I woke up in the infirmary with a bump and a headache. Sitting by the other bed trying to tape his hand is Chanyeol, my senpai. Sensing that I’m awake, he asked “How’s your head?” while touching a cold ice pack to my forehead. His face inches from mine, sending butterflies to my stomach.

“What happened?”

He smiled, doubling the butterflies “you were hit by a ball”

“I was?” still confused.

No you weren’t that’s why you’re in the infirmary he said deadpan. Before I could stop it I was laughing really hard, there was something ridiculous about the way he said it and the next thing I knew I was helping him tape his fingers.

“You work too hard senpai” I said, not taking off my eyes from his hand

 “Thank you” he replied his eyes twinkling with laughter.

 Somewhere between a choked laugh and a thrown pillow I cried “that wasn’t a compliment”. We were throwing pillows at each other and laughing till our stomach hurts when suddenly we heard a cough by the door. It was Kai.

“Yo, looking good fatso” he said to me sarcastically “but you know if you weren’t such a sick pig fart---”.

“Kai don’t you think you’ve said enough?” Chanyeol said tilting his head with amusement.

Shrugging his shoulders, “This doesn’t concern you Yeol.”

With rapid movements Kai took my hand and led me to the school exit.

“Wait here” he said without looking at me. Minutes later he came back sweating with his and my bag in hand. Pushing my bag towards my chest, he said “because of your dramatic fainting, everyone thinks I’m a villain. Yes I damn threw the ball but it’s not like I meant hitting you. But then you started drooling so I just had to laugh and now everyone’s angry at me for being heartless” pushing his slender finger at me he added “you are a mass ball of fats and humiliation, I’m the coolest guy on Earth and you’re u--’”

“Ugly” I said the word before he could say it. “Kai don’t rub something so obvious". I could feel the tears rolling from my eyes, but I didn’t care wiping them. “You know fat people have feelings too.”

I started to back away from him but before I could get out of earshot I heard him whisper a hoarse, “I’m sorry”. But I don’t have the heart to tell him it's okay because it isn’t. Those words meant nothing; they’re not enough to erase the pain. As fast as my legs could muster I started to run speed walk. Scratch running I can’t run. I’m too fat for that. My legs grew tired from all the speed walking, speed walking from Kai, the bitterness of life, the world and the inescapable reality towards the blankness of my own world.