Great. This is what I get for wearing shorts more than once before washing them. What was I supposed to say? Oh, it’s just some list that includes my desire to kill myself after my twentieth birthday? Yeah right, like that would happen. I had to find a way to properly tell him.

But one thing was for certain – I wasn’t going to tell him any time soon.

“What kind of list is this?” Kikwang asked.

“Er, it’s nothing!” I stuttered, snatching it away before he could unfold it.

“What’s wrong? It’s just a list,” he shrugged.

“It’s not just a list, it’s...never mind,” I sighed.

“Is it something bad?” he asked.

“No, it’s nothing, honestly,” I said, forcing a smile. “Just forget it, okay?”

“I guess so...” he said uneasily.

“Look, I have to go home now,” I said. “Sorry if this date was umm...kind of weird.”

“No, I really enjoyed the date,” he beamed. “Should we hang out again sometime soon?”

“Of course,” I smiled.

“Do you want me to walk you home?”

“No, no, I can walk by myself,” I assured him.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be fine,” I replied, pecking his cheek. “Goodnight.”

As I left the carnival, I decided to head to the closest bar in search for some sort of answer to my problem right now. I just needed to forget about what just happened and free my mind from everything. I know I’m still about a year or two from the legal drinking age, but in the town that I live in, no one really gives a damn. As long as you looked around the legal age, you were good – it’s amazing how strict the people in this town are.

I sat down on one of the stools and called for the bartender.

“Hey, cutie, what can I get you?” the bartender grinned.

“Umm...do you have anything light?” I asked, looking at all the weird names of alcoholic beverages.

“How about a White Lightning?” he suggested.

“What’s in it?”

“It’s just a tall shot of straight Everclear,” he explained – as if I would understand what he’s talking about.

“One won’t kill me, right?”

“I highly doubt it, Miss,” he chuckled. “But I might add – the price isn’t that light.”

“Sure, whatever then,” I sighed, sliding a few bills across the table.

“Hold up, I want some on the Beach,” a voice said from behind.

“Go away, ert,” I scoffed.

“It’s the name of the drink, idiot,” he chuckled. I was already frustrated enough, and I didn’t need some random guy coming here to annoy me.

I turned around, and my jaw nearly dropped. “...Joon?”

“Hyosung, what are you doing here?” Joon asked. “I thought you were with Kikwang.”

“I should be asking you the same question,” I replied. “You’re not old enough to drink.”

“You aren’t either,” he laughed. “I come here occasionally, but I didn’t think you’d be the type to drink.”

“I’m not the type who drinks,” I replied. “I just needed some alone time to think to myself.”

“Should I move to another table then?” he asked.

“No, it’s fine,” I answered. “I actually wanted to apologize for what happened earlier. I never expected that Kikwang would blow up like that. I didn’t tell Kikwang to say and do that stuff, honestly.”

“I know you didn’t,” he smiled. “And I actually wanted to sincerely apologize when I saw you, but Kikwang came, I just got a little pissed me off, and I guess the apology didn’t really work out as I had planned.”

“Oh, I see...” I nodded. “Wait, is that the honest truth, because your jackass-type of behaviour seemed pretty convincing.”

“I just got nervous over how Jiyeon would react to it. You can call me spineless, but being with her for so long, I just get easily worried that we might break up, so I had to show her that I wouldn’t let any girl come in between us,” he explained.

“So you don’t have any close female friends? At all?” I asked.

“Not really,” he replied, shaking his head. “I mean I’ve tried, but it never really ended well. I used to have a bunch of guy and girl friends, until I met Jiyeon and-”

“Oh gosh, I think I’ve heard enough,” I muttered.

The bartender came back with our drinks and slid them over to us.

“Woah, I thought you’re not a heavy drinker,” Joon said, staring intently at my drink.

“I’m not.”

“And yet you got one of the strongest drinks at this bar?” he replied.

“I did?” I asked.

“Do you know how much all that Everclear can screw up your mind if you can’t handle it well?” he sighed. “Why do you think they call it white lightning? It zaps your mind if you’re not careful.”

