“Why does she have to be like that?”

            “Who?” Jungwoo asked Haeyoung. The little boy didn’t respond. Instead, his brow creased as if he was thinking critically. “Are you talking about Minji?”             “Who else would I be talking about?”

            “I don’t know, your girlfriend?” Jungwoo snickered.

            Haeyoung threw an apple on the table at him in which Jungwoo caught easily. “I am only 8 years old. Why would I have a girlfriend?”

            “Okay okay. So what were you saying about Minji?” Jungwoo got back on topic.

            “Shouldn’t she hate me? I want to kill her. She should at least be afraid.”

            The same apple now hit Haeyoung on the head. “She is scared of you. What are you, stupid?”

            “Well that explains why she doesn’t want to kill me then.” Haeyoung exclaimed. “It’s because she is too afraid to kill me.”

            Jungwoo approached Haeyoung and tapped him on the head. “Wrong again! Minji would never hurt anyone.” Jungwoo said confidently. “Except for maybe herself. She can be so clumsy at times.” He added as an afterthought, chuckling at the thought.

            “And you think I’m the one with a girlfriend.” Haeyoung chortled a little at his own joke.

            Jungwoo flushed but tried to remain calm and collected. “I’m not the one who is still keeping her crumbled cookies in the drawer.”

            This time, Haeyoung turned red but he still had things under control. “No, I won’t eat her toxic crap, unlike someone around here.”

            “You’re not throwing it in the bin either.” Jungwoo added.

            Before Haeyoung could come up with a smart comeback, there was a knock at the door and two professionally clothed people entered. One was a tall man looking smart in a long white coat. Haeyoung glared at him.

            “Jungwoo, would you like to stay while I do the regular check up on your friend?” Dr. Song asked.

            “Yes sir.” Jungwoo responded politely.

            Dr. Song beamed at him before turning to Han Haeyoung. “How are you today?” For every check up, the routine was the same for the doctor. Haeyoung returned a sour expression and then looked away from the doctor. The doctor and the nurse looked at each other and then the nurse began checking Haeyoung’s body temperature and blood pressure.

            Dr. Song was the one who jotted down the numbers even though it was normally the nurse who would do this. With Haeyoung, it was different. “Hyemi, Jungwoo, may I have a word with Haeyoung alone?” Dr. Song asked the two politely after the check up was completed.

            “Certainly sir.” Jungwoo exclaimed. The nurse bowed and left with Jungwoo.

            The doctor watched them leave making sure that they closed the door shut. He then turned to the patient and took careful steps towards the young boy. “Haeyoung.” Dr. Song began. “I know I have asked you many times but I am very curious. Why have you come here to see me and yet, not utter a word to me?” He was now leaning in on the patient. “You came to my hospital, thirsty, starving and tired, screaming out my name. And then before I could see you, you collapsed from minor malnutrition.” Haeyoung stirred a little but didn’t say anything so Dr. Song continued. “When you awoke from consciousness, you keep looking at me like you want to kill-“

            A sharp but small incision lay on the doctor’s cheek. Mr. Song quickly spied the surgeon knife in the young boy’s hand and snatched it away. “Where did you get a scalpel from?”

            “I do want to kill you.” Haeyoung sneered at him. “I want you to die! You! It’s all your fault!!”

            “Just whatever did I do to you Haeyoung?” The doctor was still able to remain calm.

            Haeyoung leaned for the scalpel. “Give that back to me!”

            Dr. Song put it on the TV unit out of his reach. “I will not let you kill someone. This is a hospital where lives are saved.”

            “It’s also where people die!” Haeyoung bellowed. “Don’t tell me that no one has died here because it’s not true!”

            The doctor took a breath in and out. “It is true that there are those who have passed on here, but as a doctor, we try our very best to preserve their lives.”

            “Bull!” Haeyoung swore.

