Hey guys~ before you read this chapter, maybe you would like to reread the first few paragraphs of "Everland" as I had edited some info in it, so that my story makes more sense lol...hehehe~

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Kyungsoo gripped the handles of his bag tightly as he stepped out of his father's car. The landscape, so familiar yet so foreign, as if its been years since he has last came. He looked at the metal gate in front of him. It feels so sterile. The air around the area is so thick that Kyungsoo felt like he's drowning. Suffocating. Kyungsoo has no desires to go back to that place but he has no choice as his parents' house is too far away from SM Entertainment.

 

"Honey, you sure that you don't wanna stay with us for a few more days?" Kyungsoo's mother said as she stepped out from the car to bid goodbye to her dearest son. Kyungsoo shook his head.

 

"It's not like I could help it. I have schedules tomorrow." Kyungsoo smiled sadly. His mother looks as if she's almost in tears as she pulled him into an embrace.

 

"Just know that no matter what happens, we will be here for you. Always and forever." Kyungsoo's mother breathed heavily. Kyungsoo nodded, willing his tears away. Kyungsoo's mother lets go of the embrace and caressed Kyungsoo's cheeks.

 

"I just hope that you'd tell me what has been making you so sad.." Kyungsoo's mother sighed. Kyungsoo looked at his mother sadly. 

 

"Mom... I... I can't say... It's company's secret..."

 

He did not ever wanted to lie to his mother. In fact, all that he really wants right now, is to spill everything out to his mother at that moment. Seeing his mother's fragile frame and helplessness of not knowing what her own son is going through is really heart wrenching. But Kyungsoo couldn't. He couldn't let his family members feel more ashamed of him than he already was. He couldn't let the last of the people that he actually could hold on to and support him, dislike him just because they found out that he is gay. 

 

Gay. Hah. What a funny thing. Right now, Kyungsoo don't even know if that relationship was ever even real in the first place. He felt tears threatening as his lips trembled. Did Baekhyun cheat on him on other occasions too? Is Baekhyun even really gay for him in the first place? If he is, then why did he sleep with the female producer?

 

"Alright, I'm sure he has to go now. Come on." Kyungsoo's father called out from his place, breaking Kyungsoo from his irrational chain of thought. Kyungsoo's mother reluctantly let go of her son.

 

"Come visit us more often ne?" Kyungsoo's mother said in a soft whisper while she her son's face one last time. It saddens her at the amount of weight that her son lost.

 

"I promise I will, umma." Kyungsoo smiled as he pecked his mother on the forehead. He stood, waving as he smiled to his parents and watched as the car drove away.

 

Kyungsoo turned around and looked at the dorm door. Slowly, with heavy steps, he made his way to it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DING DONG!

 

The bell of the dorm rang loudly as Chanyeol was eating some icecream while watching the television. Chanyeol frowned, wondering who could be ringing the bell so late at night. 

 

"Yeol, could you please get the door?" Junmyeon asked, not looking up from the papers that he is reading. Chanyeol pouted.

 

"Yah grandpa, why can't you get the door?"

 

"Because I'm your leader and I'm ordering you to do so."

 

"Aish." Chanyeol set his tub of icecream down on the coffee table before standing up and making his way to the door, "coming~!" 

 

Chanyeol walked to the door, then unlocking it, he yank the door wide open.

 

"Can I help yo-" warm air washed into the dorm as Chanyeol looked at the person in front of him.

 

"Soo.." Chanyeol started. Kyungsoo looked up at Chanyeol and smiled.

 

"Channie hyung."

 

"Come on in!" Chanyeol said as he pulled Kyungsoo in. Kyungsoo stepped into the dorm room. It was familiar, yet strange. He really doesn't want to be back here just yet. Kyungsoo looked around, nothing much has changed since he fled the dorm four days ago.

 

"Who is that at the door?" Junmyeon's voice sounded out.

 

"It's Soo!" Chanyeol excitedly replied.

