Will you still love me when I’m no longer the same old me?

It’s Okay.

I already know the answer.

It was 12.30 PM when the door knob popped, her eyes were swollen from tears but still she tried her best forged a smile, ‘I’m going to work Junhong, see you later.’ Her voice cracked. Junhong already knows that Janet is going to work; she won’t be back til 7 PM. Needless to say, Junhong knows everything, everything about Janet but he just nodded. He tried to smile, but the signals don’t seem to trigger any muscle movements, he’s broken physically and mentally.

He stood up slowly from the ground, his knees felt cranky, it screeched as though they’ve turned rusty from being stationary for the past 2 hours. They needed some oiling to ease the joints from moving, everything was just too painful. A stab of pain punched into his systems as he watched Janet leave through the main door without turning back, is the feeling of being abandon? Being unloved? Being unwanted? Was I too slow to get up to send her away? I don’t want to send Master Janet away; I don’t want to be away from Master Janet.

Without Janet’s love, Janet’s touch, Junhong would be nothing. Nothing but a robot. Nothing special. His batteries started to drain as though they were running his systems on high output but it was himself that was pulling the system down. Without love, his lifespan would be shortened, there’s no positive energy to overcome the negativity building inside of him. Again, like the first days of his arrival, he sat on the sofa like a fool, a lost puppy waiting for its owner to get him. His lids were heavy and for the first time, he felt like shutting down to the world, to end Janet’s misery, to end this burning pain inside of him. His world was darkness.

••••••

It was 7.30 PM when Janet got back home. There wasn’t dinner prepared, there wasn’t Junhong welcoming her home. All there was is silence and an inanimate Junhong on the sofa.

‘Junhong?’

‘Junhong-ah, wake up?’

His eye lids flinched, red led lights seeped through the cracks between those lids. Janet panicked & looked though the user manual on her mobile:

The robot’s eyes are LED indicators with patterns of notification:

Flashing Red: Robot is having a technical error, requires servicing

Red: Low Power, Requires Charging

Green: Fully Charged

Flashing Blue: Data processing

The USB cable, I need the USB cable.

Her hands were all over the place, she couldn’t find the cable that was right before her eyes. Anxiety took over, losing her sanity; she pushed items off the desk. Junhong’s hands tapped her shoulders, pointing towards the laptop where the USB is dangling on the side ports.

‘ I must be blind.’ Janet cursed as she quickly reached for the USB and plug it into the nape of his neck. She plugged the charger into the wall mounts and quickly started the laptop to get Junhong charging. Wiping her sweaty pants down her jeans, it suddenly struck Janet that she never had to charge Junhong in the past because as long as she was by his side, as long as she loved him, Junhong would never die.

With Junhong plugged in, his lids raised with his pupils flashing in blue, reading into his hard disk. Janet opens the folders to check; all of the previous data of Junhong was still present in E:/ZELO, he is Junhong but why isn’t he acting like he is. Janet opens the notebook folder again & found that there are brand new entries on his diary. Janet needs to get to Secret Garden again; she needed to find Youngjae too. Youngjae had to do some thorough explaining as to all the damage he has done to Junhong.

Janet: Roffy, will you guys be at Secret Garden tomorrow? I might need your boy’s help in translating some stuff.

Roffy: will be there before afternoon tea, if you need help urgently, find Crystal. She’ll help you.

Janet: Thanks. See you tomorrow.

‘Junhong-ah, are you Junhong?’ Janet asked while he sat still with his pupils still red but there was no response. Janet sighs & reads through the data log and activities to check what’s wrong with Junhong’s systems.

Temperature: High (Overheating)

System: Over clocked

Power: Low

Auto Shutdown

Janet was puzzled; puzzled by the fact that Junhong shut himself down.

Is this a self defence mechanism? Or is this the new OS’s implementation?

No one knows because Janet is yet again the first person to be using this OS, just like how she was the first person to use ZELO. Janet hated unpredictability; she doesn’t like to deal with things that have no definite results, no happy ending, constantly put into test but she couldn’t do without Junhong. She disliked the fact that she relied heavily on others for translation, for help; she hate being helpless. Perhaps it’s about time she learnt how to be independent & acquire skills that makes her a better person.

