This feeling that I was feeling. It was warm. It was bright. No darkness could ruin this moment. Nothing.      
                  Minni retreated. Her lips left mine. She looked at me with pity. "Don't look so sad." She smiled. "Don't tell me you're going to miss me." She teased.
                  Where did she learn to do all that?

                  Okay, maybe she learnt that from me but there was more to that. The way she looked at me was hard to watch. She really didn't want me to be so saddened by my departure. I forced a smile on my face. "Who says I was sad to be leaving you?" I asked. "I'm not sad."
                  "Jaejoong." Minni frowned. "You're not going to be leaving me. We can still call each other. If you ever feel like you miss this place, you can call me or Yunho or Hana. It'll be alright."
                  She was serious. I laughed. "I'll call Hana first."
                  "Suit yourself." She said. "We were never in love anyway."
                  I felt like the wind was slapping me. She wasn't trying to, but her words hurt. "That's true." I muttered.
                  She found a mat, brushed it out and sat on it. "Jaejoong, come sit with me."
                  I took a place next to her and looked up at the moon. Its light was really bright, how did I not notice it earlier? Maybe I was too preoccupied with the thought of letting her know. I was sad to leave her and I thought she was sad as well that I was leaving but she took the matter quite lightly.
                  I felt a weight on my shoulder and looked at it. Minni laid her head there. Her eyes were closed as if she was sleeping and a part of her hair fell over her face. I lifted my hand ready to brush it away from her face.
                  "You're not leaving me." She said suddenly and I hastily put my hand down. "As long as you remember me, you're not leaving me."

                  I was very tempted to look at her sleeping face from the frontal view. I edged in a bit closer and tilted my head a little. She quickly looked up at me. The moonlight reflected in her eyes as she smiled softly at me. I had to admit that she was beautiful. I could tell why Yunho was so fond of her. I could tell why I wanted to kiss her so badly. Realising what I was thinking, I brushed the thought aside.

                  “Jaejoong, what do you want to do for the rest of the night?” She asked.

                  I felt my playful side kicking in again. “What do I want to do?” I gave her a mischievous look.

                  Minni nudged me a little. “No I mean it. What is it that you really want to do tonight?” Minni gave me a serious face. “I want an honest response.”

                  She was bright. She lit up the night. She was brighter than the stars behind her. “Can we…” I gave into her. I didn’t want to be that kind of guy in front of her. I found out that now I wanted to be someone she would remember. “Can we lie here for a little bit and stargaze?”

                  Satisfied with my answer, she lied down and looked up at the twinkling night. I followed suite but lying there, I stared at her. I didn’t want to look away. Who knows when I will see her face again?

                                    Jaejoong walked with me to my front door. “Any last farewells?” He asked.

                  I smiled at him although my heart felt heavy. “It’s been lovely being with you Jaejoong. I just hope you would show this side of you that you showed me to everyone else.”

                  “Can I ask a favour from you as well?” He asked. I looked at him curiously then I nodded slowly. Jaejoong continued. “I won’t ask for my kisses anymore. In exchange for that, I want you to stand up for yourself a little more. I mean, I know it’s good to be good to people but it’s not right to let them trample on themselves.”

                  Before Jaejoong could continue, his phone rang. He checked his contacts and smiled a little. “It’s time for me to go Minni.” He squeezed my shoulder a little. “Goodbye sweet angelic Minni.”

                  “Goodbye and goodnight.” I said.

                  With one arm, Jaejoong wrapped it around me over my shoulders then he pulled back and walked into the silence. The only thing I could see was his snowman phone charm twinkling in the night.  

                  “My hero.” I couldn’t help but mutter into the night.

                  I entered the house, locked the door and exhaled a large amount of breath. I had kissed him. My heart raced at the thought. He’s gone. My heart raced at that thought too. I think I was going to miss him. It was ever so slightly but there was a sickly feeling in my stomach. I missed him already.

                  “Minni, is that you?” It was Hana.

