Chapter 14: Moonless Night

As what was agreed before, Luna would be returning to Shinee’s dorm once their done promoting their album. But their managers decided to let her stay with Shinee again even if their promotion is not yet done. She was alone in her dorm getting ready moving back to Shinee’s dorm, the other girls had left early for their schedules and she’s just waiting for their manager to drive her to Shinee’s dorm. She already had a tuna sandwich and banana for lunch. She the radio and heard EXO’s Growl song being played. She was happy that the group had been getting a lot of attention for this song they did work hard for it.

She got a message from her manager that he’d pick her up 2 hours later which means that she can still take a nap. She went to her room which was now clean and tidy she looked at her bed and saw the batch of toys neatly arranged. Even though she has more than ten of them she would know when one is missing. And currently she’s missing Mr. Pig Taemin still had not returned the toy and may not be planning on returning it. She didn’t dare to call Taemin about it not wanting another confrontation about Kai. Believe it or not she had liked Kai before. When Taemin got busy with Shinee she was left to practice with other trainees and Kai was always there to help her. She relied on him, asked and valued his opinions and enjoyed his company. She even thought that they could have been a couple before, but Kai did not feel the same. She could still remember the day she had told him about her feelings and somehow even though it has been years ago it now brings tears to her eyes. The memory of what could have been her first love.

-

Sunyoung was waiting for Jongin for about an hour now. He told her to go to the rooftop but called her to not come anymore and said that he’d meet her in fire exit on the second floor instead. She was so excited when he had told her that they’d meet up, she was actually waiting for this moment. They had come to a mutual understanding and even though it is forbidden for trainees to date she thinks that they’d been actually dating each other not officially though but Sunyoung is sure that he feels the same too. They’d go on walks during weekends and even watch movies if they have money to spare. They’d often talk on the phone before turning in to sleep. Jongin even went to her school so he could walk with her to SM for their practice. She’d met other trainees but she’s more comfortable being with Jongin. She had some doubts at the beginning because Jongin is not really that good in expressing himself but after that kiss she knew that he likes her too.

She could still remember the feel of his lips, her first kiss was soft, a bit sloppy but definitely sweet and a memory she would keep for a lifetime. They were practicing that afternoon not dancing but singing. Jongin had asked for her help and she gladly accepted. So when they’re not dancing they practice their vocals. They were in a park near her school it was past 5 so it was almost deserted. They pretended that they were singing in front of an audience and she’d use a brush as her microphone while Jongin was using a bottle. Jongin had requested for a duet and they sang harmoniously, with Jongin following the feel of the song just right.

As the song progressed Jongin also came closer to her until they were standing close to each other, skin touching skin while their eyes are glued to each other.

“Why’d you stop?” Sunyoung had asked him but he didn’t answer he took the brush from her hands and let go of the bottle he was holding. He held her waist and slowly leaned in, she knew what he was going to do and before his lips touched hers she had already closed her eyes. She knew her feelings had turned into something more, she secretly liked him even before they got close.

They slowly parted after the kiss and she smiled at him he in turn shyly returned the smile and reached for her hand. Then it started to rain so they had run to take cover they were wet and cold but the hand holding hers stayed warm. Whenever they’re eyes met they’d end up smiling and he’d squeezed her hand. He got a call from one of the trainees and he had to go back to SM so she took the bus home but he told her he’d call her that night. She patiently waited for the call that night, he told her he already misses her and said that he has something to tell her.

So here she is waiting for him to show up. She took out a small mirror from her bag to check how she looks. She should be pretty when he finally confesses to her.

The door opens and the wait is finally over. She greeted him with a smile but he only looked at her.

“Hi…” she said.

“Hey,” he returned and looked away from her.

“Uhm did something happen?” she asked worried at how sad he looks this is not actually what she was expecting. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Sunyoung listen I need to tell you something.”

“I need to tell you something too.”

“These past few days with you were really fun,” he started. “I’m glad we got to know each other.”

“Yeah me too –” but he cut her off.

“I want to say thank you for being my friend and I want us to continue as being friends.”

“What?”

“I want you to be my friend.”

“But Jongin I thought we’re…” He looked away from her choosing not to see her face. “Look at me.”

“I’m sorry Sunyoung, I shouldn’t have kissed you. I just want us to be friends from now on.”

“No you don’t really mean that.” She grabbed his arm so he would turn and look at her. “Why are you doing this?”

