Chapter 13

Junsu startled. How could he know that? He didn’t even get out of this room.

“If you’re not, you won’t come here when just an hour ago you were upset to me,” Changmin said confidently.

Changmin is right.

“You must be curious, how could I know about the secret which I think it would be better if I didn’t know about it.” Changmin stood up and grab a coke from the table. He drank that and prepared himself to remember the hurtful memories.

“I accidentally heard dad and mom talking about me in their room. They were wondering when the right time to tell it to me. I came in and asked them to tell me about everything.” Changmin looked at his step brother. “My real parents had died long time ago. I’m an orphan since I’m baby, hyung. It’s a pity, right?”

Changmin squeezed the can of coke which had no sin. Then he stared deeply to Junsu’s eyes. For the first time in his life, Junsu saw the gaze which usually full of hatred, now became so fragile. The man, who usually looked so strong, now became so weak in front of his eyes.

“I felt like an alien in this house. It’s funny, isn’t it?” Changmin faked a laugh. It was heard so sad by Junsu’s ears. It was the most hurtful laughter that could slice his heart pieces by pieces.

“I envy you, hyung.” Changmin looked away. “You have everything, but me…”

Changmin was silent for a while before continued what he said before. “You are smart like dad and mom. Everyone knows it. Do you even know why I insisted to enter the medical school? It was because I want to be known as smart as you, hyung, so that people won’t see me different from you, from this family.”

“With all of my behavior, you must hope that you won’t ever have a brother like me or even I never exist in this world.” Changmin smirked, looking at his brother. “But you are wrong, hyung. You should hope to God that I would never meet your parents.”

Junsu was speechless. He really wanted to say something that calmed the younger and consoled him. But, all those words were restrained in his mouth. How could he comfort the boy when he himself couldn’t think straight?

“You were wrong if you think that mom and dad loved me more than you. You were very wrong, hyung. Although they always treated me very nice, it didn’t mean that. You were always be the first in their heart and will always be like that. Everyone would treat a stranger nicer, wouldn’t they?” Changmin said as he got back to his chair. The chair which he expected could hide him from this world.

“Enough, Changmin-ah! You shouldn’t think in that way.” Junsu had had enough with this. He could not let Changmin thinking that he was alone in this cruel world. Changmin was wrong. He still had Junsu which would always be in his side no matter what happen.

“You cannot deny it, hyung. I am not your real brother. That’s why I told you not to care about me. You shouldn’t be responsible for me. I can take care of myself.” Changmin’s voice was a bit shaking when he said it.

“But…,”

“Go away, hyung… I want to be alone. Don’t disturb me, please.”

Junsu was about to say something when Changmin said it.

“No matter what you’ve from, I had taken you as my brother. Whatever they said, you’re still my brother and always be.” Junsu said firmly, a second before he turned back to leave. There was no doubt in his voice. No matter what happen, Changmin was his brother.

Changmin could hear him clear enough, but he was not the type who could easily believe on something. It was easy for Junsu to say it, but it was so hard for Changmin to believe it. Changmin had tried not to believe in anyone since that time. And why should now he must believe him?

( = | ^_^ | *-:-* | ^_^ | = )

It had been one month since that incident. Everything didn’t turn out like Junsu wanted it to be. In those seven days, Changmin would always avoid Junsu by coming home late and others. He even did a good job in his college all of sudden. He asked for another lecture or anything just to keep him there until night. Then he would come home either when Junsu had asleep due to the tiredness or when Junsu didn’t come home yet.

It was not too different with what Junsu did. He became busier with his schedule. He took everything that made him too busy to think about his problem. He worked for the company from 8 a.m. until 4 p.m. and then he had his practice either dancing or singing until late night or midnight. Then he would go to sleep once he came home.

It was not like Junsu never tried anything to improve their cold brotherhood. He did before. He tried to talk to Changmin, but Changmin always had something to cut him off. That was why he gave up trying. Besides, he had his other responsible that could not be neglected.

