Hyosung awakened in a haze of pain, not only in her chest but her bones and joints as well - everything was throbbing and it hurt. Even when she squinted her eyes from the blinding bright lights streaming through the window, the pounding in her head got heavier and her breathing got shallower. Dizziness washed over when she pushed herself up, causing her to fall back into the pillow. What’s happening? Her vision got blurry so she shook her head in hoping to clear it off but it stayed.

She realized her teeth were chattering violently and how cold she was, as if there was ice trapped beneath her skin, she hugged herself tighter in attempt to escape the cold. She was then suddenly left gasping for air, as if her lungs constricted and leave little space for air to gain entrance. Panicking, she willed herself to sit up and reached for the emergency button, shaky fingers stretched out but it was too far beyond her reach. She pushed herself further and it caused her to tumble down the bed, landing on the floor with a loud thud and she felt a momentary pain when her head collided with something hard.

And that was the last thing she remembered before everything faded to black.

Rain pummelled against the window from the dark clouds overhead, and it had been for the past three days – as if the sky was crying for her as well. Hyosung was still unconscious; lying on the bed, hooked with multiple tubes and oxygen mask, she looked frailer than ever and his heart wrenched at the sight. The beeping sound of the heartbeat monitor strangely pacified him, at least it let him know she was still breathing and alive.

The day he found her sprawled on the floor was the most terrifying moment in his life. She needs a donor fast, the medications we are giving her can only last for after sometimes. That was what Dr. Ga-Eul told him after Hyosung was rushed to the emergency room, as if hinting that Hyosung might ... God, the thought of it pained him but it triggered him to work right away to search for donor aside from the help of Dr. Ga-Eul. It was a long tiring process to find the right match, getting people to test and everything but he didn’t care. For Hyosung, he’ll endure it. He needed to.

“Woohyun confessed, again, on tv that you’re his ideal type. How dare him. If I could only get my hand on that boy,” Kikwang gritted his teeth to suppress his annoyance while holding onto her bony fingers as he sat beside her. He kissed them, hoping for some response and so far there was none. “And you know what? I just knew that there’s actually a fanclub formed for you by our fellow celeb friends. I think it’s called ... Hyosung Idol-Fanboys FC? The nerve these people possessed amazes me. They knew about us, and yet ... Augh. You’ll be surprised to see all names on the list!” He chuckled.

And this was how his visits were mostly spent ever since the day. After he was done with all the schedules, he’d come to see her. He would sit by her side and talked to her about his day, or sometimes he’d play songs for her on his guitar, or he’ll just sit there with her hands entangled in his and sang to her because he knew she can hear him. He could feel it. But just for once, he hoped that she would at least give a slight movement, to tell him everything’s fine and that it’s going to be okay. But she remained motionless except the rise and fall of her chest, the only indication that she was still breathing.

A knock on the door brought him back to reality, and her sisters walked towards him. They’ve been by her side, just like him, taking turns to look after Hyosung which relieved him seeing how he couldn’t be there all the time, thanks to work. Seeing them always caused a prick in his heart, seeing how they resembled so much like Hyosung – the gummy smile runs in the family.

“Kikwang-ah, go and get some rest. we’ll take over from here, okay?” Hyosung’s elder sister, Hyo Ri, patted him on the back and offered him a reassuring smile. “Here, I’ve prepared some food for you. Eat up, all right? Look at you, all bones and no meat. You should eat more. Do you want our Hyo to nag you once she’s awaken? Now go.”

“Thank you so much, noona. I’ll leave her to you guys then. I’ll be back in a while, okay? Miss me please,” He kissed Hyosung’s forehead and dodged the punch from the now laughing Hyo Ri. “Noona, don’t be jealous! Laters!”

Passing rooms after rooms along the corridor, he saw a woman who couldn’t stop vomiting and crying children accompanied by anxious parents. Nurses bustled around the main station, busy with their own work. It amazed him that so many people could be sick that night, yet he knew most of them will be gone by tomorrow. Hyousung, on the other hand was stuck here and battling her life against cancer. She won't be discharged anytime soon.

