Chapter 15: With Luck

 

**Lu Han's POV

 

I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. I don't know the exact reason why we grew apart; it may be because of my hectic schedule during the first week of training - something I haven't explained yet, in her eyes it may seem like I just disappeared into thin air, something I promised I would never do. It may seem like our relationship was nothing; we were kids after all but for me it never was nothing.

 

I still remember the first time I saw her; her long dark hair, her eyes that seemed to hold a thousand or maybe even a million secrets and her smile that drew me in even more. I helped her in any way that I could, I'm older than her but that didn't stop me. She was often bullied and I didn't want to portray a brotherly figure but I couldn't do anything about that. I don't want her to get hurt so I protected her.

 

I was dumb; my fear got the best of me. My fear that she only saw me as an older brother, that maybe she didn't see me the way I see her, that what we have would be ruined if I told her about how I feel. I didn't want to do anything that could make her go away, I didn't want to risk it but now I know that I can't watch her with someone else even if it's someone I'm close to, even if it's Jongin.

 

She's changed, I'm sure but I'm also positive that the Ren I know is still a part of her besides I can always get to know her again. This may seem selfish but I want her to know that everything I'd done up till now, a part of it was always for her and even though she told me that she has feelings for Jongin, I know that she still has feelings for me too.

 

I sigh as I bury my face in my hands. This should never have happened if I only told her the truth before. I sigh again.

 

“Woah there, you sound like you carry the world on your shoulders.”

 

I abruptly look up at the source of the sound and I see Kris standing, looking at me, his eyes filled with concern or pity. I don’t really know. He sits beside me then after a few moments he talks.

 

“Found yourself in a bit of a bind I see. If you ask me this looks like trouble.” He says nonchalantly.

 

I thought about not responding, but what would that change? I could think of this over and over again and I would only be chasing myself.

 

“Yeah. I just never thought this would happen. I never really even thought that she would be in this industry. I mean I knew she loved dancing but her parents always wanted her to be a doctor and I just thought that she would be a doctor. I never even really thought that we would see each other again. I just kept sending gifts because I felt guilty. Guilty that I never told her what happened, I just disappeared. Something I promised her I would never do.” I chuckle. “Maybe this is my karma, maybe this is the world telling me that I already had my chance with her and I just wasted it.” I shake my head.

 

Kris just pats me on the back.

 

“Yeah maybe you can say that or maybe you can look at it as another chance too. Maybe she did change but so did you and maybe she does like Kai now, but at least you can tell yourself that you tried. At least you if it doesn’t work out you can move on with no regrets.” He looks at me for a moment then smiles. He stands up and stretches.

 

“Well, that’s more than enough advice for today. I’m going to sleep now and I suggest you do the same.” He tells me and I just nod.

 

He was right. I may have wasted my chance before but it doesn’t mean that I need to waste this chance too. I might not be the she likes now but I can surely try to win her back and if it doesn’t work out then at least I can rest easy knowing that I tried my very best before letting her go.

 

I make my way to my room with a smile on my face. This is the start of my second chance. I will treat like her like how I should’ve treated her long before this day and with any luck, she might just like me back.

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Hiii guysss!! I am so very very sorry for the late update! It's been such a hectice time. I hope you like this one. Please comment, like and subscribe!

xoxoxo Kyon Seul