Chapter 12
If This Is LoveThis is Love
There are moments when he would let me think that he likes me back.
More than a friend should. The same way as I would..
I passingly opened my eyes; first to glance at my hand that was holding his wrist then secondly shifted my gaze at him-- directly into his eyes
"Are you messing with me?" I asked him.
I think he looked near to crying and he recoiled his wrist away but I tighten my grip that even made him frown, it's probably hurting, oh, was it a little too much?
Baekhyun went out from Sehun and Suho-hyung's room and headed here. Morelike, I waited for Baekhyun to went here. 'cause I'm bluntly assuming that he's looking for me. And so, I pretended to sleep. I hated myself for being unable to control my grin when I was hearing his steps closer to me.
When I felt he was now standing next to the coach and sat beside where I'm at, it was so high-stringing that my heart might stop beating. Suddenly I think I was unable to breath. That was probably why he was convinced that I'm indeed asleep. Was he? ...or was he not? Perhaps he knew I was faking it but still went on to confuse me more. I felt his fingers drew closer on my face until it touched... Baekhyun was touching me.
Does he even know what he's doing?! He must me messing up with me!
"You told me not to touch you..." I continued as I sit up to face him properly. And because it's dark, I can't clearly see his face.
"You..."
His face heated totally red. And his pulse, I can feel it from his wrist increasing rapidly. I know it's idiotic for me to think like this but doesn't it seem like he likes me?...
"Do you like me?" I asked.
He quivered. His eyes widen and he only gave short "Eh?" for an answer.
"Ah. I... Chanyeol-ah..."
"Forget it." I cut in and let go of his wrist. I laid my back on the coach once more and shifted away from him.
Forget it. It must be nice to hear him say he does; but what if it's not the case? My heart is not ready to be crushed wantonly.
I felt him inhaled hugely to be followed by letting it all out with a long sigh but I didn't bother to respond.
"Chanyeol-ah..." he started. His voice cracked at the end. "... I... I honestly like you..." he continued. Soon I felt my heart trembling a little if not too hard.
"Please don't turn this way." He added as I was about to face him. "I don't think I can say what I wanted to say when I'm facing you..."
"...I really like you but the 'like' that you mean to me and the 'like' I'm feeling for you; their level is different. That's why I'm scared Chanyeol-ah... Is it possible if we would just stay the way we are like before?" he asked.
He waited for a while though he knows I won't say anything in return. He fixed my blanket on me before he went directly back to his room. "Don't catch cold."
Baekhyun is plainly wicked to me. What does he want me to do after saying he likes me? He is sly. Cunning. And unfair.
Sehun kicks the laundry basket. Aish. What the hell?! Throwing a fist this early morning. Other members can't do anything about it when he's like that. He's kinda close-minded. And we just let him be like that... he's the maknae after all.
He has been swearing words in the air since this morning. Baekhyun was about to confront him but Suho-hyung tapped his shoulder and told him not to. Then they all headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Leaving Sehun and I in the living room.
Considering how we really are the first ones to join the company and became trainees; and also because he seems frustrated about something, I can't help but ask, "What happened?" Knowing he would just snob me, I still asked him anyway.
Argh. Times like this when I badly want Luhan-hyung to be here. Only he can calm Sehun--- Oh freakin' wait! Much as only hyung can calm our maknae down; it's also only hyung that can cause Sehun rage like this... geez... better stay out of this already.
"Luhan posted another pic with Minseok-hyung again." Sehun started to share.
He calls hyung 'Luhan'... only he is allowed to call hyung so casually... err-- not really sure, other younger members haven't tried calling Lu-hyung with only his name yet.
"I definitely told him I get jealous easily. This is why I'm getting sick of this vague relationship! Without having any commitment is driving me nuts!" He continued before finally heading to the kitchen to drink some water.
Men, that was scary~ the reason I never wanted to be hooked up with Luhan hyung. What was Minseok-hyung thinking?! And I'm amaze Sehun can think of those kinds of things. Let alone utter those kinds of words. Our maknae has really grown up. He's probably more mature than me. I wish I could be like him too. Being able to say his thoughts without hesitation and face his feelings without holding back.
There goes Baekhyun playing with me again. Sheepishly smiling at me, even winking. And linking his arms to me;
how come you ask? Because currently, we're in the fansigning event. And ofcourse, ChanBaek is in the house yo! We're all aware of the pairings. I even have fun reading ChanBaek accounts in the fansites. And if you're asking me which pair I ship the most, I would still answer: SeLu ;)
"Oppa, please sign~" This cute high school girl hands me her post card of Baekhyun for me to sign.
