I remembered the snow that had fallen and layered on the backyard lawn. It was mesmerizing just watching it. It was the first day of winter and I was but 7 years old when I first saw snow. I was born in Australia, a country where snow was only witnessed at its highest peaks. My father had chosen to move there when mum and dad were married. He became a general family doctor in the town we lived in. Father however was called back to manage the hospital in Seoul when his father had grown weak and when I arrived in South Korea in the autumn, I didn’t get to spend much time with my grandfather before he passed away.

            Our backyard was glistening with pure white stones. Although the sun was shining, it did no harm to snow; it just made the ice look breathtakingly beautiful. Excitedly, I asked mum whether I could go outside to play. She gave her approval as long as I dressed warmly. And so there I was standing with gumboots that dug into the snow. I looked like a plump child who had too much to eat but that was only because I had so many layers on.

            “Mum, the snow is so cold.” I told her as I reached to grab the beautiful white sand. “Why is it so cold?”

            My mother was stunning. She had hazel eyes that glowed warmly at me every time I looked at them. Unlike me, she looked amazing in her snow outfit; her slender figure made her look great despite what she was wearing. I remembered I had awed at her countless of times when she would go out to evening parties with my uncle; father never enjoyed those types of events and frequently rejected them. I have always wanted to go with her.

            My mother walked up to me and removed her glove then she covered the snow on my hand with her bare palm and smiled at me. “Snow is cold because it is in need of the sun to give it warmth.” She removed her hand and I saw that there was only water left. “Just as the snow needs the sun, the sun also needs the snow. Just as the cold needs warmth, the warm needs to give their warmth away.”

            “Do you understand Minji?” Mum asked me. I shook my head furiously, feeling a little confused. My mother laughed. “It’s okay. You don’t have to understand it yet. Just remember it, Minji, and one day you’ll understand what I mean.”

            I grabbed a small clump of snow and laid it on my hand in direct sunlight. I was intrigued as I watched the ice slowly melt and become water. It was then that I believed that no matter how much snow there was during the winter, the sun will always give it its warmth and make spring come.

                        The room I was in now looked familiar. There were wooden walls and the bed with white sheets and blankets. There was a certain creaking sound that made the room feel like it was rocking and I was rocking with it. I was lying within the blankets on the bed completely warm and comfortable. It was when I decided to shift around that it didn’t feel right. My arms and body seemed to be entrapped. Not knowing what to do, I tried to turn to find a door to this room.

            I was horrified to find myself face to face with Jaejoong, peacefully sleeping beside me. I looked down and saw his arms encircling around my body tightly and without any second thoughts, I hastily kicked him away from me. That was a bad choice since he was holding me securely and although I managed to get him off the bed, I was dragged down with him. His pain was evident in his face when his back hit the floor with me on top of him.

            Although he was slowly orientating himself, I wanted to immediately get off of him. “Let go.” I was startled to hear that my voice was very soft. After a while he removed his arms and started rubbing his eyes with his hands. Given the golden opportunity, I quickly stood up but feeling nauseous and dizzy, I found myself collapsing on him again. What was wrong with me?

            Jaejoong looked at me groggily. For someone who had woken up falling from the bed and having someone falling on them twice, it must have been a bad start to the day. I slowly looked at him feeling reluctant to move any part of my body at all. Jaejoong sighed in frustration but quickly wore his dazzling smile. “Good morning.” He crooned.

            “You don’t need to act.” I tried to speak strongly but my voice came out slurry. I was well aware that we were still in the boat now. “He’s not here.”

            “He’s sleeping on the couch just outside this room though.” Jaejoong whispered so that only I could hear. He edged in closer and smiled maliciously at me. I saw what was coming next and quickly retreated only to have him reel me in. I turned away just in time before he could plant his lips on mine. Instead he got the same cheek. “What’s wrong?” Jaejoong laughed. I didn’t dare look at him. “Can’t I give my girlfriend a morning kiss?”

            “Let go of me.” My voice was croaking inaudibly now. The way Jaejoong was acting now was really scary. He had never decided to get so close to a girl before, he was always pushing them away. So why was he being so intimate with me?