“It’s what I really feel. I thought I like you but it’s not that at all.”

“But you kissed me,” she sniffed a few tears had already escaped. “You kissed me like you meant it.”

“I’m really sorry Sunyoung but I can’t do this now. I got to go,” he pulled off her hand and ran away from her. She stayed there for a good four hours just letting the tears flow. What she thought would be a romantic event turned out to be a disaster, her first heartache. She didn’t see him for a week and then she got a good news that she’ll be in SM’s new girl group together with four other girls.

It took another month for her to finally gather the courage to talk to him again. She didn’t want to avoid contact because they’re still in the same company and he’s still Taemin’s bestfriend. It was very awkward at first but she told him that she’s okay with being friends but that was the last real conversation she had with Jongin. Training with f(x) took all of her free time after school and she had no time to mind her broken heart. Soon she got used to the idea that her first love was never meant to be.

When f(x) officially debuted she rarely saw Jongin again and never did again send messages or call each other on the phone. It’s like they stopped being friends, like they never had anything. She simply forgot about him and her feelings. Somehow Kim Jongin just became her first love that never was and she moved on. But she kept Mr. Pig, she had moved on but she can’t let go of Mr. Pig it helps her remember the times before she became part of f(x) and she needed something to connect her to her past something that she only knows. She never told anyone about it except her twin of course and Mr. Pig.

-

The doorbell rang and Sunyoung got off the bed expecting to see her manager but instead she got Taemin. She stared at him for a good three seconds before she finally got to say anything.

“Are you going to stare at me all day?” Taemin said.

“Why are you here?”

“To get you, your manager called me. I’m free so I told him I could just get you here.” He saw the bag she prepared. “Just this?” he asked remembering the number of bags she brought with her when she first moved to their dorm. He carried the bag for her without waiting for a reply. “Come on.”

“Wait Taemin!” she called him.

“What now?”

“Uhm actually I wanted to tell you something, could I take Bap with me?” She hurriedly got Bap who was already inside his cage.

“Bwoh?”

“Please? I already asked permission from Jinki oppa, Minho oppa, Jonghyun oppa and Kibum oppa…”

“Wait, and I’m the last one to know? Shouldn’t you be asking me first?”

“Well…” He saw Luna hesitate then finally put down the cage. “I guess I could leave him here again.” the dog barked when Luna walked away from him.

“Fine you can bring him but do not let him roam freely inside the dorm and I don’t want him barking all the time!” Taemin said.

“Oh thanks!” Luna quickly hugged his arm before getting the cage again. “You should say thank you to Taemin.” she said to the dog and it barked again. When they were inside his car Luna wanted to ask about Mr. Pig but decided not to when he saw that Taemin is not in a good mood. He didn’t smile at all ever since she opened the door for him.

“Uhm where are we going?” Luna asked the first time she said something since they left the dorm. Taemin is taking a different route and it’s not the shortcut to their dorm.

“Home.”

“Did you move to a different building?”

“Not the dorm, we’re visiting our house.” He answered referring to his family’s house. “It’s my mom’s birthday.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I could have prepared a gift!”

“Like what, a cake?” he said not even hiding his sarcasm.

“Well let’s just buy something for her then!” Luna didn’t take the bait she didn’t want to start a fight with him.

“No need, we won’t be staying long. Dinner with them would be fine.”

“But Taemin!”

“Just calm down will you?” he said finally stopping the car. Luna didn’t realize that they had arrived. “We’re here.” Luna looked helpless. How could she not have a gift for her mother-in-law on her birthday? Taemin didn’t even wait for her he simple opened the door and called out his mom.

“Goodness you’re here!” she heard Taemin’s mom say and she saw her hug his youngest son. “Sunyoung!” she also extended her arms for Luna. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Happy birthday eomeonim.”

“Oh thank you Sunyoung. Let’s get you inside.” She pulled Sunyoung in without waiting for Taemin. He was left to carry Bap inside.

His father also greeted Sunyoung more enthusiastically like she’s their daughter. Taemin knows just how much they wanted to have a daughter.

“Now why don’t you take a seat first and I’ll have the table ready for dinner,” Mrs. Lee said and Sunyoung volunteered to help her. Mrs. Lee really likes Luna, thinking that she’s adorable and genuinely kind just the perfect match for her moody son.

“I’m really glad you could come, I know you’re busy with f(x) and your musical. By the way we watched your musical too bad we couldn’t greet you.”

