Kai noticed the caller ID and made a groan before shoving the phone back in his pocket and put it on silent. Jiwon has been especially weird lately; clingy and all. And right now, Kai didn’t want to talk to Jiwon, especially when he was smoking right now. She didn’t like when Kai smoke and Kai didn’t like feeling guilty. He hated feeling anything for anybody. Kai has always found it so degrading to do so. And as much as he liked Jiwon, there is always going to be a part of him that hates how Jiwon is slowly becoming more and more important. 

But Kai doesn’t blame Jiwon for how he is feeling. He blamed himself. Him who decided to turn around his seat the first time in junior year. Him who was the first to initiate a conversation. Him who smirked and did all he could to get Jiwon’s attention. Him who became so unhealthily fascinated with this girl. Him who didn’t end it when he was supposed to, 2 months as always. And him now, who still couldn’t let go. 

And with this open relationship crap, it felt good for Kai to know how much Jiwon seemed to need him as she was tolerating all his crap. And in a way, it comforted his ego to know that it was not him who is giving himself more, not him who needs the other more, not him who is feeling more, not him who is hurting more. Perhaps it should be enough to know that Jiwon is doing more but for whatever reason, Kai is always finding himself pushing the limits-seeing how far the girl is willing to go for a guy like him. To prove that there is someone who just loves him that much. Who is he proving to? His mother who said no one will ever put up with him? His father who ignored him? His brother who scoffed at Kai’s every attempt to get close to him? Or himself?

Kai who believed his entire life that no one is capable of loving him?

“And I wonder why they are contemplating on firing you?” the sarcastic voice came from the door that lead to the roof to where Kai was.

Kai turned for a brief second, but Sehun failed to capture his interest and so Kai turned back to the smoke.

“Leave.”Kai didn’t like people invading his personal space.

But of course, Sehun didn’t leave and walked up in front of Kai to quickly snatch the cigarette out of Kai’s hand. Kai became displeased, but his face was as indifferent as ever. 

“It’s bad for you.” Sehun tried to lecture but Kai went to grab another in his pocket only to have Sehun reach in and took the entire pack. 

“Maybe that is why I like doing it.”

“Aren’t you a rebel? So if I tell you it’s bad to actually work, will you rebel please?”

“I wish it was that easy. And it’s not like I don’t want to. I just can’t. Nothing comes to mind when I sit in the studio.”

“Just produce anything-even if it is crap. I know you can do that in your sleep and the department wants to just see you try.”

“I would rather produce nothing than produce crap.”

“Well, nothing is about to get you fired.”

Sehun wanted to talk more with Kai about this situation but he knew better than to force Kai to do anything. Kai was like a robot. And Sehun knew just how to bring this robot back to life..

“Does Jiwon know-“

The second Kai heard Jiwon’s name, Kai rolled his eyes with a discontented sigh. He could never understand why other people are always getting into his business. “Let’s not talk about Jiwon. I’m dating her-not you.”

“Are you dating her? With this open relationship nonsense, you guys are just seeing each other. Maybe I could get in-“

 With that, Kai gave Sehun a glare and walked off. Sehun smiled seeing Kai a bit frustrated because it was rare that Kai feels anything. And Kai works best when he does feel. Music seemed to be an outlet for his emotions.

But contrary to what Sehun believes, music was no longer the outlet. Kai found a new one. A better one that lets him forget. And now, Kai is going to forget. 

Today was a good day. Jiwon went to work expecting to be folding clothes on the sidelines during Kris’s photo-shoot but instead; she was assigned to take some amateur shots for auditions. Sure, it was easy and simple headshots for a bunch of kids who didn’t know what they were doing but Jiwon was glad to be able to work with such nice equipment. 

So here she was now, editing the pictures in one of the small cubicles alone until the door slid open and a cup of coffee landed in front of her.

“Are those your pictures?” Kris asked and hovered over Jiwon to watch the computer screen.

Kris hovered a lot as Jiwon has learned, as she got closer to him. Jiwon used to be uncomfortable when he did in the beginning but since a few weeks passed, Jiwon got used to Kris’s hovering. Jiwon also got used to just how Kris seemed to be curious about everything.

“Yeah, what do you think?” Jiwon slid her chair to let Kris some room.

“They’re nice. You should do my headshots.”