            He released me and I quickly sat up. He stood up and suddenly lifted me in his arms and laid me on the bed. Startled by his actions I just looked up at him with widened eyes. He took this chance to peck me on the lips and my heart started hammering inside me. He just kissed me! What?

            “You know you’re very pretty.” He had his wicked smile on again. “My little angel.”

            “I don’t get it.” I stammered after some time. “You hate me but you make me your girlfriend.”

            “I think you forgot what I said yesterday.” Jaejoong leaned in and muttered. “It’s being surrounded by those who hate you that make your life miserable.”

            I felt a shiver run down my spine but that quickly diminished when the boat owner barged into the room. “Has her fever gone down?” He asked.

            Jaejoong placed a hand on my forehead. I had a fever? “It’s lower but still a little high.” Jaejoong answered. No wonder I was so weak and lethargic. “I’d say some food and rest will make it better.”

            The old man smiled brightly at the idea. “The two of you are perfect for one another. I have never seen a couple look after each other so well.”

            Jaejoong chuckled charismatically. “You’re exaggerating. All I did was change her clothes, wipe her body and keep her warm.” He then turned to me and lifted an eyebrow.

            After taking in what he had said, I felt petrified. I looked down to see that I was in a set of blue pajamas. I was still wearing the same undergarments though and my snowflake pendant still hung around my neck but I could feel the colour drain out of my face.

            “I’ll go make some congee.” The boat owner suggested.

            “Thank you.” Jaejoong said. He turned to me when the old man left.

            “You saw everything?”

            “I told you that you were pretty.” Jaejoong said casually. “And I had to get rid of those hideous overalls. They were eye straining.”

            I could feel my eyes well up so I bit my lip and looked down at the only comfort I had left, my beautiful necklace. I wasn’t going to break down because of this. I had experienced so much worse. But it still hurt to feel exposed like that.

            “Your hair is very beautiful too.” Jaejoong added grabbing a bunch and interlacing it with his fingers only to find it knotting up at the ends. “Too bad it’s tangled at the moment.” He opened the drawer at the bedside table and grabbed a comb and began to brush. I tried to block out everything he was saying and doing, by taking deep silent breaths in and out. I pretended that the person brushing my hair was my mum. It was easy to since he was just as gentle as my mother.

            And then I suddenly realised that I had dreamt of her last night; her and the sun and the snow. The snow needs the sun and the sun needs the snow; could I compare it to the relationship I had with Jaejoong? Was he the icy snow and I the warm sun? Maybe I could melt his cold heart? I had to try at the very least. “I’m going to do it.” I muttered softly.

            “What?” Jaejoong questioned from behind me.

            “I’m going to show you that there is no way that you can make my life a living hell.” My voice was coming back. I was going melt the coldness within Jaejoong. I was going to try. I turned to him and gave him a determined look; bright eyes and balled fists.

            He returned with the usual smile and expressionless eyes. “I’d like to see you try.”

                        By noon, I was feeling much better and both the boat owner and Jaejoong agreed that I could head home. I quickly changed into the clothes I wore yesterday and stepped foot on the pier, which felt strange considering that I was on a boat for almost 24 hours.

            I bowed low. “Thank you sir, for the shelter, the food and for taking care of us. You even brought our clothes to the drycleaners while we were both unwell.” I was full of gratitude towards him.

            “No need to be so formal. Just call me Il Shik, Hwang Il Shik.” He laughed merrily. “And besides, I was being bribed by your boyfriend anyways. You think that I have the penny to buy fish this season for your congee? And you think that I could make congee taste that good?”

            I looked to Jaejoong in utter shock. He had paid for everything. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “Anything for her. Consider it my treat to you Mr. Hwang. There’s still plenty left I presume?”

            Mr. Hwang nodded. “You young ones are so polite. Feel free to visit again anytime you want.” Next time I visit, I had to make something scrumptious for him. I bowed low and muttered another thank you then we went on our way.

            “I didn’t know you could cook.” I said after we had entered a suburban area filled with vintage houses and thin bright green trees growing near the footpath.