 

"What?"

 

"Soo is back?"

 

"Omo!" Commotions could be heard as footsteps drew near. Kyungsoo saw the smiling face of the leader first. Junmyeon pulled Kyungsoo into a deep embrace, squishing him so hard that Kyungsoo let his bag fall to the ground.

 

"Oh wifey! I thought that you were not planning on coming back anymore!" Junmyeon said as he continued squishing him. Luhan chuckled as he pulled Junmyeon away.

 

"Ya leader, you're going to cut off his oxygen supply if you continue squishing him." Luhan scolded. Sehun squeezed past Luhan and pinched both sides of Kyungsoo's cheeks.

 

"Yah hyung, have you not been eating? You've grown skinnier!" Sehun said monotonously causing Kyungsoo to chuckle lightly.

 

"Yah, stop hurting hyung's pretty face you stupid maknae!" Jongin said while slapping Sehun's hands away causing him to scowl.

 

"Soo, welcome home," Kris said with a sincere voice as he pats Kyungsoo on the head. The members eyed Kyungsoo awkwardly after everyone finished greeting him. Kyungsoo raised his brows.

 

"What?" Kyungsoo said, amused.

 

"Are you... Feeling better now?" Chanyeol asked, slowly, pushing the subject a little. Kyungsoo knew what Chanyeol meant, but he is currently not in the mood for that.

 

"I'm okay! All fine now! I just needed a breather, that's all!" Kyungsoo smiled, causing the others to frown. The others knew that there is no way for Kyungsoo to be all fine, but none of them want to broach the subject directly.

 

Then, hurried footsteps could be heard. Before a raspy voice spoke.

 

"Soo... Kyungie..." 

 

All heads snapped towards the source of the voice. There stood Baekhyun. He had changed his clothes since that night, and is in a fresh T-shirt and shorts now. But, he has not eaten or drank anything for days. His face, unshaven. His hair, messy. Lips, dry and cracked. Face, sullen and sunken. His eyes, red and bloodshot. If this had been a scene in a movie, it would have been a scene where the red eyed monster attack the innocent children. In other words, Baekhyun looked like the shell of a man that he was before.

 

Baekhyun looked like . Except for the way his eyes brightened up when Kyungsoo looked at him. They made eye contact.

 

Kyungsoo shifted uncomfortably.

 

"I'll return to my room for some rest." Kyungsoo said, smiling to everyone except for Baekhyun.

 

"I'll get your bag for you." Luhan piped up. Kyungsoo pushed pass Baekhyun as if he wasn't there at all as he made his way to his shared room with Sehun and Luhan. 

 

That little touch meant something.

 

No. 

 

That brushing of shoulders meant everything.

 

The tears that Kyungsoo held in came gushing up to the surface as he clicked the room door shut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun was lying on his bed, getting himself lost in time, ignoring everything around him. He was thinking. Why was he so stupid? Why did he let fame blind him? Why... Why? 

 

He got lost in himself. He looked down. Jongin had managed to get him to change into another set of clean clothes and had actually made him bathe. Jongin is the only one left in the dorm that is willing to communicate with him. Although the hatred of the younger towards him is noticeable, but Jongin's compassionate side took over him. Jongin has always been protective of Kyungsoo since their trainee days. It is inevitable for Jongin to hate Baekhyun for hurting Kyungsoo's feelings.

 

Baekhyun lay on his bed, making up scenarios on how to make Kyungsoo forgive him, the possible words that they will say to each other, and on how to make their love beautiful once more. 

 

Baekhyun really loves Kyungsoo. He would give everything to get it back, including giving up the OST. But deep inside, he already knew that there is nothing that he could do to gain everything he once had back.

 

Then, he heard commotions outside the room. He doesn't care. It's not like s care about him too. He just continue laying on his bed, wallowing in self pity. Baekhyun tried to block out the sound from outside, but they are all just too loud.