“Really?”

“Well...I don’t know the actual reason for the name, but it’s still a really strong drink,” he replied.

“Hey, I thought you said this drink was light,” I snapped, looking at the bartender.

“Yeah, the colour is,” he smirked. “I mean, it’s white, isn’t it?”

“Smartass...” I muttered. “...You ripped me off.”

“You must be a minor,” he smirked. “No one makes that kind of mistake in ordering a White Lightning if they’re looking for something light to drink. You should have ordered soy milk or something, kid.””

“I may be a minor, but I’ve probably had my first kiss before you, d*ck-face,” I mocked.

“Shut up, b*tch!” the bartender yelled. I saw his hand go up, and I knew he was about to slap me, but Joon grabbed his hand before he had the chance.

“Yah, she’s not really feeling well right now. It’s her time of the month, so give her a break. You know how moody women can get during these times,” Joon whispered, slipping a handful of money in the bartender’s hand. The bartender nodded, gave me one last glare, and walked away.

“It’s my time of the month? You couldn’t think of anything better?” I chuckled.

“Hey, it was either we pretend you’re bleeding down there, or he hits you and you start bleeding up here,” he teased, poking my cheek.

“I guess you’re right,” I sighed.

“What? I don’t even get a ‘thanks Joon for saving my sorry ’ from you?” he chuckled.

“Fine...” I began. “Thanks Joon for saving my sorry .”

“You’re welcome,” he beamed.

“Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden?” I asked. “I thought it would just be one of those instances where you apologize and take off. Besides, Jiyeon wouldn’t approve of this.”

“Well first of all, I still have to finish my drink,” he replied.

“Right, I forgot,” I laughed.

“And second of all, I think we started this friendship off on the wrong foot,” he added.

“Well technically, you were already nice, you just turned into a douchebag after our incident at the mall,” I pointed out.

“Point taken,” he sighed. “Jiyeon just makes me go crazy sometimes.”

“I’d rather not hear about your girlfriend, thanks,” I muttered.

“Are you jealous?” he smirked, leaning towards me.

“I already have Kikwang,” I retorted.

“So you’re already an item now, huh?” he asked.

“What? No, I just mean that, um-”

“I get it, I’m just teasing you,” he smiled. “I know you aren’t officially dating yet.”

“I don’t think I can anyways...” I mumbled.

“What do you mean?” he asked, raising his brow.
“Um, nothing,” I replied. “Anyways, about your girlfriend...”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about her,” he laughed.

“I don’t know, I’m starting to get curious,” I shrugged. Taking a sip of my drink, I cringed at how strong it was. “Crap that’s strong!”

“You don’t have to drink it if you think it’s too much for you to handle,” he said.

“No, I’m going to get my money’s worth and drink it all,” I replied. “So, tell me – what do you like about your girlfriend?”

“I don’t know...” he began. “...I mean, she’s cute.”

“And?” I asked.

“She’s playful...” he replied.

“And?”

“She’s loyal, I guess,” he added.

“Are you describing your girlfriend, or a dog?” I laughed.

“Yah!” he snapped.

“I’m just kidding,” I assured him. “But honestly...what do you really know about her?”

“Did Kikwang tell you to ask me these questions?” Joon asked. “Because I can tell he never really liked Jiyeon.”

“Nope. I told myself,” I grinned. “So talk.”

“To be honest, I don’t really know too much about her personal life because she refuses to tell me,” he explained.

“You’ve never found it suspicious how she never returns any of that intimacy?” I asked.

“I guess I thought I was just being respectful of her privacy by not pushing her to tell me about her life or who she is,” he replied. “We never really talk...We just hang out and have fun.”

“That’s what you would call a fantasy-type relationship – you may have passion and commitment, but at the end of the day, the most important aspects of a relationship which is the intimacy and mutual understanding, is lacking,” I explained. “You never know how long you can actually keep the relationship up if all you’re doing is going on dates and buying each other nice things.”

“You have a point there,” Joon sighed.