                  “Yes.” I replied. I just noticed how croaky my voice was. “I’m home now.”

                  I heard the flick of a switch and the light was on.

                  “Minni.” It was ever so slightly but I could hear it. There was a slight gasp when Hana called me. She took a step forward and placed a hand on my cheek. At that moment, I felt a sudden chill. My cheeks were wet. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

                  I laughed it off. “It was really cold and windy outside.” I explained. “So when I entered this warm home, I guess the water from my eyes just escaped.”

                  Hana held my shoulders and kept at the spot, demanding an honest explanation. “Did something happen? What did Jaejoong do?”

                  I clenched my teeth together. “It really was nothing.”

                  Hana sighed. She didn’t believe me. But she let me go. “I’ll leave you to rest.” She left for the kitchen and I stood there for a moment, alone.

                                    “Jungwoo, where are you going?!” I shouted from one end of the hospital ward. Jungwoo wasn’t himself today. Being the polite one, he would rush here now and tell me to keep quiet. Instead he turned the corner and darted out of site. Feeling a little frustrated, I chased after him.

                  I heard a little crying and followed it. Outside an open window within the wall of the hospital and a shrub was Jungwoo. He was crouched low and holding back his tears.

                  I immediately felt sad. “What’s wrong Jungwoo?” I asked as carefully as possible. He remained silent but I kept pressing him to answer. “Jungwoo?”

                  Jungwoo looked up with bloodshot eyes. I held my breath at the site. My eyes started to well up, sharing his pain. “My father passed away a few days ago.” He confessed.  

                  My reaction was instant. First, my face pruned up and then I was wailing like a newborn baby. I didn’t know when all these emotions hit me. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye!” I sulked. “And I wanted him to come to our wedding as well.” I brushed the uncontrolled tears away and looked at Jungwoo who was no longer crying. He looked up at me, astonished. And then he laughed a little. “Jungwoo!” I started to feel embarrassed but I was still crying. “This is no time to be laughing. Stop laughing right now.”

                  Jungwoo rose up and hugged me. “It’s okay Minji. You can keep crying.” He patted my shoulder. I kept crying. “I was crying for the past three days as well.” Jungwoo sighed. “But today I feel really sad.”

                  I sniffled disgustingly. “Why?” I asked whilst still trying to hold in my wails.

                  “I have to leave you.”

                  “What?” My desire to cry was greater than before.

                  Jungwoo looked at me sadly. “I am going to study overseas. I got adopted just yesterday.”

                  My eyes blurred because I couldn’t contain the tears. “When are you leaving?”

                  “Tonight.”

                  I shock ran through my body. “Tonight?”

                  “I’ll come back.” He reassured me.

                  “Can you not go?” I pleaded, my wails made the words almost indistinguishable.

                  “I have to leave now.”

                  I shook my head when he released me. “But what about Haeyoung? You haven’t said goodbye to him yet.”

                  “I already did.” Jungwoo said.

                  “But…” I was running out of excuses.

                  “Don’t worry.” Jungwoo my head like a little kid. “If you can wait for me, I’ll come back to marry you.” He gave me one small hug. “Please don’t cry.”

                  I rendered in everything he said and took a deep breath in. I nodded silently.

                  “For now, it’s goodbye.” Jungwoo attempted a smile.

                  I looked up at him without a single wail. “Goodbye Jungwoo.”

                  Jungwoo took several steps back to release me. However, I was leaning outside the window from inside and I lost balance. He hastily came to my rescue. He pulled me upright again. All I did was watch his face, his beautiful face that would not be seeing for a long time.

                  I couldn’t take it anymore at that point. I broke free from him and ran off. I ran to the closest person I could reach in the hospital. I slammed the door open. The frail little boy was at the balcony door. Before he could turn around, I wrapped around him tightly, hoping that he would not escape from me like Jungwoo. “Haeyoung.” I cried at the top of my lungs. “Jungwoo left us. I feel so sad. What if he doesn’t come back to marry me?” I shut my eyes tightly together and let my tears fall. “What do we do Haeyoung?”

