For the sake of the fans Niya kept her eyes on Kyuhyun for the whole time and a smile on her face. She noticed he was thiner and had dark circles around his eyes under the thick layer of make up. Was it because of her? A sting of guilt hit her heart. 

No, no way... He probably just played too much games again... or has too many schedules... Why do I care by the way? It's not like he ever cared for me!

Flashes of memories flooded her mind - how he comforted her... how he led her through the trauma... how he stood by her side... and his last words that broke all of that to pieces...

She felt her blood freeze in her veins at the reminder. A . He called her a .  He didn't even ask her what happened first. He just assumed. Son of a... she stopped herself. When did I started swearing?

When I watched you leave

my heart screamed: STAY!

Cause I'm desperate, desperate...

Desperate, desperate for you...

The chorus of their title song went on and she could see Kyuhyun was tearing up and his voice started shaking a bit. Only a profesional would notice, but it was there. 

When you faded away 

I finaly realised

I'm desperate, desperate...

Desperate, desperate for you...

The bridge was her part and while singning it she realised something

And I can't survuve a day

without knowing you are there

by my side. Oh!

I stayed too long away

and now my soul is dying slowly

dyiing slowly...

I am desperate!!!

I am desperate!!!

I am desperate without you!

She realised she was dying inside. Without him. No, she had already died. The moment she heard his rejecting words. She was a walking corpse now.

A monster.

While walking down the hallway backstage she remembered how many people tried to reach her and help her after that. She cut them off. 

All of them.

Especially him.

She refused to forgive.

She refused to heal.

She chose to raise walls around herself.

Hatred is like acid. It burns the vessel that keeps it.

What have I turned to?

For the n-th time Kyuhyun tried to aproach her.

"Please, stay away, Kyuhyun-ssi."

She walked away without seeing him colapsing to the ground in silent sobs.

Stay away. I beg you. I am not afraid you will hurt me again anymore. I am afraid I will hurt you.

Cause I have turned into a monster.

(A/N Sorry if the lyrics are too lame :) If you like them though that doesn't give you right to use them. THEY ARE MINE!!! saranghae <3)