After seeing my mother again the next morning, I was finally able to go back to Kikwang’s house. I sat in the car with Joon, eager for him to start the car.

“Hyosung, before we go, I just want to make sure you won’t tell Kikwang about all of this,” Joon said. “You know, with me liking you and all. I’ll get over it soon, so everything will go back to normal.”

“I’m not forcing you to stop liking me,” I pointed out. “Wait...that sounded kind of selfish.”

“No, it didn’t,” he chuckled. “But I understand what you mean – it’ll just be harder on the both of us if I keep this up.”

All I could to do to answer him was nod as we started driving.

It didn’t take too long before we got to Kikwang’s house. When we got out of the car, Kikwang was already standing at the front door with a bouquet of roses in his hands.

“Surprise!” he smiled.

“What’s going on?” I mumbled slowly.

“I just thought we’d take a break from all the drama and go on a date,” he replied. “I took off work for today, and everything is set.”

“I never thought I’d see the day when Lee Kikwang would take off work for someone,” Joon chuckled. “Anyways, I’m going to go back home now, so I’ll see you two.”

As we bid goodbye to Joon, I took the roses from Kikwang’s hands and smiled, “You never seemed like the type to buy a girl roses.”

“And why is that?” he frowned.

“I saw you as more of a tulip kind of guy,” I laughed.

“Because I’m such a great kisser?” he grinned, pecking me on the lips. “My two lips are amazing.”

Wow...even I must admit, that was a really cheesy joke.

“No, because you’re too cheap to buy roses,” I teased.

“Yah!”

“I’m kidding,” I replied. “So, where are we going?”

“I figured we’d go for the extremely cliché date in the park,” he chuckled. He took my hand and we started walking to a park near his house. When we arrived, I was in awe – for a town with such dirty and small houses, it had a beautiful park.

“Wow...” I cooed. “How come no one is here though? The weather is gorgeous today.”

“Well, I guess most people are so busy working to pay for their rent, they have no time to hang out in the park,” he shrugged.

“Aw, that’s so sad,” I frowned.

“But it’s lucky for us, because we get the whole place to ourselves,” he grinned.

“And what exactly are we going to do with the whole park?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, sitting down by a big maple tree. “As long as there are no interruptions, I’m fine with whatever we do.”

“And by ‘interruptions,’ are you referring to Joon?” I laughed.

“Maybe,” he said, laughing along with me.

“But I mean, he’s been really helpful lately,” I said. “It’s like whenever I’m in need, he’s there to save me.”

“Save you?” he asked. “Oh, you mean like how he made that plan to let you live with me?”

“Well there’s that...” I mumbled. “...and when he saved me last night.”

“What happened last night?” he asked curiously.

I didn’t really know if I wanted to tell him about working at a club and nearly getting . But he is my boyfriend after all, right?

...But lately I’ve just been keeping so many things from him, while he’s been showing me everything about his life. It’s like he knows nothing about me. And the fact that I haven’t even told him about wanting to kill myself soon made me wonder...

Is he still going to accept me?

“Hyosung?” Kikwang said.

I shook my head and looked at him, “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.”

“If something’s bothering you, just tell me,” he replied, taking a hold of my hands.

“Do you promise not to judge me?” I asked.

“Do we need to pinky swear on it?” he laughed.

“Last night I went to look for job...” I began. “I couldn’t get one anywhere, so a guy from the bar helped me get a job at a club near your house...”

“As a bartender?” he asked. I could see the nervousness in his eyes.

“I should stop talking,” I muttered.

Kikwang placed his hands on my cheeks gently and smiled. “Hyosung-ah, just tell me.”

“I worked as a pole dancer, and-”

“You what?!” he yelled. Quickly putting his hand over his mouth, he muttered, “Sorry, keep going.”

“But I left the club as soon as guys started approaching me. I couldn’t handle it,” I said. “And as I was running off, I thought I was going to get or something, but Joon was there to save me and take me home.”

Kikwang remained silent.

“It’s pretty shameful, huh?” I mumbled.

There was still no answer.

“...K-Kikwang?” I asked nervously. “Kikwang, please answer me.”

He wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” I gasped. “For what?”

“I’m never there for you. It’s like I’m only useful for having fun, and even those times are rare. If Joon weren’t around, who knows what kinds of things would happen to you?” he replied.

I broke away from his hug and looked directly into his eyes. “I love you. I love you, okay? It’s not your fault if you’re not around at the right time, it’s just...a coincidence. Don’t think for one second that I love you any less than before.”

“I should take more days off work or something,” he sighed.

“No, you need to work to support your family, okay?” I said. “And I’ll get a job too.”

“How is this going to work, Hyosung?” Kikwang asked. “What if we hardly have any time for each other?”

“Well, we’ll have to make it work,” I said. “When you love someone, you have to make sacrifices, right?”

“I just don’t want to lose you...” he mumbled.

He didn’t want to lose me...After saying that, how am I supposed to tell him about dying now?

“Kikwang, there’s something I have to tell you-”

“Let’s just forget about all of these complications for a while,” he whispered. And with that, he leaned in to kiss me.

It wasn’t like the kisses we had recently. It wasn’t just a simple peck on the lips. It was like our first kiss – and I know it sounds so cliché, but I felt that spark that I hadn’t felt in a while.

After breaking the kiss, I leaned back on his chest and closed my eyes.

Intertwining my hand with his, he whispered, “Are you going to sleep?”

“No, I’m just taking in the moment,” I laughed. “That’s what I see couples do in movies and stuff.”

“How unoriginal of you,” he teased. “I’m shocked, Jun Hyosung, just shocked!”

“Yah,” I frowned.

“Can I tell you something pretty stupid?” he asked.

“Sure,” I shrugged.

