The next morning was the first time I actually wanted to wake up early. I really didn’t know why I was so excited about spending time with Kikwang. It’s not like I had a crush on him or anything, and he didn’t seem to be a really good candidate to be my best friend.

Rolling out of bed, I heard my cell phone ringing.

“Hello?” I said with a yawn.

“Hyosung, let’s hang out today,” my friend Jieun replied. I didn’t really have a best friend, but Jieun was the closest person to me right now. Ever since I dropped out of school, we haven’t been very close since I couldn’t spend as much time with her, so I wondered why she would call me all of a sudden.

“Um, I can’t,” I replied, grabbing some clothes from my drawer.

“Yah, it’s been so long since we’ve hung out,” she whined. “I’ve been really busy with school work, and I finally have free time this weekend to hang out.”

“I already have plans,” I said.

“Oh, can I come with you?” she asked.

“N-NO!” I yelled, dropping the clothes in my hands. “I mean, you don’t know that person.”

“It’s not a date, is it?” she said teasingly.
“Pssh, no,” I laughed nervously.

“Alright, whatever,” she sighed. “I’ll call Sunhwa.”

“Alright, bye,” I replied, hanging up the phone. I gave a sigh of relief and picked up the clothes on my floor.

“Hyosung, you’re friend is here!” my mom called, sounding way too eager and excited for her own good.

“He’s here, already? Crap!” I muttered, throwing on a pair of shorts and an off-shoulder top. I quickly ran downstairs before my mom could start talking to him about relationships.

“Good morning,” Kikwang greeted, waving his hand. “Are you ready?”

“Do you mind waiting for like ten minutes?” I asked. “I haven’t been able to brush my teeth, wash my face, or put on makeup.”

“Just gargle with mouthwash and let’s go,” he replied.

“Yah, I won’t even take long,” I frowned.

“I really don’t want to be here that much, so it’s either you come back down in two minutes, or I leave,” he answered bluntly. I sighed and ran back upstairs to brush my teeth. I was lucky to even be able to brush my hair before leaving.

“You’re going to wear that?” he asked, examining my outfit.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with it?” I replied. “Besides, you didn’t give me time to properly get dressed. “

“Nothing, it’s just that... never mind,” he answered. He just shrugged and started walked out the door. After grabbing my bag, I waved goodbye to my parents and followed closely behind him.

“So where should we go?” I asked, trying to keep up with his quick pace.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled.

“But where are you going?” I asked. I felt so clingy at the moment, trying to get Kikwang’s attention. I was trying to get his attention for nearly twenty minutes.

Something felt really off. Was this really even worth it? I tapped his shoulder and turned him around to face me. “You really hate me, don’t you? I was at least hoping to get a less cold response from you.”

“We’re here,” he simply replied.

“...What?”

“We. Are. Here,” he repeated. I looked over his shoulder and cocked my head to the side.

“Why are we at an old building?” I asked. “Is it abandoned?” Without a word, he took my hand and led me up the flight of stairs. By the time we got to the top, I was completely out of breath – I guess not having gym class anymore really lowers one’s stamina. We walked into one of the rooms near the top of the building and sat by a huge arched window. My mouth dropped at the beautiful sight I was looking at.

“It’s gorgeous,” I said in awe. Amidst all of the amazement, I couldn’t help but notice that our hands were still interlocked. I guess he felt my grip tighten a little bit, because he suddenly pulled back and coughed awkwardly.

“Sorry,” he muttered. He walked over to one of the corners of the room and grabbed two metal chairs. After unfolding them, he made gestures with his hands for me to take a seat next to him.

“So, why are we here?” I asked.

“I figured it would be the best place to talk,” he shrugged. “We can have a really nice view of the town without hearing any outside noises.”

“Are we even allowed here?” I asked. “And why isn’t this building up for demolition?”

“I guess it’s just out of luck,” he replied. “I’ve always liked sitting up here at night. This building has been here for a few years now, and if any demolition is going to occur, it’ll probably still be in another two years or so.” I just nodded, and felt at a loss of what I was supposed to say next.

“So, what are you waiting for?” he asked. “Interview me, as you so dearly desired.”

“Why are you so bipolar?”

“Yah, ask me legitimate questions,” he snapped. “But for your information, I’m not bipolar or diseased or ill in any way.”

“Can you smile, just once?”

“What did I just tell you,” he sighed, tilting his head back. “Ask me proper questions, or don’t ask me at all.”

“Okay, fine,” I frowned. “Hmm... how old are you exactly?”

“Around your age, I’m sure,” he replied. “You would really go to an abandoned building with a guy whose age you didn’t even know? What if I were a forty-year-old man who just looks young? For all you know, this little meeting could be like a scene from a horror movie.”

“Are you a forty-year-old man?”

“No, I’m just saying.”

“So how old are you?” I repeated.

“Eighteen.”

“How long have you been eighteen?” I asked.

“Yah, is this some sort of cheap parody of that Twilight book all those teens obsess over?” he grunted.

“I’m just kidding,” I chuckled. I saw a corner of his mouth curve up, but that wasn’t enough for me – I wanted him to show me a genuine smile. “So we’re both eighteen...that’s cool. Wait, so why aren’t you in school?”

“Why aren’t you in school?” he asked.

“I asked you first.”

“Alright...” he sighed. “...Well, my family isn’t really the richest, so I needed to make some sacrifices. In order to provide for them, I had to drop out of school so I could find a job and help with the bills.”

“Oh...” I muttered. “That .”

“Yeah, well that’s life,” Kikwang sighed. “But it’s okay, I have no regrets. I mean, there’s no need to go suicidal over it.”

“Right...”

“So why aren’t you in high school? You should be in your senior year like me,” he said.