 

"Are you... Feeling better now?" 

 

"I'm okay! All fine now! I just needed a breather, that's all!"

 

Baekhyun froze. Is that Kyungsoo? Baekhyun hurriedly scrambled to his feet, and yanked the door open. He walked in hurried footsteps.

 

 As he reaches the living room, all the air left his lungs.

 

Standing in front of him, stood a Kyungsoo that is so thin and fragile looking. 

 

Baekhyun wants to go and caress the small frame in front of him. 

 

He wants to make him feel loved and leave him blushing .

 

He wants to kiss those plush plump lips till they were red and swollen.

 

"Soo... Kyungie..." 

 

Baekhyun was shocked at how raspy his voice sounded. He had not spoke for days, and he is surprised that his vocals still worked. 

 

At his voice, everyone turned and looked at him. He made eye contact with Kyungsoo. All the words that he wanted to say we're all now tossed to the western skies. Vocabulary left Baekhyun. Time seems to stand still at that moment. Kyungsoo was the first to broke the gaze.

 

"I'll return to my room for some rest." Baekhyun heard Kyungsoo say. Then, he felt a light brush of Kyungsoo's shoulder against his as Kyungsoo glided past him as if he isn't there. 

 

He caught a whiff of Kyungsoo's sweet vanilla scent before realizing that Kyungsoo is gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's been one week since he had returned to the dorm.

 

Kyungsoo was folding his clothes in his room, enjoying the feeling of doing nothing. Their repackage album was released five days ago. In front of the cameras, Kyungsoo had tried his best not to let his feelings show, but when he is back in the dorm, he went back to ignoring Baekhyun.

 

They have a free day that day, considering that they are in the midst of their promotions. Most of the members decided to go shopping and stuff. But Kyungsoo? He has nothing on that day. He is just going to spend the rest of his day laying around and wallowing in self pity. 

 

Just as he finish folding the last of his laundry, his shared room door clicked open.

 

Chanyeol walked into the room and smiled at Kyungsoo.

 

"Hey Soo!"

 

"Hey Channie hyung~" Kyungsoo smiled. Chanyeol averted his gaze. As a friend, it hurts seeing his favourite dongsaeng biting out a smile as he doesn't want people to know how hurt and damage he still is.

 

"Yeollie? What's wrong?" Kyungsoo asked. Chanyeol looked at Kyungsoo for a second before remembering the purpose of him coming to Kyungsoo. 

 

Chanyeol knew beforehand that Kyungsoo is going to spend the rest of his day wasting away. And as Kyungsoo's best friend, there is no way that he is gonna let his favourite dongsaeng waste away like that. Thus, he made it his mission to get Kyungsoo out for some fresh air today.

 

"Kyungie, I was just thinking if you have any thing on today." Chanyeol said. Kyungsoo looked at him vacantly.

 

"I...I was planning on staying home today, you know, clean the dorm and stuff." Kyungsoo said, looking down. 

 

Kyungsoo is not in the mood for going out. He just want to spend sometime alone, so that no one can see that he is hurt. He puts on a brave front in front of everyone else, but truth to be told, he has been crying himself to sleep every night. On some nights, he even bit his lips so hard that it bled just so as to minimize the sound of him crying as he doesn't want Luhan or Sehun to know that he is crying. He doesn't want other's sympathy. He doesn't want to burden others with his pain. So all he does is smile in front of them.

 

"Come on Soo! You need a breather, and don't you find the dorm suffocating?"

 

"I...I..."

 

"Soo please~ I don't want to go out alone today~" Chanyeol pouted.

 

"..."

 

"Kyung?"

 

"I...I guess it's okay to go out then.." Kyungsoo said in a small voice. He know that Chanyeol is not going to stop until he agrees.

 

"Yippie! Hurry get changed, we are going out in five!" Chanyeol said happily as he bounded out of the room like a little puppy. Kyungsoo just shook his head.

