Chapter 7:

Dongwan exited the dorm room, wearing his winter clothes as he walked towards the bench and sat down, watching out that his cup of cocoa wouldn’t spill. Enjoying the starry sky and the tranquil yet chilly breeze that ruffled his hair, he sipped his hot chocolate and sensed that someone sat next to him. Not even needing to turn his head, Dongwan knew who the other one was. And when the other one spoke, his lips curved upwards.

“Can I have a sip of that?” Minwoo asked.

“Sure,” Dongwan answered and passed the cup to the other man. “Here you go.”

Minwoo thanked quietly and took a short slurp from the cocoa. “Waah,” he gasped. “So good.”

Dongwan grinned, wrinkles around his eyes, as he received the cup back and took a sip of the spot Minwoo had just drunk. “Hey,” the main dancer said.

“What?”

“We’re practically kissing. I drank from the same spot.” Minwoo continued amused.

Neither one of them could describe how red Dongwan’s cheeks got. The cup stopped in the midway of his chin as he stared at Minwoo in silence. The determined and serious (that had a bit of amusement in it) look didn’t change even though Dongwan slurped the ridiculously hot liquid nervously under other man’s scrutiny.

“Why are you staring at me?” Dongwan questioned shyly, cheeks even redder.

“Because I’d love to kiss the real you.”

Dongwan blushed more fiercely as he dropped the cup to the ground and looked at Minwoo in confusion and awe. The cup crashed into pieces and the cocoa spilled around when Minwoo’s hand went behind Dongwan’s neck and pulled him towards his lips.

In privacy and apart from the other members, Minwoo had confidence to do it. What a luck that they were all out that time.

After fifteen extremely beautiful seconds, Minwoo pulled off, slowly, and fixed his eyes to Dongwan, who looked as if he was about to faint. Pink and gorgeous were the adjective that described the face Dongwan had. He blinked his unnaturally big eyes and his mouth was slightly open.

Minwoo blushed after realizing what he had said and done and how cheesy that had been. Turning fully around on the bench, he started to sing some song and missed the wide smile on Dongwan’s face.

That had been their first kiss…

Their first kiss…

First kiss…

Dongwan felt his heart beating.

Minwoo’s hands were sweating.

Eric was speechless.

Hyesung was shocked.

Andy was bewildered.

And Junjin stared at Minwoo and Dongwan like he had never stared at them before.

“They’re…kissing…” Eric mumbled dumbly.

As if being the total recall, Minwoo released Dongwan’s lips and stared at him for couple of minutes. Had he just remembered their first kiss? Had he just remembered the most beautiful day of his life that he had tried to forget in these last couple of months? Had he just remembered the most wonderful moment of his life and exactly from word to word? Had he just remembered the moment, he regretted to have forgotten?

If yes, he wasn’t the only one.

Dongwan had a frown between his brows when Minwoo got onto his arms and looked down at him, gazing at him like they had just seen the same vision. Not entirely in his right mind, Dongwan moved awkwardly away from Minwoo, and turned his back towards him.

“You were…kissing…” Eric mumbled dumbfounded.

“Don’t mind your head with that.” Minwoo whispered, blush parading all over his face as he hurried out of the practice room into a nearest bathroom.

Dongwan lifted his hand onto his mouth and he couldn’t hide the smile that curved onto it. He remembered that moment now. That moment had meant a lot to him years ago. Since that day…since that day, he was sure that he was more than just ‘head over heels’ to .

…

Minwoo clasped his hands onto the edge of the sink and stared at his pale face from the mirror. If he were such a great and cool guy with charisma and character, why was he like a little girl when it came to romantic stuff? Don’t get him wrong people, he was a romanticist like everyone said, but that character was more like girl’s than gentleman’s.

“Aish…”

Above all that embarrassing stuff, he had kissed Dongwan; accidentally but still. Could anything be anymore worse?

“Yes,” Minwoo murmured.

He noticed how slowly the blush increased on his cheeks. He seldom blushed. Even with Amy he never really got any flustered and awkwardly cute.  Maybe everything didn’t have to be dazzling. He loved to be with her. They clicked everywhere.

