Chapter 17
A Back Talker's Secret
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Chapter 17
Yunho was first to wake up, the sun pierced through the window as it shined upon the two. Looking down he saw the beauty huddled up next to him, arms around his waist as his own arm was under the boy's head.
He slowly moved his arm, careful not to wake the injured teen, before massaging his numb limb.
They spent the night in each others arms. Yunho giggled, his chest tingling with happiness. He tugged at his shirt as it clung to his skin; his body hotter than usual.
"Good morning," A sweet voice drifted through the room.
The heat travelled south as Yunho's eyes set their sight on the awoken beauty. The way his disheveled hair flopped to one side, his half lidded eyes staring back at him, how his mouth hung open to catch the cool morning air. With a gulp Yunho panicked and dashed to the bathroom, taking a few minutes to fix his 'problem.'
'No Yunho! You can't feel this way! You can't let yourself be tempted! You don't want a repeat of last time! You can't hurt him again!' He scolded himself, continuously smacking his head with a palm as he exited the bathroom.
"What happened? You feeling ok?" The boy on the bed hopped off carefully, walking over to Yunho and putting a hand on the teen's forehead to stop the assault.
"Yeah, it's nothing. Y-you waited for me?"
"Of course. I couldn't go back to sleep after you ran out on me all of a sudden. Plus I just woke up so I'm not that tired," Jaejoong mumbled the last part quietly.
Yunho sighed with a smile. He couldn't let himself get put into any more positions where he could possibly hurt the boy. He wouldn't allow himself to do it! Not again.
"I'm gonna go make breakfast," Jaejoong suggested as he got up with a soft groan.
"No!" Yunho stopped him. "I'll go," He quickly said, running out of the room and down the stairs as fast as he could.
Jaejoong pouted with furrowed brows as he slowly followed.
His eyes widened in awe as he was back in the kitchen. Even though he saw it yesterday, all the shiny and new appliances-- not to mention how big the room was--it didn't fail to amaze him each time he saw it.
"It's so cool that you have all the latest cooking ware and appliances. Woah! That one hasn't even come out in stores yet! How did you get it?!" Jaejoong ran over to the half blender-half whisker machine.
"Don't underestimate a rich family and influential parents." Yunho laughed.
Jaejoong smiled before he looked over to Yunho, a smug smirk on his face.
"I didn't know you could cook." He walked over, wrapping his hands around Yunho's waist.
"I-I can. Just not that well." Yunho could feel sweat forming on his forehead as he slightly trembled in Jaejoong's hold, the boy's ministrations becoming too much for him.
"Here, let me help you." Jaejoong placed his hand over Yunho's as he controlled the teen's movements on whisking the egg yolks.
It was good for a few seconds before Yunho's hand convulsed and he harshly threw the whisk to the side, knocking over the egg filled bowl as well. Jaejoong jumped back in surprise.
"Sorry." Yunho bent down to clean it up, refusing to look in Jaejoong's direction.
"Are you ok Yunho? You're acting strange." Jaejoong bent down as well as he wiped at the floor with a paper towel, their hands meeting for a split second before Yunho shot up.
"I'm fine.. Just... I just need some air." He retreated out of the room, not throwing a second glance at the boy.
Jaejoong sighed as he followed once again.
The cold air was first to hit him before the smell of lilacs followed. The garden was beautiful.
"Did I do something last night?" Jaejoong asked, trying to remember the spotty scenes from yesterday. He only remembered hitting Yunho twice before it began to fade. Blank spaces in his memory irritated him as he tried to fit it all together like a complicated puzzle. "I can't remember. If I did something you didn't like I'm sorry. Could you please tell me?"
"You didn't do anything wrong," Yunho reassured him, glancing at the boy quickly before looking back at the relaxing view in front of him. "It's me.. Or what I will do."
"What are you talking about?" Jaejoong walked toward him, a hand stretched out to lend a comforting touch.
"I don't want to hurt you." Yunho immediately retracted as soon as he saw the boy advance. "Not again."
"Hurt me? You won't," Jaejoong said in complete belief. "I trust you won't."
"But I don't trust myself."
"But yesterday--"
"You can't even remember yesterday. How could you even remember me caring about you even after you hit me? How are you sure you didn't make that up?"
"Did I make it up Yunho?" He looked straight into the teen's eyes. "I mean I never said anything about that. Just the word yesterday and you said that all on your own." Yunho gulped. "But you were there, at least you would remember."
Yunho looked down with a sigh. "No. You're right."
Jaejoong smiled. "If you could care for me even if you yourself were in pain, then you can have enough strength to stop yourself from hurting me."
"But I almost you! I-I went too far!"
"But you didn't! You stopped yourself!"
"But I almost did! If I didn't see your face and realize.." Yunho looked down once more, a tear escaping his eye. "I might've.."
"But now you do realize. And now you know not to do it again."
"But what if I can't help myself? I don't want my emotions to overpower me again."
"Then I'll be there to help."