 

Kyungsoo stood in front of the mirror, taking out clothes to change, and looked at his scrawny body. He really looks skinny and lethargic. 

 

His hair, shaven at the sides because he had used a scissors to cut his hair into a mess. He looked into the mirror. 

 

And the person that stared back, just isn't him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo spent the whole day shopping for things that Chanyeol wants, while Kyungsoo just followed him absent-mindedly. Kyungsoo couldn't focus on the things in front of him, as everything around him just reminds him of Baekhyun.

 

"Soo! I'm hungry~ should we get some food?" Chanyeol asked, snapping Kyungsoo out of his trance.

 

"Sure Yeollie hyung~" Kyungsoo said, smiling.

 

The pair walked in comforting, yet semi-awkward silence. Kyungsoo looked up to the evening sky, and started humming a tune. Chanyeol looked at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo seems happy, but Chanyeol noticed that the song that Kyungsoo is humming is not a happy song at all. Then, Kyungsoo started singing.

 

"I have a habit which is I cannot look up to see the evening sky any day.

I hate the feeling as if the whole world is gonna leave me.

 

That sun falling faraway will come here tomorrow.

It seems that it is not the sunshine that brightened me"

 

Chanyeol frowned, Kyungsoo is singing "Evening Sky" by Ailee. Kyungsoo seems oblivious to his surroundings as he continued his soft singing.

 

"Love comes again though you left me.

Even if I had a clamorous parting.

You weigh on my mind over and over like this.

 

I laugh for loving something occasionally.

I feel the happiness more occasionally.

But you are still deep in me."

 

By now, Chanyeol can see that slight tears are forming at the corner of Kyungsoo's eyes. But Kyungsoo just looked up at the sky, and continued singing, ignoring the other's gaze.

 

"Whenever I give someone my heart I have a habit of saving half of it.

I hate the foreboding that if I give all of it he would just leave me.

 

I cannot give this half to anyone

But I don’t want me broken half way to show up-"

 

"Soo stop it!" Chanyeol can't take it any more. Kyungsoo was cut off and he ceased singing almost immediately. A tear slipped from Kyungsoo's left eye as he wiped it away clumsily.

 

"Sorry Channie, I was too engrossed by the beauty of tonight's evening sky hehe~ forgive me okay?" Kyungsoo forced a smile. Chanyeol just sighed.

 

"Lets just look for the food."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few minutes later, the both of them found themselves inside of Paris Baguette. 

 

Chanyeol knew how much this place meant to Kyungsoo as Paris Baguette was the favourite hang out spot for Kyungsoo and Baekhyun before debut. Chanyeol wasn't sure of the choice of cafe, but it was Kyungsoo that pulled him towards it when they spotted this cafe.

 

"Kyungie, we can always eat at other place-"

 

"No hyung, I want to have cake here."

 

"But-"

 

"Stop worrying, I'm perfectly fine, and I love the cakes here."

 

"If you say so..." Chanyeol said unsurely. 

 

Kyungsoo stood up from the chair and went to order his own cake as the waiter had serve Chanyeol his meal. Chanyeol watches Kyungsoo's back awkwardly as Kyungsoo pointed excitedly to a certain cake to the waitress. Chanyeol just shrugged and went back to eating his food.

 

A few seconds later, Kyungsoo returned.

 

Chanyeol's eyes widened marginally as Kyungsoo set a 28 inch Chocolate Freshcream Cake in front of him.

 

"Soo..."

 

"Yes Channie? Do you want some?" Kyungsoo smiled.

 

"I....er..."

 

"What is it?"

 

"I thought you didn't like chocolate cakes...?"

 

"Well,  I got sick of the Lemon Fruit Cake."

 

"But...isn't that a bit too much?"

 

"What's too much? You guys are the one complaining that I have became skinnier, so now it's wrong to eat more?" Kyungsoo scoffed. Chanyeol just kept quiet. 

