"I was tired of all this..."

He couldn't describe the pain those words had brought him. For so many years , he had believed he made Hankyung happy, he was told that many times but then he realized he was mistaken..was he dreaming? A really bad dream? but that empty feeling was real. Heechul knew it was reality, Hankyung actually felt that way.

He wanted to run away. Away from the pain, away from this reality and hide in his shell where he could assume everything was just fine that he was fine, with his Hannie.

But this was not his Hannie, was he? Hannie would never say something like this to him. He wanted to shout and cry..he wanted his Hannie back...but no, he couldn't be this stupid and weak. Was it ok to cry in front of the man who shattered his heart this brutally?

He remembered the turmoil roaring through his heart ,anger and sorrow taking their turns to push him into a dark abyss of pain...blinding pain..but was that it? The source of pain? Was it only his bleeding heart?

Heechul was not sure, what he was sure of though, that he wanted out of this engulfing darkness. He had been wandering in it for so long now, thinking how exactly he reached here and...whom should he call for help? Hankyung? but he was tired of him so he wouldn't come would he?

Then...Leeteuk, his hyung? But he already had made clear that he didn't want anything to do with him anymore...

So now, was he alone ?and nobody coming for him ? Was there no way out?

His feet moved directionless, his brain blank ,save that sinking feeling in his heart, when suddenly blinding light source abused his eyes, followed by screeching breaks.

"H...Haannie.."he screamed, covering his ears.

Panic settling fast in his body his only thought of was to protect...

Yes, protect Hankyung...from the impact because there was no seatbelt. Suddenly it all came to him, that evening...minitruck and that crash..his last memory was that touch, in that frantic situation as well ,he was thankful of that contact, that feeling...before he was pulled into world of endless darkness and pain.

But what about Hankyung was he safe? Were his efforts enough or...

Heechul woke up with a start. His only thought was Hankyung. He wanted to know if other was alright.He needed to know, right then.

That is why he didn't like when unknown faces surrounded him and tried to grab him, telling him to calm down.He didn't want to calm down; he wanted to know about Hankyung's state.

"Where is he? I..I want to see him."He demanded, fighting those unwanted grips.But all he got was more constraining, which only made him to struggle more, his voice became frantic as seconds passed.

"No..no don't..no..why won't you tell me where he is?"He shouted, ready to put on more force when he heard it.

Only a whisper, but it was his voice.

"Heechul..."

He stopped his struggle, his mind going erratic with all emotions. He debated with himself to raise his gaze and take a look at the direction of the voice. There was some hesitation before his eyes moved , resting on one figure in front of him...

It was him, Standing in front of him, unhurt and safe. It was Hankyung indeed.

Heechul exhaled, a relieved sense was calming his body instantly. He didn't move his gaze when the doctor rushed to him. It felt too long since he had seen other, too long since he had heard that voice...

****

Hankyung thought it would kill him. The sudden silence, the steady gaze on him  was filled with so many questions. The fact that Heechul was finally awake; there was something in those feline eyes staring at him which was all too familiar, which relieved him instantly. So familiar, that he just knew...

Heechul,had come back...he was here.

He wanted to dance and go crazy, but first he wanted to confirm. He nervously moved closer to other not breaking the eye contact even for a second. Heechul didn't move or say anything. He just sat there as doctor's checked him, his eyes still clouded with confusion and hesitance.  Hankyung thought about the things he would say, surprised that he even had to actually think about it and unhappy that he just couldn’t go and hug Heechul. Because the realization and Heechul's silence had brought that awkwardness and fear, the fear of rejection.

He opened his mouth to say something but before he could do or say anything,

"H...Hee?"Someone called from behind, making Heechul move