“Kikwang, what are you doing here?” I asked after realizing the awkward atmosphere between the three of us.

“I just wanted to make sure you got home safely...” he replied, glaring at Joon. “...What is he doing here?”

“He just helped me get home,” I answered. “Please, don’t misunderstand anything.”

“I thought you wanted to walk home by yourself?”

“Oh, I did say that, didn’t I?” I muttered. “Umm...”

“So you didn’t care that Joon hurt your feelings?” Kikwang asked.

“I did, but-”

“Then why the hell is he with you this late at night?”

“Um, just give me some time to explain...” I murmured, looking around the floor as if I would come up with an answer that way.

“She tripped while walking, and I saw her sitting on the sidewalk so I just helped her walk the rest of the way home,” Joon said. Why does he keep lying for me?

“She doesn’t look like she got hurt. And why are you in her house?” Kikwang retorted.

“We had some tea to clear our heads from drinking at the bar.” I glared at him and slapped his arm. “OW!”

“You went drinking with Joon?!” Kikwang snapped.

“No!” I protested.

“Don’t lie to me, Hyosung.”

“Well...”

“In all fairness, Hyosung was the only one who got kind of delirious,” Joon interrupted.

“Did you her?!”

“Yah, why are you overreacting?” Joon snapped. “You’re not making any sense.”

“I don’t want an explanation from you,” Kikwang said, glaring at Joon. “Hyosung...tell me the truth.”

“I’ll explain this all to you some other time,” I replied. “I’m just really tired right now.”

“Whatever...” Kikwang mumbled, walking away.

“Kikwang!” I called. He never turned around and kept walking. “Crap...”

“Sorry,” Joon said. “I guess the tea didn’t fully clear my head.”

“It’s not really your fault...” I sighed. “And you’ve already done enough for me tonight.”

“I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Goodnight.” I closed the door and glumly walked upstairs to my room.

After putting away my bag, I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling for a good ten minutes. “Life is stupid...”

I haven’t been able to talk to Kikwang in two weeks since he claimed to be too busy with work. I’ve just been at home doing nothing for most of the time. I rolled over on my bed and reached for my phone.

“Ugh, it’s just a text from Joon again. Damnit Kikwang, what are you doing to me?” I groaned. “Just give me one text saying ‘hi’ or something...”

Joon: ‘Are you free to hang out?’

I sighed and contemplated over what to do. On one hand, it would be nice to get out of the house for a while, considering I haven’t really gone out anywhere in a while. On the other hand, Kikwang might see us together again and would postpone our next meeting even longer out of anger or whatever, or even worse – Jiyeon might see us. Coming across that possibility made me wonder – was this another set up? What if Joon just needed me to help him find a matching bracelet to that necklace he bought for her the first time we went on a ‘date’? I had to figure out before I made another stupid mistake.

Hyosung: ‘What happened to your girlfriend this time?’

Joon: ‘Nothing happened. She didn’t feel like hanging out today – said she had some family stuff to do, so that makes me free to spend time with you J Unless you’re that loyal to Kikwang to the point where you don’t want to hang out with me anymore ;)’

Since when did girls like Jiyeon bother going to family stuff?

Hyosung: ‘Sure, I’ll meet you outside your house.’

Joon: ‘No need, I’ll pick you up’

Before I could send another text, I heard the doorbell go crazy.

DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING...DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!!

“YAH, SHUT UP!” I shrieked, running towards the door. “Do you need to pee or something?!”

“Good afternoon,” Joon said cheekily. I rolled my eyes at him and leaned against the door.

“You’re that eager to see me, huh? What’s the occasion?” I scoffed.

“Ouch, someone’s being a little touchy,” Joon teased while squinting his eyes.

“Seriously Joon, what is your girlfriend really doing?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Woah, why are you so serious today?” Joon frowned. “Don’t worry about Jiyeon.”

“That’s what you said last time,” I muttered.

“It’s different this time, I promise,” he replied. “Shall we go?” I knew the safer option would just be to stay home and lock myself in my room, but I really needed to get out for a while.

“Alright,” I sighed.

“Great!” And with a quick movement, he interlocked his hand with mind. I jumped at his sudden action and quickly withdrew my hand.

“Hey, what was that?” I snapped, frowning at him.

“That was a bee that just flew by,” Joon shrugged. Oh boy, his stupid comments started to return.

“No, I meant, why did you suddenly hold my hand?” I replied.

