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FIGHTING!

<3

So depressing to write this....

Chapter 8:

For some reason Minwoo wasn’t shocked to hear that question. His body felt relaxed and totally normal as he lifted his gaze to Dongwan and sent a glare that was both meaningful and scary. Dongwan felt shivers on his body but that subsided as soon as Minwoo began to talk.

“What do you want to know? I’ll tell you everything: from the beginning to the end.”

Dongwan bowed his head to take a look at his hands. “I know the beginning Minwoo…it was wonderful…that’s why I want to know, why we broke up?”

Minwoo’s heart clenched to the comment ‘wonderful’.

“I played with your heart, Dongwan.” He whispered. “I played with your mind, with your body, with your soul.”

The smaller man felt his stomach twirling after each word Minwoo let out of his mouth.

“I hurt you mentally and physically.” Minwoo mumbled. “I used you in every single bad way. I made you suffer.”

Dongwan squeezed his hands to fists.

“I fell in love with another person.” Minwoo stated: his voice filled with something Dongwan didn’t understand.

“You fell in love with another person?” Younger male asked.

Minwoo snorted. “Not just a person, Dongwan. I fell in love to a girl. To a girl, who, with a slight movement of her hips, managed to pull me towards her. You never did that Dongwan. You never appealed to me like that.” That wasn’t supposed to sound so cruel and sadistic.

Dongwan felt something indescribably fiery rising inside him when Minwoo sighed exasperated.

“I never even regretted it what I did to you,” Minwoo went on. “I just thought it was okay…because you were only an experiment, a trash I could throw away after getting bored with it.” He added. “One of those dates I harshly left to a street after single night.”

Dongwan bit his lower lip.

“I had no time to regret all the things I had done to you when I was with her.” Minwoo spoke disgustingly. “I had no mind, no heart, no soul, to even think about all those stupid things I never actually remembered. Only thing I saw was her. She blinded me like a drug that pulls me to the darkness where’s no turning back. She managed to make me forget you and just think that she was all I needed.” He scoffed.

“Why?” Dongwan felt every single muscle inside him tensing and burning, his hands clasping onto his knees while his eyes were fixed to Minwoo’s face.

“I fell in love. Love blinded me.” Minwoo muttered.

“So…so…you were the reason why I can’t remember!?” Dongwan got up from the bench startling the man. “You poisoned my mind about love and then, when I was head over heels towards you, waiting to be happy with you, you threw me away like a can of beer after you’ve ended it. You made me believe that there was something wrong with me because the one I loved didn’t love me back and only wanted someone else!” he said.

Minwoo couldn’t utter a word.

“I was practically dying inside every time I watched some show with you and her on it. You, smiling with her, holding her hand and speaking to her with your disgusting ‘cute’ voice.” Dongwan told. “You kissed her on a live performance and every time you said, ‘I love her’, my heart burst into pieces.”

Minwoo turned to look at the other guy with wide eyes as he got up from the bench and stared at him in shock. “D-D-Dongwan…you…you…”

The said man started to cry: his eyes fixed to Minwoo’s, lower lip trembling.

“I loved you, Lee Minwoo.”

…

“Oppa,” Amy said.

“Mmm?” Minwoo sneered absentmindedly.

“You haven’t touched your food.” She commented.

Minwoo nodded.

“Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” Minwoo murmured.

Amy knew that was a lie but Minwoo never really was that kind of ‘open’ person. He held his troubles inside. Though maybe, if Amy had been actually interested, she would’ve asked what was wrong with her boyfriend, but since Minwoo was a complicated person with a complicated love life, she decided to leave the man alone. There were times when they talked…a lot…but Minwoo just felt saddening after talking for hours. She wasn’t into that stuff. Although she was a girl.

“Okay,” Amy shrugged and stuffed with food.

“Well, actually…” Minwoo placed his chopsticks down. “There’s something I have to say,”

Amy blinked her eyes. “Yeah? What is it?”

“I’ve started to think…about the people I’ve hurt.” Minwoo explained. “And…to sort of like…settle this thing up…I’ve thought about this relationship a lot…lately.” He continued.

Amy angled her head.

“You haven’t hurt me, oppa.” She said.

Minwoo nodded. “Yeah,” he cleared his throat before he lifted his eyes to the girl and said, “but I’m going to.”

…

 “Minwoo,” Dongwan pleaded.

“What?”

“Do you remember the time when I asked you how much do you like me?”

“Yup,”

“Well,” Dongwan blushed cutely as he removed his hand from the main dancer’s hand and turned his back at him. “I’ve been wondering that…ummm…that….”

“Wannie,” Minwoo grabbed that hand again and made him turn around. “I love you.”

Dongwan’s eyes widened.

“I love you Kim Dongwan. Isn’t that what I wrote to your guitar, huh?” Minwoo laughed.

Dongwan smiled. “Yes…yes you did.”

“So,” Minwoo leaned in. “What about you? Do you love me?”

A nod. A mere nod.

