Hyewon’s POV

         I walked away the building, wanting to clean my mind. I didn’t know what to think about Nam Woohyun. I’d cried for a long while because my head was spinning so much. I didn’t know if I wanted just to forget that kiss that had made put my world upside-down, or to hold onto that kiss and remember it forever. I was so confused. Woohyun was a guy pretty much different than Seungho, adding the fact that I didn’t know him for so long or too well, and that made me feel even more confused. That was the most important thing; before Seungho and I had our first kiss, we’ve met for a long while and were friends for a long time and that’s exactly why I believe our relationship lasted for some time long. We trusted each other because we were friends before falling in love; I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. However, although I didn’t know Nam Woohyun that well or for a while long, I sort of felt I trusted him, didn’t I? Still, I didn’t think it was correct to start a love relationship with someone I didn’t really know…

         I walked for around an hour when I realized my feet had taken me to that place. I was in front of a kind of shack, with a roof made of red and old tiles; its walls were painted in white a while before —I knew it because I frequented that shack a while before, and also because the traces of while brushwork could be seen—, and a polished concrete ground in the front yard. The yard also had a small garden with few flowers and half-dead bushes. The place was sort of disgusting and even more was its smell but I was already used to it.

         “Oh? Kang Hyewon? Is it true what my eyes are seeing?” A familiar voice took me out of my thoughts as I looked around trying to find him. I focused my sight on the front door and saw the owner of the voice, grinning with the best smile he could give —which wasn’t that big, after all. “I thought I wouldn’t meet you again.” He said, quietly, coming out of his house.

         “Oh! Hi, Jihyuk-ssi!” I said, smiling but it couldn’t come out sincerely.

         “What are you doing here? Did you come with Seungho?” He said, frowning at his name and averting his gaze somewhere else, probably looking for my ex boyfriend.

         “Oh… no, I came alone…” I replied, feeling a bit awkward because since we broke up, I had no talked about with any Seungho’s friend or anything.

         He nodded slightly before speaking again. “I heard you guys broke up. Is it true?” He said while sitting down on the doorsteps.

         “Eh… yes.” I hesitated a bit, not really knowing why.

         “Ah, so bad. I think you looked good together.” He said, chuckling but I wasn’t sure if he meant it for real. I nodded awkwardly and smiled nervously. “Aren’t you coming in?” He moved his hand to the entrance of the house but again I couldn’t read if he really meant me to go in.

         “Eh…” I hesitated again, not knowing what to answer. Jihyuk wasn’t a bad guy, I always knew he was a kind of close Seungho’s friend but I never had the chance to talk with him just the two of us, without Seungho around, so it felt quite awkward to have any conversation with him.

         “Of course you’re going it.” He spoke up again, making me feel lost. “I don’t think you came all the way here just to visit me, did you?” He said, his voice changing to a… sad tone? I couldn’t be sure. He stood up and entered to the house. I wasn’t sure if I should follow him but I did and took off my shoes before sitting next to the entrance door; the place I always sat when Seungho took me there.

         Jihyuk peeked at me over his shoulder and grinned, making me feel lost again. “I haven’t seen you for a long while. What do you want today?” He started to look for something on his cabinets.

         Then it hit me. Should I buy it? I am here, anyway. Jihyuk is right, I didn’t come here to visit him. We’re not that close friends to begin with. Even though it wasn’t in my mind, I came here. I mindlessly walked over here. My body needs it even more than I can imagine or think.

         “Jihyuk-ssi, what do you… recommend me?” I asked, trying to put my firmest voice but I knew it sounded quite weak and shivering and it made me feel bad. I don’t know what I was doing and cursed in my mind after making that weak question.

         “Are you asking me my opinion?” He turned back to me, staring me from above with another gaze that I couldn’t read. “What an honor!” I thought his voice was sarcastic but I couldn’t be sure. “Before giving you my opinion, let me ask you something.” I gulped at his sudden change. “How long you haven’t done it?”

         He sat in front of me, with his legs crossed as I crossed mine too. I lowered my gaze, not wanting to meet his eyes. “A while ago…” I said with a weaker voice, which made me curse myself more in my mind, as I was fidgeting with the edge of my hoodie.

         “Okay, then let’s smoke together.” He stood up abruptly and took one of the cigarettes that were in the kitchen counter. “Do you have lighter?”

         It was quite weird that he asked me that when I just told him I haven’t done drugs for a while, and adding that he was a drug dealer, why would he ask a customer for a lighter?

         “Jihyuk-ssi… I told you it’s been a while since I don’t smoke…” I said, standing up slowly and walking to him.

         “Sure. Then, take one from the cabinet there.” He said pointing with his hand to the drawer. I moved there and took the box he indicated that was full of lighters, matchboxes and used matches. I frowned at all of them but took a green lighter before he asked why I was taking so long. I apologized and gave him the thing.

         I looked at him lighting the cigarette and wondering why he was smoking a common cigarette. He didn’t seem to be disturbed by the intense gaze I knew I was giving him so I knew he wouldn’t be disturbed too by any question I would so I did it.

         “Jihyuk-ssi, why are you smoking… that?” I asked, cautiously, not wanting to sound rude or anything.

         As I expected, he wasn’t even a bit disturbed by my question as he inhaled the smoke and held it in while he replied, or rather asked back. “Why do I smoke a cigarette rather than a weed snuff?” I nodded slowly, again feeling uncomfortable (or still, since I haven’t stopped feeling like that from the time I arrived not knowing why to his house). “Because you’re here.” He moved his head to the right and exhaled the smoke through his mouth, pulling a bit his lips outwards.

         His words caught me off guard as I frowned and titled my head. “But… you and I have smoked together before… smoked weed; with Seungho oppa and the others…”

         “Yes, but I never liked you to be into this.” He put the cigarette on his lips again and inhaled it. The pleasure showed on his face made me feel somehow envy. “I knew why you did it before. What I don’t know is why you’re here today.” He exhaled the smoke again, towards the right. “You came here before because of Seungho, didn’t you?” He inhaled the cigarette again, while waiting for my reply.

         “What do you mean?” I asked back, not minding to hide my startled.

         “You never liked anything about this, did you?”

         “Eh? What makes you think like that, Jihyuk-ssi? I did this for a long while, why would I do something I didn’t like?” Although he wasn’t any wrong, what made me feel bad was that he actually was right. How could he know all this? Even Seungho was sure I did it because I ‘wanted it’ but why this guy told me all that, even when we never talked like this before?

         “Why did you do it? I can’t really tell.” He made a pause to inhale the cigarette again. “Hmm… maybe… out of love?” He said, still with the smoke on his mouth. “To be a good girlfriend?” He exhaled before saying this last thing and the word ‘girlfriend’ sounded a bit hoarse on him. “You answer it.”

         As I watched him, sort of startled by his question, he inhaled and exhaled the cigarette once again before turning it off in the ashtray. “Jihyuk-ssi, I did it because I wanted to do it.” I said, trying to sound firm and I was glad I sort of did, as he was staring at me with a blank expression.

         “Are you trying to convince yourself about it? Because you’re not moving my mind.” He said, taking another cigarette to his mouth and turning it on.

         “Why are you saying all these things? I’m not trying to convince anyone.” It was such a pity that my voice said all the opposite, and I cursed realizing it.

         “Hyewon, I don’t have two years living in this world; not two or three.” His voices changed and I knew the conversation was going