“The effect of the car accident…” The doctor concluded.

Ji Hyo fell weak on her knees. Her worst nightmare came true. Earlier when Jong Kook had told her that he loved Seong Im, he was looking into her eyes intently, as though he really meant it. She was not only shocked, but also lost. Instinctively, she released the grip of her hand and slowly stepped back. “Did I hear it wrongly… It can’t be… This can’t be happening…” She silently denied.

While the doctor was doing a quick check up on Jong Kook, a tiny part of her wished that it was a mistake. A mistake that on her part. However, to her dismay, the doctor had confirmed her thoughts; Jong Kook could have lost certain part of his memories. That moment, she felt crushed and defeated.

Gary, on the other hand, quickly lifted her up when he saw her collapsed. He tried to formulate some words to console her. “Tell her everything would be alright?” He asked himself in the mind. “Don’t be stupid Kang Gary, how is everything alright now? Your Hyung had lost his memories and Ji Hyo is suffering!” He chided himself silently. How could he even convince her that everything is alright when he could not even believe it himself?

As soon as the doctor excused himself, Gary went back to the room. Ji Hyo followed suit, wanting to see him. However, upon reaching the door, her feet stopped. She wanted to see her love of her life yet was unsure on what would be coming. She could feel her body shivering and her palms sweating. Still, she sighed and mentally pushed herself in.

Jong Kook was seated upright and looking at her. He smiled when he saw her entering and Ji Hyo cautiously walked towards him. “Hey babe.” He called out to her and gently held her hand. “Is everything alright?” He asked innocently.     

“I’m okay.” She lied. She was everything but fine. Jong Kook gripped her hand and wanted to caress her face. Subconsciously, she pulled away with fear as she was reminded of the scene happened earlier. “I love you Cheon Seong Im…” Those words kept echoing in her mind. She then looked at Jong Kook, who appeared to be confused by her action.

“Seong Im…” He called out to her and it sent chill down to her bones. With fear, she retreated slowly and was caught by Gary. Before Jong Kook could say anything, Gary interrupted him.

“Hyung… She had been around since morning and did not have enough sleep for the past few days. I shall send her back home. Dong Hoon would be coming down soon.” Gary dragged Ji Hyo out of the ward before either of them said anything.

Ji Hyo was like a walking zombie as they made their way to his car. The entire time, neither of them spoke. Ji Hyo was calmed, a little too calm. She was not crying, not talking and her eyes were expressionless.  She was so quiet that Gary could not reach out to her. He figured he needed to say something. Yet, even the most political correct words seemed inappropriate. “What could he say that would make her feel better?” He asked himself in the mind. “Nothing.” He answered himself. Ultimately, the long drive to her house was in complete silence.

Upon the arrival at the apartment, Gary stopped the car and observed her. She was still fixated in the same position, staring at the dashboard in front, lifeless as though she was frozen. He sighed, knowing that he had to say something. “Ji Hyo.” He called out to her.  

“He called me Seong Im…” She mumbled upon hearing her name. Her motionless eyes transmitted fear. The same scene started to replay in her mind. She recollected the scene where Jong Kook looked at her affectionately, saying those confession lovingly. But, that affection was killing her. Her heart tightened and she found it hard to breathe. It felt like someone was squeezing her heart when she heard the fateful name.

“Ji Hyo.” Gary called out to her again and she slowly turned towards him. She looked at Gary, her tears threaten to fall. She heard her own name. Someone remembered her name. How could she feel so emotional to hear someone calling out her name?

“I’m Song Ji Hyo.” She uttered as she looked at him. “I’m Song Ji Hyo… right?” She scoffed at herself. She found it so outrageous that she doubted her own identity that she had known her entire life. “So why did he call me Seong Im and not Ji Hyo? How could he forget me? How could he forget that I’m Ji Hyo?” She questioned as tears started gushing down.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through this Ji Hyo.” Gary reached out to her. He draped one arm around her and pulled her closer. He placed her head on his shoulder, hoping that she would attain comfort from him. “Jong Kook Hyung…. Would never want to forget you.” He tried to console.

