months passed

 

my body became weaker and weaker each day

 

my tummy grew big because of the baby

 

"donghae turn on the tv it's x factor korea's finale"

"neh araso!!chill!!"

 

as i lay in my hospital bed my hopes are high that bigbang will win this thing

 

they are one of the frontliners since the contest began

 

 

they're gonna be performing two sets a mellow and an upbeat song

 

the first is an upbeat song

it's fantastic baby

 

Come together, everyone gather here
We gon’ party like lilililalala
Open your hearts, empty your minds
Set the fire lilililalala

Don’t ask for the answer but just take it as it is, go with the flow alright
Face the sky and put your two hands up, up high, wanna jump around oh

Nananana Nananana Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby

In this crazy house HEY at the end, it’s the king’s turn HEY
The ground is shaking and 3 minutes is not enough for this race, wait
The atmosphere is overheated Huh Catch Me On Fire Huh
The Real has appeared nanana

From one to ten, everything is one level above
Even if we crazily run on sand, we’re still so agile
Because the sky is blue enough,
Don’t ask any questions, just feel it – feel who I am

Jump at the sound of your heartbeat till this comes to an end yeah
I Can’t Baby Don’t Stop This
Just go corrupt today (go crazy and rave) let’s go

Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance

Catch me if you can, I’m forever a performer
There are no constraints for me tonight Mama Just Let Me Be Your Lover
Past this chaos nananana

From my head to my toes, there’s a visual shock
People know me for my senses that are always ahead

My footsteps are faster than others
My youth is a different dimension
Ice ice ice Hold Up nananana

Jump at the sound of your heartbeat till this comes to an end yeah
I Can’t Baby Don’t Stop This
Just go corrupt today (go crazy and rave) let’s go

Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance

Let’s all play together Ye Ye Ye let’s all jump together Ye Ye Ye
Let’s all go crazy together Ye Ye Ye Let’s all go together
Wow Fantastic Baby

 

 

they put everybody on their feet

they received good comments from the judges

 

and can i just say daesung's vocals can reach the heavens!!!daebak!!

 

 

 

 

then the program proceeded

the second song is koewokikasete (let me hear your voice)

 

VERSE 1:
I still remember very clearly just what it used to be like
I just can’t seem to erase these images in my head
Can’t you tell me just what do I need to do
To let you find a way to my heart (my heart)?

When I wake up each morning, I still see traces of you
Every day, I still pray that I will see you once again
Am I in a dream? Should I let go? Should I keep this pain to myself?

My mind tells me what to do (what to do), but then my heart says (but then my heart says)
How can I give up just like that and not fight?
For something inside tells me if I…if I keep trying, you’ll come back one day

CHORUS 1:
I just wanna hear your voice (2nd time: Yeah…)
I miss how it used to call my name
I miss the music it once made
You are still the one in my heart (2nd time: Missing you, baby girl)
Just let me hear your voice
Just one more time is all that I need
Because I believe that you still care (2nd time: Oh…)
If you just take one step, you’ll see there is still hope for us

 

VERSE 2:
Thinking back to the first time that I had ever met you
My heart was pounding so hard, I thought I was going to faint
I was captured by you from merely one look
I wondered if you also felt the same way (same way)

I just don’t know what happened and what has come between us
But I will do my best to get back my one true love
I will not give up even though it will be tough because I still love you so much

Don’t care what others may think (what others may think); just believe in me (just believe in me)
Just listen to what your heart is telling you
And come back to where you belong, which is right here next to my side

CHORUS 2:
I just wanna hear your voice
I just wanna feel your heartbeat again
And I just wanna feel your sweet breath
Knowing that I’m still in your heart
Just let me hear your voice
It’s the only thing that I need
I can’t help but think that you still love me

If you could just find it in your heart, please give me one more chance

RAP:
Yeah, since you went away, hasn’t been the same
In my heart, all I got is pain
Could it be that I play the game?
To lose you, I can’t maintain
Sunlight, moonlight, you lit my life
Realize in the night while love shines bright
Can’t let you go; we were meant for forever, baby, let me know

Days passed without you, can’t forget you
Letting me be the cloud hanging above me
Raining on me, missing your touch

Nights get longer and it’s hard to clutch
We’re apart, breaks my heart
It’s all for the best, girl; you’re my world
In time, my love unfurls
Till then, wait for you, girl

Repeat Chorus 1

 

 

it ended

 

my heat beats faster

 

jiyong almost cried on his rap part

 

it's the judges time to comment

 

"BIGBANG!!"

