9. A trip down memory lane

 

"Yah! Since when have you called me gē ge? Ever?" he says then skips toward me and hugs me.

 

"How have you been Ren Ming?" he asks.

 

The others were gaping at us and I noticed Kai the most- his eyes were wide in shock, mouth opening and closing looking like a fish out of water. Lu Han also notices and introduces me.

 

"This is Liu Kai Ren Ming, commonly known now as Liu Ren- it seems- and she's my child hood friend." after he said that the others start to bob their heads up and down, seemingly realizing something.

 

"So... You're the famous Ren, hi I'm Chanyeol." A guy with a lot of teeth and a nice smile said, bowing. I bow too and they all started to introduce themselves. All of them memorable- most probably because of the way they introduced themselves.

 

There was Tao, the guy who has big dark circles under his eyes (it was innate, that's what he told me); Baekhyun, he's in-charge of the eyeliner and the eye smile (whatever that means); Minseok, he looks kind of like a bun; Junmyeon, k's leader and the most gentleman of the bunch;  Lay, the unicorn healer; Kyungsoo, the Pororo cook; Chen, the professional troller; Sehun, the semi-spoiled maknae; Kris, the Canadian-Chinese giant also the leader of M.

 

We eat out and instead of catching up Lu Han can't seem to stop telling them about the past -our past- to be exact.

 

"She was this weird half breed. She had such a long name -which was unusual- and I used to call her Kai Ren but now... I can't call her that, it'll seem weird. Anyway, she didn't have that much friends and we grew close. So comfortable. I know her better than I know myself." he said, looking at me.

 

"Come on; stop saying things in the past." I say trying to change the topic.

 

"Why? Are you shy?" Lu Han asks and I just shake my head.

 

"Lu Han Hyung isn't this talkative, you're like a switch." Sehun said and Lu Han glared at him.

 

"I just missed her that's all. Oh and you forgot about your birthday again didn't you?" he asks and they all go silent-even me. Oh yeah... April 8 is my birthday and it's already May 16.

 

"Oh.. Yeah, I didn't remember." I said.

 

"You didn't even tell me even though we were together." Kai complains and I offer a weak smile, I was about to explain when Lu Han did it for me.

 

"Don't worry it's normal, This girl never remembered her birthday even when we were little. So I always remind her." he says, ruffling my hair.

 

After an hour or so we decided to call it a day.

 

"Let's go." Kai says, grabbing my hand since it was habit for him to walk me back but then Lu Han grabs my other hand which surprises the both of us.

 

"Don't worry, I'm here. You can just go on ahead. I'll walk her back." he tells Kai, the tension rises and for a moment I thought they were going to fight but then Kai smiles and kisses me on the cheek -which already became normal- then tells me.

"See you tomorrow Ren."

 

It was a little awkward to walk with Lu Han since we haven't seen or talked to each other for so long but he didn't seem to see it that way.

 

"Why are you going to see each other tomorrow?" he asks while we walked.

 

"Oh you know, tomorrow they'll already post the video. They've already released articles about my debut and Kai along with my YG family helped spread the news. Since I'm really nervous he'll be with me until midnight to check the views." I shrug. We've planned this two weeks before the shooting.

 

"What happened? Why do you seem so different?" he suddenly asks and I stop. Huh?

 

"I'm not different. This is just really surreal, I thought I'd never get to see you again and yet here we are. I'm just shocked I guess." I answer, skipping to catch up with him.

 

We arrive and I really wanted to be alone. I wanted to wrap my head around what has happened today and I can't do that if he's here with me.

 

"So Uhm, thanks lu lu." I say and bow.

 

"Call me the way you used to, I don't really care." he answers and I smile.

 

"Fine. Good Night wài xīng lu." I say, sticking my tongue out. I used to call him wài xīng lu because he's an alien deer, he smiles and waves.

 

"Good Night tiānshĭ." I blush. He's called tiānshĭ ever since we met. I don't really know why since not a part of me resembles an angel.

 

I wash up and lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the past.

 

Like what Lu Han said, I'm a half breed. I'm not a pure Chinese -unlike most of them- and that's the reason why I had such a long name. I'm 3 years younger than him so we weren't on the same grade, I was accelerated a year though which made it seem like he's only 2 years older. I only had one friend, my best friend, and I was often alone. I would just sit on a swing and sing, I would often cry since other kids would tease me about my name but then one day a guy who looked like a deer and some sort of other specie came to talk to me, even though I couldn't explain how he looked like i knew he was beautiful.

 

His name is Lu Han and I know it seemed rude but I pointed to him and shouted "Wài xīng" instead of leaving he laughed and sat beside me. Since then he would always come and talk to me, that's when I knew that we were neighbors and our parents were friends. We became close, he'd always come to our house and we'd play. The other kids called us the beauty and the beast. Me being the beast and him the beauty. I would always cry and I'd tell him that he should just stop being friends with me since he was also being bullied but he'd just smile and tell me little thing, things that would comfort me, things that would make my tears stop. My personal favorite was this.

 

"Don't listen to them. They don't know what they're missing, you're my tīan shî, my angel and I'm never going to leave you even if we're separated by distance. I'd still find a way to contact you." but then he didn't fulfill his promise.

 

He was my first love, I never got to 'get over' him and now that I saw him again I don't know how to feel especially since I like Kai. Besides, when I was young I always thought that we were never possible since he would always see me as a child, a kid and nothing more so what's the difference? He's still 3 years older than me.

 

I roll over and stop when I see the music box he gave me when I was only 6 years old. He's right I always forgot my birthday and he'd always remember it. That year I told him that I wanted to learn ballet but didn't have the funds for it so when my birthday came he surprised me by giving me a music box with a ballerina that spun along with the music.

 

"I know you'll reach your dreams. I believe in you and when you do reach it I'll be beside you." that's what he wrote on the card he gave me an even though there' s no more music coming out of the box I still put in on my bed side table.

 

A tear rolls down on my cheek. He said he'd never leave me and back then I believed it. When we migrated to the philippines Lu Han and I would always Skype. It was very hard but we didn't care, we were always tired but we managed. It just stopped when he went to Korea. He told me he'd be going to Korea to study the language and the first few nights we still skyped but then suddenly it stopped. He didn't go online, he stopped replying to my weibos and I took the hint, I stopped trying but now... He's here again.

 

I sigh and slap myself. Lu Han doesn't feel anything for me, he never did. I need to move on and give myself a chance to be happy. Just then Kai's imitation of Krong lights my phone up and I smile. It's his special tone.

 

"Are you asleep? If not then go to sleep, we have an early start tomorrow. Don't forget the carton of banana milk I left in your fridge, I'm broke from always treating you so if you forget it no banana milk for tomorrow. Good night my butterfly. :P" I feel my cheeks warm, it's been habit to text each other when we wake up and before we sleep. Reminding each other of things we need to remember -more of him reminding me though.

 

I've made a decision. I'm going to give myself a chance at happiness. My feelings for Lu Han belong in the past and the present is more valuable.

 

I like Kai and I'm not going to let my fear eat me up.

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I enjoyed writing this chapter. :') hope you enjoyed reading as well. :))

xoxoxo Kyon Seul