“We need to talk. Call me back.” Jongin tossed his phone across his bed and leaned his head against the cold glass window.

 Maybe he was overreacting about everything. Or maybe it was her fault. Yeah, he’d like to think that it wasn’t his fault that they were in this position.

 But a part of him couldn’t bring himself to be completely mad at her. After everything they’ve been through, it just didn’t seem right.

 “Jieun!” Jongin called as he waved a piece of paper in his hand. “I got accepted! I got the scholarship!”

 He pecked her on the lips and smiled brightly at her. Jieun swung back on forth on the park swing as she smiled back at him. It was a soft smile, but it didn’t seem genuine to him.

 Jongin sat on the swing next to her and wondered why she seemed out of character. “Jagi...is something wrong?”

 She shook her head and kept swinging.

 “Jagi...” he mumbled, getting more and more worried as time passed.

 Jieun sniffled and rubbed her eyes. “Neither of us have been good at expressing our feelings, right? We just kind of went with the flow of things. There was really no pressure to say or do the right things.”

 “Um...I guess not,” Jongin shrugged. “Why?”

 “That’s good...” she mumbled, “...that’s really good.”

 “Jieun, you’re acting weird today,” he frowned.Silence hung in the air above them. He couldn’t figure out how to approach things. She would always seem to move around his questions.

 “If I said we shouldn’t see each other anymore, what would you say?” she suddenly asked. Her head still hung low.

 What was he supposed to say? He tried looking through the hair that was covering her face and said, “I don’t know, what is there to say?”

 “Don’t be mad,” she mumbled. “It’s all for the best, trust me.”

 Jongin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He shook his head in frustration and said, “Well you’re going to have to give me an explanation.”

 “I’m sick, Jongin.”

 Jongin paused for a moment.

 “I-I know that... You told me you weren’t feeling well a few days ago,” he stuttered.

 “I don’t know how long the treatments will work on me...”

 “Treatments?” Jongin’s throat went dry. “For what?”

 “Leukemia.”

 Jongin shot up from the swing and ran his hand through his hair.

 “Please don’t be mad,” Jieun murmured.

 “Mad? Of course I wouldn’t be mad! The fact that you could die tomorrow doesn’t affect me at all!” he said sarcastically.

 “You don’t have to worry about me, you know,” she replied. “That’s why we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I don’t want you seeing me at my worst.”

 Jongin laughed bitterly and stared intently at her, “You’re unbelievable.”

 “I’m sorry!” she frowned. “But what am I supposed to say?”

 “Tell me you don’t love me.”

 “W-What?”

 “If you tell me you don’t love me, I’ll leave right now. You won’t have to see me again,” he replied. “It’s what you want, right? You don’t want me to be there when you need someone the most?”

 “That’s not it, Jongin. Let me explain-”

 “Goddamnit, Jieun!” he yelled. “Tell me you don’t love me!”

 “I...” Jieun choked back on her tears, “...I don’t love you.”

 Jongin nodded with bitter satisfaction and walked away. He didn’t look back; it wasn’t like he needed to. She never called him to come back. She got what she wanted.

 But something inside him told him that he shouldn’t have let the shock take over his rational thinking. Anyone could have reacted the way he did. It just so happened that he let the possibility of overreacting carry through.

 “God, I’m an idiot,” Jongin sighed. He thought about what he told her before. Of course she wanted someone to be there for her. Maybe the person she wanted or needed wasn’t him exactly, but he still needed her. And as selfish as he was, he wanted to see her for as many days as he could.

 He quickly grabbed his leather jacket and ran out. When he finally got to the hospital, he busted through the doors and rushed to the front desk.

 “Park Jieun,” he said to the receptionist. “I need to see her now.”

 “She’s in Room 305, but I think-”

 “Great, thank you,” he replied as he ran off.

 ‘I’m so sorry, Jieun.’ Jongin shook his head and blew the hair out of his eyes. All he needed at the moment was to apologize to her. He knew she would be mad at him, but he couldn’t live without her knowing that he loved her.

 He was about to run inside Jieun’s room, when her sister Jooyeon blocked the door. She looked at him and rolled her eyes.

 “Go away,” she snapped.

 “I just need to see her for a second,” he panted, trying to peek past Jooyeon and behind the curtain. “How is she feeling?”

 “I don’t think that’s any of your business anymore.”

Jooyeon folded her arms and leaned against the side of the door. Jongin didn’t understand it. He was wrong – he’d admit that – but he’s never seen Jooyeon so mad.

 And then his eyes narrowed.

 There was something off about her Jooyeon wasn’t just mad – she looked broken.

 “...Where’s Jieun?” he murmured.

 “You’re a real .” Jooyeon said bluntly. “I honestly don’t know why she loved you so much.”

 “Jooyeon please, I-”

 “Did you not hear her explain her situation to you? Or did everything just seem to go in one ear and out the other when she said she couldn’t be with you?” she said. “I don’t even know why I’m asking. Of course you never really cared about how she felt. You’re so goddamn self-centered!”

 Jongin sighed in frustration, “Please! Just let me talk to her.”

 She looked at the pleading look in his eyes and finally cracked. “Fine. You have two minutes.”

 Jongin ran past her and pushed the curtains aside. His heart suddenly felt heavy and his hands felt cold. It wasn’t the sight he expected to see.

 “Jieun...” His voice went down to a quiet breathy tone. He stared at what used to be her milky white skin, now replaced by pale dullness. She looked so fragile. He wanted to protect her more than ever before.

 He knelt down by her bedside and whispered her name again, “Jieun...”

 Her eyes flickered open as she slowly brought her hand towards his. Jongin took hold of her hand, but quickly let go when he saw her wincing in pain.

 Jieun’s lips curved slightly and her watery eyes twinkled at him.

 “I’m sorry...” she whispered. Her eyelids drooped down and she breathed heavily, “...I’m sorry for not telling you soon enough.”

 Jongin’s forced laugh couldn’t keep his heart from feeling heavy. “Yah, don’t joke around.” He took her cold, lifeless hand again and put it against his cheek.

 “Jieun-ah, don’t do this to me, please...” Jongin whimpered.

 Jooyeon peeked behind the curtain and, choking on her tears, said, “I think you should go now.”

 “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, picking himself up from the floor.

 “I’m not the one who deserves the apology,” she replied, wiping her tears with her sleeve.

 And that was it. He never even had the chance to apologize to her. He never got to tell her that he loved her. But maybe that was what Jieun wanted anyways. Maybe she didn’t want to die knowing that she had to leave someone who truly loved her. At least that’s what Jongin tried to convince himself of.

As he was about to leave the hospital, he heard Jooyeon calling out to him.

 “Jongin! I forgot to give this to you,” she said, and handed a small piece of paper to him.

 “Thanks,” he nodded. He took the paper and put it in his pocket as Jooyeon headed back inside the hospital.

 Jongin leaned against the walls of the hospital and took out the piece of paper. Upon reading it, he crumpled it, stuffed it back into his pocket, and dropped to the ground.

 Jagi,

 I’m so sorry... but I love you.