                  After some time, reality hit me. Haeyoung still hated me and wanted me to die. Feeling a little frightened, I slowly looked up to examine his expression. All I saw were tears on his pale cheeks.

                                    It was 7.30 am. I walked into the empty classroom extremely early that Monday morning. Reliving the dream from last night was heart wrenching. That was the first time I had lost someone I loved. It wasn’t as painful as watching my parents get murdered but it did have an immense impact on me.

                  Distractions, I needed distractions. I hastily dropped my bag and clumsily retrieved my textbook. I hurriedly searched for the pages I needed to read for the upcoming lesson. A searing pain hit me as the pages cut my finger.

                  I took the finger with my available hand and watched the blood ooze out. Then I bandaged it with a tissue from my bag and focused on the page at hand.

                  “Minni.” I was interrupted an hour later. “You left so early this morning.” Junsu whined as he walked up to me. “Why? Did you have a bad dream again?” Hana followed suite and stood next to him in silence. “But you haven’t been having nightmares lately.” Junsu questioned himself.

                  I forced a smile. “No. I have tests today. I just thought that I would come to school early to study a bit.”

                  “Oh okay.” Junsu was obliviously gullible.

                  “Keep at it Minni.” Hana grunted. “One day you will wear your body out.”

                  I beamed at Hana’s indirectness. “I’ll make sure to get adequate sleep tonight.”

                  Hana pretended to ignore me. “I’m going to meet up with Jaemi now. She should be at school by now.”

                  “And I will stay with Minni until Yunho comes.” Junsu said.

                  Hana lifted an eyebrow. “You mean Jaejoong?”

                  “No. Jaejoong always comes late so I really mean Yunho.” Junsu reasoned. Hana just nodded then left.

                  I smiled at my little brother and his hair. I didn’t want to tell him that Jaejoong was never coming to this school ever. I’ll explain to them later. I felt a hair strand interlock with my paper cut and retrieved my hand wincing a little.

                  “Minni, are you alright?” Junsu asked.

                  “Yeah, I just got a little paper cut.” I replied.

                  I heard footsteps approach us and saw Yunho walking into the room. “Morning.” He greeted us. “Is something the matter?”

                  “Minni cut herself a little bit.” Junsu told him.

                  Concerned, Yunho crouched before me and examined my finger. “It looks minor. I have a bandage in my bag. I’ll put it on for you.”

                  “Thank you.” I felt a warmth envelope me. Even if Jaejoong left me, even if Jungwoo left me, I still had Hana, Junsu, Yunho and the others who were still here for me. The emptiness within me was melting away, slowly. “Umm…” I hesitated a little. It was really hard for me to console with my friends and families because I hadn’t done it in a while. “I want to tell you all something about Jaejoong. Can you tell the others who know the truth to gather at lunchtime.”

                  Yunho and Junsu looked surprised for a second and then they nodded their heads simultaneously.

                                    “He what?” Kimmi was flabbergasted.

                  “I think you’re forgetting something here.” Yoochun began.

                  “He just left you like that? What a despicable human being.” Kimmi cursed.

                  Hana shot up from her seat. “He has a good reason for leaving with such short notice.” She stammered anxiously.

                  “Jaejoong never loved Minni remember?” Changmin pointed out. “They were in a fake relationship.

                  “Exactly what I was going to say.” Yoochun added.

                  Yunho nodded. “Minni let Jaejoong do whatever what he wanted because he saved her once.”

                  “Are you sure he doesn’t like Minni?” Hana retorted. “The reason they got together was because he saved her. Why did he save Minni?”

                  “Hana, Jaejoong was only messing with Minni. Everybody knows that.” Kimmi calmly stated trying not to cause trouble.

                  “When will you wake up from your lovey dovey dream?” Changmin asked her irritably. 

