Chaerin walked in a fast pace towards Jiyong’s studio, where he would probably be. She had to wear thick make-up to cover her wounds, her clothes were thick, not only because of the cold weather of autumn, but also to hide the wound on her stomach. She wore a casual black blouse with black leather pants and a black leather jacket. She wore some black stiletto boots that made her look somewhat bad-, she thought. Her blond hair was loose over her shoulders, moving graciously in rhythm with her hips.

She made it to the studio and slowly opened the doors, the strings of the guitar sounding so melodic it melted her rotting heart. She walked in and saw both Jiyong and Seungri on the red sofa, playing the guitars. Seungri had his eyes closed and Jiyong was moving his head to the rhythm of the music he was playing. She saw them both with an amused and also a worried expression. She looked at Jiyong, he was wearing a black shirt with simple jeans and his usual black boots unlaced. His hair was undone, hastily moved to the side and his neck wasn’t decorated with the heavy jewelry he usually wore. His arms were only decorated with his tattoos, while Seungri wore a black suite and a white buttoned shirt with a black tie. He would probably leave to record, or was arriving, she didn’t know.

As she walked inside, both Jiyong and Seungri looked at her. Jiyong wore a welcoming smile while Seungri a dark stare. She gulped and bowed slightly as she walked closer to them. “I’m sorry to interrupt.” She said. Seungri stood up and smiled coldly.

“No, you didn’t, I was just leaving.” He said and looked over at Jiyong. Jiyong, who was resting on the guitar, nodded smiling. Seungri bowed and walked towards Chaerin – towards the door, Chaerin happened to be in the way – and bowed at her. And as he did, he handed her a small piece of paper. She closed her fist around the paper and bowed back. Seungri then left, leaving them both alone in the studio.

“So, what brings you here? I thought I wouldn’t see you until tonight.” He said, setting the guitar aside. Chaerin inhaled and smiled, then let out all the air on her lungs.

“I had to get out of my house.” She simply said. Jiyong’s face turned worried, and he moved to the side, patting the space next to him so she would go and sit.

“Come.” He said and she oblige, sitting next to him. “What’s wrong?” He asked her, putting his hand on top of hers. She looked at their hands and let out a sigh, slowly retrieving her hand. She looked at him, he was glancing down at their hands, and for a brief moment, she saw some sort of disappointment, then he hid it, expressing a genuine worry.

“I had a fight with my roommate, that’s all.” She lied. Jiyong nodded and looked at her smiling. His face was so bright she wondered if he ever had any suffering at all, but then again, she knew better than that, and also knew he was good hiding his own feelings.

“Need a place to stay?” He said. She looked at him and shook her head quickly.

“No, we don’t hate each other, it was just about who would clean, and well, I think I was too rude to her, there’s so much going on right now that I think I’m hurting the people around me.” She somewhat lied, and somewhat told the truth. Jiyong nodded understandingly.

“But that’s you, you’re rude, and that’s your charm, your charisma.” He said. Chaerin forced a smile. No, that wasn’t her, she was sure that wasn’t her. She liked to think she was nice and loving, but she knew, deep inside, that part of her died a long time ago.

“I guess you’re right.” She said, looking at the guitar next to him. She was going to say something about it when he quickly grabbed her face on his hands. She widened her eyes for a brief moment, then saw that an expression of horror was plastered on his face as he examined her face.

“What the happened to you?” He said, his voice trembling.

“Nothing,” She said, moving her face to the side, her hair falling between them, hiding half of her face. He moved the hair away and with his fingers grabbed her chins. His hands were so big she swore he could hide her face with just one hand.

“Chaerin, don’t lie to me, that’s a bruise on your face, did… did someone punched you? Was it your roommate?” He said, his voice still trembling.

“Don’t be ridiculous Jiyong, how could she ever hit me?” She said, he narrowed his eyes and moved her face so he could have a better look.

“Then someone else? Tell me Chaerin, who did this to you?!” He almost yelled, startling her a bit. Well, someone came into our apartment and punched me several times, then knocked out my roommate and told me I should give up on my job with your boss, she thought with a sarcastic tone.

“I fell last night and, unfortunately, my doorknob was in the way. It hurt a lot.” She lied. He bit the inside of his cheeks then nodded. She could tell he didn’t believe her, but apparently he pretended he did.

“Stupid doorknob,” He said, his jaw muscles clenching, he was pissed, but also worried, which surprised her, why would he worry about her?

“Yeah…” She said. He stood up and walked towards his computer system, holding on to the table, she could see that his arms had the veins popped, and that he was clenching his fist on the edge of the table. She wanted to scoff, but then thought it might be a bad idea, so she pretended she was oblivious to his sudden rage.

“Chaerin, I think you might know by now that I care for you, and if anyone, at any moment, ever try to hurt you, I’ll murder him or her with my own hands, you know it right?” He said, not looking at her, his eyes were fixed on the recording room. Chaerin smiled and stood up, walking next to him, she grabbed his hand, he slowly let go of the edge of the table and let her grab it. She intertwined their fingers and caressed the top of his hand. She knew it was wrong, but it was as if her body was moving by itself.