“Really? Oh thank you eomeonim.” Luna ended up hugging her mother-in-law. Even her own parents weren’t able to watch her musical. She prepared a lot for dinner even having some of Luna’s favorite dishes showing just how much she likes her daughter-in-law.

The talk over dinner centered on f(x) activities with Taemin’s mom asking a lot of questions, she also wants to know about Luna’s student life and how she could balance everything. Taemin could see that her mom adores Luna from head to foot. He could see Luna feeling the same towards his mother. She was now very comfortable even laughing at his father’s jokes that he thinks are lame but Luna’s laugh makes it seem like it’s the funniest joke of all time.

“Sunyoung, I watch your show Amazing f(x).” Mrs. Lee announced over dessert.

“Oh really, thank you.” Luna felt ashamed that her mother-in-law knows a lot about her but she didn’t even have a gift for her. She should just visit her again.

“I really think you’re very brave when you jumped.” She continued referring to Luna trying out bungee jumping.

“I was really scared that time.”

“But I really enjoyed your bucketlist.”

Taemin has a feeling that something is about to go wrong but he waited until his mom could finish what she wanted to say but focusing his eyes on Luna’s face for the reaction.

“Especially the one where you said you wanted to have eight children.”

Luna blinked twice before fully understanding what her mother-in-law is saying.

“Yeobo I think you shouldn’t –” but his mom didn’t stop at that disregarding Mr. Lee’s warning she went on.

“I would really like to have eight beautiful grandchildren. I’d even help taking care of them, in fact you could leave them with me as often as you want. Oh how I would love to have a granddaughter right now but of course you’re both much too young for that but I do hope my first grandchild would be a girl. Not that I don’t want a grandson but you know…anyways it really doesn’t matter as long as you’d have daughters as well as sons. Four sons and four daughters would do it!”

Taemin could not help but chuckle at Luna’s expression. It’s like she just received news that she’s going bald for their next album. She noticed him and kicked him under the table and gave him a smirk when her foot connected.

“Yeobo the kids don’t want to think about that right now,” his father finally said.

“I know,” Mrs. Lee said. He knows that his youngest son would not be a father that soon. Even Taemin’s older brother does not have plans for marriage yet. “But it’s just that…” her face turned sad that Luna couldn’t help but reach out her hand to hers.

“It’s okay eomeonim,” Luna said and smiled at her. “I really wanted to have a big family. I grew up with a sister and brother not to count my cousins. I originally wanted ten but I think that’s a bit too much.”

“You’re serious?” Taemin’s father asked in disbelief ten of course is too many and he was amaze that Luna is really serious about this whole children thing.

“Neh abeonim, but that’d be years from now though.”

“But of course!” Mrs. Lee agreed. “No need to rush, you’re still much too young.”

Taemin looked at her like she just announced DBSK is coming back as five. How could she just carelessly tell his parents about her plans of having children in the future as if she’s planning their future together? Because right now it seems to him that Luna is talking about their future children.

It was another hour before they were finally out of his parents’ house and another hour before they arrived at the dorm. He didn’t talk to her and she fell asleep along the way the traffic was heavy.

“Sunyoung,” he gently shook her to wake her up. “We’re here.”

She stirred and opened her eyes. “Oh thank goodness I’m so tired.” She got out of the car and took Bap from the backseat. “Taemin could you please carry my bag?” But Taemin didn’t wait for her. “Yah Taemin wait up!”

He stopped walking but didn’t turn around.

“You could at least help me here,” Luna said struggling to carry Bap in one arm and her bag with the other. “It’s really heavy you know.” She walked towards him and stopped when he suddenly turned with anger in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t you just say nothing earlier?”

“What do you mean?”

“When my mom mentioned about having kids. You should have just shut up and did not say anything!”

“Well that would be rude –”

“What’s more rude is you lying about having kids!”

“I didn’t lie! I really want 8 children!”

“Not that, you made it seem like you wanted to have them with me Sunyoung! Did you forget that I’m currently your husband and you were talking about kids with my parents?”

“Well I didn’t think –” but she was cut off.

“That’s exactly the point! You didn’t think! You could have just smiled and said nothing. You didn’t have to give them false hopes!”

“Why are you so angry?”

“Didn’t you realize that they’re expecting that you’d be giving them grandchildren and eight of them to say the least. They think we’re a real couple that you and I would someday have children of our own!”

