CHAPTER 21

U n b r i d l e d   E m o t i o n s  II

JongIn sat on the park swing with his feet almost parallel to the ground. He slowly sways his weight in hopes of amusing himself while waiting for someone.

“I hope you didn’t wait that long.”

He smiles upon hearing the familiar warm voice. He turns around and sees KyungSoo beaming at him. He looks radiant and well-rested for someone who just got out of work.

“Kyung-Kyung! I missed you!” JongIn stands up immediately and hugs the younger one. He closes his eyes as if embedding the moment in his memories. He takes in the strawberry scent he has not smelled for almost a week. His knees almost give in as KyungSoo returns his hug.

“I missed you too JongInah~.”

The two ate dinner together and just laughed at the most randomness of things that that the other had to share. JongIn shared a lot about his new friend Sehun who, according to him, had a speech problem. KyungSoo was quite relieved that JongIn had at least one other friend he can spend time with. That means he didn’t really have to suffer from incessant texts and calls asking him where he was, what he was doing, or when will they hang out. But in a way, he kind of misses all of these.

“So JongIn, where will go after this? You said you prepared something special.”

The elder boy just smirks at KyungSoo as they both resume finishing their meal.

After dinner, they make their way to a small hill a good few kilometres from the busy streets where they ate. It had a spectacular view of the city. The twinkling lights of the urban buildings make it seem like they are the night sky. The air is now turning to a cool breeze as JongIn and KyungSoo stand unheedingly against the railing. This is a perfect ending to a nice evening.

“I could never get tired at looking at something so wonderful.”

“Me too.” KyungSoo replies, referring to the breath taking sight in front of them.

“I meant you,” JongIn says endearingly as he let his knuckles run smoothly against the pale boy’s cheek. It blushes a cute shade of red. “You’re all too precious my Kyung-Kyung. Words fall short whenever I start to tell myself how incredibly special and wonderful you are to me.”

KyungSoo looks at JongIn in the eye with tenderness. The taller boy’s eyes were full of emotions and dare he say, love and affection towards him. It looks as if it was about to overflow.

“But all I can ever come up with telling myself is; you’re one of the nicest things that the world doesn’t have enough of. And I’m afraid that if I don’t hold on to you, someone might just see what I see in you and realize that they want you to be theirs.” JongIn holds KyungSoo’s hands but is staring at his feet. He bites his lips and continues.

“I just want to keep you for myself. I know I’m asking too much, but I want you to be by my side forever. Just like this.”

“JongInah~ are you, asking me to be your--” KyungSoo pulls away from the other boys grip.

“No. Note yet don’t worry,” He laughs nervously. “I told you I’ll wait until you can trust me enough to be able to be the one to ask instead. Until that time comes, I’ll always be here for you. Our start may not have been good at all Kyung, but I’m willing to open a brand new ending with you.” JongIn gets something from his pocket and gives it to KyungSoo.

“What is this?”

“Open it when you get home. Not here please.” JongIn smiles as he looks at the incredible scenery in front of them once again. KyungSoo does the same as he let the restful silence embrace them. He puts the small box that he was handed inside his pocket and squeezes it. He definitely wants to know what’s inside it.

--

BaekHyun and ChanYeol are quietly seated together. They’ve been like this for almost ten minutes. Somehow the faint smiles they exchanged earlier when they met weren’t enough to start any sort of conversation.

ChanYeol looks at the other and sees that his eyes are forlorn. BaekHyun is looking in the other direction as if he wanted to be somewhere else. He feels something clench at his gut, it might be his conscience.

“So—Baek. How have you been?”

“Fine.”

“Uh, great.”

Silence ensues once more as they look away from each other for another good five minutes. BaekHyun takes this opportunity to look at ChanYeol. He’s that same person whom he saw that fateful day the other ran him over with a bike; tall, charming, endearing, and handsome. It almost breaks his heart to be this close to him but never really have him.

“And you?”

“I’m fine as well Baekkie. Uhm listen, want to grab something to eat?”

“Nope. I’m not hungry.”

“Oh.”

“Yep.”