                  Hana glared at him. “When will you open your eyes?!” She then strutted off.

                  “Hana.” I followed her. “I need to tell you something.”

                  “What?” We were quite far from the crowd.

                  “Jaejoong said to keep everything quiet for now. Don’t say anything until they ask.” I tried to make it snappy. “And if they ask, just say that he moved and we’re still together.”

                  Hana reluctantly nodded and continued walking off. I returned to the group and explained to them what I had just advised Hana.

                  “So you two are still an item.” Junsu clarified.

                  I nodded. There was a dead silence for a while.

                  Yunho broke it eventually. “Right, so is there anything else you need to tell us?” He asked.

                  “I think that’s it.” I thought out loud. “At least for now.”

                  “Can I ask you something?” Junsu said quietly as everyone was walking off.

                  “Yes?” I smiled sincerely at him.

                  Junsu scrutinised me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

                  My smile faltered a little. I didn’t expect him to ask me that. “Of course.” I answered.

                  Junsu didn’t look convinced but couldn’t say anymore.

                  “Minni, I’ll walk you to class.” Yunho approached me from behind.

                  “We’ll all walk you to class, Minni.” Kimmi said. Yoochun and Changmin agreed as well. “We’ll show that stinking boyfriend of yours that we’re ten times better than him.”

                  I laughed. “How dare he leave me here!” I joked. My heart lightened. It felt like I, at last was speaking the truth.

                                    Monday school day ended. That is, with me completing progress tests easily and then meeting my friends before leaving for home. The only difference was that there was no more troublemaker in the class to disturb the peace. It felt strangely out of place with Jaejoong’s absence. That was how I felt. I knew that the other students didn’t feel that way. They did not know that Jaejoong was gone for good, not yet. I stared at my locker for a while. The smell of roses still lingered within it.

                  Kimmi was normally the first to arrive at my locker. The corridors were already empty so I decided to walk to her locker instead. I almost turned the corner but I abruptly stopped when I overheard a serious conversation.

                  “Kimmi.” It was Yoochun. “I have something important to tell you.”

                  “What is it?” Kimmi sounded impatient.

                  “I am going to move to live with my uncle in the city soon. My mother really wants me to get into the university there.” Yoochun muttered sadly.

                  “You’re leaving me?” Kimmi asked. There was a hint of sadness in her voice.

                  I heard a sigh. “Yeah, I’m heading to his place this weekend.”

                  “But this is your last year. Why are you leaving midway through the year?” She asked anxiously.

                  “It’s okay, you wanted to go to the same university as well right?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “We’ll see each other there. It won’t be long before we see each other again.”

                  I peeked a little and saw Kimmi looking at the ground. She clenched Yoochun’s sleeve loosely. “Can’t you stay until the end of the year? We can move to the city together.”

                  Yoochun was suspiciously suppressing his laughter. “I will.”

                  Kimmi’s head swiftly tilted up. “What? I thought you were leaving this weekend?”

                  “I’m going over to my uncle’s place this weekend. We’re moving my stuff there little by little.” Yoochun elaborated. From his expression, I could tell that he was misleading Kimmi from the start. “I’m still going to attend this school.”

                  Kimmi suddenly realised that she was being teased and slammed Yoochun on the arm. “Jerk.” She stammered angrily. She bit her lip to stop it trembling.

                  Yoochun wrapped his arms around her and placed a hand on her head, hiding it from everyone’s view. It was as if he knew that Kimmi was extremely embarrassed. “It was just a joke, Kimmi.” His face lit up like sunshine.

                  I smiled too and decided to step back and act as if I didn’t see them earlier. “Kimmi.” I chanted and turned the corner to meet the pair. As suspected, they were now out of each other’s arms. “Oh, hi Yoochun!” I feigned surprise. “Are you guys ready?”

                  Kimmi nodded nervously while Yoochun replied happily. “Yes. Let’s go.”