“Jiyong,” She said, and with her other hand, grabbed his chin, turning his face towards her. His eyes were small with anger, but they seemed to soften by her sight. “I know you would, and I’m grateful, but you ought to know I’m quite capable of defending myself.” She said. He scoffed and put his left hand on her cheek.

“Oh, I know that, it’s the one who hurts you I’m worried about.” He said and she smiled nodding.

“I’ll be worried too about that person.” She said, earning a smile from the man who turned her world upside down.

As Chaerin walked towards the elevator, she remembered the little piece of paper Seungri handed her. She smiled at Jiyong who was standing on the door of the studio, smiling at her. They spent a few hours laughing and being fools with the guitar, their favorite hobby. She realized she enjoyed his presence too much, so she told him, as always, she had to go. He had begged her to stay, but she insisted she had stuffs to do before the party that night, so he let her go, probably thinking it had to do with her apparel.

She quickly entered the elevator and pushed the button to the lowest floor of the building and grabbed the piece of paper. It was written in a messy handwriting, only the words ‘meet me downstairs’ were readable. She looked at the buttons of the elevator and smiled as she coincidentally pushed the button to the lowest level.

As the elevator made it towards the lowest level, she took a deep breath, she had no idea what she would be encountering there, not after seeing his face the night before, his dark eyes staring at Jiyong as he walked towards the elevator, the same one she was stepping out from. She looked around and, to her surprise, saw him in the same spot she saw him the night before, and a shudder ran through her spine as she walked towards him, her hand unconsciously close to the dagger, now on her hips.

“Hello.” She said as she got close enough for him to hear her. He looked at her, his eyes wore dark circles under them, signaling the lack of sleep their owner gave them. His hands were on his pockets, his hair messed up, like he had been grabbing it constantly, and a faint smile greeted her.

“Hi.” He said. She walked towards the bench next to him and sit, he walked towards the one in the front and sat, his hands still on his pockets. “You and Jiyong… are you serious?” He said, the politeness long gone.

“Please Seunghyun, is that why you called me here?” She said. He gave her a crooked smile and nodded, but she knew there was no humor on his smile whatsoever.

“I just can’t believe you had a liking for fame, and since you’ve become a professional liar, I thought I should warn you.” He said. Chaerin felt an urge to strangle him, but let it go with a slight smile.

“Warn me about what?” She said, controlling her tone.

“About Jiyong, of course,” He said. “I honestly don’t think he’s taking you seriously. After all, he does have this for hot girls.” He said. Chaerin imagined herself falling on her knees, laughing her off in front of him. As she imagined herself like that, she realized one thing, one crucial thing. She didn’t felt any more than pure annoyance in front of Seungri, which, she could tell, was a nice feeling.

“Seunghyun, I’m afraid I don’t care about what you think, or about Jiyong’s es, honestly.” She said. She could see his face contouring, like if her words had hit a frail spot on his inner self. “And, I don’t see why you would care about Jiyong and I. As long as I’m concerned, we are not obliged to each other. In fact, it’s all in the past, as you well stated it.” She said.

“Is it really? I’m afraid I do have a say on this matter. We’re a band, Jiyong, Daesung, Youngbae, TOP and I are a band, and we owe each other respect.” He said.

“And I fail to see where Jiyong is disrespecting you.” She countered.

“He’s dating my ex-girlfriend, isn’t that some sort of… disrespectful act?” He said, his voice was firm, but his eyes were betraying him.

“He doesn’t know about it. And to be honest, I don’t want him to, I don’t want to have your name mentioned in my future, and if it has to be spoken, I want you to only be Jiyong’s colleague, Jiyong’s band mate, not my ex-boyfriend.” She said, her tone turning aggressive, and she knew this was starting to get too informal for her taste.

“Is that what you want?” His voice had already lost its firmness, and now it was some sort of a mixture of shock and disappointment.

“Yes, Seunghyun, that’s all I ever wanted since we parted ways, five years ago. I think you already know you mean nothing to me.” She said and stood up. “I believe this conversation is over and this topic is buried, am I right?” She said, staring at him. Seungri slowly nodded, looking to the side, she knew she’d broken into his mask, and she was glad she did. He never showed any signs of regrets while she cried endless nights. If he ever loved her, he never showed it, not even when he was supposed to, telling her the words that linger on her mind countless times, ‘You were not supposed to feel.’ He had told her, and he was right, but now, she didn’t felt anything. She didn’t hate him, but neither loved him, it was just a respect she owed him, and, well, he was Jiyong’s band mate.  

And as she walked towards the elevator, she cursed in her mind. Since when she had to respect Seungri because he was in Jiyong’s band? She looked at her reflection on the elevator’s door and cursed, I’ve gotten involved, just great, she thought.