Chapter fourteen: Told

The sun’s light brightened the room and its bright made Hana’s eyes to feel uncomfortable. She opened one eye slightly and realized she left the curtains open. She rubbed the eye that was still close softly and sat straight. Even if she wanted to continue sleeping, she couldn’t. Even if she was really tired because she didn’t get so much sleep, she couldn’t, because of the events that happened yesterday. And for a moment, Hana’s memories from the previous day started flying in her mind.

There was a slight probability Xiumin recognized her. Yet she hoped he didn’t. Hana hoped he didn’t remember her, because they only met once. It’s really difficult to remember a stranger face if you don’t meet that person frequently, but in Xiumin’s case, it was easy to remember every small detail he could face. And, remembering someone’s features was an easy thing to do for him. How could he forget a person like Hana? She was the girl who drives his best friend crazy after all, and the moment he met her, he paid attention to her, to every single word she said to every little action she made. Even if they met just once, he knew she would change Lu Han in some way due to her personality. Xiumin knew she was a sincere person.

Xiumin knew why Lu Han felt for Hana. Even if Lu Han didn’t share with him every single detail about her, the older one realized how calm, sincere and pure Hana was when they first met. Even if she wasn’t as gorgeous and with refined features as other girl they met, she was still pretty in her own way. She shined in her own way. She was, she is herself.

A sudden knock on Hana’s door made her face reality.

She turned towards her room’s door and waited for it to open. When the twist moved and opened the wooden door, it revealed a small boy, Hana smiled at him.

“Noona, are you awake?” Junwoo whispered as he checked her bed. He smiled when he saw her awake, closed the door softly and run towards the girl to hug her.

Hana hugged her brother back and helped him sat in front of her. “Good morning, Junwoo. Did you sleep well?”

“Good morning! Yes, I did. I had this awesome dream about me saving the world! I had super-powers and everything. Even you let me eat ice-cream every day!”

Hana smiled at him in content and when she was about to answer him, someone knocked her door again. And she already knew who he was.

Lu Han was already awake.

But in contrast to Junwoo, Lu Han didn’t open the door after he knocked, instead he waited outside until Hana confirms he could enter or, at least, answer him.

The girl, who was still wearing her pajamas, stood and walked towards the door. She didn’t want to face Lu Han now, but sooner or later she will.

Yesterday’s night she didn’t wait in the couch until his arrival, instead she stayed in silence in her room and waited. Hana knew if she remained in silence, she could, at least, hear his footsteps. And she did. She stood awake until the time he arrived home.

When Lu Han checked on the couch, he hoped to see a sleeping Hana, but she wasn’t there. It was odd for him, because every single day during the last year they spent living together Hana waited for him. But this time it was different. So he decided to check her room. He knocked and called her, but there wasn’t a response. Lu Han assumed Hana, if she was inside, was sleep. And to confirm his thoughts, he opened the door and saw her sleeping figure. Hana’s back facing him.

But Lu Han didn’t realize Hana was fully awake that moment. She heard the small sound the door made when it opened and heard Lu Han calling her, “Hana?” but she didn’t respond, she didn’t want to.

Lu Han assumed she was sleeping from the moment he entered her room, but still decided to call her, even if he knew there wouldn’t be an answer back. And when he heard nothing, he just smiled at her and closed the door silently. There was, still inside of him, a bit of hope that Hana was still awake. Even if it was already late, he hoped she was still awake, like she, most of the times, did. But somehow, he guessed she was indeed awake, but Hana didn’t want to talk to him, for now. And Lu Han didn’t want to bother her. They can talk later.

Most of the times, he found her already sleep, but then, when he carried her to her room she woke up and welcome him back home with a warm smile. “Welcome home,” she always said with a sleepy tone. Lu Han only smiled back at her and watched her sleep for a few seconds and then leave. There were times in where he stayed longer than a few seconds, not only because he enjoyed watching Hana sleep peacefully, but because he saw how Hana shivered in her sleep.

Hana used to have nightmares most of the time since she was young, but never had she mentioned it to someone before. She kept inside her heart her fears and those scaring dreams. And sometimes she end up crying silently in her bed.

There was a time Lu Han found Hana crying in her sleep. She was sleeping in the couch and her cheeks were wet. He found her so vulnerable and weak. Never had he saw her like that.

After he carried her back to her room, Lu Han caressed her hair to calm her a bit as he whispered, “It’s just a nightmare, Hana” He sat next to her lying body still caressing her until he felt she stopped crying. 

Lu Han stayed in her room longer than an hour or two, sometimes he felt asleep next to her just to check she won’t cry longer. He spent most of the nights next to Hana, still keeping his distance from her as he sleep, just because he was worried. Not even once had Hana noticed him or heard him staying in her room longer.

It was Lu Han’s way to take care of Hana. Even if he didn’t want to admit it, those were hints for her. It was his way to tell her how much he loved her, but Hana didn´t notice him even once, so there wasn’t any possibility for her to know. And Lu Han was ok with that. In that way, he could still protect her like he did, in silence and from far, yet close enough.

“Junwoo, I need to change”. The little boy nodded and left the room.

Hana left a sigh came from . How was she supposed to act in front of Lu Han? How was she supposed to say when she faced him? Maybe, there’s still a possibility he didn’t know she was at the bar last night. Maybe Xiumin didn’t recognize her. Maybe, she should act oblivious about it and don’t worry so much about it.