                  We walked to the front gate and met up with Junsu, Changmin, Hana, Jaemi and Yunho. Jaemi gave me a gloated look then bid her friend goodbye and left.

                  Hana coughed awkwardly. “Changmin is walking home with us today because we have an assignment to work on.”

                  Kimmi was horrified but didn’t say anything.

                  Yoochun’s smile never faded. “Have fun.”

                  “We can play some soccer together as well.” Junsu added excitedly.

                  Yunho laughed. “That’s sounds fun. Can I join in as well?”

                  “Of course. The more the merrier.” Junsu’s excitation only grew.

                  Kimmi turned sour for a moment but then turned to me and smiled. “Goodbye Minni.” She hugged me. “Goodbye everyone.” Yoochun gave a single wave and followed her.

                  Whilst walking home, I began to notice that Yunho and Changmin were trying hard to keep a steady conversation with me. I looked behind me and saw my siblings wearing two different expressions. Junsu wore a cunning grin as if he was enjoying the moment and Hana had an agitated frown on her face.

                  When we reached our home, Junsu and Hana accompanied the boys in the sitting room. I promised to make some snacks for them and join them for afternoon tea. The weather was still quite chilly so I opted out to make some warm pumpkin soup. I made a pot of hot green tea. After tea I will leave some in the fridge to cool down. That was suitable for the boys who were playing soccer and needed a drink.

                  “So have you guys considered where you’re heading next year after you graduate?” Junsu asked. “I’m guessing you’re both going for a medical course, am I right?”

                  I nodded.

                  Yunho agreed. “The best one that I know of is in the city. I am looking to go there. What about you Minni?”

                  “Same.” I smiled. Jaejoong was studying in the city at the moment. I wondered where he would do future studies. Would he considering doing future studies?

                  “Kimmi and Yoochun are thinking of going to the same area.” Changmin added. “Kimmi wants to be an accountant and Yoochun told me he was thinking of teaching and management.”

                  “Hana, what do you want to study in the future?” I asked.

                  “Not too sure.”

                  “I’m aiming for psychiatry.”Changmin expressed. “But I might just end up as a psychologist if I am not smart enough.”

                  “I guess it suits you.” I laughed a little. “Junsu?”

                  “Hmm.” Junsu contemplated. “An international soccer player?”

                  We all laughed at his response even though we didn’t know whether he was serious or not.

                  After everyone had a generous amount to eat, I cleared the table while everyone went to do their activities. I went to shower before commencing with the dishes.

                                    “I was just wondering, why can’t I find a single picture of Minni?” Changmin asked Hana.

                  “She didn’t really like taking photos.” Hana fibbed. “So most of her photos are baby photos. But she really looks like me when we were little.”

                  “Any family portraits?”

                  Hana shook her head and decided to change the subject “You’re trying to hit on my sister now, aren’t you? Now that Jaejoong is out of the picture.” Changmin and her were up in the attic rummaging through old family photos.

                  Changmin didn’t lie. “Is it so obvious? I guess Yunho is doing that same.”

                  Hana shook her head worriedly. “You have to be aware of the consequences. Most of the people in our school still think that they’re dating. If she magically gets intimate with someone else, don’t you think that she would get haters?”

                  Changmin looked at her in shock. “Of course. How could I no think about that? It’s so silly of me.” He grabbed Hana’s hand and she felt an electric shock pulsate through her. “Thank you so much. You have taught me how I should love her right.”

                  “It was merely something simple. How could you have not thought about it yourself?” Hana mumbled embarrassingly. She couldn’t decipher her feelings. Instead, she took her hand back and flipped the photo album to the next page.

                  “But still, it shows me that you truly do care about your sister.” Changmin commented. Hana looked up at him and flushed a little. It wasn't everyday that someone tells her that she had a heart. “What’s wrong, why are you blushing?”

                  “Nothing.” Hana stood up dropping the photo album in her lap. “I’m going to grab that box up there. There’s more photos in there.” She walked up to the box. It was a bit too high beyond her reach.

