Sheet 5

 

 

“Oh this?” I continued, “My dad gave it to me.”

 

“So that’s why you seem to always wear it.” He stated, as he relaxed his body on the bench.

 

“This is very sentimental to me.” I added even though I felt like he wasn’t that interested.

 

“He’s one lucky man to have a very thoughtful daughter like you.” he said.

 

“He died when I was in my teens.” I answered softly.

 

“Oh,” he paused, “I’m sorry.” He apologized.

 

I giggled, “It’s alright. I don’t mind talking about my dad. It brings back so many good memories.”

 

Yoochun nodded and took the bottle of Soju the ajumma gave us and drank it. When I thought the conversation was over he surprisingly spoke up, “You must really love him.” 

 

I replied immediately with pride, “Of course, he is the best dad in the world.”

 

Instead of responding he offered me some of the Soju. “No thanks, you have your saliva all over the lip of the bottle.” I complained declining his offer.

 

“I am already giving it to you and now you’re refusing it?”

 

“You can have it Yoochun.” I smiled.

 

He looked at me for a few seconds before retrieving his hand. He had one gulp of alcohol and then looked away. There was a few seconds of silence then, “I can’t remember when I last talked to my family.” he shared. 

 

The 'star' sighed, “I haven’t called them ever since I quit the industry. I was just so embarrassed of what I have become. I couldn’t face them. I failed to pursue my dream, my career.” He solemnly stated.

 

I gazed at the damned star. He looked so weak, so vulnerable. A very different side of him showing. Finally, he’s opening up to me. I know it is a very wrong time but I can’t help smiling.

 

“I want to let them know I am doing okay, but I just don’t have the guts to call them, especially in this state I’m in right now.” He ended.   

 

“Come on, man up!" I tapped his shoulder, "It would be better for you if you reconcile with your family. Tell them they have nothing to worry about.” I suggested, trying to share some courage with him.

 

“I’ll have to think about that.” The damned star let out a soft sigh as he stared out the dark sky.

 

“By the way, about us girls getting hurt easily just because of small things… not all girls are like that you know.” I uttered protecting the image of us women. Well at least that’s what I’m attempting to do.

 

His serious visage changed to his usual poker face, “Most of my past girlfriends were.” He replied.

 

I was about to continue my noble speech about my gender when he looked at me strikingly and stated, “But my last girlfriend Minkyung was different. She was an independent woman. My other girls depended too much on me. They didn’t have a strong heart like she did. She does not get offended easily. Minkyung was the perfect woman for me. Actually, I became the one reliant on her.” He looked away and took in a deep breath, “That’s why when she left, I was devastated. I leaned on her too much and got comfortable that when she left, I turned into one lost man.”  

 

I saw with my very own eyes this man shedding a tear. It was such a surreal moment. I was going to reach out to him but I felt him move away. He looked at me with those vulnerable eyes and gulped on the bottle of Soju on his hands.

 

“I needed her more, than she needed me.” He muttered.

 

I kept still and quiet, listening to his every word. I was learning his story.

 

He let out a short chuckle and continued telling me his story. Yoochun said that Minkyung even told him when she was about to break up with him, that she wished to focus more on her career, that she couldn’t be in a committed relationship at that point of her life. She should have told him earlier. He could have waited for her. When she was finally ready. But without giving him a warning about her future plans, she entered a relationship she knows she will let go of sooner or later.

 

I tried to move closer and carefully stretched out my hand and he allowed me to give him a pat on his back.

 

He took in another deep breath and continued talking, “I felt so stupid not to see I loved a career-oriented woman, someone who loves me less than her work. If I just saw it coming, things wouldn’t be like this.”

 

“I guess she did not faithfully love you like you think she did. If she could put things like her career before you, then you are not that significant to her.” I released my thoughts.

 

Yoochun gazed away and nodded, “Life’s just so unfair to me.” He replied softy.

 

I sighed, “Well, you know, you deser—” he cut me off, “…deserve someone better.” he chuckled, hearing this overrated line from me.