            Jaejoong shrugged as if he couldn’t care less. “I just make what I feel like eating. You were just lucky you were sick, or else you would have got none.” He glanced at me slyly. “Nevertheless, don’t you think I deserve a reward?” He pointed to his cheek.

            I ignored his demand and trudged ahead of him. “Just because you forcefully do those things to me doesn’t mean that you can force me to do it back to you.”

            He gave no response so I couldn’t help but turn to see what he was up to. I tilted my head to the left, only to smash my lips onto something milky and soft. I stared at the cheek feeling utterly dumbfounded and speechless. Jaejoong looked very satisfied and straightened his posture. I couldn’t believe how sneaky and childish he could be. “Are you happy now?” I asked.

            “Very.” He bit his bottom lip to stifle a laugh.

            I nodded. “Good.” And continued walking.

            “Hey! Wait up.”

            This time I really ignored him.

            “Are you really going to ignore me?” His tone was cold like the harshest blizzard. I shivered a little but didn’t turn back. “Hey.” Jaejoong was now walking backwards in front of me waving his hands in front of my face. I couldn’t help but smile a little. I didn’t know what he meant by ‘living hell’ but this wasn’t it. He actually looked really adorable at the moment, almost as cute as Junsu.

            His arm was swaying all around the place and I couldn’t help but remember the injury he had. “How did you hurt your arm so bad?” I asked.

            Jaejoong stopped in his tracks and I almost knocked into him. “I fell down and scraped it when I was landing.”

            “That’s a really big scrape.” I commented. I couldn’t imagine how tripping on yourself could cause such a big scratch.

            Jaejoong looked up brightly. “Well it was a big fall.”

            Why of course! If he had fallen from somewhere high, he could’ve badly injured himself. “Are you suicidal or something?” I asked.

            “Nope.” Jaejoong put the tip of his index finger and thumb an inch away from each other. “Just a tad bit adventurous.”

            “But it’s dangerous.”

            Jaejoong shook his head. “It was actually really fun.”

            I bit my lip. This guy had some serious problems. He was probably a masochist. Ever since I knew him, he had always brought trouble to himself. The small arguments with the teacher turned serious and he got punished many times. He hurts the people around him by speaking coldly at them but he also hurt himself because he also puts himself down. And now I’ve discovered that he does reckless things for ‘fun’. “You need to start caring for yourself Jaejoong.” It was almost like I was scolding him. “You can’t just go around causing havoc and hurting yourself as well. At the very least have some sympathy for yourself.”

            “Says the hypocrite.”

            “What?” I looked to Jaejoong. His face was stern but he didn’t look at me.

            “You tell me to look out for myself but it’s not like you do the same.” Jaejoong spoke coldly. “You out of all people, you’re telling me off for jumping off buildings when you almost got smashed by a car yourself.”

            “I’m not like you Jaejoong. At the very least, I care about others.” I was the sun, I added to myself. “You’re cold and heartless to everyone, including yourself. Why don’t you start caring for yourself? Maybe in time you can learn to care for others.”

            “I don’t deserve it.” His response was short and simple. I in the cold wind that had suddenly turned rough. The same hollow eyes looked back at me; the eyes that I had interpreted as cold and merciless didn’t seem to symbolize those emotions anymore. I could almost feel its true meaning radiating out of Jaejoong’s blood, flesh and bone. He was sad, very sad. No. He was broken.

            My hand reached out for him slowly, taking its time to grab his shoulder. “Jaejoong.” I crooned. He took this opportunity to wrap his arms around my waist and pull me into a tight embrace. I decided not to push him away. He needed a shoulder to cry on and I was happy to lend him one. He didn’t cry but stayed in position for a while.

            And then after some time, I heard him chuckle coldly. “When will you stop being such an angel?” He sneered. I was terribly astounded to hear his husky voice in a tone so low and dangerous. “You know I hate it right?”

            “Why do you care what I am? You’re supposed to not care about anything at all.”

            Jaejoong released me. “But I do care.” His tone was icily sweet. “I care about making you suffer.”