ChanYeol sinks bank to his seat as he tries to think of something to diffuse the growing awkwardness between them. He’s not used to this and quite frankly, it’s making him all types of uncomfortable.

“Isser something wrong Baekkie?”

“Waddya mean?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet, and you’ve been killing all my attempts at a conversation…”

“I told you, everything’s fine.”

“So why do I feel like it’s not?”

BaekHyun stops and seems like to be holding back something. He is faintly mulling over what seems like a very big decision he had to make. He lets out an audible sigh that sounded like he’s been holding it back for a while now.

“You’re right Channie. I just find it so hard to answer ‘What’s wrong’ when there’s definitely nothing right. I used to receive smiles, sweet morning greetings, and good nights from you. But right now, all I have is silence. Sure we meet but why do I feel like you’re not there? Like here with me, in this moment?”

“I’m not following you…” ChanYeol replies regrettably. BaekHyun scoffs, rolls his eyes and looks up at ChanYeol who is an arm away from where he’s sitting.

“I feel like I’m losing you. You don’t smile that incredible smile anymore. You seemed distracted everytime we meet up. I keep getting last minute cancellations and rain checks. I’m not fussing you okay? I’m not telling you to have your world revolve around me because I know I’m just your friend.” The words seem to inflict an emotional sore somewhere. BaekHyun doesn’t avert his gaze at the other while ChanYeol shifts uncomfortably. He decides to meet BaekHyun’s eyes and replies.

“I’ve just been preoccupied with a lot recently Baekkie. I’m sorry if you feel that way.”

“That’s exactly what’s bothering me. As far as I know I’m your only friend. So why not share it with me?”

“It’s nothing really, nothing to be worked up about.” ChanYeol breaks from the gaze and looks up instead. He sees a dark night whereas stars should’ve been littering the sky by now. They seemed to have hidden themselves, perhaps they’re privy to what’s about to happen.

“That day when KyungSoo got mad at me, I cried all night. I felt like I couldn’t breathe at all. I prayed so hard that the next morning, he’ll come see me at least and try to make up. But after waking up to nothing, that’s when I realized that that was the night he’ll never look back.”

“That’s when I realized,” BaekHyun continues. “It was the point in my life that I had to let go of him, be strong and just watch him leave. And-- I’m afraid to lose you as well Channie. We haven’t known each other that long but I’m so scared to be alone.”

“Baekkie, you’re worrying about nothing. Who told you I’m leaving. I’m just here. I told you, I was just busy. I’m sorry if I worked you up like this, I really am.” He moves closer to BaekHyun and guides the other’s head to rest on his shoulder. He gently runs his fingers through BaekHyun’s hair.

“I’m sorry for being like this. I just want some assurance that I’m not losing you as well. You’re all that I have.”

“I’m here Byun BaekHyun. I’m always here for you.”

“Thanks Channie, that means a lot to me.” He cuddles to the taller male’s side and imbibe in his delicious scent. Maybe that’s all he ever needed. And guarantee from the other that he’s there no matter what. And silently he prays that maybe someday as well, they’ll be more than what they are now.

“No worries Baekkie, I’ll always be your friend.”

--

JongIn and KyungSoo stands awkwardly in front of the dorm. The younger pushes JongIn away and tells him to go home already.

“It’s late JongInah~, you better go home. Thanks for a really nice evening. I had fun.”

“I had fun doing it with you Kyung. I hope we always have times like these.”

“We will, don’t worry.” KyungSoo bites his lower lip upon saying this. He used to live for days when JongIn would be sweet and mushy, but something inside of him was telling him something isn’t right. That something has changed. He looks down the ground as if guilty about something he isn’t sure of.

“I love you Do KyungSoo.”

********************************

So I just literally came back from the beach.

Had fun fun fun.

Anyway, how's the chapter?

I feel sorry for BaekHyun, friendzoned yet again.

But Kai is the one I'm most worried about.

And that is what you should look forward to in the next chapters.

kkk~

I'm excited and scared at the same time.

Anyhoo enjoy the summer guys.

Oh BTW my birthday is on the 29th of April.

Do send me Ssarang sarang sarang~

Love you all! :)