“This is the document you asked, Sir.”  A woman bowed and handed Junsu a map.

Junsu took it and smiled. “Thank you. You can leave.”

After the last staff exited the room, another people had entered again. It was Hyukjae with papers in his hand. He put it on the desk and sat down in front of Junsu.

Junsu smiled welcoming him. “Hey, when did you back? I thought it was supposed to be two days later.”

“Yeah, it was. But the job had done faster than we expected.” Hyukjae answered as he glanced at his watch. “Want to have lunch together? It has been a long time.”

“Lunch time?” Junsu took a glance at his watch. It was a lunch time. “What day today?”

“Today is Wednesday. Why’d you ask?”

“Oh My God, I forget it.” Junsu stood up and packed his stuff in a hurry. He ignored the questioning look on Hyukjae’s face. “I’m sorry, I had to go, Hyukjae-ah. We can have lunch tomorrow.”

Junsu left Hyukjae alone in the room. Hyukjae smirked. He did going overseas more than a month to take a visit the other branch representing Junsu. But it didn’t mean that he didn’t know the news of his boss. He knew what had been going in Junsu’s house one month ago and he even knew what Junsu’s new habit in lunch time was. The only thing he didn’t know was why. He didn’t know why Junsu had a weird habit leaving the company when almost reached the lunch time three times a week.

( = | ^_^ | *-:-* | ^_^ | = )

A white sport car parked in the L’Arce Café’s car parking. One minute later, a guy with a white hoodie and a blue hat came out of the car. He walked in to the café and headed to the third floor.

L’Arce Café was the only one café that had a third floor. The first and second floor was a usual café whereas the third floor had a private room to eat with a lock. The location of the café was just behind the Seoul Hospital.

He entered one of the private rooms and ordered his lunch. He always booked this room whenever he came here. Once the waiter left, Junsu looked out through the mirror to the Seoul Hospital’s garden. His eyes searched for someone automatically. There, in the middle, he saw a beautiful woman having lunch with her friends. She wore a white uniform from the hospital. Like always.

This was the best place to be his runaway place whenever his heart could not compromise. It was the most possible place to could see that woman without any fear to be discovered. The woman who had been a memories to him.

Every Monday and Wednesday that woman would be there, in the garden, to eat lunch either alone or with her friends. And the other days, she would just have lunch in the hospital’s canteen. He knew her routine every day. Even she was his past; he could not help to always check on her.

He felt jealous every time he saw many man trying to get her.

He felt hurt every time he saw her looking helplessly at the sky.

He felt broken every time he saw her crying.

He felt useless when he realized that he was the one who left a deep scar in that soft heart, which once he had promised not to hurt it.

He felt relief to see her having a good time in her days. She looked fine. She could laugh and smile together with her friends. He was willingly to give up on his happiness, just for hers. He wouldn’t demand anything from her, even his heart was broken. Because he knew that it happened, for her happiness in the future.

She would always be the sunshine that shined his days. She would always be the first in his heart for everything. Except the one that related to his family.

He felt sorry for her. He had to put his family above her. He just could not help to do it, because he loved his family more than her.

( = | ^_^ | *-:-* | ^_^ | = )

“Come on, everyone! Let’s try it again once and it will be over.” The choreographer shouted as he clapped his hands, waking the spirits of everyone in that practice room.

“Uncle Yang, you have said that before, but nothing happened.” The handsome guy said as he stood up and stretched his body.

The choreographer chuckled. “It’s different. Now we will surely be over, Yoochun-sshi.”

“Okay, then. I’ll take your word.” A pretty guy said as he drank a bottle of water. “Suddenly I become energetic. Come on, everyone! Fighting!!!”

Someone laughed excitedly at his silliness. “Jaejoong hyung, what was that for?”

“Yah, Junsu-yah! You should look at the mirror how silly you look now.” Jaejoong replied heartlessly.