            “Haeyoung!” Dr. Song’s tone turned stern. “I will not tolerate such foul language in my hospital. You’re so young. It’s not natural to have such a passion to murder someone so carelessly. You have the potential to great things Haeyoung. Don’t waste your time ruining the life of others.” He looked at Haeyoung piteously. “Because in the end, you won’t harm them, you’ll only hurt yourself.”

            “What! Are you going to kill me now too? Seeing that you already know that I want to kill you.” Haeyoung tried to hide it but being an 8 year old boy, he still feared death.

            “Haeyoung.” Mr. Song was soothing again. “You don’t understand the feeling you have knowing that you’re responsible for the death of someone. You’re too young to know what it feels like.”

            “I bet you know how it feels.” The boy said gruffly.

            “Of course I do. Being a doctor, there are times when it’s too late to save someone. Even when I have put in my absolute best effort, their life still seems to slip through my very fingers. I feel like they died because of me. It feels awful.”

            Haeyoung stared at the doctor speechless. His thoughts were just on the doctor’s last words that he couldn’t phrase his next speech.

            “So don’t kill anyone. Don’t hurt anyone.” The doctor advised. “Because I can tell that you think your life already and I’m sure you don’t want it to get any worse.” He pressed his lips into a smile but it only made his lips look thinner. “I’ll visit again Haeyoung. Remember you cannot go home unless I know for sure who you are and what is your reason for visiting me two weeks ago.” And the doctor grabbed the scalpel and left the room.

            “Haeyoung.” Jungwoo ran back into the room. “What happened? Mr. Song is bleeding.”

            “Stupid doctor.” Haeyoung cursed. “He’s just like his daughter.”

            Jungwoo shook his head. “He seems like a nice guy to me.”

            “He killed my mother.” Haeyoung spat, then he pressed his lips together. He was starting to feel uneasy. Something was faltering within him. What was it? Haeyoung couldn’t help but think about the doctor’s words. ‘I can tell that you think your life already and I’m sure you don’t want it to get any worse.’

                        “Where did you get that dress from?” Hana asked as I walked out to the sitting room.

            “Kimmi bought it for me.” I answered. “I haven’t thanked her yet. I need to do that.”

            Hana nodded and looked away.

            “You look beautiful!” Junsu cried, looking at me with gleaming eyes. “You should wear dresses more often.

            “I wear a school dress almost everyday.” I commented.

            Junsu scrunched up his face. “But that’s boring. You need more clothes like these.” He said gesturing to the dress.

            “Going out there to provoke other men I presume.” The mistress walked in, taking a place next to her daughter on the couch.

            “Mum, don’t say that!” Junsu bellowed, feeling honestly sad now.

            “It’s alright. I can’t force her to change her thoughts about me. Let her think of me as whatever she pleases.” I said. No matter how hard the wind blew, the mistress was like a tree branch that wouldn’t bend.

            The doorbell rang and I headed to the door, opening it up, hoping to see Jaejoong on the other side. Changmin stood before me still in his school uniform. “Hi Changmin! What are you doing here on a Friday night? Assignment?”

            He gaped at me for a second then replied. “Evening Minni. You look beautiful tonight.”

            I felt warmth envelope me and turned to see that Hana had placed a thick navy coat on my shoulders. “Thanks Hana.” I turned back to Changmin. “Thanks. Come in.”

            Changmin let himself in. “Let’s go!” Hana said and started walking to her room. Changmin started to follow Hana but then he turned my way again. “Minni!” He walked up to me and towered before me. “I…”

            “Hey Changmin.” Junsu cried from the sitting room. The mistress and his son looked at us. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice me when you walked in.” Junsu sulked. “I feel so sad now.”

            Changmin turned to them and bowed low. “Good evening Ms. Lee, Junsu. Sorry I didn’t see you back there. You were so quiet.”

            I felt a set of warm arms wrap around my waist from behind me. I tilted my head just in time to see Jaejoong nestle his head on my shoulder. He took in a deep breath and exhaled delightfully. “How I’ve missed you.”