He weaved through the crowds toward the stairs, and then he sprint up. He ran and ran until he reached the rooftop. As the door swung shut behind him, he could hear the sound of his footfalls before stopping and he stood there for a long minute, heaving heavily. He could almost hear himself thinking, and as he moved, he felt a wave of exhaustion, nausea and relief coursing through him. He could finally drop the pretence bravery he put up in front of everyone, sick of them being worried about him when they shouldn’t. He wanted them to worry about Hyosung instead. He fell knee first to the floor, rain was slowly soaking through his clothes but he didn't care. He needed this, he need to let it out from his messed up system. He cried, just like how the sky was crying as well.

He was so lost in thought that didn’t realize he was completely drenched by the rain when his phone blared out loud. He fumbled with it as he walked back inside, thankful that it was still working despite of the wetness, and as he answered it he knew something was wrong when Hyo Ri’s crying voice broke through. Hyosung.

He ran, slipped and fell, stood back up and ran again with all his might. No no no. Please don’t! His heart was literally banging against his chest, as if it’ll explode anytime from the intense suspense he was feeling right then. Upon reaching near to Hyosung’s room, he saw Hyo Ri and Hyo Rin sobbing hard as they hugged each other tightly. He barged into the room even when there was a nurse in charge blocking his way, and witnessed Hyosung’s body jerked violently as she was shocked by the defibrillator. The heart monitor was’t beeping anymore, contrary to how his heart was.

“What’s going on?!” He was frantically shaking the nurse. “Hyosung-ah!”

“Mr. Lee, please stay back!”

Everything seemed to be in slow motion. Hyosung's body jerked again after being charged, the nurse pushing him away, the doctor screaming orders, he felt like his world stopped right that instance.

“Clear!”

No changes. They shocked her again.

“Clear!”

Nothing.

“Clear!”

Still nothing.

The room was buzzing with intense voices and actions; the doctor trying hard to regain Hyosung’s heartbeat while the nurse would give her CPR after the shock. Hyo Ri and Hyo Rin were already beside him, wailing for her to wake up. Kikwang on the other hand was rooted the spot, motionless and the only thing he could listen was his thundering heart as his eyes never left her. It's as if he was watching a scene from a movie.

“Ya pabo! Wake up ... don’t do this to me! Don’t do this to us. You can’t leave us like this! Hyosung-ah! Wake up, please! Wake up wake up wake up!” He didn’t know how he got there, but he was already by her side with their fingers latched, literally shaking Hyosung. He was desperate. She can’t leave him, no! She can’t! Instantly, multiple hands grabbed his body and pulled him away but he refused to budge. He was terrified to leave her again. In between all the hassle and screams within that moment, he suddenly felt her squeezing their fingers and his eyes widened. It went limp again, and that was the last thing he felt before they managed to haul him away and pulled him outside.

“Clear!”

It was the last thing he heard before he felt as if his entire body system shut down, and then his world went black.

Kikwang was awaken by the cool swipe of wet clothe across his forehead, and he cracked his eyes open only to see that he’s in an unfamiliar room – everything was painted white. Where was he? What happened? When he suddenly remembered Hyosung, he sat up immediately and a sudden intense headache coursed through him before a hand pushed him back tenderly onto the pillow.

“Lay down, honey. You’re still weak.” His mother’s soft whispers soothe him from the pounding in his head. He shut his eyes tight and took a deep breath, and snapped it back open when he thought of Hyosung.

“Hyosung ...”

“Is fine. Don’t worry, honey.”

“Is she really? Thank god ... Can I go see her? Where is she? How’s she doing?”

“My goodness, one question at time. She’s doing perfectly fine but they’re keeping their eyes on her just in case. No, you can’t go see her. She just fell asleep not long ago, maybe later okay?”

“But I want to see her. Please.”