Junsu pouted and everyone laughed. Everyone liked teasing the cute boy.

“Just get over with it, boys! I’m tired waiting for you.” Yunho commented lazily as he lay down from the corner of the practice room. And then the last dance practice began.

Junsu, Yoochun, and Jaejoong were practicing dancing since this afternoon, right after lunch time. They would have a together performance in a big event one month later in the end of the year. They would sing a song which had composed especially for the three boys to sing. And today, Yunho came because strangely he didn’t have any job to be finished. So instead of being alone in his mansion, he prefer to be here, disturbing his friends who were practicing. It was more fun for him.

Ten minutes later, the practice was over. They packed their stuff while chatting happily.

“Ah, I really want to go to a pub.” Jaejoong said as he wiped the sweat all over his face.

Suddenly Yoochun stared at his friends excitedly. Weird. “How about we go to the pub after this?”

The other three nodded their head in unison. It was what he meant by his expression.

“Come on, it’s already 9 o’clock in the night.” Junsu stared at them hopefully. “We should just go home and take a rest,”

Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “It’s not like the pub will close soon, Junsu-yah.”

“I’m one hundred percent agree with you.” Yunho grinned. “It’ll get me out of the boredness waiting for you three dancing like a duck.”

“My dancing is not like a duck.” Yoochun replied bluntly. “My fans said, it’s so cool, isn’t it?”

“Your fans? When did they say?” Jaejoong mocked him.

Junsu walked out of the practice room. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll just gonna take some water outside.”

“Yah! Let me borrow the video!” Jaejoong shouted right when Junsu was on the door. Jaejoong meant the video where they practiced dancing. Their choreographer recorded it once today.

They heard someone yelled from outside. “The laptop is just in my bag!”

Jaejoong took Junsu’s bag and began to search for the laptop. But instead of the laptop, he found something else which was more interesting. He found more than three bottles in that bag. A bottles full of the medicine. It was the hard drug. He called the other to approach him.

"Is he sick?" Jaejoong whispered in disbelief.

"Geez, what is this for?" Yunho said as he took one of the bottles. He knew it was the hard drug, because his father who got a severe disease had many bottles like this.

Yunho looked at Yoochun. "Yoochun-ah, do you know about this? You hang out with him more than us lately,"

"Mmm... No... I think," Yoochun managed to say it between his confused mind. He really didn't expect this matter to be discovered in that way.

"Does he hide this from us?" Yunho whispered weakly.

Jaejoong and Yunho didn't knew what that was for. Both of them didn't know that it would be their first step opening the gate full of sorrow and the last thing they would want in this world, lost.

( = | ^_^ | *-:-* | ^_^ | = )

““The laptop is just in my bag!” Junsu yelled at Jaejoong who was inside the practice room. Then he walked to the dispenser near the lobby in this floor.

Something felt not right in his heart. Sometimes this feeling guided him to be aware of something bad that would happen. But what would happen soon? The question filled his mind, leaving no more space until he could not think another else straightly.

Bruk! He bumped into someone. It was one of the dancers. The dancer was just passing by when he happened to look like a silly boy walking without looking to the front.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… Are you okay?” Junsu apologized automatically.

The dancer smiled and patted Junsu’s shoulder lightly. “It’s okay. I should be the one who ask. Are you all right?”

Junsu smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m all right. I’m sorry, hyung.”

Then the dancer left him alone in the corridor. Suddenly Junsu remembered something.

“What did I say before?” Junsu thought in his mind as he aware of the new hint. “Did I say to look for in my bag?”

Junsu widened his eyes in surprise. “Oh, crap! There is my med in that bag.”

Junsu ran back to the practice room. In few seconds, he had reached the room and bursted the door open. Seemed like they had gotten what Junsu was afraid of showing them.

The three looked at him quizzically. They desperately needed an explanation.

Junsu looked down, cursing his silliness to let them know what he had hidden for such enough long time.

( = | ^_^ | *-:-* | ^_^ | = )

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