“He eventually did.” She interrupted him.

“It was an accident. An accident that none of us wished it would happen. He needs time to heal. He would eventually remember you Ji Hyo.”

“The doctor said that there will be chances that he will never recover his memories. You heard him yourself.”Ji Hyo wept.  “There is a possibility that he will never remember who Song Ji Hyo is.”

 “We could try and tell him Ji Hyo.” Gary suggested. “We could explain to him the whole incident.”

“How exactly do you want to start explaining to him?” Ji Hyo questioned with a dreadful voice. “Tell him that Seong Im is dead? Then tell him he had fallen for a person who looked exactly like her? How believable do you think it sounded?”

 Gary was unable to respond because she was right. Even though this was the real incident that happened, it sounded too far-fetched. How would Jong Kook accept the fact that Seong Im was dead and he had moved on with someone who looked exactly like her? He had seen how devastated Jong Kook was when he first gotten the news. How could he let Jong Kook suffer the same pain then explain to him that a new person replaced Seong Im in his heart. “I’m so sorry Ji Hyo… I’m so sorry.” He apologized as she continued to shed tears.

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Ji Hyo stirred awake when she heard someone calling out to her. She gradually opened her eyes, wishing that it was Jong Kook but instead, her dongsaeng was here. She massaged her sore eyes lightly, trying to ease that discomfort that her eyes were feeling. She was a disaster. Her hair was messy, her eyes were swollen from incessant crying and she did not even bother to change when she arrived back home. All she remembered was coming home, lying down on her couch, staring at the blank walls as she let her tears fall.

“Kwang Soo yah…” Her voice croaked and Kwang Soo cringed. He had not seen this side of his Noona for such a long time and he was more than worried. Gary had called him after he sent her home. Gary wanted to stay by her side but she had requested to be alone. Gary did not want to argue with her so he heeded to her demand and requested Kwang Soo to take care of her. Thereafter, he rushed down to her house after he closed the café.

“Ji Hyo Noona, I brought you food.” Kwang Soo told her. This was the only thing he could do at the moment, ensuring that she was having proper meal. He knew how she loved to neglect her health when she was upset.

“I’m not hungry.” He expected this answer from her.

“But your body is.” He responded immediately. “Noona, you have a history of gastric problem and the last thing you had for the whole day was coffee. This is not the time to be sick Ji Hyo Noona.” He reasoned out to her.   

With the help of Kwang Soo, she slowly stood up and moved towards the dining table. Hesitantly, she started scooping the porridge out of the bowl and consumed it.

“In case you are wondering, I did close the café early to see you.” Kwang Soo started the conversation after a long moment of silence. “I am responsible of your health, as what Joong Ki had said before he enlisted. And your health is more important than your café now.”

Ji Hyo let out a tiny smile. She knew Kwang Soo was trying to lift up her mood while caring for her at the same time. “I trust what you do Kwang Soo. I do not doubt your decisions.”

“I was afraid you are going to pull my hair out or some sort.” Kwang Soo joked. And somehow, he wished she did. Ji Hyo was acting calm and he knew it. Known to Kwang Soo, Ji Hyo always had a habit of keeping quiet, staying calm whenever she was troubled. Putting up a strong front was a natural act for her. She could have been her perfect actress if she ever stepped into the entertainment industry.

They continued to eat in silence. By the time they were done, Kwang Soo volunteered to wash the dishes while Ji Hyo sat on her couch. Kwang Soo then joined her after he was done, with Ji Hyo staring into spaces while Kwang Soo continue to look at her. The silence continued until Ji Hyo decided to speak. “Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m alright? I’m sure you did not come all the way to my house just to see me eat and stare at me.”

“I came here to make sure that you are eating, at least I know you are not neglecting your health.” Kwang Soo answered. “If there is anything else you want to say, you would have told me.”

Ji Hyo shot him a suspicious look. Kwang Soo was always the one being concern, asking about her well-being. At times when she tried to hide her thoughts, Kwang Soo would always discover and asked her. “Kwang Soo. That’s not like you.” Ji Hyo mentioned. “You would have asked.”