            “Minni.” I turned around to voice that was way too familiar. The way the mistress spoke was dull and lacked any compassion at all, whether it was hate or affection. I saw that I had only reached my house and I was just standing in front of the yard with Jaejoong. She couldn’t have heard our conversation but she sure would have seen what was going on. I could feel myself turn cold; I knew I was in deep trouble. “Jaejoong.” She approached us. “What brings you here today? Are you here to see Hana? Unfortunately she’s not in at the moment.” The mistress knew of her daughter’s feelings for the man standing in front of her.

            “Actually, I was just sending Minni home.” Jaejoong responded. “I think I should formally address myself.”

            I bit my lip fearing what he was about to say next. I knew that whatever I said or did would be futile. The mistress accepted no excuses from me, all I could do was desperately hope Jaejoong didn’t say anything to anger her.

            “I am Minni’s boyfriend.” Jaejoong bowed a little. “I apologise for her late return. She had a fever last night and I had to take her to the hospital.”

            The mistress stared at me and I didn’t dare look back. “You have a boyfriend, Minni?” I remained silent. She turned back to Jaejoong. “Well, I’m glad you could bring her back safely. Thank you.”

            “No. I was only doing what I must do.” He said. “I should be on my way now.”

            “Feel free to drop by anytime.” The mistress inserted and Jaejoong bowed again and departed. I turned to stone. Every part of me felt heavy. “Come inside Minni. We wouldn’t want your fever to come back now do we?” A shiver ran up and down my spine but I did as I was told.

            I closed the front door and stood in front of the mistress anticipating her ruthlessness. She just glared at me in silence. “I can explain myself.” I began.

            After that I shrieked in pain. The mistress had grabbed me by my hair and pulled it in all directions. “Explain what? How you stole Hana’s boyfriend?” She grabbed an umbrella that we always kept near the front door and started whacking me ferociously. “You disappeared last night making both Hana and Junsu worried sick and now you come back with a boyfriend who happens to be the same person that Hana has loved for so long?” She growled. “What petty excuse can explain how he embraced you in front of my house?” I couldn’t say anything; all I could do was cry in pain. I felt the agony all over my body. My hair was a tangled mess. Although I hopelessly tried to escape, the mistress would never stop until she was satisfied. And when she was, she always finished with the same words; a sneer that dripped like black toxin. “You are exactly like your mother.”

            I knew she hated me because of my mum and there were several times when I have asked how she and my mum were acquainted and why she despised her so much. The mistress never answered me and after time, I gave up on finding out.

            I crawled to my room and sat at the foot of my bed after I had received my punishment. Was this what Jaejoong meant by torturing me? I forked my fingers through my hair trying to make it look a little tidier. “It’s far from the heart.” I comforted myself. It’s very far from the heart, Jaejoong. I wasn’t defeated yet.

                        By the time Hana and Junsu were home, I had already washed my face, fixed my hair and changed my clothes. I was now catching up on the homework I hadn’t had a chance to do yesterday. Junsu barged into my room without even bothering to knock.

            “Minni!” He cried. “Where were you yesterday? We were all so worried.”

            “I had a fever and someone took me to the hospital for the night.” I stuck to what Jaejoong had said earlier so things wouldn’t get too complicated.

            Junsu started to panic. “Are you okay? You got enough rest last night, right? The hospital had good food?”

            “Yes, I think I slept for almost half the day.” I smiled when I remembered that it was the cold-hearted who had cared for me though he acted like such a e. “The food was great as well.”

            “Who took you to the hospital?” Hana was leaning against the doorframe of the open bedroom door.

            I gulped but decided to be honest. “Jaejoong.”

            Junsu’s eyes widened and his mouth gaped open. “Are you serious? Ow! What was that for?”

            Hana had just whacked her older brother across the head. “Do you want mum to hear?” Junsu zipped his lips straight away. “Actually, can you leave us alone? I want to have some girl talk with Minni.” Hana asked. Junsu eyed her suspiciously but he decided to walk out slowly, closing the door quietly behind him.

