It takes a few days to pass before the topic about Mr. Right ever comes back into the picture of Kris' and Chanyeol's conversations. Chanyeol initiates it unexpectedly, catching Kris off guard when they're going for a break again. To be quite honest, Jongdae and Minseok has been bugging Chanyeol about the matter with no mercy for the past few days and Chanyeol just thinks he needs to get the feeling out of his chest to get everything over and done with. Right about now's perfect timing as they're about to get lunch and without Minseok and Jongdae this time around. 

 

It takes a few minutes of settling down at the nearest cafe, ordering cups of tea and sandwiches before Chanyeol initiates conversation.

 

"Are you also wondering like Minseok and Jongdae are?" 

 

"No, not really," Kris says while simultaneously munching on chicken pesto-flavored sandwich, putting it away only to look straight at Chanyeol. "It's just... maybe there are things we really never expect to happen."

 

"But you don't understand," Chanyeol panics. "It's complicated!"

 

"Okay, calm down," Kris puts a hand over Chanyeol's shoulder. "Anyway, who was that guy you were talking about? Is it that daycare volunteer? Baek, Baeksoo, what's his name again?"

 

Without knowing it, Chanyeol blushes and doesn't say anything. He shrinks himself in his seat and cowers because how embarrassing could this get. He hadn't even expected for Kris to have caught up so fast. 

 

"I'm just guessing," Kris says. "I mean besides the two idiots back at the office you talk to and me. Wait, it couldn't be me right?" Kris looks at Chanyeol with dilated questioning eyes. 

 

"No, of course not!" Chanyeol almost shouts, almost stands from his seat in defense, but he doesn't because it would look even more defensive and maybe Kris would think there's some truth to it when there's clearly not. "I like you as my senior, hyung. You understand me unlike the two idiots back at the office, but it's not you. Maybe it's him. You mean Baekhyun, right? The one who came by when you visited?"

 

"So it must be him, huh?" Kris looks at Chanyeol with interest and a knowing smirk. "But why are you asking?"

 

"To be honest, hyung, I really don't know. I mean okay, sure, I like him. But do I only like him as a friend or do I like him so much more than that? There's a foreign feeling in my heart when he's around me I couldn't quite point out what. I've been sort of ignoring him lately for the past week, actually. I don't know why I'm doing it. I just think it's better off that way. I don't want to get so attached, because it's scary. The thought alone is scary and then there's Jungsoo. I wouldn't know how to explain to him when the time comes."

 

"Then there must be something. I mean, why would you even think about what would happen next? Maybe you really like him, because think about it. You must be anxious, but...," Kris pauses. "It's not that I'm intruding or anything okay, but if this is so foreign to you, then did you ever love Jungsoo's mom?"

 

"Of course I did!" Chanyeol sounds agitated. "In fact, I still do."

 

"Then why?"

 

And just like that, Chanyeol looks so frightened in a snap, a panic-stricken emotion crossing his eyes in a flurry. It's as if fragments of the past is haunting his memories, because some truth is lying at the bottom of his heart and it's even harder to admit now. It's got something to do with his future with Jungsoo. He can't lose him, but he's got to face the truth and maybe he's got to tell someone the truth. Maybe Kris should know, but maybe he shouldn't tell him too.

 

"Because hyung I...I'm..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back in the daycare, Baekhyun starts regaining all composure of treating all the kids equally with his time and attention. He plays with Jungsoo just as well as he plays with Soojung and Myungsoo.

 

Kyungsoo was really glad when Baekhyun told him about the letter to Busan and wished him all the best—that whether or not he accepts it or not, Kyungsoo would still support him. It's sad, though, because Kyungsoo's been missing in action lately that he's almost left with Luhan always. Kyungsoo says it's because his mother has got a lot of errands for him to run regarding their small business located just at the end of the street of their own house. Anyway, Luhan's really a kind soul when it comes to kids is what Baekhyun has noticed. In fact, Luhan's been hoarding all the attention of the kids with just a week and a half of him volunteering in the daycare. It’s almost as if he carries pheromones for men and women to fall right at his every step. Baekhyun's not really jealous, because somehow it's what makes him know more about Luhan and maybe Kyungsoo is right that maybe he could divert all attention from his feelings for Chanyeol and concentrate it to much better things like the daycare and the kids. Yeah, the kids. Furthermore, he'll be leaving for Busan in two months and Baekhyun knows he knows what decision he'll make.  