            “Jaejoong, let’s go.” I said, feeling embarrassed that he was doing this in front of everyone. I released his arms around me and bowed low at the mistress. “I’ll take my leave now.”

            Jaejoong stood up straight and eyed the mistress. “Thanks for letting me take Minni out for the night. I’ll bring her home safe and sound.”

            The mistress pursed her lips together and didn’t respond. “Bye Minni, bye Jaejoong. Have fun on your date!” Junsu bellowed.

            I beamed at my little brother then looked at Hana and Changmin, only to catch her dragging him up the stairs. She didn’t even utter a farewell. It couldn’t be helped. Jaejoong wrapped his hand around mine and led me out the front door.

            I shut the front door, locking it tightly. “So where are we going?” I asked.

            “We’re walking.” Jaejoong eyed me and he smiled. “You’re wearing the dress.”

            “What do you mean, ‘the dress’?”

            “Nevermind, come on. Let’s go.”

            “Where are we going?”

            “You’ll find out soon.”

                        Changmin sat on a chair next to Hana, still as a statue. Hana was scribbling desperately away but she was regularly checking on Changmin who wasn’t moving an inch.

            As if she had had enough she slammed her pen on the desk and turned to her partner. “What is your problem?” She asked but she knew what his problem was. He was about to confess to Minni but he was disrupted by Junsu and her mother and then he was interrupted again by Jaejoong as well. He was embarrassed and sullen. Seeing him like this only put Hana on edge. She saw his gaunt face before and decided that the only way to help this poor boy was to drag him away as quickly as possible. “I think it’s obvious that you have some competition, what with Jaejoong and Yunho, but confessing to her when she still has a boyfriend isn’t right. That’s what you get.”

            Hana didn’t mean to say things so harshly. It was just how her mind worked. She didn’t want to be soft. She didn’t want to be her old self. And so her words cut like a knife.

            “But he’s her fake boyfriend.” Changmin began. There was no energy in his words.

            Hana shook her head in disappointment. “I thought you were a psychology kid. Haven’t you seen the way Jaejoong looks at Minni?”

            “She’s too good for him.” Changmin added, still feeling defeated.

            “You know Jaejoong now do you?” Hana raised an eyebrow. “Honestly, you ! You can’t know someone properly from just looking at them. You need to interact with them frequently to discover what kind of person they really are.”

            Changmin looked up. He was facing down the entire time. “And you know what kind of person he is?”

            “Of course I do!”

            “Right, are you sure your judgement is not biased. I mean you do have a crush on him.” Changmin was starting to joke again but they sounded hollow.

            “I used to have a crush on him.” Hana corrected him. “And I’m pretty sure I have a better idea of the kind of person he is than you. I used to date him.”

            “What?” Changmin spluttered. “You guys went out once?!”

            “Yes, but that is all in the past and I do not like to talk about it.”

            “So then.” Changmin was wearing a sly smile. “What are his weaknesses?”

            Hana gave him a look then sighed. “Weak people.”

            “What? How is that supposed to help me with Minni?” Changmin exclaimed.

            “It’s not supposed to help you with Minni. It’s supposed to help you understand.” Hana said. Thinking about Jaejoong always made her sad. It wasn’t that he did something terrible to her. In fact, he had done nothing wrong to her. She was the one who felt guilty. She felt then that she was using him.

            Changmin couldn’t help but notice the sad expression on Hana’s face. His hands pinched her cheeks awakening her from her sullen thoughts. “So soft!” He teased.

            “What are you doing?!” Hana bellowed, ing his hands away. “You’re going to expand my cheeks!”

            “Too soft and cute!” Changmin shrugged. “I just felt like squeezing them.”

            “And I feel like stabbing you.” Hana got her pen and took aim.

            Changmin easily disarmed her and flipped her pen around his fingers playfully. “You were saying?”

            Feeling completely hopeless and defeated, Hana looked back at her work. “I was saying that we now need to gather family photos for our assignment.” She read the sheet of paper. Hana blew her fringe out of her face, feeling angered but at the same time incompetent.

