hotpinkskittle

Story link

Review by Milo

Title [10/10]

It’s odd and not many people know what a Luna is, but your title is also memorable and relates to your story! Unique.

Appearance [10/10]

You used a lot of images (the shots of EXO, your header with your title, and the graphic toward the bottom next to your summary) and it’s all very neat.

Description and foreword [8/10]

You have everything there it’s just not exactly in the right spot. The description is where you put your plot summary, and the foreword is usually used as a teaser, some sort of lead-in to the story that gets your readers interested! So the exchange between Sehun and Chen would go under Foreword, and everything else would stay under Description. But, overall, you had all the information you needed and it was well-written.

Characters [10/10]

So far you are consistent and show a lot of character through dialogue.

Plot [35/40]

The plot that you’ve outlined is not exactly cliché but has been done before. That being said, it’s also a strong plot with a lot of room for character development and expansion. With this first chapter you’re able to draw people in, I think, because you hint at so many things to come (like fights and romantic tension and defiant little Sehun listening to his heart) and it builds a lot of excitement for readers who are especially interested in those things. So far, so good.

Grammar and spelling [9/10]

Your sentences are varied nicely, use shorter paragraphs to your advantage, and have basically no grammar errors (especially in the way of punctuation, I can’t pick out any).
• “She didn’t need to told twice” missing a “be”, no big deal.
• “EXO-K worried surrounded hr” again, all you’re missing is an "e".
My only suggestion, seeing as how your only mistakes are practically irrelevant, is to more closely read over and edit your first draft to catch these small mistakes!

Overall enjoyment [10/10]

I liked it! Besides the fact that it reminded me vaguely of the Warrior Cat series (just with wolves) mixed with Teen wolf (which I am in love with), you also have a very solid foundation here to build up not only a great story, but also yourself as a writer! Good luck!! : )