Chapter fifteen: Truth II

Hana spent most of the day inside the apartment. Time to time she went out to check on her little brother and Youngjae, both playing downstairs in the small playground located in the park in front. She noticed the smiles on both young boys; they were indeed having fun as they played together. At least, Junwoo was having a beautiful childhood. He was having fun and making friends. He was experimenting what Hana couldn’t.

Never had she told anyone about it. Hana didn’t know since when, but she was already helping her mom from a young age. She didn’t realize she already knew about her mother’s sickness since young and she tried to help her all the time. Every time Hana arrived from school her mother was trying her best to do the chores, but the little girl always noticed how much the older struggle. Her mother’s face was always pale and she got weaker and slimmer.

Hana knew her mother wasn’t healthy at all. Hana knew her mother was fighting with her pain all the time. Even if she was really young to understand, Hana tried her best to comprehend and help.

Hana grew with the fear of being left alone. The fear of being abandoned by her mother. Just because since little Hana knew someday, due to her mother’s sickness, she’ll leave her. Even though she was afraid, the younger girl hid her true feelings.

But not only had she grown with the fear of living alone, there was also the anxiety and nervousness her father gave her. The person who she grew afraid of was no one else but her father, because since she was little he was distant, cold and rude. He wanted everything perfect and done by the way he wanted. Every time Hana looked directly towards his eyes, her body trembled. His stare was cold and firm.

Since Hana was little his father beat her mother mostly and her. And it got worst for Hana after her mother passed away.

From the day her mother left her, Hana had to grow stronger. She had to … for her younger brother and hers sake.

She promised her mother she’ll take care of Junwoo. He’s the only person she can address with confidence as her family. Even though deep inside Hana still address his father as such. Even if the latter never saw both as his children, Hana still remembers him as his father. Even if the memories of him are painful, he’s still his father.

She couldn’t hate him. Even if she put at her will in doing so, she couldn’t.

Hana still remembers perfectly her mother words.

Don’t hate your father. He has his reasons for doing and behaving like he did.

Who could believe such words could affect her so much? Maybe because she believes in her mother. Due to her mother words, Hana couldn’t detest him. Even if he created so much pain in her memories; even if he made her mother and her suffered so much.

Hana knew her mother trusted her with all her heart and because of that she will do anything to not disappoint her. Because Hana trusts the ones who believes in her.

Hana looked at the living room’s clock and sighed.

11:50 pm

It was still too early for Lu Han to come back home. Usually he’s back at two or three in the morning. She knew it was really tired for him to wake up so early in the morning and arrive home so late. But it was Lu Han decision to do so.

Hana turned towards the bookshelf and walked towards it. Maybe reading could help her distract a little bit. She eyed every book and took the one she was more interested in, but the moment she took the book out a folder felt from the shelf revealing all the documents inside of it. Immediately, Hana bent down to put together all those papers, but the moment she collect all she noticed those were simple papers. Those documents contained personal information of a certain person.

Hana checked all the papers; all contained the same personal information about different people. But what left her petrified was the fact all those people were dead. Apparently, all of them murdered.

The dates were also recently.

Hana noticed this entire people looked important. They owned several buildings and their earnings were tons of money. But it looked like they associate with dangerous people which lead them to be murdered.

She was not stupid. Why Lu Han does have all this information? What he has to do with all this?

He indeed knew about it.

Hana was waiting at her usual spot, at the couch. In front of her were placed, at the coffee table, the documents she found; all the time her gaze on them. She wondered if it was ok to ask Lu Han for an explanation. Maybe it was her fault to dig into others business, but she can’t act oblivious about it anymore. She knew something was off and she had the rights to know what was happening.

She wanted to know. She wanted to comprehend.

Why all this mystery?

How did Eunjung and Lu Han meet each other? Under which circumstances?

Even if Hana wasn’t old enough to enter the bar Lu Han works, why did he never tell her the name of it or where it was located?

Why Lu Han did never mentioned the names of his friends?

Hana knew he was hiding her presence from them. She was sure of it, but never asked him the reason why. She didn’t want to annoy him nor making him feel uncomfortable with her questions. She thought someday she’d be able to understand, but founding these documents made it more difficult to process what was happening in her eyes.