“I don’t think I’ll really need it,” I shrugged.

“Everyone should go to school,” he snapped. “You’re lucky you have the option to go to school. I was planning on becoming a doctor, and now I have no chance of achieving that goal. But you...you have the privilege of going to school. Why aren’t you taking it?”

“I’ll tell you in two years,” I mumbled. . Why do I always let things like that slip out?

“Why...?” he asked.

“Umm... we’ll be a lot closer by that time,” I said nervously. “I don’t really feel comfortable talking about that topic right now.”

“Oh, okay then,” he said, raising his brow. “So, what else do you want to ask me?”

“I don’t know actually,” I replied. “I mean, I had all of these questions prepared, and now I can’t seem to remember.”

“Why not? I was prepared with answers,” he chuckled. I looked up and finally saw that smile that I was waiting for.

“You smiled,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, and?” he replied. “You’ve seen it before.”

“Not today,” I added. “It’s a really nice smile – you should show it more often. I’m sure a lot of people would agree that it’s a really cheerful smile.”

“I don’t live to please others,” he snapped. “If people want a show, they should just go see a movie.”

“See, this is what I don’t understand about you,” I frowned.

“What?”

“You seem so nice for a few seconds, and then all of a sudden, you start acting like a total jackass who hates people,” I explained.

“Look, I know that you’re okay with not going to school, so you might not understand the position I’m coming from,” he began, “but not being able to go to school and trying to provide for your family is hard. I didn’t choose this kind of life. Yes, I learned to accept my life, but sometimes, all of this pressure to get by and almost be entirely responsible for your self is difficult, and your emotions start to go on a crazy roller coaster.”

“You can’t find a way to somehow control it, and show more of your kinder side?” I asked.

“It’s not that easy,” he replied. “Well for me, it isn’t. I wouldn’t consider it an illness or anything like that. It’s just...the way you’re brought up, and the things you live around can sometimes affect who you are as a person. To be honest, I was never really like this – I was just an average kid with big dreams. And now look at me... I could very well be a charity case, or a poster child for a donation centre.”

“Don’t say that...” I was starting to feel really bad. I didn’t really mean for all of this information to come out, and I didn’t think it would be this personal. To think that his reason for not going to school could be so different from mine...It made me feel stupid.

“Often times I wish I were as lucky as some of my other friends, like Joon,” he sighed. “But I know that that wish is far from being granted.”

“Stop...”

“I tend to feel like an outsider, no matter how big of a smile I try to put on,” he added.

“Stop...please...”

“You don’t understand how many times I’ve wanted to kill myse-”

“STOP, PLEASE!” I yelled, covering my ears. I lowered my head and took in a deep breath. I could feel my fingers shaking, and my heart was beating fast. It was weird. I mean, the thought of killing one’s self wasn’t a new topic to me, but his story somehow got to me.

I felt a pair of hands rubbing my back.

“Hyosung, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I-I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, it’s fine,” I mumbled. “I...shouldn’t have asked you about this stuff. I didn’t think it would get to this point.”

“Really though, I’m far past that state of wanting to kill myself,” he replied. “I’ve learned to look past that – I’m a stronger person now. Please, don’t be scared.”

“I’m not scared...I’m just...” I muttered. “...I don’t know.”

“It’s kind of a stupid thought, right?” he said with a quiet chuckle escaping his lips. “I mean, who would want to commit suicide? I used to think my reason was pretty logical, but then I realized how much worse life is for others, and suddenly, my reason started to seem a lot more stupid.”

“Heh...yeah...stupid...” I chuckled nervously.

“You know, today actually turned out to be pretty good,” he smiled. “I had a good rant, and I’m sure you got a lot of information out of me.”

I couldn’t get myself to respond properly – my body was still tense, and my hands were still shaking. To make matters even worse, I could see a storm coming in, and not having a heater in the abandoned building wasn’t helping my shivering problem.

“Are you okay? This is why I told you not to wear that outfit – you’re going to catch a cold,” Kikwang said.

“I-I’m fine,” I assured him.

“No, really – you look kind of pale,” he said worriedly. I felt his arms wrap around me, and I nearly jumped in my seat the moment our bodies touched. I didn’t know what was coming over me – I mean, I don’t believe in love at first sight, or love at first...meeting - if that’s what you would call it. Maybe I just wasn’t used to being in these types of situations. After all, I was never really considered attractive when I went to school. I was trying to convince myself that falling too hard and falling too fast is a bad thing, and someone like me should never get into a situation like this.

But being here...in his arms...

It felt nice.

“You really don’t have to do this,” I objected.

“I don’t want you to get sick, but I don’t have an extra jacket, so this will have to do,” he replied.

“Oh...”

“You weren’t expecting me to risk getting sick by just giving you my jacket, right?” he chuckled. “I hope you weren’t anticipating anything like that, because I’m not really a very romantic type of person.”

I begged to differ.

“No, it’s fine,” I smiled.

And that was it. We didn’t talk for the next few minutes. We were just there, waiting for the storm to end, in each other’s arms.

“Just so you know...” Kikwang began, breaking the silence. “...this isn’t a date.”

“I’m aware,” I laughed.

“Are you still cold?” he asked.

“No, you can let go now, if you want,” I replied.

“Hmm... I’m still kind of cold. I just need to stay like this for a little bit longer. It’s a lot colder than I thought it would be,” he shrugged. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” I answered.

I had a feeling this ‘friendship’ thing would be a good idea, but these feelings I’m experiencing right now made me wonder...

...how long can I keep calling this a ‘friendship’?

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yay~ i'm done my exams ^___^ and to celebrate, here was a KiSung chapter for you awesome readers :3