            Hana took a seat on my bed and patted the space beside her, signalling me to join her. I did so, trying hard to hide the bruises and stings I could feel. She grasped my forearm and I scrunched my face fighting the urge to wail again. Hana was very witty. She quickly but carefully lifted up my sleeve revealing pale red streaks on my forearm. She hissed at the sight. “I knew mum was very brutal to you but I never thought she’d do all this just because you were at a hospital for a night without telling her.”

            “It wasn’t because of that. It was because Jaejoong brought me home and told her we were a couple.” I confessed. I saw a bottle drop from Hana’s hand and land with a ‘plop’ on the floor.

            “And is it true?” Her voice was very dry.

            I shamefully nodded.

            “Do you love him?”

            “It’s not like that, Hana. He’s just playing with me.” I protested.

            “But you agreed to it.”

            I pursed my lips together. “You know Jaejoong, he gets what he wants. If he decides to make me his girlfriend, there’s really nothing that I can do about it.”

            Hana rose from the bed and I could feel myself sink further in. “No. Don’t say anything.” She turned away.

            “He wants to make my life miserable.” I concluded with a pleading tone. Hana looked down at me; her watery eyes showed pain and sadness. I saw a tear fall and drop to the floor beside the tiny glass jar that she had brought in with her earlier. Slowly, I picked it up and read the label; it was an ointment for bruises. I looked up from the jar and although I knew that Hana had already exited the room, I still hoped that she would enter again.

                        The walk to school the next day was very awkward. Hana refused to say a word to me all morning and Junsu was managing two different conversations. When we stepped past the school gates, Hana as usual, went to find Jaemi and left Junsu and I to be greeted by Yoochun, Kimmi and Changmin.

            “Where were you? We were worried sick!” Kimmi cried, embracing me tightly. I had put the ointment on last night so thankfully my wounds didn’t hurt so much today.

            Yoochun smiled brightly. “You should have seen Kimmi that day. She was literally pulling her hair out, looking for you.” Kimmi glared at him and he flinched before she even laid a finger on him.

            “Yoochun was her punching bag for the day.” Changmin added.

            Yoochun frowned. “I’m her punching bag everyday.”

            “Yeah but that day, she was more frustrated than usual, hence you got more hits.” Changmin explained. “But no regrets, right?”

            Yoochun put on a wide smile and nodded. Kimmi kicked him in the stomach sending him to the ground. “Are you sure you don’t regret it?” Kimmi towered before him. “Even though I felt sorry for you and treated your wounds yesterday, it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to harm you anymore pretty boy.”

            “Punching bag is the correct term to use Kimmi.” Changmin commented.

            Kimmi looked like she wanted to punch her brother but she held back and looked at me. “You still haven’t answered my question yet, Minni.”

            “I got a fever yesterday and went to the hospital to stay for the night.” I told the lie again.

            “How? None of us were with you.” Kimmi further interrogated.

            “Her boyfriend of course. He was quite the gentleman.” I felt an arm sling around my shoulder and looked behind to the person who had just spoken. It was none other than Jaejoong.

            “Boyfriend?” Kimmi gasped. “Who?”

            Jaejoong ignored her and faced me. For some reason, I couldn’t look away. What was he up to now? He quickly pecked my lips and retreated, giving me a signature smile. He kissed me, again!

            I should have seen that coming. My heart began to flutter rapidly as I looked to my friends. Kimmi, Yoochun and Changmin wore the same expression; wide eyes and gaped mouths. Junsu had a hand to his mouth mumbling something I couldn’t decipher at that moment because behind him, behind my friends and Jaejoong, all eyes were on me.

A/N:

this chapter is longer than usual. i was hoping to make up for the earlier chapter which was a tad too short. 

honestly minni is a very soft person. i'm sorry if you expected a main girl who fights back. her only way to fight back is by opening up their hearts hence she is an 'angel' i guess.

i don't even know myself whether minni has feelings for jaejoong just yet but jaejoong seems to be having fun with this fake relationship thing, don't you guys think?

feel free to tell me if my story is lacking in anything and more than anything else, i really hope you guys like it!

and lastly thank you to those who have subscribed to this story. you're the ones that make me feel loved. I LOVE YOUS!!! <3 ^^

whitedreamm