He never understands me.

“Jiyongie, I made you lunch!”

He never cares for me.

“I’m busy, Dara.”

He never thinks of me.

“But… I even woke up earlier for this…”

He never appreciates me.

“I’m really sorry, I have to practice. Band competition is near.”

Why the hell did I fall in love with him?

“Ji…” Tears were flowing from my eyes yet I only got the view of his walking back that was slowly walking away from me.

We have been together for about 3 months. I fell for him because he helped me once when I was troubled with books that Teacher Yang told me to bring. I was a loner that time and I got seriously no friend, but he was there to help me.

I confessed my love to him right after school and he said yes to my question. I was so happy and it was like my heart and brain were exploding.

But as time passes, his sweetness rusted, and I began to question myself. Does he really feel the same exact way as me?

It’s always me who call him first, it’s always me who ask him for a date, it’s always me who say the three important words, it’s always me who sacrifice and suffer.

**

“Ji, what’s your favorite food?”

“Later Dara, I have practice session in 2 minutes.”

“But…”

“See you later.”

I sighed. I was rejected again.

“Dara!!!” A loud male voice shouted from afar.

“Oh, Donghae?”

“Aigoo, what’s with the long face?” The bright guy grinned.

I looked down to my feet. What can I say?

“It’s that Jiyong again, isn’t it?”

“Hae…”

“Break up with him, Dara. I beg you. You’re suffering!”

I looked down again. I can’t, I love him and I don’t even know why.

“You deserves someone better than him…”

I kept my silence and closed my eyes tight.

“You’re hurting and he doesn’t even care.”

No, you don’t understand.

“Please Dara…” He shook me. I know when he uses ‘please’ in his words, it means that he’s really serious. “At least break it up with him, for your own happiness.”

“Mianhae, Donghae.” With that, I left him alone.

I can’t leave Jiyong. I’m not ready. I know that I’m stupid for keep loving him, but my heart won’t listen to what my brain thinks. I don’t even know why my heart keeps loyal to him.

I didn’t have any other choice than going home. I walked, kicking some trash in my way, and my focus was down to my feet. Then I came across a small cafe and decided to drop by for a coffee or two.

“One Caramel Latte, please.” I said to the cashier girl and paid before going to my seat.

My eyes widened when I saw a group of boys with familiar school uniform entered and claimed a table that I guess is luckily far from mine.

“What do guys want? My treat.” The loud one with big eye-bags said. He looked like he hasn’t slept for centuries.

I couldn’t catch what they want but the next thing I know, my latte was arrived, which few minutes later, came their orders.

I could hear their chitchats but I didn’t hear it clearly. But I didn’t focus on that. I’m currently observing why Jiyong looks so down while his friends are all noisy?

Just when I was about to go home, I heard a loud voice came from Jiyong’s table.

“You guys know I don’t want to get near Dara anymore.”

That’s it, I've heard it really clear. I went out from the cafe and held my tears up without them to notice.

I cried inside my bedroom for who knows how long. My brother and my parents comforted me, but no use. I really feel like I lost it all. Why? I gave you my all but this is your return favor? I really lost it all.

I called Donghae and told him all. He listened to all my stories and my cries. He’s really