“Well I didn’t want to upset your mom and I didn’t really say that you’d be the father!”

“Are you stupid?” Taemin yelled and felt stupid after he said that. Luna in turn was shock and hurt was shown on her face right after.

 Silence followed. Luna backed away from him still with Bap in her arms the bag fell on the floor. He opened his mouth but no words would come out.

“Sunyoung? Taemin?” it was Minho. “What are you two still doing here?”

Luna turned to him with tears on her eyes. “Oppa could you please take Bap with you? I just need to go somewhere. I’ll be back later.” She dumped Bap into Minho’s arms and ran away.

Luna ended up going to the bus stop near Shinee’s dorm. No one was there except her and she let her tears flow. How could he yell at her like that? And he even called her stupid! She didn’t realize what she was implying when she was talking to his mom and it was too late to take it all back. It was his mom’s birthday after all she didn’t want her to be sad.

“Sunyoung?” She looked up to see Kai holding Mr. Pig. “What are you doing here? And why are you crying? Are you hurt?” Luna only shook her head.

“Why are you here?” she asked back as she wiped her tears.

“We returned Taemin’s car. And I wanted to return this to you. Our manager drove the car to Shinee’s dorm but I got off the car because I saw you.” He handed her Mr. Pig.

“Thanks.” She hugged Mr. Pig close to her chest.

“You still didn’t answer my question. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m okay,” she said trying to smile at her.

“No you’re not. If there’s one thing that you’re not good at it’s lying.

“No you’re wrong. I’m actually very good at it.” She said thinking that she just told Taemin’s parents nothing but lie.

“That’s not the Sunyoung I know.”

-

Minho waited for Taemin to talk but the latter stayed quiet with a blank face. To anyone it may look like Taemin is just bored but in truth Taemin is angry each of them knows each other so well. Minho didn’t want to push him but he needed to know what was going on to help him. And he didn’t like what Taemin did earlier. He heard him shouting at Sunyoung.

“Taemin,” he began but Taemin didn’t even turn to look at him. “Look I know you’re angry and I know there’s a reason why you shouted like that earlier.”

“I called her stupid hyung,” Taemin said.

Minho was surprised, he must really be angry to say that. He waited for further explanations but nothing came. “What happened?” It took Taemin a while to answer him.

“Sunyoung may seem naïve at times, she’s one of the nicest person I know. She may have said those things but not because she wanted to deceive your parents. You said you didn’t tell her that you’d be visiting your parents and it might have been awkward for her too.” Minho looked at him straight in the eye. “But I think there’s something more than what you’re telling here.”

“She likes someone,” Taemin said.

“Bwoh?” Now Minho didn’t expect this. “What do you mean by that?”

“Sunyoung likes someone and I believe she likes him even before she became Luna.”

“That long? Are you sure?”

“I asked her hyung.”

“Did she say who?”

“It does not matter who hyung. I just feel stupid for not even thinking about this before. All I ever think of is staying with Shinee, continuing with Shinee. I didn’t think what would happen if Sunyoung falls for someone.”

“You’re both in the same situation.”

“But I don’t like someone else!”

“Do you like her?” Minho can’t see the point of Taemin getting riled up that Sunyoung likes another guy unless he likes her.

“Hyung I’m not telling you a joke here.” Taemin was surprised that Minho is asking him this question. He of course, Lee Taemin, absolutely does not like Park Sunyoung! It’s impossible!

“Who’s laughing? I’m just asking if you like her Why would you care so much when both of you know that this marriage is not built in love?”

“All I’m saying is what if one day Sunyoug would realize that she may want to date someone or that guy she likes but she can’t because she’s still married to me? She’ll hate me, I think she probably hates me now.”

“If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that Sunyoung is not capable of hating anyone.”

“I just made her cry earlier. I raised my voice and called her stupid.”

“Well she might be upset right now but she’ll come around. You know how she is, she can’t stay mad at someone longer than an hour.”

“I don’t know hyung…”

“Taemin I know that you’re worried about Sunyoung it’s normal you know. But you must be sure of one thing.”

“What?”

“The reason why you’re acting this way. If you’re worried because she likes someone else and that she might want to date the guy or you’re upset because that guy is not you.”

“Hyung I’m telling you it’s not like that. I don’t like her.”

The doorbell rings and Minho was greeted with EXO’s manager with Taemin’s car keys.

“Thanks for bringing it hyung,” Taemin said. “I was going to get it tomorrow.”