Chapter 14 -  I Miss My Brother 

A beat music was heard loudly from outside the pub. It was one of the best pubs in this city, which Junsu’s friends often went here, Mirotic. Yunho, Yoochun, and Jaejoong were a very good partner when it was about drinking and clubbing. Junsu didn’t drink, so that’s why he was rarely seen in pub or that kind of place. He was come once with the three to this pub, and he ended up drinking smoothie which was no alcohol.

Tonight was the most unbelievable night for the boys. Tonight was the history night where they knew what exactly was going on with their best friend, Kim Junsu. They felt disappointed, not because they had a very sick friend, but because he never told them about this. Still, they respected what their friend decided. It was his choice after all and they had no right to object it.

“Oppa, let’s dance!” A girl who was fit to be called , clung onto Jaejoong’s shoulder. Jaejoong shrugged it off and glared at her. She was afraid and left the boys.

“Chill, man. You’re look like gonna end up eating someone.” Yunho said calmly as he took a sip of his drink.

Jaejoong groaned and scratched his hair messily. “Oh, man. Am I the only one who looked like abnormal this night? Why could you be so calm?”

Yunho smirked in a pathetic way. “Well, I’m quite surprised in fact.”

“Yoochun-ah, how did you know it before us? He told you or what?” Jaejoong asked. He was surprise to know that Yoochun already knew about it.

Yoochun chuckled as he looked at the older. “Tell me, does it make sense if he told me willingly? He won’t hide it from us if he would like to tell us about it.”

Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “Okay, so how?”

“I accidentally saw him in the hospital and asked him about it. I made him telling me about everything.” Yoochun paused for a moment as the image of that scene flashed right in his mind. It was the image of Junsu crying heartbreakingly. “I don’t know how stupid we are to be fooled by Junsu. He was ing dying and we didn’t even know about it.”

Realizing the tense that was build inside of Yoochun, Yunho put his hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. “It’s okay, if you don’t tell us.”

“He was suffering so much, hyung. He had to look after his brother, his father, and the company. As if it wasn’t enough, his mother died in the car accident. The worst part was that he did everything when his body was in this state. It made him… weaker…,” Yoochun felt his eyes teary. He couldn’t imagine how much he suffered for his family.

Without realizing, the tear was formed in Yunho’s eyes. Junsu was too kind to deserve all of this. He was too kind to be suffered until this state. Yunho never knew that Junsu lived a hard life. Not even one of them. They didn’t know that their best friend was completely awful to have managed everything so well in his state.

Jaejoong drank a bottle of alcohol straightly. Just like whenever he had a mess mind. Suddenly he spotted someone familiar in one of the table not far from them. He was surrounded by girls, girls for exact.

Jaejoong put his glass on the table. He told the other two to look at the familiar boy. “What’d he do here?”

“Call him. He wouldn’t like his brother being in here.” Yunho commanded as he made a first a move towards the familiar boy.

*****

Junsu drank his coffee as he watched TV and changed the channel every half minute. It wasn’t his habit to drink coffee, but he had a bad feeling tonight. He just wanted to stay awake until Changmin came home.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. 12.05 A.M. It was already midnight, yet, he still didn’t know where Changmin go. Changmin would surely make him into two pieces if he called Changmin’s friends. He wasn’t a kid anymore, he said. Why did everyone have to be so naïve? In fact, calling his friends could make him knew where his brother was. Maybe.

Suddenly, his ringtone was heard. He grabbed the cell phone from the table and looked at the screen. He raised an eyebrow. Why did Jaejoong call him?

“Yoboseyo,”

“Junsu-yah, can you-,” Junsu couldn’t hear the voice because of the loud voices behind Jaejoong. Seemed like Jaejoong was in the pub or some places like that.

“I can’t hear you. Your voice isn’t clear.”

“Hello? Can you hear me now?”

“Yes, it’s clear now. Why’d you call me, hyung?”

“Can you go to the Angel Pub now?”

“Why, Jaejoong hyung?” Jaejoong and the other were rare to ask him go to the pub because they knew Junsu didn’t drink.

“Changmin is here. Seems like he is very drunk. Yoochun and Yunho accompany him now.”Jaejoong explained.

“What?! Ah, I see. Just take care of him I’ll be on my way.”

Junsu ended the call as he rushed into his room to take his car key and some important stuff. He was running through the stairs and was already inside his car in less than a minute. Seconds later, his car was already run into the Seoul’s street in night.

Junsu drove his car with a very high speed. For nth time, Changmin did creating a new problem by going to the pub and drunk.

Junsu messed his hair helplessly. Changmin-ah, can’t you just not to make me worry?