"How can you help if i'm the one that could be attacking you." Yunho laughed mockingly.
"I'm stronger than you think Yunho."
"Really?" Yunho scoffed. "Then where was this strength when you were getting beat up?"
Jaejoong's face immediately turned pale, his smile gone in an instant.
"I'm sorry," Yunho noticed and quickly apologized, realizing that it's still too soon to make a joke out of it.
"That's ok," Jaejoong replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "But it's not exactly easy when it's four against one, especially when they surprise you when you're not paying attention." Jaejoong looked up at him. "You won't attack me with three other guys would you?"
Yunho looked at him as if he had just been betrayed. "Never!" He shot back instantly. "I would never do that!"
"Why?"
"Because what those kids did was disgusting! Because you don't deserve it! Because... Because hurting you is unforgivable."
"And you can't forgive yourself because you believe you hurt me?"
"I know I hurt you Jae."
"But that's the thing." Jaejoong laughed. "I'm strong enough to rise above it. I was strong enough to not be affected by it. I'm not letting what others think hurt me."
"But you were hurt."
"Physically. But you are hurt emotionally. Which is even worse."
"How is that worse?! You could die from your injuries!"
"So could you! Those who are affected mentally could harm themselves! They would be so affected that they wouldn't be able to live with themselves. Hating their own being. Hating their own existence. They would be strong physically but they would be so weak emotionally and mentally that they think the safest way to protect themselves is by hurting themself. The bullies wouldn't be the cause of their downfall. It would be themself.” Jaejoong sighed. “They could take their own life."
Yunho didn't respond as he thought through Jae's words.
"I was able to rise above it because of my friend's constant worries and attempts to help. I was able to realize just how stupid I was to even let those bullies get to me.” Jaejoong paused as he brought a hand up to caress Yunho’s cheek, looking deep into his eyes with utmost sincerity. “I couldn't do it alone, and I want to help you too. They are affecting both of us and we need to stay strong to get through this together."
The sinking feeling in Yunho’s chest subsided as he reached up to meet Jaejoong’s hand on his cheek, their fingers intertwined before a warm smile arose on the beauty’s face.
Together.
The thought both elated and terrified Yunho. It would be great to accomplish things with the one you love by your side every step of the way; that would surely make every moment of trials and pain worth it. But it’s just the two of them, what can two people against an entire society and high school teens do?
With the long silence from the teen, Jaejoong couldn’t help but let out another sigh. "I don't know what else to do Yunho.” He pulled his hand away, looking at the ground, to disappointed to look at the other. “If you can't do this, if you can't accept my help then... We can't be a couple."
After all, you can’t have a relationship if only one person is trying.
"I can't."
Jaejoong sighed with a sad shake of his head as he turned to walk away, about to give up before a hand stopped him. Yunho's grip on his hand slowly tightened, not aggressively but lovingly, almost protective, not letting him get farther.
"I can't lose you," Yunho finished. Jaejoong felt his eyes line with tears of relief as he realized what Yunho was saying.
"I will try my hardest, harder than anything I've ever done before because I can't afford to lose you. And because.... It's you."
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Yoochun walked through the halls, searching for Jaejoong. He had just finished first period and wanted to spend his given five minutes to get to the next class on finding Jaejoong instead. He pushed and squeezed through the massive crowd of students in the hall as they crowded around lockers, meeting friends.
'Where could he be?' Yoochun could feel his heart pumping in fear at the thought of Jaejoong in trouble once again.
He caught sight of spiky hair as it weaved through the crowd, sparking a familiar sense in Yoochun. As the black hair got closer, Yoochun couldn't help the widening of his eyes as he finally recognized the person that made it out of the crowd of students.
"Junsu!" He called out, catching the boy's attention with big eyes before he quickly turned and ran in the other direction.
Yoochun didn't think before he followed right after.
"Junsu! Hey! Where are you going?! Junsu!" He called again and again but the boy wouldn't stop. Yoochun slowed his steps as the boy kept getting farther and farther, his frame becoming smaller each second, he couldn't catch up.
The bell rang and students rushed through the halls bumping into each other like cockroaches exposed to light as they went their separate ways.
He didn't see either of his friends the entire day. And it was the same the next.
"What is going on?" He sighed as his days grew long and tiring--not to mention lonely. There was no one to talk to besides classmates and even then they would only talk about homework, the others would have irritating comments about Jaejoong and Yunho. But what really bothered him was the fact that both of them were missing. Not a word from either about where they were. Could they be out together? Were they skipping?
He grew skeptical as more worries plagued his mind, each thought worse than the last. Did he kidnap him? Kill him then run away so not to be caught? Is he hiding Jaejoong's body?! Yoochun imagined the worst possible outcomes before he forced himself to realize that it couldn't be possible. Yunho wasn't that kind of person right?
'.'
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After eating, the two spent their day in the tending to the garden rather than sitting inside all day. Yunho informed Jaejoong about the differ
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