For the next hour, Janet sat beside Junhong browsing through language schools that offered classes for Korean, at least she could understand Junhong’s diaries, she could communicate with him one way or another if Junhong no longer speaks. Every few minute she would peer over to check if he’s eyes were green but they were remained red. There’s no indication as to how much longer is Junhong required to be fully charged nor was there numerical indications of how many percent is charged. Time seems to pass painstakingly slow & her tummy started to complain about its emptiness having nothing to digest but itself.

‘Junhong-ah, Noona’s hungry.’ Janet leaned onto Junhong’s arms; she could hear some rattling on his insides. His eyes blinked a couple of times before turning green. He turned over to look at Janet, the Master he loves. The left corner of his lips twitched, trying to smile but only ended up looking like a derp. Janet laughed, Junhong laughed inside of his head too but without a sound.

He removed the USB & got up quickly, making his way to the kitchen to make Janet her supper. Janet couldn’t take her eyes off Junhong. His derp face, that was the first time she had seen this cute little thing make such a face but it didn’t make her dislike his ugliness. It only made her loved him more. She was worried that for a second she leaves his side, he would shut down on his own again or even be gone for good. She knew that deep inside, no matter how much he’s changed she would always still love him because he had already grew his roots deep into her heart. He was part of her; she relied on him more than she should be. She is the reason he lives, his source of life and so was he. As long as he still has the same face, she would always recognize him and acknowledge him as the Junhong she knew & loved him like she always did. It doesn’t matter if he no longer spoke to her with that nasal voice she missed, all that matters is that he’s back by her side & his presence is all that she needs.

••••••

The night was shorter than expected, maybe it was because Junhong was by her side. She could finally sleep with ease. Janet felt secured feeling his weight sinking into the mattress beside her, his robotic churnings were lullabies that sang her to sleep. There weren’t any dreams, hours passed feeling like minutes. Having Junhong back itself was a dream, a dream she never wanted to wake up from.

Before she knew it, it was daybreak. Junhong wasn’t sleeping beside her but she could hear the sizzling from the kitchen. She slaps her face back into the pillows, feeling stupid for not reminding Junhong to skip the breakfast since they would be going to Secret Garden. The tap water was running, Junhong was washing the dishes and utensils. Soon enough he’ll be in the room to wake Janet up to have the breakfast while it’s hot. Janet pretended to sleep.

A cold tip probed her cheeks, attempting to wake her up. Junhong knew better Janet wasn’t sleeping from the way she breathes. Annoyed with the poking, Janet turned over to hit Junhong but before she could land her fist on him, her lips were pressed onto his. Blood rushing to her head, her ears were warmth, her cheeks glowing in red. She squeezed her eyes as her mind when white while her hands found their way down his back. His lips turned warm as she bit them hard making way for her entrance. It felt nice, it felt real. Janet hasn’t felt like this in a long time, she hasn’t kissed Junhong this way before. The only time their lips touched was the night Junhong picked her up from work, the awful day when Sunggyu came haunting back with pricks in his words. Janet wanted to indulge in this moment with Junhong, a moment of love.

Junhong’s tongue was cold but it stole the warmth of Janet’s oral cavity, it felt as though Junhong was reciprocating her feelings. She hoped she wasn’t imagining things, she hoped this ‘dream’ was reality. It wasn’t long until she had Junhong beneath the sheets, between her knees and then she snapped back to reality. She needed to wake up from her sleep because she knew better that he’s too young for this; he looked too young for this. Maybe it isn’t the right time, maybe if there wasn’t any lights, maybe if she didn’t look him in the eyes, she would have done it with him. Slowly, she climbed her way to the side of the bed.

‘We’re going to Secret Garden, Junhong. It’s time to get out of bed.’ She said with her voice shaky. I must have lost my mind, just what the hell was I doing. Janet grabbed a handful of sheets, ashamed by her behaviour a few seconds ago but a large pair of hands grabbed her waist from the back, his chin on her collarbones, resting his head there. She felt a breeze of cool air brushing across her cheeks but she couldn’t figure out what Junhong was saying. But the reflection off the windows seems to read:

‘Sa-rang-hae-yo… Noo-na’ 

A/N: I had so much more to write but i think it's too bloody long, so I'll split it up. Hope you enjoyed the update. It's going to end soon! If you're bored waiting for the update, do check out my other fics <3 pyyonggg