 

the judge shouted which made the audience scream

 

"i think all the people here are feeling goosebumps !!what you sang is not your ordinary ballad lovesong,you know it has rap

and everything but you know what we felt every single word you sang.and can i just say how great gdragon is!!"

 

the crowd screamed again

 

"the rap part is just so touching .you almost cried huh??well i'm out of words that's it!!! BIGBANG!!"

 

the audience screamed like for the nth time now

 

 

the host interviewed them

 

"umm gd your performance was so great,where did you get that emotion??"

 

he paused

 

a tear escaped form his eyes

 

he wiped it

 

"ahh so gay!!"

 

he giggled

 

"nah it's okay"

 

the host said

 

it took him a while before he spoke again

 

he looked at the camera

 

"i......i...."

 

he stuttered

 

"i still love her"

 

everyone including me went silent after his words

 

"well i guess that's a deep one huh??well whoever that girl is she sure is lucky"

 

 

lucky??

if lucky means hell well i am really lucky!!

 

when he looked at the camera it seemed like he looked straight to my eyes

 

"at least i made their performance better"

 

i sarcastically said to donghae

 

"you sure you're gonna watch this"

 

"kongju wants to watch her daddy sing.am i right kongju-ssi??"

 

i rubbed my tummy just like i'm talking to the baby inside it

 

 

it's a baby girl

 

i named her kongju

 

korean for princess

 

just like how ji calls me

 

 

 

 

before.....

 

 

the results are gonna be announced

 

 

 

"and our winner is....."

 

 

*drumroll*

 

i held my pillow tight

 

 

"it's not small.it'sBIG BIGBANG!!!"

 

 

and the crowd goes wild!!!

 

 

they hugged each other due to happiness

 

tears streamed down my face

 

i'm so happy for you ji

 

im so proud of you!!

 

i want to hug and congratulate you!!

 

but i can't

 

 

"DARA.."-hae

 

 

i smiled in my tears

 

"hae you know what there are times when i doubt if i really am doing the right thing.maybe i should stop this and tell him everyhting.but seeing him now,made me realize what i did is not that bad.if i didn't do that,he's gonna be stuck with me.stuck with a dying girlfriend..atleast now i know he's okay.the pain is worth it.i am so proud of him"

 

 

but then i cried harder

 

 

"dara i know it hurts.whatever you say i can feel your pain.you love him.just cry it all out'i'm here"

 

i cried

 

i looked at him

 

"hae of all people the one i have sinned a  lot is you.you're my bestfriend.you mean a lot to me but what have i done .?? i used you.i hurt you.i don't know you love me all these years.im sorry!!im sorry!!im sorry!!"

 

i continously said im sorry

 

he hugged me again to stop me

 

"dara please stop it's okay please stop crying"

 

i know he's crying too i can feel his tears

 

"one last favr hae??"

 

"can you take care of kongju when im gone??"

 

"yes i'll be more than willing to do so"

 

 

A/N

 

yeah !!this chapter kinda heartbreaking huh??

 

well im heartbroken too while writing this

 

i kinda feel dara now

 

you can't be with the guy you love

 

my donghae!!ss5!! i have no ticket!!omo!!

 

so heartbreaking!!

 

ahh

 

ang oa ko ga??

hahaha!!

 

well hoping the best for ss5 tonight!!

mama voting is on guys!!

 

please vote for our dear jiyongchi bear!!

he's currently leading three categories!!vote!!vote!!vote!!

cheerios!!

otakuFG