“I don’t know about that but thanks.”

“Don’t be so humbled. That translates to insecurity in this industry. Insecurity doesn’t sell.”

Jiwon rolled her eyes and ignored his comment. But it made sense as to why Kris had such a big ego now. “Don’t you have a photo-shoot?”

“The weather was a bit cloudy. So I was bored and came here to give you something.”

“The coffee?” Jiwon asked with a slight tone of disinterest as she turned her attention back to her photos. Jiwon was very into her editing until an expensive looking envelop came into her view. 

“This. Come.” 

Jiwon opened the enveloped and found a black piece of paper with gold matt ts and print. As Jiwon traced her fingers along the ridges, she opened her eyes in surprised. 

“Happy Birthday!” Jiwon smiled when she read the date. 

“Mmm. The company is throwing it so it won’t really be that fun. But you should still come anyways so I have one more person to talk to. It’s my birthday after all.”

With the way Kris was smiling and actually wanting Jiwon to be there, she was getting the feeling that they were starting to become friends. And one always feel guilty for missing a friend’s birthday. But since Kai promised her to take her out on a date today, she didn’t want to miss it. Should she tell Kris?

“I wish you gave me this earlier because I already have something to do today.” 

"Is that so? Well if your plans change, the address is still the same.”

Jiwon sat in the restaurant with the waitress giving her s light nasty look. Jiwon couldn’t blame the girl though because she would be annoyed too if she saw someone taking up space in this expensive and busy restaurant.

Jiwon had been here for hours already and was quit thankful she hasn’t been asked to leave since she was respected for being a regular-but usually with Kai across from her at their regular table.

Even Jiwon knew that Kai seemed to have stood her up. Kai never stood her up like this but here she was, waiting and without any clue as to where her date was supposed to be at the moment.

Jiwon scoffed when the realization hit that things really will be different from now on. Kai wasn’t going even to inform her that she’s going to be stood up.

“Want any more water?” a male voice came and Jiwon looked to see that the waitress she had before was no longer serving her. The waitress probably didn’t think Jiwon was worth serving anymore.

“Um, I’ll just have something to take on the go.” Jiwon thought it would be polite to at least buy something and not take anymore of the restaurant’s time and space.

Looking at the mountain of gifts, anyone would guess that Kris probably have everything he could ever asked for. But Kris could care less about them. He wanted one thing. He wanted Sora. 

Kris was waling back and forth in the middle of the decorative and fancy ballroom alone with his thoughts. The party was over and everyone already left but Kris was still waiting for that one thing he wanted. 

The grand doors made a small slit and for a second, Kris became the happiest man in the word. But disappointment rushed over when he noticed the jet-black hair instead of the brown ones he wanted to see.

“Sora didn’t show?” Jiwon smiled understandingly at his disappointed face while peaking into the ballroom.

“No. And Kai?” 

“You knew?”

“You said your family lived far away so I guessed he was the only person you’d have plans with.”

Jiwon smiled for a moment, trying to show that she was okay. And then she remembered that it was Kris’s birthday she was here for so she walked towards him while reaching into her bag for his gifts.

“It was last-minute and definitely not as expensive as the others. Just bought some stuff at the subway on my way here.” Jiwon admitted hesitantly.

Kris smiled when he saw Jiwon’s outreached hands. It wasn’t anything fancy. No bows, no wrappings, nothing shiny. It was just a brown paper bag. But to Kris, Jiwon’s gift was the best one tonight. It was the only one handed to him in person.

“It’s a llama?” Kris scrunched his eyebrows together and laughed at the fluffy white thing. Kris couldn’t make out exactly what it is because it had a pirate hat, a blue scarf and a pair of black sunglasses.

“It’s an alpaca with a touch of Kris Wu.”

“Name?” Kris smiled at the thought of this gift. 

“Ace. Because you’re jjang.” Jiwon put two thumbs up, while Kris rolled his eyes at her childish behaviors.

“Is that all for the birthday boy?” 

“No. There is still my version of birthday punches.” Jiwon smiled innocently before attacking him with her thumbs.

“Y-yah! S-stop it you crazy girl.” Kris laughed at the pokes that were aimed at his sides while trying to get away. 

But Jiwon ignored the man’s pleas anyways and chased Kris with thumbs pointing forward. “23, was it?”