                  Changmin chuckled at her jumping efforts. “You know I’m your partner for a reason. You use your brains.” He walked up to stand behind her and grabbed the box with ease. “I’ll use my body.” Before he pulled the box out, Hana turned to look up at him. Her cheeks were redder than necessary. Her eyes looked like they were glistening in the dim light of the attic. Changmin in a breath when he saw her before him. At that moment, he could see that Hana was very beautiful. He leaned in closer and examined her face.

                  “What are you doing?” Hana asked nervously.

                  Changmin brow creased. “Are you by any chance,” He saw her body twitch a little. “Angry?”

                  “What?”

                  Changmin sighed. “I give up. I can never guess how you’re feeling.” He looked at her sheepishly. “But can you tell me honestly how you feel at the moment?”

                  “Why?” Hana asked curiously. She was starting to feel relief that he wasn’t saying anything strange.

                  “Because this expression of yours is very pretty at the moment.”

                  Hana suddenly became disturbed. “Don’t joke around with me.” She pushed him away. Forgetting that he was holding onto a box of photographs, he fell back losing balance. The photos left their box and rained down on him as he hit the ground.

                  Hana sat down beside him, feeling dreadfully concerned. She got back to her senses before she could utter nonsense. “Serves you right!”

                  “What did I do?” Changmin croaked.

                  “Hmph. You say you like my sister but you start flirting with me.” Hana said coldly.

                  Changmin felt like Hana made a point. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to mislead you. I was just being honest and intrigued.”

                  Hana took the one photograph off of his face. “I’ll forgive you this once. Just use your body and clean up this mess.”

                  Changmin sat up, groaned but didn’t complain. “Yes, partner.”

                  Hana smiled then looked at the sepia picture in her hand. There was a middle aged man and women sitting next to each other. Two girls stood behind them. One looked like her mother. But who was the other girl? She was breathtakingly beautiful, Hana had to admit.

                                    I sat at my desk and looked through my phone to see if I had received any messages today. Sadly, there was none. I looked at the snowflake phone charm and scolded Jaejoong in my head for not contacting me once.

                  My hair was still quite wet when I finished showering but I had to finish off the dishes before the mistress got home. I got a hair stick off of my desk and pulled my hair up into a bun then headed towards the kitchen. Yunho was there at the kitchen bench gulping down a large glass of iced green tea.

                  “Minni.” He stuttered when I walked in.

                  “Looks like you’re having fun.” I opened the pantry and grabbed the apron.

                  Yunho chuckled. “Junsu is one competitive fellow.”

                  I wore the apron and a pair of gloves and started on the dishes.

                  Yunho walked up next to me and placed his empty glass in the sink. “You’re wearing the hair stick I gave you.”

                  “Yeah. It’s very useful for times like these.” I said. Slowly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. “Yunho, what are you doing?”

                  “Please, let me stay like this for a while.” Yunho rested his chin on my shoulder.

                  I let him be. I trusted that he wouldn’t do anything inappropriate. He wasn’t Jaejoong. But somehow I wished he was. I continued and concentrated on the dishes.

                  “Please don’t forget that I’m still waiting for you, Minni.” I could sense the deepest pains in his words and was reminded of that night at camp when he gave me my birthday present. I had said that I would give him a chance. That time would be soon.

                  But I was so reluctant to. It was as if an icicle had pierced my heart. Despite Yunho’s warmth behind me, my body felt numb and cold. I was internally conflicted.

                  What do I do, Jaejoong?

AN:

I am very sorry for taking extremely long to update and I'm sorry but I have not edited this chapter as well. I have university and work to deal with at the moment. But as I have promised, I will finish this story. I am so grateful to have subscribers who are devoted to reading this story. 

And I will try to update more frequently than this.

Please feel free to comment on how you feel about this story. That includes the good, the bad and the ugly.

With a lot of gratitude, 

whitedreamm ^^