 

It's hard, though, because he always sees Jungsoo and how he eerily looks like Chanyeol in almost all angles. 

 

"Baek, I'll just potty train Minkyung," Luhan's voice comes from the bathroom. 

 

So Baekhyun is left alone tending to all the kids by the indoor playground, following Myungsoo around in case he might fall. He carries Minkee on top of the slide to go down smoothly and plays blocks with Minji just to keep himself preoccupied. 

 

However, when he turns back around, he catches sight of Jungsoo in a corner playing silently. The picture looks weird, because a couple of meters away stands Soojung with her arms crossed over her chest. Behind her are Sunyoung and Jinri, both looking a little confused and innocent as though they don't know what Soojung's intentions are of doing whatever she's going to do. So Soojung steps up her game, walks nearer to Jungsoo before she says, "You!" and points to Jungsoo.

 

Jungsoo's expression looks somewhere along shocked and a little frightened, his fists were also slightly shaking if it wasn't obvious enough. His face looks calmer, though, as he says, "What about me?" and points to himself innocently.

 

"Do you have a mom?"

 

That question scares Baekhyun as well, because he doesn't know the answer to the question either. For a while, his mind is clouded with curiosity that he resists all urge to walk over and break the fight happening between the kids. He turns his attention to Jungsoo and finds him falling to his little angel in a weak attempt to let the question go and ignore it. Soojung remains standing, waiting for Jungsoo to answer the question. She even makes the situation worst because then she says, "I never see you with your mommy."

 

And then Jungsoo turns around and faces the wall, hands covering his face because he feels ashamed.

 

He doesn't know what to answer to Soojung, let alone ask his daddy about it. Because Jungsoo tried, to pry the truth from Chanyeol, only to be harshly ignored. There are times he would look at all the other kids with a mommy and a daddy and he feels jealousy stirring somewhere in him, but Chanyeol always gets mad at him. Chanyeol gets worked up for no reason that he's tired trying all the same, because he knows his appa doesn't want to talk about it—always doesn't want to tell him about anything about his mommy, except that one time when he told him that he doesn't know if she will ever come back.

 

It hurt.

 

Ever since then, the topic of his mommy hasn't ever been brought up. The thought alone hurt Jungsoo as he unconsciously cries and feels his hands getting wet. 

 

Baekhyun, on the other hand, panics and the curiosity flies off and away his mind as he stalks over in between Jungsoo and Soojung. He looks at Soojung first, the leader of the group apparently, and lectures her as calm as he could about how it's not good to be making fun of Jungsoo. Baekhyun applies his lessons in psychology and uses reverse psychology on Soojung, asking her what she would do if she were in the same situation as Jungsoo. Baekhyun tells her just as well that he likes all of them equally with a little lie and ruffles Soojung's hair because he wants her to understand that. He smiles at Soojung, Jinri, and Josephine and tells them to say sorry to Jungsoo, most especially Soojung. But before Soojung does, he makes Baekhyun crouch to her level and kiss her oppa's cheek whilst saying "I'm sorry, oppa. I'll never do it again." After which, she stalks over to Jungsoo and puts a hand over his shoulder. 

 

Soojung pries Jungsoo's hands away from his face and embraces him sincerely, because she really is sorry with promises of never doing it again and that maybe they could even be best of friends. Soojung starts to treat him so much better, so does Josephine and Jinri. 

 

 

 

 

 

Later on, they find out that Jungsoo is actually well-liked by all the girls at the daycare and now he doesn't feel so alone. 

