Chapter 13: Advice

 

Yesterday confused me the most. Lu Han was supposed to be my past, my lesson learned and yet he's here, in my present while Kai... He never came back. I didn't sleep until I received a text from him; even if it's only to say that he's about to sleep but it never came so I didn't sleep a wink.

 

Someone knocks on my door and I immediately jump up, check myself on the mirror and open it with excitement. It might be Jongin but to my disappointment it wasn't.

 

"Expecting someone else?" Dara asks, letting herself in and sitting on the couch. "I've been meaning to ask you something..." she starts, fidgeting. I raise an eyebrow, she never fidgets.

 

"Between Kai and Lu Han, who do you like better?" she asks, eyes fixed on mine. I couldn't speak, her question stunned me just as much as the realization that I didn't know the answer.

 

"You don't know huh?" she finally says, after a few minutes of agonizing silence. I shake my head and she taps the space beside her. I sit down and she starts to my hair.

 

"You should think about it because as far as I can see, they're both lost in your maze but how can you know which one comes out if even you, yourself, is lost in your own maze? The fans won't help, you're also in the industry and I think it's time for me to tell you something. You've already gained popularity, even if the music video was just released yesterday but people are quick to judge and if the fans notice that something's up between you and any guy they'll be harsh. It's hard to make a comeback when people already have a bad perception about you. I'm not saying that you should choose now but you should at least know who you'll pick when the time calls for it. You can't hold on to them both. I never said being an Idol is easy; we are stripped of privileges other people aren't. We can't just date anyone we want and we can never have the privacy others have. You should act as if people are always there because you might regret it if you don't. " She finishes, smiling.

 

After what she said we just watch some TV and stall time. What she said never really left my mind so when she left I thought about it.

 

She noticed, did the others do to? I know I'm stupid for letting my feelings get the better of me and it might even seem as if I'm only enjoying what they're both offering me when in truth, I'm not. I've been asking myself the same question Dara asked me but I can never reach an actual answer and it's starting to eat me up.

 

*Beep* I take a swipe at my phone, it's a message from Lu Han.

 

“You should come over.” my eyes widen and I reply.

 

“Why? Did something happen? I'm not sure, I don't even know how to get there.” a few minutes later it beeps again.

 

“I'm already waiting downstairs.” I jump in surprise. Mwo?

 

I quickly dress myself up -I made sure no one would recognize me (hoodie, sweatpants, cap and shoes)- check myself in the mirror for one last time and go down. He really was there but he wasn't smiling.

 

"Let's go." he said, dragging me to the van.

 

"Hey, what happened?" I ask, shaking him.

 

"It's Kai" was all that left his lips.

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I know I've been really bad to you all so here's another chapter. Think of it as a peace offering as well as an apology. Hope you like it!! Also, please don't forget to comment subscribe and to add me!!

xoxoxo Kyon Seul