“Because we’re friends...?” he muttered slowly. “Am I not able to hold your hand?”

“Well, I mean...”

“You’re scared that you’re going to fall for me pretty soon, aren’t you?” Joon smirked.

“NO!” I snapped, hitting his arm.

“I’m kidding, Hyosung,” he chuckled. He extended his arm again and looked at me, “Let’s try this again.”

I really didn’t want to hold his hand, so I just linked arms with him. Joon shot me another smile before we started walking towards his motorcycle. As he handed me a helmet, another hand snatched it away before I was able to take it.

“K-Kikwang!” I stuttered. I kind of figured that at this rate, any sort of interruption between Joon and I would be from Kikwang. Oh, how magical coincidences may seem...

“I finally come over to reason things out with you, and I find you about to ride off on a motorcycle with Joon?” Kikwang scoffed.

“Kikwang, it’s-”

“Not what it looks like?” he interrupted. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

“Dude, just loosen up, okay?” Joon said. “Don’t let some stupid thing ruin our friendship, or your relationship with Hyosung.”

“When did I say we were a couple...” Kikwang muttered. I knew he didn’t intend on letting Joon or I hear it, but I heard it anyways – and it hurt.

“Yah, are you listening?” Joon snapped.

“I didn’t come here to listen to you,” Kikwang replied. “I need to speak with Hyosung.”

“Can it wait?” Joon asked. “We had plans.”

“Joon...” I whispered. “Do you mind if we make a rain check on our plans? I really need to talk to Kikwang. Please?”

“...Fine,” Joon sighed. He took his helmet from Kikwang and drove off, leaving a tense atmosphere between Kikwang and I.

“Do you want to talk inside?” I asked, avoiding his gaze. He nodded without uttering a word and followed me inside.

“Do you want a drink or something?” I asked. He shook his head again and headed straight for the couch.

“My mom made some cake last night, if you want some,” I offered. There was still no answer. “Yah, are you going to talk?”

 “Aren’t you going to sit down?” he suddenly asked, motioning for me to sit next to him.

“Uh, sure,” I replied, walking over to the couch. I guess trying to make small talk was out of the picture, and it was obvious that his only goal was to talk to me about Joon.

“So...” he began. “...Why did you lie?” Oh, how blunt of him.

“I didn’t,” I protested. “Well I kind of did because I let Joon lie for me, but-”

“So you really intended on walking home by yourself?” he asked. I just nodded as he gave me an affirmative look. “I see...”

“But he wasn’t lying when he said we went drinking,” I added. “It’s just...not in the same way you thought. You see, after the carnival, I just needed to clear my head from all thoughts, so I went to a local bar to drink. He just happened to be there, and when I started getting blurred vision he helped take me home.”

“You actually got drunk?” he asked in shock. “I thought that was a joke...”

“Not really drunk per say...” I replied. “...I just kind of...passed out.”

“How is that any better?” he chuckled.

“Well, you’re smiling, aren’t you?” I beamed.

“I guess,” he shrugged. “I’m pretty surprised that Joon showed that side to him.”

“What side?”

“The considerate one,” he replied.

“He’s usually not considerate?” I asked.

“Not since he met Jiyeon,” he groaned. “It amazes me how much he’s changed since they started going out. I mean, he didn’t even start drinking until he met her.”

“Oh...”

“And hang on,” he added. “What exactly made you want to clear your head by drinking?”

“N-Nothing,” I stuttered. “It just hurt a little.”

“So you decided to remove your headache by binging on alcohol?” he laughed.

“I’ll admit, it wasn’t one of my best decisions,” I sighed. “On a side note...are we okay?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he smiled. “I guess I got a little worried seeing you with Joon last night.”

“Were you worried...or jealous?” I teased. Kikwang just rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“I can’t believe I waited for two weeks to get a one minute explanation from you,” Kikwang sighed.

“It was your fault for not answering any of my calls or texts,” I mumbled, crossing my arms.

“I just wanted you to miss me,” he winked, putting his arm around me. I grunted and shrugged his hand away.

“We’re not a couple, remember?” I mimicked from earlier on when we were talking to Joon.

“Who said that?” Kikwang asked.

“You did, like five minutes ago,” I replied. “You said, ‘When did I say we were a couple’ when Joon was here.”

“Well...do you want us to be a couple?” Kikwang muttered.

“...Do you?” I answered.

“Well, I-”

“Hyosung, are you dressed?” my mom called, walking through the door.

