The day Jin and I broke up, we went our separate ways. I would usually cope with it on my own but the first day is always tough. I ended up coming into leader's room. I needed a distraction and he was the only one who was able to comfort me due to the fact that he understood and knew of our relationship very well.

"Hyosang!"

"N-nae?"

"Cheer up will you? We'll go out for a couple of drinks afterwards if you want. Sound good?"

"Sure..." I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Maybe I just needed a night out to clear my thoughts. Eventually, he came into the producing room and found me writing a song. He peeked over and started singing it in tune from the notes he saw on the sheet of music.

"P-Goon!" I was shocked.

"Yo. Ready to go?"

"In a bit. I'm writing out some possible songs we can sing for our album."

"Don't forget, managernim said you have a solo."

"Haha yes I know. This is the solo I'm working on.'

"Is that so?"

"Yes it is."

"Arasso then." he smiled and waited for me.

I decided maybe now wasn't the best time to finish the song. Some other day when I'm alone I'll think about it. I had too many things fogging up my mind at the moment. The break up with Jin hurt but I was the one who enforced it afterall. I'm not saying that I don't miss him. It's just... I feel sick. I really shouldn't have done what I did that caused me to feel guilty and lead to me breaking up with him. I had to learn to move on though. I know he won't take me back. Not for a long shot.

Finally, P-Goon and I decided to leave. We grabbed our coats and headed out. Apparently, we were followed. HoJoon and B-Joo decided to join in. It was just the four of us or so we thought. Eventually came Jenissi. P-Goon finally stopped to ask them if anyone else was coming. They all shook their heads. P-Goon looked stressed enough as it is. He seemed to only want to spend time with me but certain circumstances wouldn't let that be. We finally arrived at the place we were going to drink ourselves away. We were by a mini bizaar down the Han River that runs through Seoul.

We all sat down when we spotted an empty table. P-Goon looked around to see if anyone at this time was taking orders. I had decided to get up and pick up the drinks myself from the food truck. I approached the food truck and bought five beers and dry squid. People who are tourists here in Korea find it odd to eat squid like this but I would honestly recommend it to them as a small taste of what Korea's all about. I was starting to head back to the table when I spot Jin form the corner of my eyes. He was with 'him'. At the moment, I hadn't known that he and Namjoon were together. I sighed, iritated and decided to ignore it. I sat down and was almost immediately tackled down by HoJoon. He really wanted to drink.

I distributed the drinks and looked down at my hands. I had started thinking about what I could say or do to get Jin back. Jin... I don't know why I'm still holding onto him. I know I shouldn't. P-Goon finally took notice of my sulking and shook his head. He sighed and smacked the back of my head.

“Ya. Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” I responded back angrily.

B-Joo and HoJoon already started looking buzzed. They both walked off and bought more drinks, coming back with five more for us all. I glared at them and looked back at P-Goon.

“Shouldn’t you be monitoring them?”

“What for? Let them. There’s always a consequence to drinking too much.”

I sighed and crossed my arms. Jenissi was silently drinking and just paying attention to our conversation. He wasn’t much of a talker when P-Goon was around. I always wondered why. I sighed.

It was about three in the morning now when we were all on our sixth drink. We all obviously had too much. I can't say that it wasn't funny to see HoJoon's and B-Joo's reactions. They were priceless. They were completely buzzed. I felt my mind fog up. Everything seemed a blurr to me. I felt numb almost but in a good way. We all got up and started to head back to our dorms. I had thought that everyone was with us but as things turned out, it was just me and P-Goon now. I leaned my head against his arm and sighed.

"Hyosang?"

"It's hard... love that is."

"Really? It seemed easy when you were with SeokJin.."

"Who?" I smirked playfully.

"Aish... is that why you wanted to drink?"

"Mmm.."

"Hyosang I think we all had too much but you look completely.."

"Completely what?" I laughed. I felt myself losing it. I didn't have a care in the world. Then, a sudden thought crossed my mind.

I leaned in and kissed him. It was a warm feeling. I hadn't felt this happy in a long time. Within seconds, he was kissing back. He cupped my face and kept kissing me. I was completely taken over by him. We eventually got to the dorm and headed into his room. He put me up against the wall, keeping my legs around his waist as he kept kissing me. I let out soft moans of pleasure. He moved his tongue into my mouth, and I playfully fought back and pressed my own tongue against his. I ran my hands through his hair and gasped when he started making his way down my neck. 

I don't know what happened next but it was a wonderful experience. I looked over to my side and smiled gently at him. We were both under the sheets, dawn already having had come as we layed there silently. I caressed his hair and got closer against him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and opened his eyes.

"Are you okay Kidoh?"

"Mmm... better than I can ever be."

Finally, the alcohol had its effect. I ran to the bathroom, starting to vomit my guts out. I groaned, keeping my arms around my stomach as I hovered above the toilet. I coughed and finally looked up into the mirror. I started washing my teeth and my face. Finally, I took a moment and looked at myself in the mirror. Once I saw myself, I began to cry. I fell to my knees and kept crying.

I love you so much.. why did I let go? Who am I to have had broken up with someone I really truly loved? Do you miss me?

Why bother?

I was a mistake to begin with...

Ever since the beginning...

I'm sorry to have been such a disappointment..

I promise...

"I will disappear...." I wiped my tears away and pulled the sleeve of my robe up.

"I promise....."