“Stay put, you need more rest. Don’t force yourself, mister.” Mrs. Lee ran her fingers through her son’s hair. It turned out that he passed out right after they dragged him away from Hyosung, and it had been twenty four hours. Twenty four damn hours! Wow. The Beast boys came for a visit that afternoon, bearing the news that he was given rest by Hong-hyung until he got fully recover, and as for now Dongwoon and Yoseob will be filling the spot for him on Win Win and Inkigayo while he was at it. These two couldn’t be any happier, especially Yoseob since he’s finally able to MC along with IU. Instead of worrying over him, which he knew Yoseob actually does, he talked non-stop about what to wear in front of IU and such. The nurses had to shoo them out because they didn’t want to leave even after visiting hours was over.

After they said their goodbyes, Kikwang was lulled back to sleep when he was given shot by the nurse. He woke up a good couple of hours later, feeling much better, only to find out he was in a completely different room. The room was darkened except for the dim light that came from a partly shrouded window and from the hallway, and he couldn’t help but notice the annoying beeping sound. Suddenly, he felt a tender touch on his hand and a dark figure loomed besides him. Thinking it was a ghost, his heart accelerated and he managed to scream before the hand covered his mouth and shushed him.

“Shhh. It’s me!”

Her soothing whispers calmed down his wildly beating heart in an instant, and he covered her hand with his as he sat up. Even in the dim darkness, he could make out her feature clearly. How could he not? This right here had been etched permanently in his memory, everything about her, and he was just so glad to actually see her in front of him. Moving, instead of motionless like she was before.

He felt something shake loose inside, like the first pebbles skittering downhill before an avalanche as he hugged her close to him, and he wept. He didn’t realize he had cried that long until he noticed how wet her clothe was. Her hands felt warm as she rubbed his back, and every time he paused to sniff and gasp for a little air, he heard her breathing. That alone brought peace to his heart. She whispered to him words of comfort; Telling him she’s fine, everything is fine, nothing's wrong, she was there.

After a long while, his sobs came to a stop and he was laying on her lap, holding their latched fingers as close to him as possible. He was afraid to let go, the thought of her slipping away terrified him. Hyosung ran her free hand in his hair over and over again, and it soothed him even more like it always did.

“I miss you so much,” Kikwang kissed her palm tenderly as he laid there, his breathing was normal again. To have her in his arms just tranquilized every emotion back to normal.

“I miss you too.” She kissed his temple and their entangled fingers softly.

“How are you feeling?"

"Never better."

"When did you wake up? You need an ample amount of rest, so let’s go back to sleep.”

“No.”

“Baby come on. You have to.”

“I can’t.” She choked and Kikwang could feel the distress in her voice so he rose from her lap and he could sense her fear as he stared into her eyes. A stray tear dropped onto his hands when he cupped her face in his palms. “I’m afraid that if I do, I won’t wake up again ... that scares me. I can't ...”

“Oh baby it won’t be like that. Come here,” It didn’t strike him that was what she feared of until she emphasize on it. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair repeatedly, knowing that it was his turn to calm her down. She wasn’t sobbing, just trembling – hard. He rocked their body back and forth while humming to her favourite song, and they sat like that for a long time. Neither of them moved or said anything until finally she broke the silence in words so quiet he almost didn’t catch them.

“I was afraid that I’ll lose the battle and never get to see you anymore ...” Her voice quivered before starting to weep again.

“Never.” His breath caught and before he could stop them, a few tears of his own had leaked out again. He leaned his head over hers and shut his eyes tight; her words struck him on how terrifying it is to even think about it. Her hands came up to brush his cheeks, wiping away moisture before it rested on his jaw and he turned his head and kissed her palm. He pulled her in closer, the need for her to be in his arms was too great for him to resist and she huddled herself closer to him.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could do something ... anything, to take your pain away.” He said in voice full of grieve. Slowly she raised her head and met his eyes once again, a broken smile on her face as she brought her hands around to cup his face, smoothed his hair off his forehead and wiped traces of tears away.