 

"Jungsoo-ya, you've got quite a lot of fans like me," Baekhyun teases and Jungsoo just can't help but to blush at the remark. "So would you like to be a little less of your dad and a little more like hyung?"

 

"Maybe," is all Jungsoo says, before he giggles at the back of his hand. 

 

So much more happens in the day with Luhan and Baekhyun's adventures at the daycare together, tending to all the kids with Joonmyun from time to time when they couldn't handle it with just their little manpower and where is Kyungsoo when you need him most. But what catches Baekhyun's attention the most is when Jungsoo asked him something so out of the blue as they're seated side by side at the playground, with all the other kids playing surrounding them. Baekhyun thought Jungsoo wouldn't want to talk about it anymore after what happened with Soojung, but then he asks Baekhyun in so little voice, confused and curious at the same time.

 

"Puppy hyung, what's your mom like?"

 

Baekhyun only looks at Jungsoo in shock for a few seconds, ignores the nickname completely because this conversation sounds serious. So serious, in fact, for someone Jungsoo's age. Baekhyun's confused why Jungsoo's asking this and whether Jungsoo is or not ready to talk about it.

 

"I'm okay, hyung," Jungsoo smiles, must have sensed Baekhyun's worry. "I just want to know."

 

"Okay," Baekhyun smiles back. "Well, my mom is... how do I put this? Uhm, my mom is a kind woman. Sometimes she can be a little annoying for me, but I know she loves me when she cooks really good dishes for me. She comes by hyung's apartment during weekends, always reminds me to do this and that and not forget about myself. She always tells me to be happy and do the things I love doing. Like this daycare. Hyung volunteered in here, because I like kids like you, Jungsoo." 

 

Then there's a really long pause, before Jungsoo breaks his silence after processing the things Baekhyun just told him. 

 

"Appa doesn't tell me about my umma, hyung," he says. "Sometimes when I ask he gets so mad. He tells me not to ask about it. Sometimes he tells me it's not important and it's not something I would understand at my age. Sometimes I don't know what he means by she'll come back when she's ready. But I know appa's really sad about it, because sometimes I hear him cry before we sleep when I pretend that I'm sleeping. I always hear him say 'how do I tell him?' and sometimes I think that maybe he means me when I think about it."

 

Baekhyun only envelopes Jungsoo in a hug when he stops talking, carrying him over to his lap to make him smile by putting his fingers on the corner of Jungsoo’s mouth and pushing them up to form into a smile. 

 

"I'm sure you'll meet her someday," Baekhyun whispers, before putting Jungsoo's chin over his shoulders.

 

In Jungsoo's heart, he still wishes that somewhere someday whatever Baekhyun said will really come true. He has a lot of hope building in his heart and a lot of trust in his hyung. Maybe one Christmas he'll just find her umma right below the Christmas tree, because his imagination speaks to him in ways one couldn't explain. Maybe Santa Claus just borrowed his mom for a while, because maybe Santa Claus doesn't have a mom too. Or maybe when he starts losing a tooth or two, he could wish for the tooth fairy to give him his mom back rather than a couple of coins. He got the idea from Chanyeol's stories to him before when he'd tell Jungsoo stories before they go to sleep, which seems rare these days actually, because Chanyeol's always tired and couldn't come up with a bedtime story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Chanyeol parks right in front of the daycare to fetch Jungsoo, he stops and thinks for a while as he stares at the steering wheel. His mind drifts back to that conversation with Kris early in the morning—that maybe he really does like Baekhyun more than a friend or more than just Jungsoo's playmate, because he thinks about him often. Or maybe it really is true, because he feels his heart race whenever Baekhyun smiles. But that's beside the point, because now Chanyeol has told Kris the truth about Jungsoo's mom. 

 

He looks over the window to his right in longing, hoping to spot Jungsoo in sight but he doesn't. So he unbuckles his seat belt, takes small but sure steps over the front door of the daycare. 

