Chapter twenty: Confessed

Xiumin and Sehun helped Lu Han to stand up. The latter had been drinking too much and due to the fact his mind was a mess he end up in a room with a random girl. They haven’t had the time to reach that far because the duo arrived a minute before they could do so. Even if it wasn’t the first time Lu Han end up with a girl, making up, hooking up or something related of a guy of his age, this time was different. This time he wasn’t aware of what he was doing. This time he was too intoxicated to think about it, even if it in his right mind he still could have done so. Because this time he was still trying to forget someone, someone Lu Han knew couldn’t even erase from his memories. A person he had helped so much, from far or even with his only presence; someone he really cared besides his eleven male friends; someone who didn’t portrayed herself as someone who she wasn’t; someone who trusted him from the beginning just by the look on his broken and messed up eyes; someone who is a saint on his eyes, but someone who hides a painful past; someone who goes by the name of Minami Hana.

 “We should take him upstairs to rest,” Sehun commented as he walked with Lu Han’s left arm on right shoulder.

“Take home,” Lu Han spoke with a dry voice they could almost hear.

“Idiot, we can’t take you home in this state,” Xiumin added the moment Lu Han forced them to stay.

“Hana is waiting. Take me home”

“You can’t face her like this, Lu Han,” Xiumin insisted with a firm tone.

“I don’t care. You both know even though I’m this intoxicated, I would never hurt her. I would kill myself if I do so”

Sehun sighed, but he had to agree with his older friend. Even if Lu Han’s thoughts were messed up with her on them, the older would never lay a finger on her to force her or to abuse her. He knew Lu Han would never cringe to that level. His morals aren’t that low.

“Idiot. I can’t believe I have an idiot as a friend,” Xiumin sighed and gave up. Lu Han ignored his comment because he was too focus on standing still and his own problems. The oldest of the trio was thinking in the same way as Sehun did, so he left Sehun took Lu Han to his car while he called Hana.

The moment she answered, Xiumin felt his hands shaking up a little bit. He was scared of her reaction. He was unsure and alarmed of how will she take the news. Lu Han was intoxicated, but never had he image how someone else besides the eleven of the boys will react to it. They had seen him like this many times before he even met Hana, but the day they got reunited never had he been this drunken. Lu Han took care of his health since a year ago, but this day was the exception of his limitations.

Her soft voice woke him up from his thoughts and the moment he spoke with her about Lu Hans’s health there was nothing but worry reflecting her concern words. It made him smile slightly, but it was a bitter one.  Hana didn’t know the real reason of Lu Han’s actions. She probably won’t know it was because of her, Xiumin thought. It was because Hana wasn’t aware of Lu Han’s true feelings that leaded the latter into the state he was currently going through. It was because of her Lu Han was sick. And it hurt Xiumin’s heart to see his friend suffer because of it. He knew if Sehun and he leave Lu Han with Hana in the state he was, most probably he would speak all the true feelings he had been hiding for the past year. Lu Han might regret it later, but at least it would help Hana wake up. It would help her realize her true feelings too. Because Xiumin knows she is confused too. Hana might not be aware of it; she might be confusing it with a brotherly love, but at least with Lu Han’s confession she’ll wake up. And Xiumin whishes her to stir those hiding emotions of her towards Lu Han. He wants them to be happy. Even if it hurts them, love indeed damage you the most beautiful way.

Xiumin drove towards Lu Han’s apartment. All the way the latter complaining towards Sehun, who was pretty irritated, but was able to endure it. Xiumin felt sorry towards the youngest, but he couldn’t do anything to stop Lu Han’s grumbles about him being tired, sorry towards everyone and wanted to see Hana quickly. If he said a word, Lu Han most probably would have started to complain to him. And Xiumin didn’t want to be distracted as he drove, so he left Sehun deal with the situation leading both, Sehun and Lu Han have small fights which always ended up with the latter saying sorry and grumping all over again.

It was tired hearing all of the struggles; Xiumin wished they arrive soon and they were lucky. It was really late and the streets were clear.

“This ing imbecile,” Sehun complained really annoyed. “I had to endure all your and grumps just for you to end up asleep the moment we arrive?!”

Xiumin turned and laughed. Indeed Lu Han was sleep on his sit with his mouth slightly open. “Just help me get him to his apartment”

Both carried Lu Han and walked him to his apartment. Xiumin knocked the moment they were facing the door and it opened really fast, leaving the oldest and the youngest perplexed as how fast Hana could be.

Hana looked at him and sighed. “Silly. I told you many times to not drink too much and you just ignore me. I’m hurt”. Sehun noticed a small and meaningful smile on her lips and her eyes reflecting worry. For a second, he felt jealous. Sehun felt slightly jealous of the way Hana looked at his friend, because a girl had never seen him the way she looks at Lu Han. Indeed Sehun had had girlfriends, but never had he been so in love like Lu Han was for Hana. And he was sure, Hana might feel the same way, but she just haven’t realize it.