“You don’t have to listen to me entirely. I mean, I’ve never actually been in a relationship, and I’m not trying to be a home-wrecker,” I added. “I’m just stating my opinion.”

“It’s a pretty logical opinion though,” he replied, letting out a soft chuckle.

“You don’t have to answer this is you don’t want to...” I began. “...but do you love Jiyeon? You’ve said you’ve been together for a while, but I just want to know. Do you honestly love her?”

“After all that you’ve said, I’d just embarrass myself at this point,” he muttered.

“Wait, is that a yes or no?” I asked in confusion.

“It’s an unsure ‘maybe’,” he replied.

“I see...” I nodded, trying to take another sip of my drink.

“What about you?” he asked.

“What about me?” I repeated.

“How do you feel about Kikwang?” he asked.

“Oh...” I began. “...Well I met him a few weeks ago, so I can’t really say.”

“But you like him at least a little bit, right?” he asked.

“I guess so,” I shrugged. “I mean, I guess I wouldn’t have kissed him tonight if I didn’t like him, right?”

“You kissed him?” he asked in shock.

“Yeah, is that a bad thing?”

“No, it’s just weird,” he replied. “Kikwang never really does that kind of thing, especially on first dates.”

“Has he ever had a girlfriend before?” I asked, suddenly curious about where Kikwang stood in terms of dating.

“Not really. He’s just been on dates, but they never really worked out,” Joon explained. I couldn’t help but smile just a little bit at that.

He looked at me intently and laughed, “You seem really happy about that.”

“Pfft, no,” I scoffed, chugging down most of my drink to cover my excitement.

“Yah, watch it, remember how strong that is?” Joon said worriedly, trying to grab the drink from my hands. I gulped down the rest of it before he had a chance to take it away.

“What the hell did you do?!” he snapped.

“I drank it,” I replied bluntly. “It’s surprisingly tasty when you drink it all at once.”

“Yeah, and dangerous,” he replied. “Just hope your vision stays intact. Trust me – I tried drinking it all at once, and I nearly collapsed a few seconds later - and I was a pretty heavy drinker at the time.”

“How old were you, fourteen? Obviously you wouldn’t be able to handle it. I’ll be fine,” I assured him. To be honest, I was terrified as to what might happen to me later on.

“So Hyosung, what should we call this little exchange of thoughts?” Joon asked, finishing off the rest of his drink.

“Definitely not a date, that’s for sure,” I chuckled. “You’re still in a relationship, remember?”

“I think it deserves a title,” he replied.

“Hm...You can call it the rekindling of a friendship,” I beamed. “Well...a friendship that should be kept a secret from Jiyeon.”

“I don’t care if she finds out.”

“...Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “What happened to you being scared of her breaking up with you?”

“Okay, so maybe I will care, just a little bit,” he chuckled. “But at least now you’ll understand why I may come off as a mean guy sometimes, right?”

“I guess so,” I sighed.

“You’re a good friend, Hyosung,” he smiled, extending his hand. As I reached for his hand, my vision started blurring and I missed his hand entirely.

“Crap...” I cursed under my breath. I felt a burning sensation in my head, so I pulled my hand back and cringed, placing my fingertips on my temple lobes.

“Hey, are you okay?” Joon asked, anxiety filling his voice.

“Yeah, I’m –ugh, it hurts,” I said, wincing in pain. My hands and the back of my mouth started to feel numb, and my vision was getting worse and worse.

“I told you to be careful!” Joon said. “Damn, that alcohol worked really fast.”

I was scared. I wasn’t drunk or anything, but my body just felt so weak and unable to do anything.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Joon asked.

“Okay, just stop moving.”

“I’m not. Just tell me how many you see.”

“Fifteen?”

“, this is bad,” he sighed. “Alright, I’m taking you home.”

“Joon, I’m scared!” I panicked.

“You’ll be okay, I just really need to take you home,” he replied. “Get on my back.”

“I can’t find it.”

“How can you not find my back?”