 

He hears someone say, "Hyung, we'll be leaving now." and he turns his head to someone familiar. It's that someone he's seen with Baekhyun before but it's not Kyungsoo and he's standing right beside Baekhyun, who may or may not be an object of his affection. He's actually still not sure. 

 

Again, his mind drifts back further. To that time he saw Baekhyun with the guy he's with right now, too. When he felt things in particular stirring in his heart. When he'd thought he panicked because Baekhyun's getting too close to Jungsoo more than him, when he'd felt fear because Jungsoo may seek Baekhyun more and more than him, and when he'd felt jealousy because Baekhyun is so much closer to Jungsoo now than he is even if Jungsoo knows Chanyeol as his father. 

 

But right now feels a little different as his eyes glaze over to Baekhyun's own. Baekhyun smiles a slight smile to his direction, but then he looks away promptly. Chanyeol feels this is panic, because he might have sent the wrong signals to Baekhyun when he'd been ignoring him for the past week. Chanyeol knows this is fear, because the panic is escalating with the rapid beats of his heart and a pace he couldn't quite grasp because why did Baekhyun just look away and why isn't he his natural bubbly self? And sure, this is jealousy because he feels jealous of the guy next to Baekhyun when he has no right to be. Baekhyun's clearly not his, so why should he be?

 

But before he could even get a chance to talk to Baekhyun about things Chanyeol thinks he should clear up, Baekhyun walks out with the guy. The guy that is clearly not him. And maybe he really does like Baekhyun more than a friend. It's a new discovery, but maybe it's too late of a discovery because now he's being taken away by that guy he still doesn't know the name of. 

 

Jungsoo successfully also tugs at his pants, distracting him from all thoughts of Baekhyun, and raises his daycare bag to him, which he accepts as he scoops Jungsoo into his arms before walking out after saying his thanks to Joonmyun as usual. 

 

 

 

 

 

On their way home, Jungsoo bites his lip seated at the passenger seat, thinking if he should tell Chanyeol about his daycare adventure today. Chanyeol still seems preoccupied, stopping at a red light as he drums his fingers at the steering wheel. He turns to Jungsoo, however, and smiles at him before he beats Jungsoo to say anything when he asks, "So how was daycare today?"

 

"It's a lot better, appa," and Chanyeol finds it warm, because Jungsoo seemed to have had a lot of fun with the smile he currently wears. 

 

"What did you do?" Chanyeol asks, still looking right on the road, waiting for the green light to show. But then Jungsoo doesn't answer for a few seconds. "Hmmm?" he turns to Jungsoo again, who seems bothered by something as he bites his lip.

 

"I was made fun of." 

 

"What!?"

 

"But it's okay now, because Baekhyun hyung helped me and all the other kids are my friends now."

 

Chanyeol calms down at the mention of Baekhyun's name, but still can't help but to feel agitated, questioning all the possibilities as to why Jungsoo would be made fun of.

 

"Did they bully you before, too? Why didn't you tell me about it? Why did they?" and before Chanyeol knows it, he's directing all the questions to Jungsoo again and asking him, seeming worked up just because of it.

 

"Appa, it's okay," Jungsoo says softly. 

 

"But why? Did you do anything to make them do that to you?"

 

"No," Jungsoo says quietly. "It's okay now."

 

"But you only keep on saying it's okay. I want to know, Jungsoo."

 

"But you'll get mad at me again."

 

"What is it about?" Chanyeol runs a hand through his hair. "Just tell me."

 

"But you'll get mad," Jungsoo frowns and traces figures on the window pane as he looks at the scenery of Seoul at night.

 

"I'll get even madder if you wouldn't tell me."

 

"They said I don't have an umma."

 

And that does it. Shut Chanyeol up, that is. Chanyeol says a quiet, "Oh," and he doesn't say anything other than that until they're home and he tucks Jungsoo to sleep. 

 

It’s just that he’s contemplating if the truth is ripe enough to tell Jungsoo or that maybe he should do something about their situation too. Maybe contact Yerin, something… just something to make it so much easier for Jungsoo.

