--Warning! Unbetaed!

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Chapter 13

Yunho darted from the classroom as quickly as possible, entering the hallway. He looked left and right seeing both corridors empty. A small feeling of relief washed over him when he saw no one in the halls before he quickly made his way down, not caring where he was going, as long as it was away from that place. His pace grew quicker the farther he went, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t move fast enough. His movements halted abruptly and he immediately crouched to the floor, not able to continue.

His hands found their way to his face as he harshly rubbed them up and down, dragging the skin with them. A muffled groan escaped his lips as tears lined his eyes. He dragged his hands up and through his scalp, pulling at his hair to relieve the pain that didn’t want to go away. No matter how much physical pain he tried to cause himself, the emotional pain wouldn’t stray. He couldn’t focus on anything else. It lingered like a disease. A plague, slowly rotting him from the inside out. 

“Why!” He shouted, taking advantage of the empty halls.

“Why did I do that?” Another groan came about. 

“I was just jealous… but… urghhh!! Why did he have to be so clingy to him?!” He screamed in irritation.

“Siwon is a bastard! Why can’t he see that?!” Yunho stood up and immediately kicked the wall next to him in rage, wincing a little at the pain that shot up his leg, causing another groan to leave his lips before he was once again crouched down.

His face was covered yet again and he took a slow, deep breath as he tried to calm himself. He needed to find a distraction. And soon enough he was back on his feet and walking towards the cafeteria.

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Jaejoong hadn't moved from his spot. His breathing had not calmed and a burning pain still lingered in his chest. He could feel the sticky wetness of the tears on his cheeks as they slowly dried before a fresh new layer coated them again. He was trembling. He was sure he looked like crap right now. His hair a mess, his clothes out of place, and face red and covered in snot and tears. Only another thing to help add to his insecurity.

Without beauty you're nothing. The disturbing thought would always harbor deep inside. Eventually Jaejoong would always have to tell himself that its not true, but the few moments before that would instill in him a paranoid terror. 

He had to believe in the so called truth that people would like you for what is on the inside and that if you are nice to people then they will be nice back. 

'its a LIE! A myth!' He screamed in his head as he pulled at his strands. 

He finally realized it now. He had been living in his own fantasy world, where a knight in shining armor would come to his rescue and take all his problems away, but did that happen? No. He was almost ! And by the person he idolized. The person he loved. The person who he thought was the one. 

'Its all a lie. Everything. What you look like does matter. The popular kids in school are always the good looking ones. No one pays attention to the nicer students that hid behind glasses and oversized sweaters.' He would know since he used to do that all the time. He and his friends used to joke about how he looked like a turtle whenever he would shrug his shoulders and pull the sleeves past his knuckles. However, he liked the feeling. It gave him a sense of warmth, security, and comfort. As if he could actually hide, like a turtle, and be safe in his big sweater. 

The one year he actually tried to look good, he almost got ! Jaejoong couldn’t believe he didn’t even realize that he doesn’t know anything about him! Yunho only was interested in him because of his looks. He didn't like Jaejoong that way, he just wanted his body. A hole to satisfy him is all that he wants. That’s what every guy wants. Even Yunho. Jaejoong couldn’t believe he was naive enough to think he actually had a chance with Yunho. To actually have a real relationship with him. He didn't want Yunho to keep doing this. He was afraid. He had caused something to spark in Yunho that wasn't there before. He was acting so much differently than the Yunho he grew to love. Each time he interacted with him now, the consequences became worse. 

It all started with that confession!

The sound of the bell that signalled the end of lunch rang. Alerting Jaejoong that class was about to start. He hesitated, not sure if he should go or not. What if he ran into Yunho in the halls on the way there? How could he face his friends after this? How could he face anyone after this? He felt Pathetic. He grabbed his shirt as put it back on, the clothes now loose from the constant tugging and pulling. He slowly got off the desk, making a creaking sound as the table shifted on the floor. A sudden pain in his knee arose once again before he shifted his weight onto the other. The pain recharged his memory of the nurse, and more importantly, the beds. Students have gone to the nurse before just because they were tired and were allowed to sleep in the beds. Most used it to skip a class or test but Jaejoong figured it would be the best way to both rest, and get away from everyone. Hit two birds with one stone. 

He waited for the second bell to ring, meaning that everyone should already be in their classes before he opened the door and slowly made his way to the sterile room. 

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The clanking of plates and trays resounded throughout the dining hall accompanied by the laughs and conversations of the students. 
Scanning the place for Changmin, his eyes lit up when he saw the boy's hunched back tearing through the food on his plate. He quickly made his way over and plopped his body onto the seat next to him, his arm around the boy's shoulder. The boy flinched a little on contact but still continued to eat. A smile of relief adorned his face as he watched the boy chow down, he was an animal. A cough took his attention from the uncaring boy and he turned his head to the three in front of him. A hateful frown gladly took its home on his face once again.

"What are you three doing here?" Yunho sneered, watching Siwon intently, their gazes locked. 

"Sitting with our new friend of course." Siwon replied.

 "Why? Do you have a problem with that?" Yoochun added with a sneer.

Yunho looked over at Changmin in rage, his hands. The hungry boy stopped chewing and gave him a stern look that said "i'll tell you later." 

With a of his head and twitch of his lip, he eased his grip and took a deep breath, calming himself before speaking. 

