Music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Iov70BaXM4

Hyolyn- Crazy of You

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Chen sat on the piano stool, his back to the piano as he flipped through pages and pages of music sheets.

 

He hummed a soft tune and continued to look through the wrinkled papers that held his chicken scratch handwriting.

 

Then he spotted a song that took his breath away.

 

Deep in the mound of music sheets that he held in his hand, Chen pulled out the song.

 

His eyes gleamed.

 

This is the one…

 

He stared at the crumpled brown paper in his hand.

 

The ends had been ripped out of its threaded notebook but was still in good condition.

 

 

The edges were extremely yellow and it turned a lighter yellow towards the center.

 

Chen saw a couple pages stained a dark brown with smears across the page.

 

Placing the papers on the stand, he smiled and remembered what happened.

 

The memory itself was quite sad, but he couldn’t help the grin on his face.

 

He recalled all the good times he spent with the girl.

 

He recalled all the love he had given to her, only to receive more love from the girl.

 

With gentle fingers, he pressed a note.

 

Then the song sprang to life.

 

Music filled the empty room.

 

Take me back… back to that time….

 

---

 

In the year of 1862, Chen fell in love with a human girl.

 

She lived next door to him.

 

Everyday, he would go out to his balcony, and she was the first thing he would see.

 

He spent every moment he could with her.

 

But then he heard the most devastating news in his young life.

 

She had cancer.

 

Back in those days, there was no cure.

 

No treatments.

 

No cancer centers.

 

Nothing.

 

Day by day, the girl grew weaker, until one day, she couldn’t get out of bed.

 

Chen knew that her end was drawing near.

 

But he couldn’t save her.

 

He was a developing young vampire.

 

A bite from a vampire would usually save the victim and give them immortality, but Chen couldn’t do that.

 

At that time, he wanted to save her with all his heart and soul, but he just couldn’t.

 

Because he didn’t have fangs.

 

He was born in the year of 1846, but like his brothers, his fangs had not set in yet.

 

He was 16 years old at the time and vampires received their first set of fangs at the age of 18.

 

There were cases of early fangs like his older brother Kris who received his first set at age 15.

 

He begged and pleaded, throwing away any shred of dignity he had, for his older brother to save her.

 

Kris was the only one he could turn to.

 

But Kris wouldn’t do it.

 

He couldn’t do it.-

 

---

 

‘Ge!  Wo qiu qiu ni!  Jiu ta!  Qing ni bang wo!  Ru guo ni bang wo, wo yong yuan bu hui zai cao ni!  Wo hui zuo ni de gong ke!  Wo hui bang ni zhu cai!  Ni yao shen me wo jiu hui zuo!  Qing ni bang wo!’  (Big brother!  I’m begging you!  Save her!  Please help me!  If you help me, I won’t bother you anymore!  I’ll do you homework!  I’ll cook for you!  Whatever you want, I’ll do it!  So please, help me!)  Chen begged.

 

‘Chen...Wo xiang yao bang ni, ke shi wo bu neng...Ni yi jing zhi dao, ruo guo wo jiu ta, ta jiu hui bian wo de pei ou...Shi ni ai ta de, bu shi wo..’’ (Chen...I want to help you, but I can’t….You know that, if I save her, she’ll be my mate.  You’re the one that loves her, not me) replied Kris.

 

‘Please!  I’m begging you!’ cried Chen.

 

‘I’m sorry Chen….’ Kris turned away, unable to look at his little brother.

 

---

 

Kris could save her.

 

But not Chen.

 

Not Kim Jongdae.

 

It was never Kim Jongdae.

 

Nobody cared about Kim Jongdae.

 

Nobody knew Kim Jongdae.

 

Nobody loved Kim Jongdae.

 

Or so he thought.

 

 

The girl he admired for a good amount of his adolescent life loved him.

 

But he would never know.

 

In the last week of her life, Chen often visited her; bringing her flowers and singing small songs to cheer her up.

 

Then, one day, Chen came in, ecstatic.

 

He made his first song.

 

And it was for her.

 

Eager to show her, he rushed in, only to find her sleeping.

 

He shook her, begging her to wake up.

 

She didn’t wake up.

 

 

She closed her eyes the night before, and never awoke the next morning.

 

It was Christmas day when she passed away.

 

 

And so Chen changed the song.

 

He titled it Miracle in December.

 

---

 

Chen’s memory didn’t falter.

 

He remembered every aspect of the girl.

 

Her smile.

