoo. KyungSoo who revelled in quiet mornings and coffee sips during odd times of the day. He who would hum songs randomly as he closes his eyes to feel the breeze against his face.

They couldn’t be more opposite, yet this could very well be what fascinated each other. Two contrasting individuals flattering and complimenting the void of the other. Imperfections, perfectly crafted to wheedle and frustrate the defied heartstrings of two boys who have been played by destiny most contemptible.

The night is tranquil as they further relax in each other’s brace. The moon let it’s brightness bathe both ChanYeol and KyungSoo. ChanYeol cautiously moves his hand that was supporting them and brushes it accidentally with KyungSoo’s. He stops and gulps almost as audibly as saying he wants to hold the others hand. KyungSoo’s pinkie twitches and before they know it, they were slowly entwining their fingers. The warmth and softness sends a familiar feel of light headedness as they lock their hands tightly. It’s as if they’re about to start a journey and each other’s hands are all they ever need to brave whatever unknown lie in front of them.

Why is this comfortable? Why does he always make me feel safe? Why ChanYeol, why?

“Well look what we have here,” comes SunWoo’s words from behind as he and DoHee join them at the campfire. The two guys were surprised that they sit down stiffly tearing away from the relaxed position they were in earlier, hands parting almost instantly. “Well, don’t let us disturb you,” SunWoo continues as he motions his hands, encouraging both of them to stay as they were.

“Took you long enough to return from the cubicle hyung,” KyungSoo retaliates while cocking an eyebrow. SunWoo laughs mutely as he looks at his girlfriend who looks like she was fuming. She hits him in his arm which elicits a small yelp from him.

“This boyfriend of mine found it amusing to scare me while I was in the bathroom! I swear I stayed inside the cubicle scared stiff even after he told me it was just him!” DoHee scoffs now hitting SunWoo’s shoulders repeatedly.

Everybody had a good laugh or two, and quite a few gasps and scare as they share stories of just about anything they could think of. They decide it was time to call it a night when they check their watches and see that it’s almost eleven in the evening. They had to wake up early tomorrow to catch the sunrise at the top of the mountain. They bid each other goodnight as they enter the two tents set up by pair, SunWoo and DoHee, and then ChanYeol and KyungSoo on the other.

“Yeoli, uhm can you go with me to the restroom? I just need to pee.”

“Sure Soo. Let’s go.”

KyungSoo finishes and thanks the other boy for accompanying him. They were on their way back when KyungSoo steps on something slippery. It was dark and they can’t really see that well. He loses his balance but ChanYeol is quick to catch him. KyungSoo was in front of him and he initially catches the other boy’s elbows as he wraps his arms around his waist to prevent him from falling down. But KyungSoo was an arms’ away from him so ChanYeol had to arch forward and he lost his balance as well.

The taller boy shifts his weight forward so he fell first and then KyungSoo drops on top of him. They were both on the ground, face to face.

“So—sorry,” KyungSoo cries as he tries to sit up. ChanYeol composes himself as he sits up with KyungSoo who is flushed as strawberries in front of him. He smiles endearingly as he studies how the younger boy seems to be struggling to shy away from the situation. KyungSoo slowly looks up to him with so much embarrassment, but strangely finds the courage to retain their eye contact.

Their eyes adjust to the darkness as they look at each other under the moonlight that was shining down on them. The forest was still as they lie there wordless for almost a minute, just studying each other’s faces.

They haven’t given any thought to it, but smiles formed as their faces move closer to each other. They didn’t know who initiated it nor did they care, but it just suddenly happened. Two quivering lips meet halfway, neither body moving, neither lungs breathing. Hearts racing to a familiar beat of what could only be joy and confusion. It must’ve been the sweetest thing they’ve ever tasted, so much that they didn’t even have to move their tongues.

Both lips move carefully, hesitating, memorizing. All their emotions started marrying with the first movement, eyes close at the second, and hearts give in at the third. At this point, everything around them stood mute witnesses to this raw yet wonderfully real moment. Of two people, who both ceded to a force greater than anything that they could ever deny, even to themselves.

It was a familiar wet and warm sensation that they both experienced with other people before, but this one stood out. It was the most honest and ardent kiss they’ve ever received, and it was the most passionate they’ve ever given. They let their inhibitions melt away with the first honest thing that they’ve shared since they formed their awkward friendship.

As they part, their lips linger in the air. Small gasps escape from both their thrilled mouths. They embrace one another, and maybe, just maybe, to the fact that they might be in love with each other already.

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