“That’s not like you too Noona. You would have tried to hide it.”

“I’m still me.” Ji Hyo replied.

“Yes you are, Ji Hyo Noona.” Kwang Soo assured her.

Ji Hyo stared into Kwang Soo’s sincere eyes. She could tell he was not lying. Still, she could not convince herself. “But why do I feel that I’m losing myself?” She asked him. “Why don’t I feel like myself anymore?”

“You are still Ji Hyo Noona.” Kwang Soo comforted her. “Don’t doubt yourself.” Kwang Soo knew, it’s impossible not to. This had been her concern since the start of their relationship. Having Jong Kook losing his memories and calling out Seong Im’s name in her face, was not only hurtful, but it had shaken her confidence.

“Do you know I have been staying Jong Kook’s house for the past one month, even the time when Jong Kook was unconscious?” Ji Hyo asked and Kwang Soo nodded, knowing that Ji Hyo had been staying his house because the couple wanted to spend more time with each other and it was convenient for her to travel down to the hospital. “This is the first time I’m resting at my own house for the past few weeks. Suddenly, this house feels so foreign to me. Since the proposal happened, it seemed that I am blending to his surrounding, staying at his house, meeting his parents and adapting to his working environment. I think I am losing my own world…”

Before Kwang Soo could comment, Ji Hyo began. “Then I began to wonder, is this how Seong Im had been living with him? And did he see me as Song Ji Hyo?”

“Don’t be ridiculous Noona. You are just upset. You had been with Jong Kook hyung for a period of time. If he did not treat you like yourself, you would have known it.” Kwang Soo interrupted. “In your heart, you know the thoughts you are having right now is not true.”

“I know…” Ji Hyo knew. Posing those questions to Kwang Soo was redundant and plain absurd. If Jong Kook had treated her in any form like her, she would have realized it. All she needed, was an assurance from a 3^rd party.

Seeing no further response from her, Kwang Soo started talking. “Noona, you can’t doubt Jong Kook Hyung’s action for one innocent action he did in the morning. If he had a choice, he would not want to lose his memories and forget you either. The way you are thinking, it’s not fair to Jong Kook Hyung.”

Kwang Soo was right. Even if she needed assurance, she should not doubt Jong Kook’s action. She was not being fair to him. If she needed to blame anyone, she should have blamed herself. She could not blame Jong Kook for losing his memories. She could not blame the man who crashed into his car. She should blame herself who started this chain of reaction. Her paranoid action had caused this thing to happen.

“However, I’m not asking to blame yourself Ji Hyo Noona.” Kwang Soo continued, as though he had read her mind. “Nobody is at fault here. Don’t pin it on anyone or anybody, especially yourself.”

“I’m hurt Kwang Soo yah.” She admitted and cried. She lay on his shoulder and wept.

“Yes I know Noona.” He comforted her. “Still, you shouldn’t blame yourselves because you are hurt. You are hurting yourself even more.”

“I’m hurt when he called out her name.” She sobbed. “I feel that I had lost him. Jong Kook Oppa did not die. He was awoken from his coma. But I had lost him completely.”

“Did you rather him to die?” Kwang Soo questioned.

“Of course not!” Ji Hyo replied agitatedly. How would she have such thoughts? She was more than glad to see him awoken despite what he did. She was merely upset. Upset by the fact that she was helpless and she could not do anything about it. 

“Then isn’t it good that he survived?” Kwang Soo stated. “I know this is not the best situation. But there is still a possibility that Jong Kook Hyung will recover his memories. Don’t give up hope. You are not losing him.” Kwang Soo patted her back.

Ji Hyo nodded. She understood what Kwang Soo was explaining. She felt grateful that Kwang Soo was by her side right now. She relaxed and continued to let it all out while Kwang Soo comforted her. Silently, they both wished what Kwang Soo mentioned would be true.

“Please, let him recover his memories…” They pleaded silently. 

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I hope it was up to expectation.