“Seriously mom, do you time everything you do so that it interrupts my plans at the worst times?” I groaned. “And what am I supposed to be dressed for?”

“You’re going out with Joon tonight.”

“WHAT?!” Kikwang yelled.

“Yah, calm down,” I whispered. “My mom’s probably just twisting the words around a little bit.”

“Well actually, our families are going out,” my mom corrected.

“See? Don’t worry,” I smiled.

“But we reserved a table for you and Joon, isn’t that great?” my mom chirped.

“WHAT?!” Kikwang yelled again.

“Don’t you all know that Joon has a girlfriend?” I asked.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean friends can’t go out to dinner,” she replied.

“Yes it does...” Kikwang muttered. I nudged his arm to make him shut up and turned back to my mom.

“Does Joon know about this?” I asked.

“Not yet, but I saw him driving home, so he should find out pretty soon,” she replied. “We figured that since you two have finally started hanging out, it would be great for our families to start spending time together like we planned on doing for years now.”

“Can’t you adults just go out on your own?” I asked. “I already have a boyfriend.”

“You do?” Kikwang whispered. “Is it me?”

“Um, well...kind of...H-How do you feel about that?” I muttered.

“You two are boyfriend and girlfriend already?” my mom gasped. “I haven’t even gotten to know this boy yet!”
“Yah, for the past few weeks, all you’ve been doing is trying to get Kikwang to be my boyfriend,” I snapped. “Why are you suddenly so tense and protective?”

“Hyosung, can I talk to you in the kitchen privately?” my mom asked.

“No, you can say it here, in front of Kikwang.”

“YAH! Hurry up!” she snapped, walking towards the kitchen.

“Crap...” I cursed, getting up from the couch. “I’ll be right back.”

By the time I got to the kitchen, my mom was already sitting at the table with a glass of water in her hand, probably to cool off her hot head.

“What’s your problem, mom?” I sighed.

“What’s my problem?” she snorted. “What’s your problem?! You don’t even bother finishing high school, and I at least expected you to get a job. But instead, you quit after about a day and decide to date a boy who doesn’t even bother to take you home safely!”

“Fine, then I’ll get a job! And I already told you that it was my own decision to go home by myself,” I explained. “Don’t you think it’s good that he respected my decision and let me have a little independence?”

“I just get a bad vibe from him, that’s all,” she replied sternly.

“You didn’t seem to get a bad vibe from him when I was getting ready for my date,” I snapped. “I can read you like a book, and ‘getting a bad vibe’ can’t be the only reason why you’re tense over me dating Kikwang. So give me the real reason.”

“I just think you’re better off dating Joon.”

“Since when?” I scoffed. “And if you didn’t hear me before – He has a girlfriend.”

“His family and I just feel that it would be better for the two of you to date rather than him and his current girlfriend,” she explained.

“Woah, when did Joon’s parents come into this?” I asked, raising a brow. Then something occurred to me – were our parents setting us up? Was this like those arranged marriages or something that I always see tear couples apart in clichéd dramas? Please tell me this wasn’t going to turn into that kind of situation. If they knew I was going to kill myself in two years, they would totally reconsider this.

“Hyosung-”

“Yah, don’t tell me that I’m being forced into an arranged marriage, because it would never work out anyways,” I interrupted.

“It’s not an arranged marriage,” she assured me – but I knew there was a catch.

“But you still want us to date, which will eventually lead to a marriage,” I sighed. “What’s the point of this?”

“Joon’s parents feel that he is getting too wrapped up with a girl who doesn’t have true feelings for him and is more focused on status and gifts.”

“And you think I have true feelings for Joon?!” I snapped.

“We were hoping that you could develop some for Joon,” she replied. “Joon’s parents know more about you and think you would make a much better girlfriend. They care a lot about Joon.”

“Please, they don’t give two s about how Joon feels...” I murmured. “All they care about is the family reputation and business.”

“Jun Hyosung!”

“Oh, and speaking of business, what made you so convinced that Joon and I were meant to be together? Because I’m pretty sure that you haven’t seen enough of us hanging out to come to that conclusion,” I replied.

“Hyosung, you know in these times the economy isn’t as strong as before, so a little extra money to help the bills is always a great thing to-”

“THEY BRIBED YOU?!” I yelled, slamming my hands on the table. “So basically, you’re getting paid to set Joon and I up. Do you even care about how I feel about this?!”