 

 

 

 

 

After which, he steps out to the living room with his phone in hand and scrolls through his contacts, landing on a name that's been unsung for a few years. It's an inactive number for 4 years and counting that he stopped trying. He’s really doing it. Contacting her. It's Yerin. It's Jungsoo's mom. It’s been years.

 

He's unconscious when he presses the call button and he only ever registers he dialed it when the other line starts ringing. He almost throws the phone in his hand, because it's taking so damn long. 

 

Why isn't anyone answering?

 

It must be a wrong number, maybe she isn't using it anymore, is what he thinks. When the ringing subsides, he gulps because he doesn't know what to say and he could only ever hear noise on the other line before he unconsciously mutters, "Yerin."

 

"Who's th—op-oppa...?"

 

In panic, Chanyeol says, "Yerin. Yerin-ah, don't hang up!" he says in a rush when he hears silence on the other line.

 

"Ch-Chanyeol oppa," she pauses. "I just... I'm sorry. I came back," she pauses again, doesn’t know where to start and almost sounds scared when she asks a question that makes Chanyeol panic even more, "Can I... how's... Jungsoo?"

 

Chanyeol doesn’t know what to answer, panic getting the best of him as his heart beats so loud in his chest. His eyes are wide, looking at a crack on the wall he hasn’t noticed before because… he just… what is this…

 

And he drops the phone to the ground. Shock registers in his face and his mouth remains agape. He stares at the screen and the call is still running 00:45, but then it stops.

 

She hung up.

 

It's a relief the ground is carpeted and his phone doesn't break, but he doesn't know what to feel, doesn't know what to say, or what to think about. He feels like choking when he bends forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He feels sweat dripping down his forehead. He runs a hand through his hair, does things... anything, just to get his mind off things. 

 

What was that just now?

 

For four years and counting and all she could say is sorry? For four years of inactivity, walking out of all their lives, it's such a shock she still cares about her... son? 

 

Then he thinks about Baekhyun and how he likes him, but how he's taken and...

 

How will I tell him?

 

All these thoughts running in his head that he doesn’t even know where to start.

 

He knows he ended up dropping his phone, because he's the one who couldn't accept the real truth behind everything. It wasn't her who first hung up, but him because he remembers what he'd told Kris earlier in the day. Because...

"Because hyung I...I'm... Hyung, I'm not Jungsoo's biological father."

 

"What?!"

 

"Yerin. Yerin is my sister. She left him…with me. She’s her son. Jungsoo."

 

"Then... where is she?"

 

"I... I don't know. I don't want to know."

 

"But Chanyeol! She has a right to know. They have a right to know."

 

"It's been four years. I tried. I really did."

 

"Then maybe you should try again."

 

Because behind everything is something he still couldn't admit to himself. Because despite liking Baekhyun is a problem he's been meaning to solve for all these years. How could he like Baekhyun, let alone be in a relationship when he couldn't accept the truth—when he couldn't be honest, because relationships are partly about honesty and trust. Because after all these years, he still loves Yerin because she is his sister. 

 

And he can't quite let Jungsoo go. Not now. No, because he knows he treated him like his own for all these years. Sorry couldn't make up for it. All the hardships he needed to go through, all the sacrifices and sleepless nights. Jungsoo is his or at least that's what he wants to believe,

 

because this is what Chanyeol means when he's afraid of attachment,

 

afraid of being taken away from him something that's not even his.

 

Jungsoo.

 

And now,

 

even Baekhyun.

 

Just what could be next?

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

A/N:

Guess how long the update is. It's 3.6k. Well, like I put above. Guys I... This chapter hurt me. I didn't want to focus too much on Chanyeol's emotions, because it really hurts me, If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack. Corny :(((( I'll focus on that in the next chapters. For now, this. Now you know what I'm talking about. But there's still so much more to unravel in the next chapters. Sorry I only got to update now.

Comments will make me happy and will make me more speedy, LOL.