 

“I know, I know. It just easily slips from your tongue, since you are not me, but I tell you, it’s hard to inject that in my mind, when all I could think about is her.” He stated.

 

I got nothing else to say to that, I am inexperienced haven’t had a lot of boyfriends neither serious relationships, so I really don’t have anything else to tell him, so I tried to keep myself busy by playing with my cellular phone.

 

The damned star dropped the words, “I miss her.”

 

Those three heavy words brought a sharp sting to my heart. I don’t know the depth of his feelings towards her, it’s too profound for me to understand, but his statement summarizes it all. I can’t really interpret his emotions but all I can say is that girl must be one of a kind for her to be so unforgettable.

 

Then the star fell silent, so did I. We both sat there, staring at the endless lonely sky, listening to his pains as the night faded.

 

 ~•~•~•~•~

 

Last night was just so unreal. I still couldn’t believe Park Yoochun told me about his frustrations in life. I never knew I would get it out from him. I have this feeling I he would be more comfortable around me since he started opening up.
 

I was ready to leave for work when my mom visited my room, “Hey Minah, I made breakfast for you to bring to work, I also cooked some for Hyekyo. Hope you girls would like it.” She stated while handing me two lunch boxes.

 

I placed the lunch boxes inside my bag and smiled at her and kissed her on her cheek, “Thanks mom, we would definitely enjoy our breakfast, I love your cooking. Anyway I need to go. See you later mom, take care of yourself.”
 

She beamed back, “Alright dear, take care.”

I rushed out of my room and jumped in the hallway. I closed the front door and began walking, when I heard music coming from Yoochun’s unit. I got curious so pressed my ears on his door and I listened carefully. It took me a few minutes before realizing it was a melody I never heard of before, but when I heard his voice, it dawned to me that he might on the process be writing a new song.

 

I eagerly knocked on his door and he instantly opened it after a few seconds. “Yes, may I help you?” he uttered, slightly opening the door.

 

I smirked at him, “Well I was just passing by when I heard you singing, I got curious...”

 

“And…” he said, wondering if I have more to say.

 

“Well, could I hear it? Is it a new song?” I queried, sounding very interested.  

 

“It’s none of your business.” The damned star stated with much arrogance.

“Oh please can I hear it? Pretty please.” I begged him.

His reply was simply a, “No.”

“Please, please, please.” I stated, trying to annoy him with my persistence.

 

“You don’t need to hear it, now leave me alone.” He rudely said.

“Just a few lines.”

“I said no.” he uttered, completely opening the door.

 

I took my chance and rushed in his apartment.

“Yah!” he yelled, but that can’t do anything now since I am already inside.

 

I headed to his piano and looked for his music sheets, and there I found a freshly composed song.

 

“Could you play this for me, Yoochun? I want to hear it up close.” I shamelessly requested.

All he could do was glare at me and he had no other choice but to give in.

 

He snatched the music sheet from my hands and placed it on the music rack. He made himself comfortable and began playing the piano. It was a very lonely tune right from the start, somewhat reflecting his past experiences.

 

The star cleared his throat and began singing, ♫ “Oh, I’ve been wondering if you ever had thought of me before you slept at night, oh my baby. I wonder if you missed me during cold rainy nights. I wonder if you ever had that urge of looking back when you said to me that painful word, ‘good-bye’. I wonder if you regret leaving me, because I can’t get over you… Oh please come back.”

 

Hearing the first verse of the whole song was just so heartbreaking. This is such a perfect song for his unfortunate story. I was expecting to hear more but he voluntarily halted. He stood up and looked at me straight in the eyes, “Are you satisfied now?” he stated.

 

“Yes, very much satisfied. That was a nice song Yoochun. I really felt it even if you only sang a short part.” I praised him trying to lift his spirits up.

 

Yoochun looked away, “I wrote it as soon as we got home last night. I just had to express my thoughts through a song.” He shared.