This was the... my, how many Baekhyun's postcards have I signed already this day?
When only the K-members are present in the event, fans root for ChanBaek-- only because SeLu aren't together. I still don't get why they won't tease KaiDo when they've started going out in public... or is what I thought. The two of them are being affectionate with each other lately.
"Chanyeol? Of course I love him!" Baekhyun said out loud then turned to me and smiles.
See? He is good in making fans squeal. No wonder he has the most fans among us; he love giving much fan service.
Next thing he'll do is to take my hand.
'told yah so.
There he goes grabbing my hand and smirking like he won.
But all of these are for the show.
After a small talk with fans, Baek and D.O goes to center stage to sing our prologue song.
Exiting through the backstage is just one of the obstacle courses whenever we attend events like this. It's not really new to everyone that most of our fans are sasaengs.
We never dislike them even a bit because as what Suho-hyung would always tell in interviews, they're just like that because of their love for us. And we sincerely appreciate the effort and affection.
But times like this when they're a lil bit wilder than the usual that it scares the hell out of our other members particularly Sehun and Kyungsoo. And it's just like a standard operating procedure, that I will go behind Baekhyun, hold his arms, and guide him until we reach inside our car.
I leaned my back on the wall of the university gates. This school uniform looks extra good with me. Oh... curious aren't you?~ We're currently in the middle of shooting one of our first cf!
Yah yah yah~ aren't we much closer to being an idol already? Hehehe, never thought we'd have cf offers not long after we get to debut. It really feels refreshing. Well, doing something different from practicing, live shows, or fan signing is really refreshing. Much more when it's like this school-themed! I'm really getting hyped up!
"Yah, what are you doing? Taking a selca when you're not even wearing the uniform properly yet." Suho hyung said as he sits next to me.
Oh. Now that he mentioned it. It's true. I haven't even fixed my tie yet... who am I waiting for to fix it for me anyway? All the stylist noona are already busy preparing our hair and make-up. And I can't wait for Baekhyun to fix this for me anymore... Aish.
"What are you sulking for?" Crap! I forgot Suho hyung is beside me!
"Judging from the things between you and Baekhyun, you guys haven't made up yet?"
Uh-oh. Hyung starts off again.
Lemme tell you something interesting about this hyung. He enjoys driving me to the corner and grilling me. I mean, I don't get why he's so protective with Sehun, kind to Baekhyun, or gentle to Tao; but when it comes to me, he's pretty harsh and direct. Well, he's like that to Kris hyung too but in a different sense-- he finds joy teasing Kris-hyung and I symphatize with hyung at that. Oh, but Suho hyung cuddles him after making fun of him to compensate... not bad at all right?
And going back, he won't just settle with just one question, he won't stop til he gets to see me totally cooked or fried or whatever just for him to be satisfied.
"Hyung, why is it me that you're asking? Shouldn't you ask the other person instead?"
"I'm asking you because I know the problem here is YOU, brat"
Excuse me, say what?!
"B-brat? Geez, there you go again; is Baekhyun your bias or what?"
"Nothing like that. And besides Tao is my bias"
"Right! So why are you automatically taking Baekhyun's side?"
"Like I told you, Baekhyun might be stubborn so he's a bit hard to deal with but nothing beats a chicken brain like yours... he'll never get to understand you til you speak to him properly." Suho hyung explained while he fixes my tie and I just can't help but hug this adorable leader.
"Yah! What do you think you're doing?!"
"Planning to eat your human brain. He he he"
"Creepy~"
I gulped once. Wishing not a single sweat would drop from my face.
Afterall, the cream on my face might smudge... my make-up might messed up... and Baekhyun might notice it right away.
He is just one centimeter away from me.
He is fixing my just-got-curled hair for the filming with his eyes focused on it-- never meeting mine even he's too close.
"Yah, stay put for a while.." He softly demanded, making me gulp once more.
"Baekhyun-ssi loves taking care of Chanyeol-ssi" one of the coordi-noona commented in the background.
Baekhyun just sheepishly smiles as he turns to face the camera and answer, "Right?"
Making all the fangirls in the set blush a tint of red. Geez, What's with him working so hard for the BTS shots. Argh, it's not like I'm blushing too!
I put my blazer on my side and lay rested on the grass under the tree beside the school building. Photoshoot has just ended and I seriously feel dehydrated.