            Changmin smiled malevolently and used the blunt end of the pen to poke her cheeks. “Cutie.” He said and she flushed a little. That was okay for Changmin. He wanted her to show anything other than that sadness he had just witnessed a while ago.

                        “Hi Minni. It’s been a while hasn’t it?”

            I looked to the man I had met just a few weeks ago. He was in overalls and a flannel shirt standing on the deck of his boat.

            “And I have to say that you look lovely tonight. Jaejoong’s been treating you well, I presume.” Hwang Il Shik greeted me.

            “It’s nice to see you again.” I bowed at him. I remembered that I had to bring something nice for him next time, but this visit caught me by complete surprise.

            Il Shik smiled at me and turned to Jaejoong. “We meet again, Jaejoong.”

            “Good evening Mr. Hwang.” Jaejoong said. He wrapped an arm around me. “Thanks for letting us in tonight.”

            “It’s no biggy. I was wondering when you two would be visiting me again. It gets me excited just thinking about it.” Il Shik waved his hand in a gesture. “Come in, come in.”

            I stepped onto the boat feeling the sense of imbalance once again. Jaejoong stepped on after me, his hand still placed tightly on my shoulder. I entered the cabin and the heat radiated all around me. Il Shik must have left the heater on.

            “I got the items you wanted.” Il Shik said pointing to the plastic bags on the small kitchen bench. “What are you making again?”

            “Nothing fancy.” Jaejoong said. “Just kimchi fried rice.”

            I smiled at him. “It sounds delicious already. I’ll help.”

            “You guys are just the sweetest things alive.” Il Shik squealed before Jaejoong could utter a word. “I’ll leave you guys to it.”

            “You don’t have to.” Jaejoong said after he left. “I want to make it myself.”

            “But I…”

            The hands on my shoulder led me to a nearby couch and sat me down. “Sit down and just relax.” Jaejoong ordered but it didn’t sound terrifying at all. He was speaking gently and softly to me. Just like a gentleman. I really wanted to stand up and say ‘no’. I really wanted to help but the look on his face earnestly said that he wanted me to stay rooted in this position and so I didn’t move.    

            With nothing to do, all I could do was watch him as he cooked. He really did seem professional even when he was just dicing the kimchi. That just left me feeling that Jaejoong was really capable of everything. He does have the brains. He has the strength. He looked handsome. And he had a heart.

            “Staring at me like that, you must be dazed by me.” Jaejoong who had been concentrating on chopping, looked up from the dashboard.

            I didn’t feel shy and I didn’t flush, feeling that I was caught from spying. I knew he knew I was going to watch him. He had prepared all this beforehand. I smiled happily at him. “Of course I am. I’m so happy that you’re such a great person.”

            Surprisingly, I saw his cheeks redden in the dim light. He looked down and tried to focus on the kimchi again. “I see at last that you have fallen for me.”

            I was tired of his arrogance sometimes. I walked up at the bench, opposite him. One elbow rested on the table and my head lay on that hand. “Are you sure, it’s not the other way around?” I asked jokingly. “Are you sure it’s not you who has fallen for me?”

            He looked up and I was sure that the eyes that were already so round in shape, widen. Our eyes locked for a second and then he cussed. “You wish, sweet pea. Since when were you so full of yourself?”

            I pulled back. “I’m not. I’m just trying to imitate someone.”

            “Well you did that poorly.” Jaejoong moved the kimchi next to the stove and began to heat the pan. He came back to me and leaned in swiftly. Our lips were so close I could almost feel the taste of them. “If you were really trying,” His breath hit my lips. It was warm and strangely, inviting. “You would have done something like this.” Jaejoong finished and went back to the stove to continue cooking. I was saddened by his sudden retreat. Why? It was probably because then was a perfect opportunity to kiss him and lessen the debt I owed him.