 

“I’m glad you’re finally able to write and compose songs again.” I merrily said to him.

 

“Wait… Why am I telling you these things anyway, go and leave me alone, right now.” He ordered pushing me towards the main door.

 

The damned star dragged me outside the hallway and was about to close the door when I stopped him, “Wait!”

 

“What?!”

“I know this might sound weird but can I have your autograph? It’s for my friend Hyekyo, she’s a fan.” I told him as I presented him with a ballpen and a piece of scented paper.

 

The damned star rolled his eyes and took the pen and paper and hurriedly signed it. He shoved it on my hands and said, “Alright, good-bye.” and slammed the old wooden door right at my face.

 

Oh he just can’t help but to be so rude to me when I’m trying to be nice to him. He’s such a pain.

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

Days had passed and I saw a huge improvement with Yoochun. He’s less gloomy than before, he smiles from time to time and he is less rude. Wait, forget my last statement, he is still rude and I have no idea how to tone it down. Anyway, I guess that night was very significant after all. I do feel more comfortable around him, not acting so awkwardly around him anymore. I do hope he feels the same way or else I am just kidding myself in my attempt to help him recover. 

 

I was preparing to leave for work when I heard my mom yelling my name, “Minah, Minah!”

I got off my bed and went to my mom and to my surprise… Yoochun was there at our living room.

“What’s going on?” I wondered.

My mom lightly slapped my arm, “Why didn’t you tell me Park Yoochun was living next door?!”

“Mom,” I reacted and continued, “he said to keep it a secret.” I answered staring at the star.

 

“Why are you hiding from someone? Are you hiding from a syndicate or something?” My mom kept asking questions.

 

“No ma’am.” He politely replied.

“You should watch the news often mom, so you would know the reason.” I stated.

 

She sighed, “Alright I will stop asking questions. But when you get home from work you’d better tell me everything and how you met him.”

 

“Okay mom.” I agreed, well she had the right to know what’s going on.

 

Meanwhile, Yoochun just stood there watching us. I looked at him, puzzled on how my mom found out that he was staying here at the apartment house. He noticed me and uneasily beamed at me.

 

I went back to my room and grabbed my bag and went back to our living room. I bid good-bye to my mom and held Yoochun’s wrist. He bowed his head before her and said, “Nice to meet you Minah’s mother.” and then I pulled him out of the unit and shut the door.

 

“What was that about?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow at him.

 

“I just wanted to visit your unit and ask if you had extra hot water for my coffee. My coffee machine broke last night, and I ran out of gas this early morning, so I couldn’t use the stove to heat up water.” He reasoned giving me a blank expression.

 

“That’s it? Ever thought of messaging me on my cellphone? Now my mom knows you live here, so much for keeping it a secret. You revealed yourself, way to go Yoochun.” I stated.

 

“I don't want to have your number and besides you never told me your mom still exists. All I wanted was hot water” He retorted.

 

“What?!” I blurted out with shock, “You thought my mom was dead?”

 

“You never told me about her so I assumed she was dead when you said your father was deceased.”

“That’s just crazy!” I exclaimed.

“Hey don’t blame me, I was not informed!” he replied.

 

The door suddenly flew open and my mom appeared, “Hello, Minah’s living mother here, I can hear your conversation from inside.” She mentioned.

 

“I apologize ma’am, but your daughter started the whole argument.” The damned star said trying to look nice in front of my mother.

 

“Hey--” I was about to protest but he shot me the don’t-even-dare-look.

“Sorry mom, forget the things that we’ve said about you. It was all a misunderstanding.” I apologized as I bowed my head, while giving dagger-looks at him.

 

He shot her an innocent smile, “I’ll be heading off now.” My mom can’t help but smile back at him as he left.

 

The star was out of our sight when my mom started giggling, “He’s so handsome Minah, I can’t believe you kept this from me. I better tell my friends.”

 

“No mom, that you won’t do. We have to keep this to ourselves. He wants privacy.” I explained.