"Yah, atleast botton your shirt. There are some fans over there." Suho hyung said. I looked at him and he just sits beside me.
"Geez, don't be so uptight hyung. I really feel toasted by the sun... Are you sure it's still spring?" I complained a little.
"Sure it's spring. Just that, summer will be very soon."
"Man, they should've just let us wear the summer set of uniform instead."
"Yah! Instead of lazing around here, why not take a look at these-- I managed to get some (pictures)" Hyung puts down the pictures taken just moment ago with a wide smile
"Whoa, not bad." I commented soon as I saw them.
"I must say, they have also taken a bit of us when you teasingly hugged me before! Look look!" Hyung said almost complaining.
"Wow! daebak~ scoop scoop!" hehehe really it was like a work of paparazzi. But not a second til the others on the background of the pic caught my eye. One of them is looking at us with concern. It's Baekhyun.
And before I could order my mind to stop thinking overboard, random, out-of-galaxy things, a thought that perhaps he's jealous already popped out of nowhere. Geez, when it comes to these stuffs, my mind is amazingly fast.
I scoured the other pictures to caught Baekhyun stealing glances on me at some shots.
He really knows how to drive me nuts. I excused myself from Suho hyung and went to places where he might be. Gym. Cafe house. Washroom. Until I went to the function room made into our dressing/ make-up room.
When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Baekhyun there. He was as surprised as I am if I may say. I told myself that the next time I met him, I would honestly tell him that I love him.
"Looking for something?" He asked looking at me through the mirror.
"Ah. Yeah. Perhaps have you seen Suho-hyung?" Argh. Here I said I'll tell him...
"Oh, he's not here...?" He answered while putting down his make-up remover.
"I see... what are you doing here? We'll be returning back home soon"
"Ah. Just removing excess eye make-up. This eye-liner is no joke..."
"Looks like it..." Is not really what I wanted to say. I closed the door back and had my back leaning on it.
Baekhyun flinched a little before turning from his seat to face me. For a while. He placed his both arms on the back part of the seat and rested his chin. He took a good look at me before fixing his gaze down the floor.
"Baek..." I started.
But before I could even continue, he already say,
"Jeowahe."
It was totally uncalled for. Definitely out of the blue. And seriously a fatal blow.
"Eh?" I asked for I think I heard him say something just now.
"Ani... saranghae...?" He tilted his head as if asking himself the question
"Baekhyun ah..." It made me stand straight; away from leaning my back on the wall
"Sarang na ba yo..." He repeated. Still looking down on the floor.
"I mean I must have like you a lot that it's making me cry..."
I decided to walk towards him. Closer to him. If he can't face me on his own, I'll be the one to deal with it somehow.
He continues, "It was just a simple liking before but I got nervous, joyful, excited, and hopeful... it's carving deep inside me... It's painful to be with you yet I miss you already not long after I've seen you. I--"
He turned up to look at me but I captured his lips with mine instead.
Please tell me everything in your kiss instead. I'll gladly accept you.
We parted our lips after a while. I stared directly at his eyes-- there were bud of tear forming from its corner. I wiped it with my finger and cupped his cheek. I smiled as I ask, "What else?"
His mouth gaped a little and he remained silent for a while. Finally, he sighed and gave a sweet smile to me. "What else...? Hmm..." He repeated my question and he shifted closer and whispers to my ear,
"I wanted you to do a lot of things with me."
"Eh?... ah... that... errr..." I was aware I'm blushing bloody red right now; To think I got completely defeated by him with just one whisper, oh man.
I hear him start to giggle-- no, laugh. Baekhyun can't just giggle, he always laugh (out loud).
"Yah!" I protested.
"Wae? What are you thinking Chanyeol-ah? What kind of things are running in your mind right now?" He teased more
"You really are..."
Baekhyun smiled and locks his arms around my neck, "I mean you could start having a duet performance with me, or eat jjajamyun together, watch a movie late at night or go to seaside..."
What is love? Is it when you saw that person and everything starts to get into slow motion? Or having a day feel like just a minute when you're with him?
It can be like the movies you've seen on TV; the happily ever after ending like in the fairytales. It's sharing and learning countless emotions everyday with that person.
We might fight a lot of times with even petty things. I might make him cry again in the future. Still I wish to embrace only him.
And I can tell, this thing between Baekhyun and I, this is love.
--O.0--
sorry for late update~ please don't unsub yet; extra chaps coming right up ^^
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