Dongwan was different though.

He was something weird…something new…something…exciting. He had always been.

Minwoo had asked for forgiveness from the God when he had dumbed Dongwan over another person. Even more he had prayed when the man was in the hospital. Not entirely sure whether he had gotten it. Maybe not. Minwoo had done horribly. There were so many ways that he definitely didn’t deserve any forgiveness from the God nor from Dongwan. 

Minwoo frowned when he stared deeply into the eyes of his reflection.    

His reflection was smirking jeeringly and gazing at him with those small eyes as if telling him to come to his senses and leave that bubble of self-pity and finally start thinking about other people he had hurt. Minwoo sternly breathed in and closed his eyes and when he next time opened them, his reflection was back to the real version of him.

“People I’ve hurt?” he mumbled.

Yes, he had to think about the people he was hurting.

…

“Hi,” Dongwan said shyly.

“H-hello,” Minwoo replied.

“About the kiss,” they started in unison, startling each other.

Minwoo laughed awkwardly while rubbing his neck. “Yeah, umm…about the kiss…I…umm…really want to apologize…it was mindless and stupid and I really didn’t think while I did it.” He said.

The look on Dongwan’s face was between sadness and shyness. “Oh,” he spoke. “I don’t think it was stupid since I—“

“I like you Dongwan.” Minwoo blurted out.

Dongwan was sure he got like three heart attacks at once. “What?” he asked.

“I like you Dongwan.” Minwoo repeated. “I like you so damn much.”

Younger guy flushed and his heartbeat was audible to Minwoo. Dongwan’s hands trembled and his lips were trying not to curve to a smile, failing to do that though. Minwoo looked devastated as he waited anything from Dongwan. Smile wasn’t enough.

Dongwan let out a giggle and bowed his head embarrassed. “Yay,” he murmured. “Lee Minwoo likes me back.”

In that moment a huge piece left from the main dancer’s chest, as he stepped forward and lifted Dongwan’s head up by the cheeks. Eyes steadied to each other, Minwoo advanced Dongwan in slow pace and when he felt another nose on his, he leaned in, pulling Dongwan’s head, and pressed their lips together.

Different.

Weird.

New.

Exciting.

Dongwan was sitting on the bench, kicking a rock that didn’t move much from the foot, as he stared at the street in front of him.

“Second first kiss,” he said out loud.

Dongwan leaned in the backrest and sighed. He didn’t know that remembering was so tiring and hurting. Not that he really cared about any pain now. It was pain enough not to recall Minwoo except through some memories.

That was painful.

Dongwan closed his eyes when someone cleared his throat and made him open his eyes.

“Can I sit here?” Minwoo questioned.

“Yes,” Dongwan moved aside.

“What were you doing?” Minwoo asked while sitting down.

“Memorizing.” Dongwan replied nonchalantly. “You?”

“I…I came to wait for Amy.” Minwoo stated.

“Oh,” Dongwan said.

The silence was more than uncomfortable or awkward. It was seriously so silent that they could hear the loud noise from the dorm. Minwoo tapped his hand onto the handle and Dongwan still kicked the rock when Minwoo turned to look at his side view and then his own hands and feet.

 "Why can't you remember me?" Minwoo asked sadly.

Dongwan startled.

After a while he shrugged and stared at his hands that ruffled the hem of his shirt. "I don't know, Minwoo-sshi." he replied.

Minwoo turned to look at Dongwan who was still not looking back at him. "Maybe we weren't that close after all..." he muttered.

"No, Minwoo ya," Dongwan spoke, startling the other one. "I can feel it."

"You can feel what?"

"That we were close. I can feel it." Dongwan explained smiling as he lifted his hand onto his chest. "I know it."

Minwoo felt his lips curving upwards as his heart pounded against the chest blade. Dongwan finally looked at the man in front of him and the silence between them was no longer awkward.

“Minwoo ya,” Dongwan spoke. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes, sure.” Minwoo grinned.

“Why did we break up?”