“Of course I do, that’s why we’re trying to ease the both of you into this,” she replied. I couldn’t believe this. I couldn’t believe how selfish my mom was being, and I’m assuming my dad also had some say in this, what with all the lottery tickets he wastes his money on.

“Look, I wasn’t going to tell you this until a lot later, but at this point I don’t care what you think, because you clearly don’t care about how I feel about things,” I replied.

“Hyosung, I-”

“Mom...” I began. “...I plan on killing myself in a few years.”

I quickly ran out of the kitchen before I could see the reaction from my mom.

“Kikwang, let’s go,” I said, grabbing his hand and rushing out the door. We ran off to the closest park and sat on one of the benches.

“Hyosung...What happened back there?” Kikwang asked, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“Please don’t ask about that now...” I sighed, burying my face in my hands. “I’ll tell you later. I just...”

“It’s okay,” Kikwang whispered, rubbing my shoulders. “I just don’t want you crying, okay?”

“I’m not sad,” I replied. “I’m just pissed off.”

“Alright, well just take deep breaths,” he said. “Tell me whenever you’re ready. After our talk earlier, I want to avoid arguing with you or forcing you to do anything.”

“Well I can talk to you about one thing...” I replied.

“Hmm?”

“When I told my mom I already had a boyfriend...”

“Were you being serious?” he asked.

“Should I not have been?” I asked, finally lifting my head. Kikwang lifted my chin and gave me a quick peck on the lips, turning my cheeks into a deep shade of red.

“How did you feel about that?”

“P-Pretty good...”

“Then you should have been serious,” he chuckled.

“So...you’re my boyfriend?” I asked.

“Unless you already have a secret one I don’t know about,” he laughed.

“Oh, that’s actually kind of something I wanted to talk to you about...” I mumbled, looking away.

“What is it now?” he sighed. “Does this have to do with what you were talking to your mom about in the kitchen? If it’s about the date you’re going on tonight, I’m okay with it. I know you wouldn’t do anything stupid.”

“It’s more than just that...”

“What, are you two arranged to be married or something?” he chuckled.

“Not exactly, but something along those lines...”

“...What?”

“Apparently they’re giving us more freedom by easing us into it,” I replied. “But they still have the idea of me and Joon dating in mind.”

“And you’re okay with it?” Kikwang frowned.

“Of course not!” I snapped. “I just said you were my boyfriend, literally, like thirty seconds ago. And they’re turning me into some sort of home-wrecker by putting me in between Joon and Jiyeon. As much as I dislike her being with him, I’d rather just stay out of it and avoid getting my whooped.”

“You have the right to refuse to listen to them,” he replied. “I don’t want to seem like a bad influence telling you to go against your parents, but it doesn’t seem right – and I’m not just saying that because I’m your boyfriend.”

“You didn’t hear the worst part,” I grunted.

“There’s more?” he sighed.

“I can’t get out of this...technically,” I replied. “My parents are being paid.”

“Joon’s parents are bribing your parents in order to get you two together?” Kikwang gasped. I just nodded and sighed in frustration.

“Kikwang...when are things going to start going right?” I frowned. “Nothing has been working out for me lately, and I’m sick of it. It’s times like this when I just want to die and forever avoid these situations. I’m so tired of this roller coaster of unwanted events.”

“Hey, don’t ever say that,” Kikwang replied. “As tough as things get, you can’t give up without a fight. I think you should go to the dinner tonight and show them that you’re not going to give in that easily.”

I know that brushing over the topic of killing myself wasn’t the best thing to do around Kikwang, but I was just so frustrated and confused with what to do. On top of all of this, I just reminded myself that one day, I’d have to somehow break it to Kikwang that I’m still following through with my plans. Is it wrong to lead him on like this? How am I supposed to tell him on my twentieth birthday that I’m never going to see him again? I mean, I actually think at the rate I’m going...I may actually start to fall in love with him. I need to somehow get out of this.

The problem is, I can’t get myself to do it. Not yet. Maybe I’ll have to find a way to gradually like him less and less so that when the time comes, it won’t hurt as much.

But for now, I need to figure out how to deal with all of this family business.

“Kikwang, I don’t know if I can keep up in this battle.”

“I know you can – you’re not as weak as other girls,” he replied.

“But-”

“Hyosung, I’m going to fight for you.”

And with that one line, my hopes of letting him go slowly came crashing down. I was hooked.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sorry for the kinda late update >__< I meant to post this chapter two days ago but I didn't have my laptop with the saved chapter on it.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter~! :D 

- Liana