2013

            It's been three years.

            Three years of being trapped by the memories of a first love. Three years of enduring the pain. Three years of yearning to turn back time. Three years of hardening the walls around my heart. Three years of holding back. Three years of lying, fake smiling, pretending. Three years.

            And now, he was standing right in front of me. Before, I begged not to ever let me see him again. I asked over and over again to never let our paths cross again. But now that I see him, it calmed my heart a little, knowing that he is fine. After three years, I released the biggest worry I've been carrying around me.

            He stood in front of me. Did he recognize me? I'm not sure. He looked exactly the same. Three years and he looked like the same guy I knew from my past. But the feeling was different. For some reason I felt uncomfortable, scared, stuffed up. Instead of a smile, I was staring at a cold expression. Did it have to do anything with the fact it was autumn, his least favourite season? I didn't know.

            The lights turned its colours and the orange hand that warned us not to cross the road finally turned into a white man. I watched him take a step along with me, crossing the long main street. Right around the middle we met - brushed - but he kept walking and so did I. My heart cried in pain once again; and I let cold wind distract me from the all so familiar feeling.

            Suddenly I felt someone grab my hand, and I spun around to face the man I once knew so well. He had his hair poking through his beanie, his jacket undone, showing off his sweater, his free hand stuffed inside the jacket pockets.

"How dare you walk away from me?" that was what he asked me after three years. How dare I? How dare he ask me such a question?

"I - um... Long time, no see" I managed to fake a smile. The cold expression he had been hanging on to softened as a smile spread through his lips.

"Oh I've missed you!" he exclaimed as he pulled me into a hug. I froze as his arms wrapped around me. I've missed this. So, so much.

"Me too"

"Wow, and to think you ignored me and walked past me." he touched my cold cheek. "Goodness, you're cold"

"I know. It's almost winter"

"I know. And I hate fall. I know you do too" he smiled and I shook my head.

"I've started to fall in love with fall" I said and he pouted.

"Since when?"

"Sine photography"

"Photogra-" he stopped himself as he realized that it's been three years too. "Where are you going?" he asked and I pointed at the bus stop.

"Home"

"You still live at your old place, right?" he asked and I shook my head again.

"I moved" I said and he nodded. I hated moving houses. Personally, I loved that place. That house bared so many great memories, and moving houses because my sister got married was just a stupid excuse.

"I loved your house though. It was always so warm. Especially your room" he spoke and my cheeks turned bright red - as if they weren't red in the first place. "Let's go" he said, taking my hand and dragging me the opposite direction. It's like we've been seeing each other every day. He talked like we met on daily basis. To him, it was no big deal but to me, it was everything.

            Right, I was the stupid girl who fell in love with him. I sighed as I let him drag me away.

"Chen I have to go home" I suddenly stopped.

"Please, I see you after three years - or is it four