 

Her hair.

 

Her eyes.

 

Her lips.

 

But only, this time, he was thinking of Eun Mi.

 

---

 

Baekhyun heard gentle piano sounds coming from one of his brother’s room.

 

He quietly tip toed out to weed out the source of the sound.

 

He stopped in front of Chen’s room and heard the sound clearly.

 

Miracle in December...It’s been a while since I heard this song… We spent hours working on this song with Kyungsoo for her…but she never got to

hear it..

 

 

Baekhyun looked down to the ground and put an ear to the door.

 

Quietly, Baekhyun closed his eyes and sang along.

 

~

I’m struggling to find you who I cannot see

I’m struggling to find you who I cannot hear

I see things that I couldn’t see before

I hear things that I couldn’t hear before

After you left me, I have grown a power that I didn’t have before

~

The selfish me who has only thought about myself

The me who didn’t know your feelings and ignored it

I couldn’t believe myself that I have changed this much

Your love can still move me like this

~

If I just think of you, I can fill this world with you

Because each snowdrop is one tear drop that belongs to you

But theres just one thing that I can’t do and it’s to make you come to me

I hope I don’t have this miserable power

~

The selfish me who has only thought about myself

The me who didn’t know your feelings and ignored it

I couldn’t believe myself that I have changed this much

Your love can still move me like this

~

Stopping the time, I go back to you

I open this book of memories and I open up your page

And in the book I’m in there, in there with you

The small and weak person, because of your love

Just like this for everything (my whole existence)

I changed the whole world

~

The me who didn’t know how to be thankful for love

The me who thought that end was the end

To the image of you who wanted me to be, I fixed myself everyday

I think my love will continue on forever

~

 

The lyrics made Baekhyun choke up with tears.

 

Unable to sing any longer, Baekhyun quietly flashed back to his room.

 

He shut the door and locked it tightly, then let out a heart-wrenching cry.

 

Everything flooded back.

 

All the memories that he tried so hard to forget.

 

All the love she ever gave him.

 

“Eun Mi, Eun Mi, Eun Mi, Eun Mi” he chanted aloud, hoping it could ease the pain.

 

He gripped the door knob and fell on his knees in despair.

 

“Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun” a voice chanted back.

 

The voice was light and easy, just like how he remembered it.

 

Baekhyun let out a cry and clutched onto his heart.

 

“Why does it hurt so much?” he cried out, asking the voice.

 

“Because you haven’t learned to let go” answered the voice.

 

“It hurts so much!  Please!  Make it stop!” his voice quivered.

 

“Shhh, it’s okay”

 

Baekhyun felt a soft hand touched his cheek.

 

His cries grew harder.

 

Light flashed in his mind.

 

He saw a girl, smiling at him.

 

She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen and she was his.

 

 

She tied her bangs to the side, and wore a polka dot dress.

 

“Yeobo~” the girl called out.

 

He held her hand again, but this time it was colder than before.

 

They retraced their steps.

 

Together, they walked into the forest to find their secret place.

 

He listened to her ask the most ridiculous questions and mindlessly nodded.

 

She would laugh, but he was still.

 

She’d make a fool out of herself, trying to make him laugh.

 

He was solemn.

 

Eventually, she grew tired.

 

Tired of walking.

 

Tired of talking.

 

Tired of smiling.

 

Tired of him.

 

He just couldn’t bring himself to break out of his cold facade, not even for her.

 

Baekhyun cried even harder.

 

“I’m -gasp- I’m so -gasp- sorry”

 

Baekhyun begged for her forgiveness and promised to be better.

 

Oh how he wished he could hold her once more.

 

How he could shower her with kisses.

 

To be able to whisper sweet ‘I love you’s into her ear.

 

To make her laugh.

 

To sing for her.

 

To hug her.

 

To love her all over again.

 

“Eun Mi, please -gasp- c-come -gasp- back!-gasp-” Baekhyun said in between his cries.

 

He buried himself into his arms, rocking himself back and forth.

 

“I promise -gasp- I’ll -gasp- i’ll be -gasp- a better -gasp- boyfriend -gasp-”

 

He promised to do everything for her.

 

He would be a better boyfriend.

 

But it was too late.

 

---

 

Chen sat at the piano, staring at the keys.

 

He continued tapping on the middle white key.

 

His face was blank, but his mind was going crazy.

 

 

Baekhyun stopped crying.

 

He sniffled and slowly closed his eyes.

 

 

He remembered everything.

 

 

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