 

Kyungsoo took out his fork and plunged it into the cake, and brought a large piece to his mouth. Kyungsoo opened his mouth as wide as possible as he devoured the cake. Chocolates cream smeared Kyungsoo's hallowed cheeks as he closed his eyes and savor the taste.

 

"Mmhm this is so good!" Kyungsoo squealed. 

 

His actions are really scaring the out of Chanyeol. Chanyeol watches as Kyungsoo ate another big mouthful.

 

Kyungsoo stuffed himself with the cake. 

 

With each spoonful of Baekhyun's favourite cake, tears built up in his eyes.

 

"This is really delicious.." Kyungsoo cried as he ate the cake. The whole cafe's attention is on the both of them. Chanyeol Kyungsoo's hair in attempt to calm him down.

 

"Shhh.. Soo, people are looking."

 

"So what? I just want to enjoy my cake, is that a problem?" Kyungsoo said with his face smeared with cake and tears.

 

"Soo... Shall we go?"

 

"I want to finish the cake."

 

"Soo, stop it."

 

"Shut up Chanyeol." 

 

Chanyeol just sat there as he watches Kyungsoo shove the cake down his throat again and again. Soon, Kyungsoo finished the cake. He  was already a crying mess by then.

 

"Soo...lets go.."

 

"O-okay.." Kyungsoo hiccuped. 

 

The both of them stood up and left the cafe. 

 

Outside, warm summer air hit Kyungsoo in the face as he tried to wipe his face clumsily with the tissue Chanyeol gave him.

 

"I'm sorry you have to witness me being like this." Kyungsoo laughed. Chanyeol looked at him worriedly.

 

"It's okay Soo."

 

"It's just that, there is no other for me to release." Kyungsoo said as tears threatened once more.

 

"I don't want others to see me hurting. I don't want others to feel that I am weak. I don't want to be a burden for others. I don't want others to see me the way I am right now." Tears slipped down Kyungsoo's cheeks.

 

"I don't want to feel anything anymore. It's like part of me had died. Yet I still want him back." Kyungsoo cried, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

 

"I feel that I am so stupid. I know he cheated on me, but I love him... I love him so so much." Kyungsoo cried. Chanyeol pulled the younger into an embrace.

 

"Shush Kyungie, it's going to be okay." Chanyeol said calmly as he Kyungsoo's hair.

 

"No it's not going to be okay. It hurts. It ing hurts. And I want it to stop. I want everything to stop! It hurts so much." Kyungsoo cried into the older's shirt. Chanyeol felt his heart ache as his favourite dongsaeng cries.

 

"Make me forget." Kyungsoo said. Chanyeol looked at him.

 

"What?" Chanyeol asked, confused.

 

"Make me forget about him." Kyungsoo looked up at Chanyeol. Chanyeol looked back at Kyungsoo. 

 

Then, Kyungsoo did the unexpected. He leaned up and captured Chanyeol's lips. Chanyeol pulled back immediately.

 

"What the hell Kyung!" Chanyeol shouted, his eyes turned into the size of the moon. Kyungsoo looked down at his feet.

 

"I-I'm sorry..I didn't know what came over me."

 

"It's okay Soo..." Chanyeol said, his head, "I understand, but you have to know that I like girls."

 

"I'm sorry..."

 

"It's okay."

 

"No is not. Nothing is okay."

 

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So...here's a little update before my finals. Sorry for letting you guys wait so long for this ish chapter, school has been really crazy. I'm a bad author :( I will update more after my exams! And also, I'm rather sad to announce that this fic is coming to an end soon :( but do not worry! I have a new BaekSoo fic coming up soon! I will start that fic on the day I end this fic, so...till then~ sorry for being a bad author, and thank you all readers and subscribers for reading and supporting me in this fic, I really appreciate all of your comments and everything >_< sorry for my grammatical/vocabulary errors >_< see you guys soon~ Peace out! (^~^)v