*****

Changmin parked his car in the car parking of the famous pub, Mirotic. Actually he seldom went to a pub, except when he had many things in his mind. Just like now. When he couldn’t handle his mind anymore, drinking would be the best choice to fix it. Well, at least, he had to let everything out and he just could do it after drinking.

Changmin walked inside the pub and ordered a bottle and poured it to the glass. He looked at the glass. He knew his brother didn’t like this kind of thing. That’s why he never told him about this. He was so sure that he would be a slice of a fresh meat once his brother found it.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” He said as he drank it in one move. He continuously drank it until the fourth glass. As he hoped, that drink was making him feel better. It was like the entire burden going away with no leftover.

He was frustrated that time. He couldn’t figure a way out of his problem with his brother. For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to act. He didn’t know what to say. Everything just went out of the way.

All the courage words from his brother’s mouth only made him even more lost than he already was. He just couldn’t make the entire negative thing out of his mind. It kept getting out whenever it involved Junsu.

He was afraid that he would lose his sanity to someone. He was afraid that he actually believed someone. He was afraid to trust someone. Because he never wanted to feel hurt. It was enough when his family kept the secret away. At that time, he was very happy to have a lovely family. He was glad to have a kind parents and an older brother who seemed to love him very much. But it didn’t last long when he discovered the secret. He couldn’t help to feel angry and disappointed, because in fact he never had that lovely family. He never could be one of the members.

Changmin was about to drink another glass when someone stopped him.  He turned his head to look at him. Well, he wasn’t surprised to see Yunho in this place, trying to stop him drinking. But, no way in hell, he would hear him.

Changmin glared at Yunho as he grabbed his glass and drank it in one shot. He didn’t care about anyone right now. He ignored the glaring of two pairs of eyes next to him. He just wanted to feel free. He wanted all his problems to fly away. And he did. With every glass he drank, everything seemed became easier. He was starting to feel dizzy and a little bit… drunk.

Yunho stopped him to drink. He grabbed the glass and put it far from the younger. “You have enough, Changmin-ah.”

Changmin chuckled while shutting his eyes. The older sounded like Junsu. Suddenly Changmin frowned. Even in a time like this, he still couldn’t get Junsu out of his mind.

“Are you okay?” Another familiar voice was heard as he felt his head being held up. Changmin opened his eyes and found another familiar figure other than Yunho was looking at him so close, concerned.

“I’m fine.” Changmin said as he slapped the hands away. He did look the disappointed look from Yoochun, but who cares?

Another figure appeared while holding his cell phone. Kim Jaejoong. Changmin chuckled. Yeah, right. There was no way that one of them went here alone. There would always that three if we mentioned clubbing and night life.

He heard faintly voices from Jaejoong. “I called him. He’s already on his way.”

Changmin snapped his eyes open. Were they talking about Junsu? Changmin looked straight to Jaejoong. “You’re not calling Junsu hyung, right?”

Jaejoong did look surprised to know Changmin was still able to hear in his condition right now. “Well, I’m sorry, Changmin-ah. But your brother needs to know this. Besides, you can’t go home by yourselves.”

“. I can go home by myself.” Changmin said coldly as he stood up. He felt very well, yet, he couldn’t be focus as he almost fell down right after he tried to walk. The dizziness was taking his focus away.

“See, I told you.” Jaejoong mocked him as he helped him to sit down again.

“Come on, Changmin-ah. Just sit down, will you?” Yoochun whined as he held Changmin so that he wouldn’t fall for the second time.

Ten minutes later, Junsu came. He was shocked to see the drunken Changmin. Changmin was furious to know his presence, but somehow he managed to drag Changmin inside his car and got him into his bed.

“Why do you do this, hyung? You should just not bother to pick me up. I can go home by myself.” Changmin mumbled with his eyes closed.

“Go home alone? Are you sure? You don’t seem one.” Junsu said as he pulled off Changmin’s shoes. “You’re very drunk, Changmin-ah. Well, if I could say, it’s not good for you.”

“I can take care of myself. No need to worry,” Changmin said as he drifted to sleep.

Junsu shook his head. Then he stared at Changmin who was already in a deep sleep. “Why can’t we start a new? I miss my little brother very much.”

Far in the eyes, so close in in the heart. Those words were the best to resemble them. As the time went by, a very big and strong wall was created between them. And that wall would only be broken if there was a will from both sides to destroy it. But if only one side who wanted it to be broken, and the other side didn’t, then what else the one who wanted it could do?

Junsu pulled the blanket to cover Changmin. Then with the last glance, he left the room. He felt lonely, again.

Changmin opened his eyes and looked at the door. He didn’t fall asleep yet. He was just trying to avoid Junsu. That last sentences from his older brother mad him wavering. He admitted that he also missed his old brother.

*****

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