“You’ve done enough, Kikwang-ah. Believe it or not, but your presence is my actual medicine. You know, all the while I was unconscious, I can actually hear you. I love the song that you played for me, it was beautiful. And Hyosung Idol-Fanboys FC? I didn’t know I was that famous. It was really funny when I heard you getting all worked up about it. Don’t worry, you’ll always be my number one fanboy, okay?” She chuckled when he grunted. Trust her to make a joke in a situation like this. She then gripped his fingers tighter when she recalled the agonizing moments, “I love that I can always hear your voice, because it was really scary to be unconscious yet I was still aware with my surroundings. Your voice was the only thing that kept me fighting. So, thank you.”

“I’m glad it helps. Hey, I just realized our beds are joined together. No wonder the bed feels big.” He run his fingers along the slope of her nose before pinching it playfully, obviously trying to cheer up the dampen situation. He can’t let her be depressed again. “Smile please, I really miss to see that gummy teethy smile.”

Hyosung broke into her usual happy smiles, even though it didn’t really reach her eyes, but that will do. He really did miss it. Heck, he missed her. Everything about her.

“Come, let’s go back to sleep. You need it, okay? I’m here.” He assured her, though he saw the hesitation in her eyes but it was quickly replaced with her smile and she nodded. They lay in each other’s arm, her head on his shoulder while his chin atop of hers. He breathe in her scent deeply, it intoxicate him in a good way. He felt safe having her in his arms.

“Oppa will keep you safe, okay?”

“Oppa? Since when do we use that?”

“Since now. I just realized you never did call me oppa. Why?”

“Erm, I don’t know. It’s a little annoying, really. Too cutesy.”

“Well, I like you being cutesy because you look really cute when you’re acting like one.”

“Oh my god, when did I ever act “cutesy”? You’re lying.”

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

“Ouch, that hurts. How could you. Fine, Kikwang is sad now. Kikwang don’t want to talk to you then. Hmmmph.” Pretending that he was, Kikwang turned his back to her. After a good one minute passed by, and she still didn’t console him, he got impatient so he turned back to face her.

“Yah, aren’t you going to console me? I’m sulking here.” And only to find out she was already sleeping soundly next to him, slightly opened, and he could feel her breath on his face. He smiled as he her cheek, thinking how she can always messed up his mood but yet he could never bring himself to be angry at her for a long time. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually was genuinely happy, when troubles loomed above them for the past week, and teasing her made him realized that. He reached up and brushed the hair from her face and lightly touched his lips to hers.

“Sweet dreams, love,” he murmured and he gathered her body closer to him, not wanting to feel any distance between them, and kissed her lips once more. Just as sleep was about to induce him, he felt a feather soft peck on his lips and Hyosung cuddled herself closer to him.

“Sweet dreams too, oppa,” He could sense her smiling giddily when she said it, and he felt himself grinning too, so he tightened his hold on her and whispered, “Oppa love you so much. Good night.”

“You are loving this a lot, aren’t you? Just so you know, I’m not going to stick to that.” She chuckled as her face lay atop of his chest and breathed in his scent, his presence, and she snuggled closer. “I love you so much too, oppa.”

They both laughed quietly before finally succumbing to sleep in each other’s arms.

Author's note:

Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update, I fell asleep before I could update this yesterday! Sorry :(

So anyway, so many Kikwang + Hyosung goodness happened last week and I can literally say I died of happiness when it happened. Did you guys watch Inkigayo yesterday? Kikwang and Hyosung were standing next to each other, and they were like so shy! ASDFGHJKL. Too cute! Seriously, I want them to date. Or at least be very very very goodfriends. Love can develops from friendship so I'm hoping that it will. At least I'm hoping for that. lol! And when that happens, I want them to come out in public and say they're dating. Sad though, I can see that it'll be pretty hard to happen seeing how judgemental some fans can be. Psh. If lets say they were to be attack by all the hatreds, I'll freaking take down these antis one by one if I have to. Don't you dare mess around with my all time favourite OTP, ever. LOL, again for being so delusional. *slaps self.

lol. Okay, am rambling useless things. Sorry.

Enjoy! Thank you guys for still reading this. I love you guys so much!