“I actually thought that you were starting to like Joon, and he liked you back,” he chuckled. “Isn’t that hilarious?”

I looked up at him and mumbled, “What if I told you he does like me?”

“Oh...” he muttered.

“But as long as I don’t like him back, everything is fine, right?” I asked.

“I guess,” he sighed, smiling. “I mean, I don’t blame him for taking an interest in you. You are you after all.”

“Aw, I’m touched,” I laughed. “So, are we just going to lay here for a while?”

“Unless you want to do something else,” he shrugged, kissing my forehead.

“We could go grab a bite or something,” I suggested. “I haven’t eaten yet.”

“We could go get some ice cream – people always do that in romantic comedies,” he laughed.

“What’s with you and wanting to do such cliché things lately?” I teased.

“I thought I’d seem cute for trying,” he replied proudly.

I poked his forehead and laughed, “Fine. Let’s start our cliché date right now.” I got off of him and stood up. With one quick movement, Kikwang lifted me off the ground.

“Yah, what are you doing?!” I shrieked, holding onto him.

“I thought we were going on a cliché date,” he laughed. “Carrying you seemed pretty cliché and romantic. Too bad you’re heavy.”

“Yah!”

“I’m kidding,” he beamed. I rested my head on his shoulder as we walked to the ice cream parlour.

“Are we there yet?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Oh okay...Are you tired?” I asked.

“Nope.”

“Then why are your replies so short?” I chuckled.

“Because,” he panted.

“Kikwang-”

“OH MY GOSH, WE’RE HERE!” he said, heaving a sigh of relief. As he carried me through the front door, I banged my head on the side.

“OW!” I yelled, rubbing my head.

“Sorry!” Kikwang said. He put my down on my feet and took my hand as we approached the front counter. After ordering our sundaes, we took a seat at one of the tables. I looked at Kikwang, and his face still looked tired and flushed – I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yah, it’s not funny,” he pouted. “That was really tiring.”

“So now you admit it,” I grinned. “Why did you keep carrying me? I would’ve walked.”

“I didn’t want to seem weak,” he huffed.

“No offence, but you started looking weak about two blocks down,” I said, stuffing a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth.

He glared at me and hit my face with his spoon.

“Yah, there was ice cream on that!” I snapped, trying to wipe off the ice cream from my mouth.

“Wait, don’t move! I saw this in a drama. Just hold still,” he said. Placing to fingers beneath my chin, he leaned in towards me for a kiss. Backing away, he had a satisfied smile on his face.

“You didn’t even get most of it off,” I laughed, wiping the rest with a napkin.

“It’s the thought that counts,” he grinned.

I just looked at him and smirked.

“What?” he asked. He paused for a moment then sighed, “I’m trying too hard, aren’t I?”

I squinted my eyes and said, “Just a little bit.”

“Yeah, I’m not exactly very good with girls like Joon is,” he sighed.

“It’s funny – You want to be like Joon, but Joon wants to be like you,” I chuckled. “And both of you are changing for the same reason.”

“Which is what? Liking you?” he asked.

“I would assume so, yes,” I nodded.

“Geez, someone thinks very highly of their self,” he teased.

“Unless you don’t like me, then I can leave right now,” I sighed.

“No, no, no, stay,” he said quickly, putting his hand on my shoulder. I laughed at how frantic he suddenly looked.

“You seem so different from when I first met you,” I pointed out.

“I’m hoping that’s a good thing,” he replied.

“It is,” I smiled. “You’re not a total jackass.”

“Yah, you were pretty cold before too,” he said. “But I think I got to you.”

“Not entirely,” I laughed.

“What part am I missing?” he frowned.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged playfully.

“What, are you secretly experiencing depression or having suicidal thoughts?” he chuckled.

I immediately tensed up. It’s like whenever he mentions something like that, I keep thinking about what would happen when I tell him. But I didn’t want all these thoughts ruining the time I would have left – I just wanted to live life like there was no tomorrow.

“Hey...how do you feel about living in the moment?” I asked.

“It’s nice, but with the situation my family’s in, you kind of have to remember to consider how things could affect you in the future,” he explained.

“That’s the thing though,” I said. “Don’t you think life seems pointless once you’re tied down to work, or have to spend the rest of your life in a nursing home?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked, raising a brow.

I shook my head and sighed, “Never mind. We should head back home. I’m getting kind of tired.”

“Um, okay,” he nodded.

When we arrived back at Kikwang’s house, I ran to our room and jumped onto the bed.

“Ah, it’s so comfy,” I sighed happily.

“You’re such a child,” he chuckled.

“Hey, can you get my phone in that drawer over there?” I asked.

“Yah, so lazy,” he grunted, heading towards the drawer. Once he opened it, he took out a piece of paper and cocked his head, “Hey, I remember seeing this ‘to-do’ list!”

“WHAT?!” I yelled, running over to him.

He held the paper high enough so that I couldn’t reach, and began reading it out loud.

“I want to go bungee jumping, I want to visit Paris, I want to learn the African clicking language...”

“Stop reading!” I whined, reaching for the paper.

“I want to lose my ity...This is getting interesting,” he chuckled. “What is this?”

“Nothing, just give it back,” I snapped.

Upon reaching the last number on the list, he looked at me and read it aloud with wide eyes.

“I want to die...”

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kinda late in changing this to Rated H but I just realized I used a lot of swear words and scenes at bars/clubs LOL I just hope you can all still read it even if you're required to be :O (I'm actually younger, so shhh :P)

I originally wasn't going to include all the stuff before the end of this chapter, but I didn't realize people were upset about the lack of Kisung moments :\ Hopefully this chapter was okay for you all..?

I'm going to take a break now, my head hurts and I'm cramping like a biotch LOL -facepalm-

Thanks for sticking with me everyone!

- Liana