"Fear only arises when you lose control of something you think you can grab hold of"  

These words that were never known to anyone else but Junhong, were the warmest words with the sharpest pain taken straight to her heart. A pain that could only waited to be treated by one person, Junhong. The boys sat there in silence while she wails, placing the papers back to the center of the table where she places them and walks away. There were no other robots that could comfort Janet because they’re not like Junhong, they can’t feel emotion. Junhong was different, Junhong is irreplaceable. Janet holds on tightly to these papers, these words of love that she never got to hear from Junhong, these words that might be the only physical representation of Junhong now or forever more.

What if Junhong never comes back?

What am I going to do?

I don’t want to live in regrets.

Please, give me back Junhong so that I can make things right again.

Crystal rubs Janet’s back, passing her a couple of serviettes to clean herself. ‘We’re always here for you, Janet. We’ll pray for Junhong’s return.’ Janet nods.

The atmosphere at the Coffee Shop is gloomy; Janet sits at the alfresco alone, looking at these foreign letters, feeling every single bit of emotions Junhong had in these words; her chest tightens in pain again, the taste of saltiness returns into her lips. The harsh reality is cruel, as much as she wanted to turn back time, time never goes back in time it only move forward. Even if time stops here in Secret Garden nothing is going to change, she should have just stayed with Junhong here the other time they came. So they could be in this moment called forever, so she won’t receive that bloody email to have Junhong taken, she wouldn’t have to be separated from Junhong. All she could do was cry over spilt milk, cry over something that has already happened. She didn’t need time to stop now, she needed time to fast forward to the day Junhong returns, so she doesn’t have to feel the pain, the agony of waiting for something that might not even happen. She needs to leave this place where time stops for everyone to enjoy their moment but it wasn’t the time for her time of her life anymore.

Youngjae waits for Janet at the Alley towards the direction of Exit. No one could explain how he knew when she’s coming and going, but Youngjae somehow seems to know it all. He doesn’t say a word, offering her an arm to hold. She curls hand her hands onto his arms, letting her head rest on his while they walked, making her way out of this timeless facility.

‘Junhong said he wanted to be Human.’ She sniffed.

‘There are something that only human could do, human could feel. Robots are just machines, Janet. There’s a limitation to everything.’ Youngjae pulls out a handkerchief and places it on her nose, pinching it lightly. ‘Blow.’

Janet squints as she forcefully expulse the blockage in her nose, ‘Thanks.’

‘What did you mean by you and Junhong are the same and that you didn’t want him to be alone like you?’ Janet looked up to Youngjae, waiting for his answer, ‘He wrote in his diary.’

 ‘Both Junhong and I are robots.’ He paused.

‘I know.’ Janet replies sarcastically, wanting to hear more than the obvious.

‘I was a Beta Version when I was bought a small family as a housekeeper and tutor to help my Master out with her son’s studies but I was doing more than I should be doing, my master got afraid of me so she threw me away to the authorities asking to be scrapped.’ Youngjae’s head was hanging low. Janet didn’t mean to make him remember his sad past; it must have been hard to be abandoned.

‘What’s wrong with doing what you think is right for their family?’ Janet argued, angry over the fact that Youngjae’s kind acts were unappreciated.

‘You see, we’re not supposed to do more than we were told to do so. I taught her son a faster method to solve the mathematical sums that were not part of his syllabus, it because a problem in his school homework which alerted my master. Most of the time, I made some changes to the meals because her son didn’t like the way the food tasted and my Master was being afraid that I had a mind of my own & not taking her instructions. She feared me, so she got rid of me.’ Youngjae explains, ‘At that point of time, I must have forgotten that I’m not a human but part of their family. I didn’t want to see history repeating itself in front of me, so I warned Junhong.’

‘But how did you know Junhong was having such issues?’ Janet asked.

‘The government bodies found my abilities to useful for informational purposes, so I was put into testing.’ Youngjae’s eyes blinks repeatedly, as though he’s trying to remember something painfully, ‘I can’t remember what happened but I was programmed in such a way that I picked up all robotic frequencies and I acted like an anti-virus software which could excess & scan their hard disk, ensuring that there were no other threats like me walking on the streets.’

‘But how could you read mine?’ Janet couldn’t seem to understand that, Janet was a human, not a robot but Youngjae could still read her mine.

‘Because your mind’s in the same frequency as Junhong’s.’ Youngjae smiled, ‘Usually when a robot and its master have an intimate relationship for long enough, their minds start to think in the same frequency.’  Janet’s face flushed red with heat, her grip tightened on his sleeves, ‘Which is why I’m jealous of Junhong. I wanted to have someone who was in the same frequency as me; that way I wouldn’t be alone.’

‘But I’m alone now and it’s all you fault, Yoo Youngjae. You reported Junhong.’ Janet stuttered.

‘When I’m in the eyes of the public, I have to do my job. I’m being watched too.’ Youngjae’s voice sounds apologetic, ‘When I’m out of sight, out of frequency I do what I can to help Junhong. I’ve given him a virus to wipe out his system so that they can’t get anything out of him when he’s send for servicing.’

‘WHAT? VIRUS?’ Janet screamed at Youngjae, hitting his plastic arms ‘JUNHONG WONT REMEMBER ME ANYMORE?’ Youngjae nodded.

‘But I backed him up, it should be okay right?’ Janet panicked. Youngjae shook his head ‘If you backed him up after the virus infection, Junhong will be reinfected with the virus. He will be sent for servicing again.’

‘Why didn’t anyone tell me about this? What am I going to do if Junhong doesn’t remember me anymore?’ Janet was about to break down into tears again, the exit was near; the sound of the crowd could be heard.

‘At least, Junhong will be returned to you. You can always make new memories.’ Youngjae pulls Janet’s hands away and walks back into the crowd, leaving her alone in the alley.

When robot is too human, it becomes a threat, a new species of its own; a species of immortality. The Government watches everything, everywhere; undercover spies and camera surveillances. Afraid of the branching of a new species into the phylogenetic tree, a species close to homo sapiens, a species created by homo sapiens; a species like Junhong, like Youngjae. Except for Secret Garden, Secret Garden was made solely for robots, where its location can only be found via signal transmission of an obscure frequency only receivable by robots. Secret Garden is a black spot; untraceable, unknown to the normal human world which is why the government has to use Youngjae, a species they’ve created yet feared to uncover the secret grounds.

But Youngjae knows, he knows they’re watching him, his time is near.

‘I’m sorry Janet; I never had a chance to love someone. That will be my first and last kiss. Goodbye.’