 

“Alright. I understand dear, don’t worry I will stay quiet.” She promised.

 

“Thanks mom.”

 

A few seconds after I smelled something burning, “Hey mom are you cooking something?”

 

“My casserole! Minah take care, I have to go.” My mother kissed me on my right cheek and proceeded inside our apartment.

 

“Bye mom.” I whispered and began walking out the hallway.

 

I leisurely hopped down the stoop of the apartment house, when I noticed a strange guy from across the street hiding behind a hedge located at a pre-school playground. My steps got shorter, as I tried to observe him. The man in a gray coat wearing a dark shade of sunglasses just stared at the apartment, like he was waiting for someone to come out. I soon noticed an eye-catching SLR camera on his hand taking shots of the place. I ignored the man and focused on walking when I noticed Yoochun a few feet away. That’s the only time it hit me. That guy must be a paparazzo. I ran towards the damned star, “Yah!” I yelled as I came close to him.

 

The star halted from his walking and faced me with an irritated face, “What now?”

“Where are you going?” I asked as I kept looking back at the paparazzo.

“I’m going to the convenient store to buy hot coffee.” He emptily uttered as he continued his walking.

 

“Oh… right.” I replied still glancing at the strange man.

 

Yoochun did not dare look at me after my last statement so I pursued the conversation, “Uhm, did you notice the man across the street taking pictures?” I wondered.

 

“He’s been there since last week.” He answered.

“He has been stalking you since last week? How come you’re not doing anything about it?”

 

I heard him release a deep sigh, “He never recognizes me whenever I come outside. He just hides behind the bushes there until I’m out of his vision, then he would carry on taking pictures of the apartment.”

 

“What if he was taking candid shots of you? Then it would get published. People will know where you are and disturb you again.” I uttered, concerned for him.

 

“Nah, I doubt it, he’s a newbie, haven’t seen him before. All he would have is a bunch of apartment pictures.”  He confidently stated.

 

“You’re not worried one bit?”

 

“Nope, unless he calls his other colleagues, but for now one person is not much of a big deal to me, considering the fact he’s new to the business.” Yoochun shared.

 

I scratched my head, “You should at least be cautious.”

 

“I have been cautious, I’m just waiting for that day they would soon know where I am, and apparently that day is soon coming. I was once a star, they will do everything to know my condition.”

 

I just glanced at the star, speechless, after seeing a different side of him, the ‘I-am-a-star-and-I’m-used-to-these-kinds-of-stuff’ part of him.

 

We reached the convenient store and he thoughtlessly entered the establishment without even saying good-bye. I observed the damned star from the outside, still confused about his true identity. He’s still so mysterious to me.

 

 

~•~•~•~•~

 

 

Author's Note:

 

Hello guys, I have been busy with school, wait let's just say occuppied with school works and stuff so I haven't been updating like I promised to. Sorry about that, anyway, I have been keeping track of new comments and you all want me to update soon, so here's an update for you guys. Forgive me for the boring chapter. :( I am still experiencig a "creativity drain" yes I made that up just now, well what I mean is that I just can't quite think of an exciting scene here yet, the scenes I  have in mind would make the story too fast so I have to stall from that.

The lyrics above are written by me. I matched it with DBSK's Back to Tomorrow (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuahsB40a_4). Please don't get offended, I know Chun is now part of JYJ and I am using a DBSK song here, to me they will still be forever 5, you know like JYJ is just a sub-group or something anywho, I just really like the melody of the song so I decided to use it, it just fits the moment well and of course the lyrics, no other reason.

I don't know how to explain to you how the lyrics blends with the tune so yeah it's up to you if you wanna try singing it. If you do want me to explain the whole thing just comment and I will put it up in the next chap's author's note, or re-edit the note and place it here.

And condolence to Yoochun and Yoohwan. Stay strong guys. <3   

            That was a long note, hahaha anyway hope you guys at least enjoyed my update after 5 months? :P