Ding!

Kikwang reached out to his phone and read the message.

Let’s meet up, we need to talk.

Dumbfounded, he replied back the message to Joon.

Arraso, hyung.

Just tell me when and where.

The reply came instantly a minute later.

Tonight, 10pm at Han River.

I’ll be waiting.

Kikwang was further more bemused with Joon’s sudden text, but he ignored it. They haven’t hang out for quite a while, so why not? Kikwang look at the time and he still had a couple of hours to go. He heard a funny sound suddenly, which turned out to be his tummy.

“Aish, behgopah (I’m hungry). Hyung, wanna go out for ddukbokki?” Kikwang looked over to Hyunseung, who was dancing at the side. Hyunseung stopped and looked over at Kikwang with sweat trickling down his forehead, he flopped down on the floor before agreeing to it a minute later, spent.

“Ddukbokki? Did I hear ddukbokki? I want some too!” Came a loud reply outside their practice room. Doojoon suddenly busted in and raced to Kikwang, hugging him playfully from behind while pouting. “I want ddubokki too! I want ddubokki too!”

 “Arasso. Let’s all go then! Gaja!” Kikwang laughed at the reaction. Doojoon-hyung can be really childish at times, which contrasted his tough image as a leader. Having no elder brother, Kikwang set him as an exemplary big brother. Doojoon would be there for him when he needed someone to confide to, regarding everything that went on around him. Sometimes it felt like Doojoon’s more like a father rather than a brother, and he chuckled at the thought.

Wearing their hoodies up with bandanna wrapped half of their faces, they walked to their favourite ddubokki stall which was only a block away. They must had look like a bunch of gangsters strutting down the street, because people made their way for them as they passed by.

“Daeeebak! We should dress up like this more often, don’t you think? It feels good no one’s following us. Yeahhh.” Yoseob commented when they reached the stall, already ordering food right away. Junhyung, who was already munching down on the food just nodded, clearly famished from the long training session. Doojoon suggested they eat the food somewhere else, and agreed with Kikwang to go to Han River.

“Ah, it’s been long since we come here! KOREAAA, I’M HOME! Come on faster, slowpokes!” Yoseob shouted impatiently at them, already running half way down the slope. Dongwoon joined Yoseob, cart-wheeling all the way down.

“Ya! Keep it low will you, your voice is really distinctive. There might be B2UTIES around here. If I get mob, I’ll throw you inside the river. Ara?” Junhyung warned Yoseob as they made their way to a secluded area to eat.

Junhyung was really serious when it comes to privacy; he hated it when it’s being invaded. It’s not that he doesn’t love his fans, but there are times when you just really need no one pulling your shirts all over. He was furious when his relationship with Hara got exposed, as he feared for her safety knowing how the saesang fans would react to it. Remembering how Hyosung was attacked left him shivering, and he pitied Kikwang for having to face such ordeal.

They were enjoying the gorgeous night view of Han River while eating in silence. The snow had completely stopped, baring the mother earth to them again. It felt nice eating like this after a long while, Kikwang thought. He couldn’t remember the last time they did it.

“So, how are you and Hyosung? You went to see her the other day right?” Hyunseung broke the silence, gulping on his drink as he enjoy the river view. The rest of them were already laying on the cold grass, staring up at the stars. Meanwhile, Dongwoon was busy giving Yoseob a piggy-back ride before tripping, and both fell face flat on the ground. Ouch.

“Molla. I mean, she slapped me. And the next thing you know, we’re talking like we’re best buds again. It feels ... not right. Don’t get me wrong, it was probably the happiest day of my life but ... ah, jinja molla hyung.” Kikwang sighed, closing his eyes. “It’s a little too fast to get to that stage, don’t you think? After what I did ...”

“Hey, it’s okay. Take it slowly. Work it out with her when you got the time, explain everything and make her understand why you did it. Ara? Don’t rush; it’ll ruin your conciliation. Great things are done with calmness.” Doojoon assured him, then he chortled. “At least, that’s what I thought.”

