If I had thought the aching inside me was bad when I stood in front of Sehun, then it was entirely awful when I no longer stood in front of him and instead faced an empty school yard with nothing but my thoughts alone.

I was about to head for the bus stop but I ended up stopping at the school gates. Closing my eyes as I leaned against the brick wall, the only thing I could see behind my eyelids was Sehun’s expression when I told him to leave me alone. The guilt was strangling me, telling me: turn around, go back to him, help him! I wanted to go back inside and try to fix everything but the small voice in my head was overpowering the loudest one.

Think of yourself for once. You’ve done all you can do. It’s his family and his problems. Not yours.

It was a sickening feeling right behind my ribs, pushing me and telling me to go back. All I did was break down in tears, unable to go back or leave. I couldn’t remember any time when I had cried like that before; I just couldn’t control it and before long I was sitting on the ground.

“Miss, do you have a permission slip to be out here?” The security guard appeared above me.

With a short gasp, I looked up through blurred vision. “I’m s-sorry?” I tried to get myself together.

“Class is about to resume. You need to get back inside,” he ordered, pointing to the gate.

In an instant, I scrambled off the ground and shook my head. I wasn’t going back in there, not because of Sehun, but because of what had happened in the canteen. Everyone had seen that picture of me covered in what looked to be clown makeup and my hair chopped at odd angles. There was no way I was going back.

“I don’t feel well. I need to call my mom,” I fibbed, wiping the back of my hand across my face.

The security pursed his lips, wrinkles appearing in his creased forehead. “Fine. But you need to inform the office,” he replied before slipping back inside the gate.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I thanked God I had my phone with me and dialed my mom’s number. After five desperate rings, she picked up.

“Mom?” I spoke softly, trying to sound like I was okay.

“Eunhui? Is everything okay?” She sounded nonchalant, only wondering why I was calling her out of nowhere.

I shook my head even though no one could see and choked out a sob. “Can you come get me?” I managed to get out before gasping in air for another round of sobs.

“Eunhui? What’s going on?” Mom sounded panicked now.

I cried even more at the concern in her voice. “Please come get me, Mom, please,” I begged her, pleading with my lungs to get me air.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“No!” I wailed. “Just come get me, please!”

I heard movement in the background. “Okay, okay. You’re still at school, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, calm down. I’m coming, I’ll be there in a few minutes,” she told me before hanging up.

I was able to gather myself enough to speak properly when she arrived and I told her I would explain if she would just check me out from the office and take me home. She complied and left me in the car while she went inside.

I was fiddling with the radio, trying to find some loud pop station to overpower my train of thought when the door nearest to the parking lot swung open and dumped two people out into the hot summer weather. I automatically sank low in my seat, hitting mute on the radio as I watched Luhan stomp towards his car. He was fuming, face set in a scowl and hair all messed up. After a few seconds of watching him, it dawned on me that the hand raised to his face wasn’t for scratching but more like wiping at draining blood.

Walking behind him was Kim Minseok, who was talking to him, but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying due to the distance. He looked to be trying to calm Luhan with his soft hand movements, but his friend only rounded on him and shouted. I caught something about a friend and maybe deserved it and Minseok faltered, shaking his head. A silence passed between them as Luhan wiped more blood off of his chin. When he moved his hand, I could tell his bottom lip was busted badly.

Finally, Minseok waved his hands as if to rid himself of the whole thing and walked away. Luhan looked murderous for a good ten seconds before throwing his car door open and getting inside. I was too busy watching him spin his tires on the pavement as he left to realize Minseok had noticed me peeking over the car window. I froze and he did too when we made eye contact. I thought I was about to get a lecture from him too but he only sighed and went back inside the school.

A moment later, my mom came back out the same door and got back in the car.

“Okay, what happened?” she asked, starting the engine.

I pretended to be more interested in the radio. My initial round of emotions had cleared and now I just had a headache, a stuffy nose, and I felt exhausted. What I wanted was to lie down and try to nap it off, not talk about my feelings or Sehun. Or both.

Mom didn’t protest and focused on driving while I continued my search for a good station. I ended up muting it at the second red light when I landed on a classic rock one. I was just not having a good day at all.

When we finally arrived home, however, Mom started again.

“You told me you would explain, Eunhui,” she said as we got out of the car. “I feel like you’re lying to me all