“I want you to say it.” Minwoo whispered. “Just to me. No one’s here after all.”

Dongwan gulped shyly. “I…I…I love you Lee Minwoo.”

The smile widened on the other man’s face when he cupped Dongwan’s face and pulled his lips at his. “Yeah, you do.” He mumbled.

Dongwan threw his pillow at the wall when he felt the tears draining from his eyes again. He hadn’t wanted to remember so soon. All the memories flooded back into his mind as soon as Minwoo had regained them and not being able to go back, Dongwan was suffering…once again. It hurt. It hurt every single place in and out of his body and even if he had tried to get rid of the feelings, he had the scars left.

His head was pounding.

Legs were trembling.

Mouth was quivering.

And arms were shivering from the shoulders to the fingers.

Minwoo was silent. Too silent. He had never been that silent in his life. Dongwan stared at him a while before he squatted down next to him and lifted his hand onto his thigh.

“Minwoo ya,” he murmured.

“What?”

“What did you see in that studio?” Dongwan questioned.

“Nothing,” Minwoo responded. “Why do you ask?”

Dongwan furrowed his forehead devastatingly. “You’ve been…off…lately.”

Minwoo blinked his eyes.

“You aren’t as clingy as before…you…you just…text with your phone and…and…chat with people…I’m like a wind…you don’t even hear me.” Dongwan told.

Older man looked down at him.

“Who or what did you see in that studio?” Dongwan tried again.

“I’m telling you…nothing! I’ve just been busy! I have no time to take care of you, Wan ah. We’re working with our new album. Don’t worry, my love,” Minwoo pecked the man’s forehead. “I’ll be with you…forever.”

Forever…

“Forever,” Dongwan mumbled.

A word that had no meaning anymore.

 “I’m in love with someone else.” Minwoo said and cleared his throat when Dongwan’s jaw dropped. “And it’s a she.” He added.

Dongwan didn’t know how to react or what to say. He just sat there, doing nothing else but breathing and still holding Minwoo’s hand. He wanted to hold it even though his heart had just being broken into so little pieces that it was hard to collect them and make a new heart out of them.

“…She?” Dongwan whispered after the long silence.

Minwoo nodded and released Dongwan’s trembling hands onto his lap while his hands were still trying to find a place to stay.

“I’m sorry. I seriously love her.” Minwoo spoke. “I still remember how I felt when I was with you and our relationship was a great experience.” He continued not even looking at Dongwan who tried to keep the tears away.

An experience? He thought upset. I was an experience to him? Dongwan pondered and felt a huge lump inside his throat.

“But she stole my heart.” Minwoo said. “Say something.” He then ordered.

Dongwan swallowed the bitter taste inside his throat and tried to flash a truthful yet hurtful smile to Minwoo. He fisted his hand to prevent himself for crying and lifted his glowing eyes to his now, unfortunately, ex-boyfriend.

“I’m happy for you.” Dongwan whispered and patted Minwoo’s hand. “I really am.” He added.

Minwoo looked little serious but in a minute the look softened and his eyes were looking back at Dongwan’s who was afraid that he would see the pain and suffering from there but he didn’t. It was good, right?

“If you love her and manage to be with her, I have no intensions to keep you here. She deserves someone like you.” Dongwan murmured to Minwoo. “It was a nice experience.”

I love you, you idiot! Dongwan thought and squeezed his hands into a tight fist. It was so tight that his knuckles were white.

“It was nice being with you.” Dongwan said as the hurting feeling in his chest was getting worse and worse. “But, hey, what can I do if you don’t like me as a boyfriend? I’m glad you realized it and was able to speak to me.” He stated and flashed another smile.

Minwoo smiled too and got up from the seat in front of Dongwan. “I’m happy that you could say those words. Talking to you has been in my mind for a while now. I’m delighted that you can let me go. Our relationship wasn’t even that real. Just something couple of guy friends wanted to try out, right?” he laughed.

Dongwan laughed too but it came out as an awkward chuckle.

“You’re right Minwoo. I’m happy that you remain as my friend.” Dongwan commented. Minwoo approached to him and gave him a hug, a hug filled with friendship. Friendship that Dongwan had never ever felt with Minwoo. It seriously hurt.

“Now I need to go to meet her. We are going on a date.” Minwoo explained grinning like a fool.

“Have fun.” Dongwan wished and as soon as Minwoo exited the room, he collapsed to the floor and cried. He cried his miserable heart out. He had lost his love.

Dongwan didn’t know how he got onto his bed and when had he lifted his knees onto his stomach, but what he knew too well, was the vivid and familiar feeling he had felt months ago in that same spot, in that same day in that same hour.

“Dongwan,” someone knocked onto his door.

“Get out of here!”

“Please, Dongwan…open the door…I have something to te—“

“GO AWAY MINWOO!” Dongwan yelled. “I HATE YOU!”

Hearing that from the sensible and calm Dongwan, made Minwoo gasp and realize that what he did months ago, was never going to deserve forgiveness…from anyone.