I cut my day on school off. In other terms, I half-day-ed. So when I went home, I directly went to my room and obviously, cried and weeped.

And the answer is really obvious. Yoona and Luhan are now official. I don't know how, and when, or why. All I know is I'm jealous.

That day on the Detention Room, he asked me about Yoona. All I was thinking back then is nothing more but OUR talk. All I was thinking that he's just asking that to avoid the awkward silence and continue our conversation. And yes, I heard him say NICE, but I don't know what it meant. I'm an intelligent and smart person but that time, I was so dumb and slow that I didn't realize he's interested in Yoona. Right, I'm stupid.

And now, just as I heard the news, I wanted to scream loudly how my heart hurts. Well,not really. 'Cause I can't do that, I'm too hilarious to do that. I don't know. And just as I saw the new released post at the bulletin board, deep inside, I'm falling in my knees, slowly melting, slowly dying, slowly falling into pieces. 

I love Luhan, yes truthfully. But he doesn't know that. I want him to notice me but I am afraid of rejection. Like really, I am not that kind or type of girl which every kingka(s) like. For years, I might not be an observer/obervant but I can observe that the kingka(s) like and date those girls which are flirty, pretty, hot, y and not geekish or bookish or something like that like me. For some easier words, they like queenkas.

I can't really say that if I confess to Luhan, he will accept me and then, we'll become lovey-dovey couple. I mean, that is just my not-so-clear expectation. And as they say, expectations really don't happen in reality. Sometimes it will, sometimes it will not. It depends. Okay, so there's a long line of girls confessiong to him and I don't know where am I from that line. So to think, it's really not that possible for him to pick me directly. Yoona is more deserving than me. 3

But even though, I still can't stand it! Jealousy takes over my heart! Can't it be me? Why Yoona? Why not me? Is it because she's prettier than me? Definitely. Is it because she's hotter than me? Of course. Is it because she's better than me? Aish. Why can't I be like her?!

These love letters thingy is rocking me so hard! I'll still continue it for it might help him notice me. (Keep dreaming, Joohyun.) Once, I mean Twice, he asked me about the admirer who keeps on sending love letters. It's me, duh. But I can't say it in front of him. THAT IS TOO EMBARRASSING. Maybe, just maybe, I am the only one who came up with the idea of love letters and it keeps him wondering who's the letter sender. (which is me xD) It makes me ... mysterious? Somehow, maybe. But all of those are just maybe-s. And maybe-s are just maybe-s.

Still, after all these explanations, I keep weeping. It's just really hard to be on a one-sided love. Out of all humans in this world. why does it have to be me that is suffering from a heartbreak? Did I do something wrong? Did someone curse me? Hell, no. I'm too stupid. That's it. 

I tucked myself in bed. Covered myself with a blanket. And stuffed myself with pillows and stuff toys. I am so having BAD VIBES. I FEEL SICK.

Ugh.

- - - *

Hi there.

5th Chapter, guys.

Sorry for not updating last night.

I WAS REALLY NOT FEELING WELL.

I recovered a little today, anyway.

Seohyun's POV here is quite a little related to mine. But my case is, I'm in-love with my bestfriend. And I am friendzoned. ://

Anyway, thanks for reading,

Add me, Subscribe&Comment, Upvote and Support.

Luv ya~

-ImmaSeonate4ever-

Okay, this just freaks me out. o_O

And Sehun's rocking my heart. <333 !!!