            I trudged back to the couch and tried not to watch him. Outside, it was dark but I could tell we were no nowhere near land. Before I could ask any questions, Il Shik entered the room and announced, “I drove the boat out to sea. Apparently, there’s a full moon tonight. There’s no better place to watch it than from the roof of this boat surrounded by sea.”

            “Just in time.” Jaejoong called from the kitchen. “Dinner’s ready.” He turned to me and seemed to look disappointed. “Minni, why didn’t you set up the table? I was making us dinner, you could have shown more decency.”

            I gaped at him. Earlier, he had wanted me to sit down and relax and now he’s making me look bad in front of Mr. Hwang. I sighed and went to help out.

            “Just out of curiosity,” Mr. Hwand conversed at the dinner table, “when did you guys begin dating?”

            Jaejoong chuckled. “It’s funny you should ask. The day we were on your boat was our first date.”

            “Really?” Il Shik looked astounded. “I can’t believe it.” The shock didn’t leave his face. “I really can’t believe it.”

            “Why?” I asked.

            “Well, it’s just that the two of you seemed to understand each other so well that day. I thought you were together for many years already.”

            “It’s not like that.” Jaejoong said. It was surprising how soothing his voice was now compared to when he spoke gruffly at school on nearly every single occasion. “Minni is a tough nut. It was hard to win her heart.”

            “I am not a tough nut.” I retorted. Somehow I felt offended by his comment.

            Jaejoong saw that he had got me and smirked. “Perhaps not. You were probably oblivious of the fact that you were in love with me.”

            “How did you know that you liked Minni?” Il Shik asked Jaejoong curiously.

            “It’s hard not to.” Jaejoong replied. “She’s perfect in every way… oh wait, maybe except for the fact that she’s such a bad kisser.”

            Il Shik’s laughter reverberated around his boat. I, on the other hand was mortified, so mortified that I didn’t want to sit at the table anymore. “Excuse me.” I said and stood up. “I’m feeling a bit sea sick, I’ll just go to the deck to get some air.” I headed upstairs to the roof of the boat and was mesmerised by the full moon. Not only was it full, it was large as well and it illuminated brighter than any of the stars in the background.

            “He didn’t have to tell him that.” I muttered feeling my body heat up with embarrassment.

            “Minni.”

            The voice from behind me could be no one else’s. I turned around to see Jaejoong eyeing me glumly. His skin was pale with an unearthly blue tinge. His messy hair seemed to be the deepest of navy. And his grim eyes reflected the moonshine. Everything left me except for a sense of concern for him. I took a step towards him. “What’s wrong Jaejoong?”

            He took one step towards me as well and then embraced me tightly. There was a feeling of never letting go. “What’s wrong Jaejoong?” I asked again.

            “I’m starting to get attached to you.” He said. “But my father wants me to transfer schools. I’ll be leaving for Seoul soon.”

            I tried to retreat to see his face. I couldn’t whether he was lying or not. He clung onto me in such a way that I couldn’t see his expression. The only hint was in his voice. “When are you leaving?” I asked.

            He in a breath and exhaled slowly. “Tomorrow.”

            I forgot to breath for a second. It was so sudden. Was this why he suddenly asked me on a date? Why he was cooking me dinner. Why he went overboard with teasing me. This time I tried hard to pull away from him. He seemed to have lost all of his energy released me. He still didn’t look at me but the miserable look on his face meant that everything he was saying was the truth. “Why did you only tell me this now?”

            “It was sudden for me too.” He said. There was no spirit in his voice. The sadness in his actions was making my heart ache. Was there anyway that I could lighten up at the very least, his eyes? Was there anything that he wanted that I could give him just to bring him back to life? There was one thing.

            I closed the gap between us by wrapping my arms around his neck. “Jaejoong.” I spoke softly. He flinched at the sound of my voice but still didn’t make eye contact. “Look at me.” I instructed. I caught his attention at last and swiftly, as if I was him, I elevated myself up on my toes, twisted my head a little to avoid our noses colliding and planted my lips on his.