“Please take him to his room. I’ll search for some medicines,” Hana left the door wide open for them and walked towards the bathroom. She searched for certain painkillers she knew it will help him with the hangover and headache. Hana returned to Lu Han’s room with the painkillers in one hand and a glass of water on the other, luckily the door was left open, so she entered with shy steps.

Lu Han was sitting on his bed, his eyes closed, but his mind awake. “Am I home?”

Hana giggled and handed Xiumin the medicine. The latter helped his friend to take them and Lu Han laid on his bed tranquil.

“Thanks for taking him home,” Hana bowed softly. “I’ll be taking care of him for the rest of the night”

The two of them noticed the respectful tone Hana used and noticed the difference when she spoke with Lu Han, which was more carefree and direct. If they thought about it properly, never had she used such a tone with them, even if they met a time ago, Hana still chose her words correctly when she talked with them. But when it was towards Lu Han, there were no boundaries in her speaking. There were no formalities.

And it was a good signal.

“We entrust you this idiot,” Sehun said. “Be sure he goes to work when he feels better”

Hana smiled and nodded.

Xiumin and Sehun left, leaving Hana and Lu Han in the room. Hana looked at his sleeping face. His tired eyes, his dry lips, his uncolored cheeks made her sighed. There was something beautiful about him, but at the same time it made her nervous.

The reason why Hana had told Lu Han to take care of his health, especially when it came to drinking, it was because he would end up like her father. Never had he trusted drunken people, even if it’s believe they say the truth. Her father had hurt her so many times that she had developed a fear towards drunken people. And seeing Lu Han like this made her heart ache and wondered if it was ok to stand next to him right now. Hana didn’t want to hate him for ending up like this, she just wished it never happened or, at least, she wished she had never had to face him like that.

But she has the responsibility to take care of him for now. He is sick and she’s the only one for him right now, and his friends had entrust him to her. No matter what her insecurities are, his health is most important.

Hana is sure Lu Han would never hurt her. He had protect her all this year and never had he had harm her. So it would be ok to stay with him. She was sure because of his small actions. She had noticed him getting worry for her and asking if she was ok with some of his decisions. And she appreciate it: the fact he enquire her.

Hana looked at him and realized in that moment, in the state Lu Han currently was, he was fragile. He was weak and his cheeks were pale, but he was strong too. Because he would never let his desires, his inner thoughts, wishes and insecurities, dominate his actions. Lu Han would never act like Hana’s father did, and Hana was aware of it.

Even if she is aware of all of this, she’s still scared. A fear can’t be erase that easily. It needs time to overcome. It takes time to heal those scars on a broken soul like Hana’s.

For now, Hana thought it would be the best if she left Lu Han rest, so she decided to leave the room quietly. His body wasn’t warm enough to have a fever, but it has a normal temperature meaning he was starting to feel better. “You better rest, you silly Lu Han,” Hana whispered as she stand with a smile. Not only have you made your friends worried, but also me.

Lu Han, who wasn’t sleep all this time, grabbed Hana’s arm and made her stop. She shivered a bit with the touch because it remained her pain, but latter realize the contact was soft. He wasn’t hurting her at all and it made her relax a bit.

“Don’t go,” she heard clearly.

Hana turned and saw Lu Han sat up. She decided to sit next to him, his eyes never leaving hers. It made her nervous and her heart was crazy. Her hands trembled a bit, but Hana ignored it. “Do you need something else?”

“Do you want to know why I end up this bad?”

Hana blinked, but no words came up from . Then she felt Lu Han’s left hand interlacing with hers and his right her cheek softly. Her lips separated the moment she realized what was happening and her eyes were mesmerized by the loving way his brown eyes watched hers.

“It was because of you,” he was able to speak. “I was trying to forget about you, so I end up getting myself drunk to this point.” Lu Han smiled slightly. “It’s because I’ve fallen for you”

Hana couldn’t divert her eyes from his. It was like they were locked together. But not only her eyes got enchanted, but also her heart started beating like crazy. Her heart was also captivated. But she was still confused with her own feelings. Even though it was pretty clear, she still needed to comprehend what really just happened.

“I won´t ask you for an answer right now,” Lu Han let her go and laid on his bed again. “Most probably I won’t even remember this conversation later, but I’ll be waiting. Just don’t ignore the fact I just confessed to you”

Hana nodded with lost eyes and dry lips. “Good night, Lu Han”

She turned and walked towards the door.

Lu Han smiled at the silhouette of her back. “Good night, Hana. Remember I really, really like you”

Hana stopped and felt her cheeks rise up in heat. She hurried herself out of his room and got in hers with a beating heart and messed up thoughts.

What the heck just happened?!

Lu Han just confessed to her that’s what had happened.

author's note: 

Feel excited ^^ I wanted to update sooner, but I went on a trip and forgot my laptop so I wasn't able to put this chapter on. Sorry. But fell happy! I got time to write down (on my cellphone notes) for the next chapter and it's turning out pretty well.

I hope you liked this chapter.