Chapter 1: oh my gad! The twist sa ending... LoL... I was like, the heck?

Taray ! Pero parang bitin .. Meron pa bang continuation ng story ? Excite much :3

Go Kuya! Louie Angelo Reyes. HANG TARAY ni DARA ahhh. ganun din ba sa story na to?

Chapter 1: Happy to be the to fire thefirst bullet. :3 The last part is a great twist of the plot. Seems this set would be a 3-5 minute prologue in a movie and damn, continue this asdfghjkl XD

Critism, as far as descriptive and narrative concept are concern, it's above average for me. Not too simple, not too wordy and difficult to visualize. :3