“I can’t even find your face,” I said groggily.  I was feeling delirious, like my body could collapse at any moment. I felt his arms guiding mine around his neck, and then my legs around his waist.

“Just hold on, okay?” he asked. “You can rest your head on my shoulder. Try not to vomit on me.”

 “Sorry,” I muttered.

“It’s okay, I just need to get you home safely,” he replied, heading for the door.

Before I knew it, we were already approaching my house – I guess I was really passed out on the way home. I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked at Joon.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“My head still kills, but I can at least see a little clearer,” I answered.

“That’s good to hear,” he smiled.

“Yeah...”

“You want to get off of me now? You’re a little heavy.”

“Right, sorry,” I mumbled, removing my arms from his neck. After pressing the doorbell, I felt shooting pain in my head and nearly fell over again.

“Hey, be careful!” Joon said, catching me by my waist. I saw my mom answer the door with a shocked look on her face.

“M-Mom!” I stuttered, standing up straight.

“I thought you had a date with Kikwang,” she said.

“I was, but I just ran into Joon on the way home,” I replied.

“Kikwang didn’t want to walk you home?” she asked. “That’s inconsiderate of him.”

“No, it’s not his fault,” I assured her. “I decided to walk home by myself.”

She looked at me fixedly, staring at was probably my very bloodshot eyes by now. “Jun Hyosung, have you been drinking?”

I looked up at Joon, not knowing what to say. I was hoping he could figure out another way to save my sorry .

“I’m waiting,” my mom said sternly.

“Yes, she was drinking,” Joon said bluntly.

“HEY, WHAT THE FU-”

“Watch your language!” my mom interrupted. “Hyosung, you’re not even old enough to get into a bar.”

“The guy at the bar didn’t seem to care,” I mumbled.

“What am I going to do with you?” my mom sighed.

“Hyosung just saw me at the bar, trying to order a bunch of shots,” Joon explained. “She um...She went inside to stop me, and when she ordered a glass of water, the bartender gave her a strong alcoholic drink instead, and I didn’t notice until she started showing symptoms of pain and blurred vision.”

“Yah, Joon...” I whispered.

“It was my fault, and I’m sorry Mrs. Jun,” he said, bowing.

“Joon...I...” my mom muttered. “Thank you for helping Hyosung walk home, but you do realize I’ll have to tell your parents about this, right?”

“I understand,” he nodded.

“For now though, would you like to come inside for tea?” she asked. “The both of you can clear your heads.” We both nodded and walked inside towards the kitchen. After handing us cups of tea, she bid us a goodnight and walked upstairs to bed.

“About what just happened...” I began.

“Don’t even worry about it,” Joon answered. “It’s not a big deal.”

“But my mom is going to tell your parents that you were drinking,” I protested.

“My parents don’t care about what I do,” he shrugged.

“They...they don’t?” I asked in shock.

“Why do you think I’m always skipping school?” he asked, taking a sip of his tea. “My parents could care less about what I do because at the end of it all, they don’t need me to take over the business – my smarter, older brother already has that taken care of.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry...” I muttered.

“No worries,” he smiled. I was about to say something, but I heard the doorbell ring.

“I should probably get that,” I said, taking my tea with me.

“Yeah, I should be heading home now anyways,” I replied, following behind me. “Listen, Hyosung...”

“Hmm?” I asked.

“I’m really glad we’re on the right foot now,” he replied. “And I liked getting to talk to you about all this stuff...You don’t know how hard it is to try talking about in-depth stuff like this with my girlfriend. I wish I could talk to her like I do with you.”

“Well then maybe you need to find a girl like that,” I smiled. I turned around to open the door and nearly dropped my tea.

“Kikwang?”

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yay~~~ even longer chapter LOL *throws more confetti* 

Since I don't actually know who is legitly (is that a word, idk xD) reading this story (because I get no comments -facepalm-), do you guys mind answering two polls? 8D

Thanks everyone! :)

- Liana <3

Edit: I don't actually drink stuff like White Lightning, or alcohol for that matter LOL I just googled it, so don't judge me xD