Kikwang just lay there in silence, pondering on Doojoon’s advice. All right, I’ll take things slowly. I need to have a one-to-one with her first. The awkwardness between us is just too unbearable. Kikwang closed his eyes once again, almost falling asleep when his phone rang so he immediately reached for his phone.

“Ya, odi seo (where are you)?” Joon’s voice sounded impatient at the other line.

“Ah! Mianhe, hyung! I forgot. I’ll be right there. Where you at? I’m already at Han River,”

“Aish, jinjja. I’m near the entrance. I’ll wait you there.” With that, Joon ended the conversation.

Ah, booya? Kikwang was taken aback with Joon’s sudden hostility towards him. He shrugged it off, then waved the boys goodbye as he proceed to meet Joon. Joon was clad more or less like him, hands in both pockets, standing nearby the entrance pillar. He waved to Kikwang and directed him to follow him, Kikwang just obeyed. They stopped at the river bank, sat down in silence while breathing in the night view.

“Why ...?” Joon finally voiced out. Kikwang stared at him, puzzled.

“Why ... what, hyung?”

“Why did you come back ...? Why? When everything’s going perfectly fine, and you happened! Why!” Joon stared at him, breathing hard from rage.

Kikwang was further baffled with Joon’s sudden outburst, trying to comprehend the situation but failed. He didn’t expect this at all. “Hyung, I’m sorry but I don’t understand.” Kikwang eyed him, his brows wrinkled.

A blow suddenly landed on his face, causing him to hurl to the ground. For a moment he thought he saw stars, before regaining his conscious. A hot liquid trickled down the side of his mouth, and he wiped it off knowing what it was.

“What the heck, hyung?!” Kikwang stared up angrily at Joon, who was looking down at him with a satisfactory smug.

“That, is for Hyosung. You. You made her suffer, did you know that? Oh, wait. That was your intention when you left her for Japan, didn’t you? Did you know how hard it was for her to accept the fact that you left to pursue your superstar dreams? Did her love mean nothing to you, for you to that to her?” Joon continuously to spat out angrily.

“Did you know that she was admitted to hospital several times due to huge depression? NO YOU DON’T. You were just too busy getting famous, why should you care right? Did you know how fragile she looked back then, looking so thin, I felt like if I touch her she’ll break down to pieces! She was on the brink of insanity! Imagine, the bubbly cheerful Hyosung like that! I was the one who was there for her when she needed support. NOT YOU! I was the one who help her regain her old bubbly self when she thought she’d forever be in the darkness. NOT YOU! I was the one who was always there to see her being punctured by those stupid hospital needles when she got admitted. NOT YOU! But why? WHY does she have to turn back to you? Why does she still love you when all you gave her was pain? Why can’t she love me? ME! Why do you have to come back now? Why ...?”

With that, Joon fell down on his knees and doubled over on the grass and let out a loud frustrated groan. He punch the ground so hard, Kikwang know there’ll be bruises by tomorrow. Kikwang sat not far from where he fell, astounded. Everything was rushing in too fast, he was flabbergasted.

Hyosung was hospitalized? His informant didn’t say anything about that! Thinking about it, he said nothing! All he said was that Hyosung was doing perfectly fine without him. Which was one of the reason why he acted the way he acted in Japan. To know that she was suffering too was ... he couldn’t even put it into words.

“Hyung. Mianhe ... I didn’t know,” was all Kikwang could think of. Joon was still laying on the ground, his breathing got regular again after some minutes passed by when he finally sat up and looked at Kikwang.

“Peegonhae (I’m tired), Kikwang-ah. Jinjja peegonhae,”  Joon sighed in defeat. “I think I need to go now before I hurt you again. Mianhe ...”

With that Joon stood up and walked away, leaving Kikwang trailing his eyes on his slowly disappearance into the crowd. Kikwang didn’t even know how to react to what just happened, as he sat there still dazed.

I’ve wronged you, kittee.

Mianhe. Jinjja, mianhe.

*Kittee is a nickname Kikwang made up for Hyosung, btw!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I promise I'll post a happy chapter next time. Arasso?

HEHE. Thanks for reading! ^^