40장
IronyThe hood on my gym class uniform made for a good cover up as I walked home after cleaning my face off in the girls’ bathroom. Though most people out were wearing fewer clothes and enjoying the warmer weather, I had the jacket pulled tight around me, keeping my head down as I walked. Even when I arrived home, I only kicked my shoes off and went straight upstairs to my bedroom. The very last thing I wanted in that moment was to have someone see me in that state.
Red swollen eyes, pale face, puffy nose: that was all I saw when I caught sight of myself in my mirror as I marched across my room. For a moment, I considered throwing the thing out as it was too much to look at myself lately. But then I harshly ripped the hood off my head and burst into a round a tears that I had been holding since I left the school. I quickly locked my door before anyone could barge in, though I doubted anyone would.
Indeed, the thought of telling my parents and insisting something be done had crossed my mind. It continuously bothered me, in fact. But by that point, I saw no reason. It was all over; there wasn’t much more they really do and the only proof there was of who actually chopped off my hair was in the hands of Luhan. There were so many ways to bust them and have justice brought. But what good would it do? Would my hair magically grow back? Would I have friends backing me up? Would emotional damage that I had be gone? Would I then be able to look in a mirror without seeing every fat pudge on my body?
No.
And because of that, I felt that telling my parents would be utterly and completely useless.
Besides, tattling was the least of my worries right then. There was no way I would be able to skip school the next day and there was also no way to get to a salon and have my hair fixed by then either. But those were two things I only realized when I woke up from a restless sleep the next morning and it dawned on me that my hair was just as awful as the night before.
“Yah, Choi Eunhui! Stop hogging the bathroom!” Jaeeun hollered in the hallway as, for once, I was awake before her and taking up the bathroom.
But instead of taking forever to do my makeup and all that, I was simply standing in front of the mirror, staring idly at the unevenly-cut strands of hair hanging just to my chin. To avoid having puffy eyes all day, I held in the tears that wished to strangle me, and pulled the black beanie over my hair. Although I was fairly certain I would be called out for it by wearing my uniform incorrectly, I was beyond caring and only unlocked the bathroom door to leave. Jaeeun scuttled by, grumbling under her breath about how she was going to be late and then slammed the door behind her.
I managed to make it out the front door without seeing my mom and therefore avoiding all questions of why I was wearing a hat, the questions my sister was too grouchy to have cross her mind. Not long after did I arrive at school, instantaneously deciding to go in through the back entrance and bypass walking through the whole school to get to my locker. Pitifully hoping they would leave before I got there, I lingered outside a bit longer than usual and only went in when the warning bell came. I unintentionally felt a blaze of anger surge through me when I saw Kim Taehyung there getting his books; across from him, Kim Jongin was also grabbing the last of his things. I seethed, but kept it all to myself and went to my locker.
“Hey, you disappeared yesterday,” Taehyung said, noticing me there.
I inhaled and exhaled, biting my tongue. I feared that one word and I would burst. There, it clicked, that maybe he was in on it: helping them butter me up for the bake. I must’ve been so suspicious of Jimin that I didn’t stop to think of Taehyung having any more motives, even though I had and I brushed it off as paranoia.
Without speaking a word, I grabbed my books and left. I had no desire to talk or look anyone. As always, some people had other plans.
“Choi Eunhui, please read paragraph twelve to the class,” Mr. Jung instructed, turning to write something on the board.
Like a bunch of robots, everyone’s head shot in my direction. I grimaced even though they in no way knew of what things happened the day before. Having no choice, I stood and pretended twenty pairs of eyes weren’t staring at me.
I was halfway through a paragraph about the rebuilding of Korea after the Korean war when the teacher interrupted me.
“Choi Eunhui, take that hat off.”
I froze, my grip on the book in my hands going slack. “W-What?” I asked, gulping. Even though I had expected such a thing to happen, I wasn't prepared.
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