I N A M O R A T O

BaekHyun slowly opens his eyes to a deliciously orange small room. His lips curl faintly as he shuts his eye lids once again to seemingly revel in the moment. Not the one he’s in right now, but the one shared last night. Of hands and fingernails digging deep into skin and of flesh and sweat mixing with moans of pleasure and pain.

He assaults his eyes again with the morning sunshine as he lets his hands explore the smoothness of the tainted sheets under his small body. His arm brushes something warm and unmoving. He grazes at the sudden touch, expecting to be sensitized with a proverbial smile. He waits.

ChanYeol stirs to his direction, peers through half-lidded eyes, and smiles back.

“Good morning y.”

“Good morning too Baekkie.”

He kisses the boy in front of him and covers both of them with the crinkled duvet that only served to be pushed at the bottom of the bed last night. They start kissing and fondling each other’s unsheathed bodies until ChanYeol pulls BaekHyun to rest on his chest. He pushes the cover away to expose only their torsos.

The caramel hair of the tall boy seems to glisten as sunlight hits it. He rests his chin on the others crown as he runs his palms along the smooth skin that is BaekHyun. This definitely was the morning that they’ve been waiting for.

BaekHyun has been waiting for shadows and gaping at whispers for a long time now. ChanYeol’s been busy and this short break from work is what they really needed. What happened last night was what they most needed. He smiles at the recollection.

“I have to leave in an hour Baek.”

He answers him with a tight hug and an inaudible protest lost in the taut chest he’s foraged and nibbled several times.

“Stay.”

“You know I have work. I’m piled up to the hilt.”

But BaekHyun is privy to this work he’s referring to. Is he really leaving for work? Or leaving for someone else?

“Can’t we just stay like this for the whole day? We haven’t had time to spend like this.”

“Mmm baby, you know I have a lot of things to do.”

And by things to do, do you mean another person to do? BaekHyun whispers to himself. The delight that was daubed on his lips, slowly egress to a burning flame of jealousy.

“Let’s have breakfast at least.”

“Can’t, morning meeting.” ChanYeol softly pulls away and rests the other on the defiled pillow beside them and caresses his cheeks as if to appease that brewing uncomfortable conversation that might ensue. He cups the younger’s face and plants a sweet kiss on his lips.

BaekHyun rolls his eyes as he looks as the lanky boy make his way to the bathroom to clean himself of whatever remnants of passion he had on himself from last night’s tryst. Typical ChanYeol. Cleans himself thoroughly the morning after, suits up snappily and leaves the house as if his life depended on it.

Oh BaekHyun’s clued-up to all that’s going on. He knows that between him and work, there’s another person betwixt their relationship. A girl. He doesn’t know if he should scoff or be threatened. All he knows is that he’s been holding this in his heart for the longest time already.

Should he confront him now? Was this the day he finally puts his foot down and demand the exclusivity he deserves?

BaekHyun sits at the edge of the bed and languidly touches the carpeted floor with his bare foot. The other ensues as he stands up and searches for whatever scanty cloth he can drape his body with.

He inches near the bathroom as he holds his breath as if he’s about to commit a crime. His ear touches the door. He can hear ChanYeol speaking. It wasn’t a monologue.

“Yeah baby, work was hell last night. We had an all-nighter,” This heathen. “Uhuh, I’ll be there in an hour. I just need to freshen up. I smell like work.” You smell like a .

BaekHyun feels his head is swimming in adulterous outrage and thoughts most vile and impure. He wants to barge inside to announce to the person on the other line that ChanYeol wasn’t at work. That they probably had the best in the world last night and whatever she was in store for later is nothing but a mere effort to satiate her.

“I love you too Dara. See you in a bit baby.”

The bathroom door opens revealing a fully clothed ChanYeol looking snazzy as he did last night when he walked in the house. Only difference is he’s leaving this time, into the arms of another person.

“Hey Baek baby.”

How dare you call me baby when you call that Dara baby as well.

“I’ll be taking my leave now. Busy day ahead. I’ll call you later ‘kay?” ChanYeol hugs BaekHyun from the rear, the smaller guy is nonchalantly admiring the flowers on the modest garden bed outside the room. He drowns in a familiar manly scent as he feels wet lips touch his forehead.

“I love you Baek.”

The engine of the flashy red car revs up as its owner waves BaekHyun goodbye with a toothy smile that anyone could’ve mistaken to have come from someone innocent and devoted.

BaekHyun forces a smile back.

The car leaves traces of dust in its stead as he lay rooted to the door. His entire weight shifted to frame as he balls his fists and fights the growing despair in his heart. His lips quiver as it tastes something salty, something only his eyes could ever be so acquainted with.

He starts to sob and cry. He releases all the apprehension and anger that was building up since ChanYeol arrived last night, for he knew all too well that this morning would end like this. Bittersweet. He just wished that maybe this time, he’ll be a little braver and a bit more numb. After all, this clearly wasn’t the first time that this happened.

In fact, he knew what he was in for when he first met the other at a common friends’ party. Oh he could remember it like it was yesterday. ChanYeol looking like a Greek god towering almost everyone in the room and displaying that gorgeous unilateral dimple on his left cheek. How he was finally introduced to him by their common friend.

“Hey BaekHyun there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. I want you to meet ChanYeol, he’s my husband.”

BaekHyun extends his hand to shake ChanYeol's.

"Nice to finally meet you ChanYeol. You're wife Dara here, has told me so much about you."

Oh yes, BaekHyun knew it would be nothing but anguish and tears.