"Of course not. Any friend of Changmin's is a friend of mine."

Yoochun scoffed loudly to the side. Yunho ignored it with another deep breath.

"So how are you all doing? Is your day as lovely as I hoped it would be?"

"Cut the crap Yunho, you don't have to keep pretending that you like us."

"I don't know what you are talking about Yoochun." Yunho said through gritted teeth, trying hard not to cause a scene.

"Whatever." Yoochun rolled his eyes.

After a few awkward minutes of silence and occasional coughs to break the tension Yunho stood up.

"Well i'm obviously not wanted here so i'm just gonna head out."

"You go do that." Yoochun forced a smile. With a roll of his eyes Yunho turned around, not before bidding goodbye to Changmin and sending a murderous glare towards his rival who just raised a smug eyebrow at him.

The moment he walked out the swinging doors, the noise muted and all there was in front of him was a quiet empty hallway. Looking at the clock on the wall, he saw that he still had half an hour left before the next class would start. He continued down the hallway, memories bombarding him along the way. 

He remembered watching the clock near the end of every period. He remembered the hardest way to see Jaejoong which was after fourth period, he had Science while Jaejoong had Math. He remembered getting jitters as the second hand ticked, getting closer to the end of class. He was always first to shoot out of the classroom and dart across the hall to his locker where he knew Jaejoong would pass right before his class. He always had to fan himself to dry off his sweat and take slow breaths to regulate his breathing and stop his panting. 

Whenever he saw Jaejoong walk out of the door and into the hall, his heart fluttered and he felt his cheeks warm up. Jaejoong always seemed to look his way each time and every time Yunho would erase his awkward smile and replace it with a cool demeanor, giving him a notch of his head in acknowledgement. He loved the way it made Jaejoong's cheeks turn a cute shade of pink each time before the boy responded with a notch of his head too. Yunho smiled, playing it cool as he leaned against someone's locker, watching the boy pass. He even remembered the awkward moment when the owner of said locker kept trying to get Yunho's attention so he could move out of the way and get his belongings out of the metal box. The student eventually got used to Yunho's ministrations and watched Jaejoong pass along with Yunho before he let Yunho move.

Yunho chuckled at the thought.

He continued through the school, walking up the stairs into the language hall. He smiled as he passed his french class. This attempt to see him was easier since he had French second period while Jaejoong had French third. All he had to do was wait outside the door or be the last one to leave and see him walk in the classroom to get seated. Whenever he waited outside the door he got to see Jaejoong already at the top of the stairs, his face flushed and panting as he gripped onto the railings to keep him up. The history hallway was on the bottom floor while the language hallway was on the third. He was always early to class. Sometimes Yunho would 'casually' pass by Jaejoong on his way down and help him carry his bookbag up the stairs to be polite of course. Oh who was he kidding, he loved it when their hands brushed as he handed him back his bookbag each time.

Those were the days. 

What happened?

Yunho walked continued his walk through the halls, reminiscing about his favorite times with the beauty, and the bad. He hated how the one hallway where Jaejoong confessed brought feelings of guilt and despair, making him want to vomit. 

He didn't want to hurt him again. The classroom incident bombarded his mind as he remember what he did to the poor boy only earlier today. 

The thought caused a stinging sensation in the back of his eyes as he felt something wet trail down his face. This time the gagging feeling was stronger and he had to run over to the nearest trashcan where he emptied all the contents of his stomach. How could he do that to him? How could he lose control? Yoochun was right; Jaejoong did nothing but like Yunho. He didn't deserve what Yunho did to him. Yunho bit his lip realizing that he was the cause for all of Jaejoong's troubles. He didn't want to cause the boy anymore grief. 

Last time he gave up trying to win Jaejoong over because he didn't feel like he had the chance, until Changmin smacked some sense into him. Now he knows that he has more chance than anybody else. But he has to give him up, not for his own sake, but for Jaejoong's. 

This time he isn't going to give up trying.

He's going to give up Jaejoong.

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For the entire day, no matter how hard Yoochun looked, he couldn't find Jaejoong. Worry settled in his heart and he felt as if he had been sweating the entire day. His rapid heart beat never relenting. 

The ending bell rang and everyone rushed out of the classroom. Yoochun gathered up his belongings and stuffed them into his backpack as fast as he could, it would give him more time to search for the boy.

He had tried calling and texting between classes but the boy never responded, no matter how many times he tried. 

'Come on Jae.' He wanted to have faith in the boy to respond, but recently things have become unpredictable. 

He weaved through the crowd, popping his head up to see if he could spot the raven haired student but to no avail. A small part of him wanted to believe that he went home already and was safe, but he was scared to believe it. What if something bad really happened like the incident on their first day of school?

"Jaejoong!" A high pitched scream tore through the loud conversations of students. Yoochun's head turned to the direction of the sound instantly before he shoved through the students and was greeted by the sight of his two best friends hugging.

Relief washed over him as he let out a breath. Making his way over, he joined in on the hug without a word, squeezing the two in his giant embrace. 

"I'm so glad you are ok!" Yoochun exclaimed louder than he meant to, his hands roamed Jaejoong’s body to check for any injuries. His shirt seemed baggier than usual, but he reasoned that it could be a new fashion style the other was following. "Where were you? Do you know how m