But she wanted to ask him everything: every question in her mind.

She wanted to know. She wanted to know him more.

She had a reason. Hana had a reason why she sneaked into the bar, so there wasn’t anything to be afraid of, right? If she explains him, Lu Han will understand. He’s a kind person. He will understand her reasons.

Hana took her door’s knob with both of her hands and bite her lower lip. Why was she so afraid? Why was she so insecure? Because she felt guilty. She wasn’t supposed to be there. But she had to be strong; she couldn’t change what she did, just face it and find for a solution.

And will all her strength she opened her door and close it as softly as possible. She needed to look as calm as she always did. Hana walked towards the living room hoping to find Junwoo there too, but she only found Lu Han, who was sitting at the table playing with his phone.

“Where is Junwoo?”

Lu Han lifted his gaze from his phone and put it away. “He went outside to play”

“Alone?”

“No. Remember the boy from next floor that is also Junwoo’s age, Youngjae? They are playing together”

Hana only nodded. Lately those two were becoming closer. She was happy Junwoo had a friend, even if the latter left her alone when Youngjae invite him and play, she was glad.

“Are you ok?”

Hana’s eyes grew wider. She turned her gaze towards Lu Han, who looking at her with curiosity. “I’m fine. Why you ask?”

“It’s just that I notice you a bit uneasy. Like you don’t want to face or talk to me.” And he knew the reason behind her uneasiness. Hana was really predictable in Lu Han’s eyes. He knew she was afraid. She was scared of the feeling of being seen.

And before Hana could even answer him, he stood up and walked towards her. Hana’s eyes following him all the time and her eyes connected. He stood in front of her and caressed her hair. “What were you doing last night at the bar?” With the question Hana break the eye contact, making Lu Han a bit sad. He would admire her brown eyes all day if he could.

“I-I’ts a long story”

“I’m willing to hear it,” Lu Han kept caressing Hana’s hair.

And Hana told him. She mentioned Danbi and her sister and the reason why they had to go and find the latter. She told him how they were able to enter the bar and when she saw Xiumin at the bar. Hana omitted the fact she saw him talking with a girl that night.

“I guess we need to lock the back door next time,” Lu Han joked.

“Yes, you should. Else we could sneak one more time,” Hana laughed softly.

Lu Han laughed too. He was about to say something, but Hana’s voice stopped him. “I’m sorry, Lu Han. I wasn’t supposed to sneak at the bar yesterday, but it was because Danbi needed my help”

“I know,” Lu Han’s gaze turned gentler, “Just don’t ever enter at night. It could turn dangerous you know?” Hana nodded as she smiled.

“Did you saw something you shouldn’t have?”

“I bet she saw you with that girl last night!” Xiumin joked, “I bet she believes you got a girlfriend or maybe she thinks you got a night-stand”

“Shut up,” Lu Han complained.

Actually, it hurt him. The pain of not being able to tell Hana how much he loves her is stuck in his heart and in his throat. There was a possibility she could misinterpret things. But as painful as it is, he couldn’t tell her. She’s still oblivious about the real him and his real background. He needed to kept things as they were.

 Hana pouted a bit and her head tilted to her right as she tried to remember. Her cheeks turned red as she remembered the couple at the restroom. Why did Lu Han have to ask something like that now?!

He smirked when he saw her blushing, “I guess you did”

“I-It w-was Danbi’s idea to check on the bathrooms! How could I guess they were doing those things in that place?!” her cheeks turned redder if it was possible.

Lu Han laughed and that make Hana frustrated. He was making fun of her!

“Stop laughing! It’s not funny!” Hana complained as she hit his arm to stop him laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Lu Han’s laugh turned softer, “You looked so cute when you are embarrassed”

“Shut up,” Hana crossed her arms and Lu Han shook his head as he smiled.

She didn’t notice him called her cute.

“Hana, I need to leave in a few minutes”

She knew Lu Han had to go to the bar. Just like he always did. Everyday. She wished she could visit him. Maybe someday. Maybe someday, she’ll be able to understand his reasons why is he hiding so many secrets with her.

“Thank you, for trusting me”

“Don’t worry. I trust the ones who believe in me,” Hana said with a warm smile.

author's note:  

I'm finally back! Sorry I took so long to update TT-TT college stressed me out, so many projects I had to present and I had to study a tons of things. If you add the issues about EXO, it just leave me with no inspiration to write. But after five months I'm finally FREE! (for a month until the next semester starts once again, but let's not talk about it now!)

I forgot how much I L O V E this couple. I can't believe how much I enjoy writing their thoughts and actions. Well let me know what you think in the comments and share your love! <3

Lately, I've been into GOT7 too... they are life ruiners guys! I'm watching his show named I GOT7 and it cracked me up. I had so much watching them xDDD I can't wait for the next chapter. And because of them I'm planning on writing a fic about them. I already have the main idea in my mind and the main characters. I only need to write the first chapter and see how it will progress. WHISH ME LUCK!

Oh! and an advise for you: if you don't want to fall in love with a kpop group, NEVER watch them in a variety show. Seriusly, just don't... There's no going back ;)

Good luck!

I'll try to update tomorrow :D 

Posted: 2014/07/09