She couldn’t act as she knew nothing about it, because she already knew something was off. She couldn’t act oblivious about it, because there was a uneasiness growing inside of her. Hana had to face Lu Han and demand for an answer.

“Hana, you are awake”

The mentioned girl, who stood up as soon as she heard her name, didn’t notice Lu Han presence already. Hana was wide awake from the moment she read those papers.

“You should be slee-” Lu Han stoop as he saw Hana signaling him something. He tried to look at her eyes, but those were looking at what she signaling.

There was a sudden feel of nervousness traveling all his body; and he turned towards it with a fearful glance. And the moment he saw the files at the coffee table his eyes grew wider and he was speechless.

. How could I have been so careless?!

“You read them?” Lu Han turned towards Hana and saw how she nodded. She hasn’t looked at him directly yet; she was still looking at the files.

.

Lu Han kept on cursing himself for being so inattentive. He shouldn’t have hid those in a place so reachable for her. He was supposed to hide those documents in the bar, but he forgot about them. He had been so busy lately that he forgot those files existence.

“Please, explain it to me,” Hana begged, “I don’t know what’s happening. I’m so confused right now”

“I can’t,” Lu Han hands were forming fits and his tone had turned a bit more demanding, “Forget about it. You won’t understand”

That wasn’t the real reason. Lu Han knew Hana will comprehend; she was a smart girl after all. He was afraid. He was paralyzed by the fear he’ll end up hurting her. Because it evolves a world Hana didn’t know. It was a dangerous path. A path Lu Han grew since he was little. And he didn’t want her to be involved in such a dirty world. She didn’t have to. She mustn’t.

“I’m not a little girl, Lu Han! I’m old enough to comprehend it!” Hana lifted her gaze and faced Lu Han full with determination, “If you tell me to act as nothing happened, it means you don’t believe in me as much as I believe in you. Are you trying to tell me that I mustn’t rely on you? All this time was I a burden for you? Because you make it look like that… not telling me the truth”

“It’s not like that,” Lu Han sat on the couch and hide his face with his palms, “I would end up hurting you if I tell you”

Hana noticed how his nature changed when they started talking about it. There wasn’t a smile on his face and his tone changed from calm to a nervous one. What was exactly the meaning of it? And somehow she guessed she was already involved in that world. That world Lu Han interacts with everyday.

Hana sat next to Lu Han and begged, “Please, Lu Han, tell me. It’s more painful for us to act as nothing happened. I need to understand” I want to understand. I want to grow closer to you.

“I guess I should,” he sighed, “I knew sooner or later you’ll find out”

That night Hana find out what Lu Han’s real job was. He indeed worked at the bar, but it was just a façade. Together with other eleven males they murdered and kidnap people for rewards. They lend money to people who contact them under a contract and if they didn’t pay them back, they’ll be killed. They worked as something it could be address as a gang.

They were criminals in front of every one’s eyes.

But never did Lu Han mention Hana about what he did when he was younger. He didn’t mention his father’s background and about the children kidnaps he did. He wanted her to remain oblivious about it for now.

“Do you hate me?”

Hana’s eyes turned wider as she turned towards Lu Han, who wasn’t looking at her, but at the files. She smiled at him and answered him with sincerity, “How could I hate you when you just told me the truth. I’m able to understand you a bit more and that makes me happy”

Lu Han turned towards her and saw her sparkling eyes and honest smile, “You had your reasons to hide it. You thought it will keep me safe to remain it hidden, but have you thought the fact of hiding it can make it as a weakness?” She noticed how his eyes grew a bit wider and she laughed a bit. “I can try to grow stronger. I don’t want to be a burden for you”

Lu Han nodded sincerely with a small smile on his lips.

Hana smiled at him too, but she took this opportunity to hug him. “Thank you,” she whispered, “For trusting me once again”

Lu Han was indeed surprised by her sudden act. He felt how his heartbeat increased just by having her close. He was able to smell her scent, her sweet vanilla scent. In that moment, he was speechless so he only nodded.

If he could, he would stop time. 

author's note:  

O M G ... such a revelation xD this chapter gave me so many feels! <3

I hoped you enjoy it as much as I did writing it ;) And now I should think about what can happen next to them....

Posted: 2014/07/12